


Cool for the Summer

by wickedarcher_08



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Drinking, First Time, Fluff, Hand Jobs, Harry pov, It's just weed guys, Light Angst, Louis POV, M/M, Masturbation, Recreational Drug Use, Rimming, Slow Burn, Smut, Straight!Louis, Summer, Summer Romance, Underage Drinking, kindof, straight - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2019-06-25 10:30:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 121,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15638913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wickedarcher_08/pseuds/wickedarcher_08
Summary: Louis is straight, well at least he thinks he is until he meets Harry Styles at a party. They spend the warm months having fun and getting through a few obstacles. Can Harry convince Louis to give their relationship a chance beyond the summer?-----Take me down into your paradiseDon't be scared 'cause I'm your body typeJust something that we wanna try'Cause you and IWe're cool for the summer





	1. Here Comes the Weekend

**Author's Note:**

> First, I want to take a moment to thank two people  
> Dana who is going through this fic to fix errors and such. It had a lot of misspellings and grammatical errors, so she agreed to go back through to fix some stuff that was missed.  
> Mari who was the first to read it and encouraged me to keep going. I don't know if I would have done it without her. She also has an amazing WIP going, so check it out.  
> There is also a [Spotify Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/mmbrabd/playlist/3K8GDQgXDwKVDLVF6h3H1T?si=sgO-djloQzmO81_jPnYdYQ%20rel=) that will be updated weekly with the songs represented as chapter titles as well as any other songs that are featured in each chapter. 
> 
> This is my first Larry fic and my first Multi-chapter fic, so if it sucks I'm sorry. I am also fairly new to the fandom.  
> I got this idea originally from the Demi Lovato song Cool for the Summer which I interpret is about a summer fling between two people of the same sex. Read the lyrics if you would like.  
> Finally, here is my twitter- @Wicked_Archer and Tumblr- wicked-archer, follow me on here to get updates and chapter summaries or if you just wanna yell at me or ask questions. I hope you enjoy!

 

 

_ Drink some pink champagne _ __   
_ I don’t know you yet _ __   
_ But we’ll forget _ __   
_ So, fuck what they say _ _   
_ __ Let the rum flow until it rains- P!nk

Louis is not looking forward to the next few months. All of his friends seem to be leaving for the entire summer for an internship or going on some ridiculously expensive vacation. He, on the other hand, is spending his summer working to pay for the rent on his overpriced apartment near campus. Thankfully his roommate, Liam, isn’t planning on going anywhere for an extended period of time this summer. This fact is his only saving grace. 

“Lou, are you ready yet?” Came Liam’s voice from somewhere in the apartment. 

Louis rolls his eyes, “Do I really have to go? I am not going to know anyone, and I am really not in the mood. Spending eight hours pretending to give a fuck will do that to you.” 

With that, Liam pokes his head and half of his body through Louis’ slightly ajar bedroom door. His brown eyes are soft which makes Louis want to punch him. He knows Liam is going for the puppy dog look that he knows Louis can't resist for very long.

“Come on, Lou. It will be good for you. Celebrate the end of the semester and all of that. You also like making friends, and there could be some hot girls there,” Liam says, wiggling his eyebrows in a suggestive manner, causing Louis to crack a smile against his will.

Liam is right. Louis hasn’t gotten laid in a while, much preferring to focus on his school work, or at least that is what he has been telling himself. In truth, he hasn’t really found a girl that he is interested in enough to sleep with. They just weren’t doing  it for him lately. He shrugs off the feeling and replies, “It‘s going to be boring with all of your music friends. What on earth do I have in common with any of those people? I’m going into my fourth year of Business Management.” 

“Some of them are like me and are going into the business side of the music industry,” Liam reasons with a shrug. 

“You don’t count. We have known each other since we were children,” Louis says, crossing his arms in front of his chest, trying to act like he isn’t going to budge on this. He is. 

“Louis, will you stop being so difficult? Change into something nice. It is just a fucking house party. It’s not like I’m asking you to move to Antarctica,” Liam says, rolling his eyes, starting to walk away. Louis flips him off in response. 

Once Louis is alone again, he sighs, looking around his small room. He slowly moves through his closet, like he isn’t giving in and going to a stupid house party. He absolutely refuses to get dressed up for this, so he pulls on a pair of tight, black, skinny jeans and an old Rolling Stones t-shirt. He looks in the mirror, briefly debating on shaving the scruff from his chin and cheeks, ultimately deciding not to bother since he isn’t trying impress anyone. He just runs a hand through his messy hair before he deems himself presentable.  He grabs his wallet and cell as he walks out the room to find Liam in the living room waiting on him. 

“Ready?” Louis asks as a peace offering, even though they weren’t really fighting. 

Liam’s answering smile makes his eyes crinkle at the corners, so Louis rolls his eyes to hide his own smile, refusing to give in that easily. Louis throws on a pair of Converse as they leave their apartment and lock the door. 

“Where is this house party anyway?” Louis asks as they make their way out into the warm night air. 

“Not far,” Liam replies, nodding his head to the right. “We can walk.” 

The walk to the party is mostly quiet. He and Liam chat a little about the end of the semester and final grades which will be coming out next week. They had both been so busy with finals for the last two weeks, it feels like he hasn’t even seen the person he lives with. 

“Here we are,” Liam says as they step in front of a large house. Louis can hear music playing from their location on the sidewalk and sees people holding solo cups, scatter around the front porch. Liam leads them up to the house and greets a few people who Louis assumes are his classmates.

 

_________

 

  
Two hours later, Louis has his third solo cup in his hand, filled with some concoction labeled ‘jungle juice’ and is feeling on the good side of drunk. He is standing with Liam who talking to a group of people about musical interests, of fucking course. He has honestly kind of checked out of the conversation, preferring to look around the room to people watch. He is standing in the kitchen which gives him a great view of the living room and even some of the porch. 

He lets his eyes wander slowly over his surroundings seeing people in different stages of inebriation. One girl is already looking completely shitfaced and is being led outside by her friends. If it was some dude doing the leading, Louis would have intervened, but he figures she is in good hands with her friends. His eyes slowly track their way to the makeshift dance floor. The beginning chords of  _ Cool for the Summer _ by Demi Lovato begin to play through the speakers. 

The first thing he notices are gold boots. Shiny, pointed toe gold boots on large feet. His eyes slowly work their way up very long, very lean legs in a pair of obscenely tight skinny jeans. The person’s torso is covered, if you could call it that, in a sheer black shirt with red flowers, only about two and half buttons done up. The shirt allows a torso and arms full of stark black tattoos to peek through. Next, he sees dark, curly hair brushing the shoulders of the sheer shirt. Hair that looks like it would be soft to the touch, and makes him want to run his fingers through it. Finally, Louis’ eyes land on the person’s face, and fuck, wide pink lips, a strong jawline, and green eyes that stand out even across the distance. He is smiling with a dimple popping out on his left cheek.  

Curly, as Louis begins referring to him in his head, is dancing with two girls. His long legs are swaying to a beat of their own while his hips bump and grind with everyone else. His arms are thrown above his head, and his forehead is glistening with a light sheen of sweat. He is, quite possibly, the most beautiful person Louis has ever seen, from an objective standpoint. Louis’ alcohol addled brain doesn't process the fact that he has been checking out a guy for the past few minutes.  

Louis continues to watch the man bump and grind with the others around him. Every now and again, Louis sees a pretty pink tongue peek out to wet his plump, red lips. Occasionally, he will throw his head back with the song to expose a long column of exposed neck that Louis wants to mark.  When the song begins to come to a close, Curly’s green eyes locks with his.    
  


 

__________

 

Harry is just drunk enough to allow two of his female friends to lead him out to the makeshift dance floor of the house party, so for the past few minutes, he has been bumping and grinding to the music. He lets his eyes scan the crowd of people dancing around him, then through the rest of the partygoers until they land on a very attractive man that is surrounded by a small group of people. He has a red solo cup resting in his small hand while he is obviously pretending to be interested in the conversation that is going on in the small group around him. 

The man is dressed in a simple outfit that hugs his curvy frame perfectly. His lightly tanned arms are littered with tattoos. Harry’s eyes linger on some, but there doesn’t seem to be a theme among them, almost like a sketch pad that represents his life. His shirt looks old and worn with the collar stretched, revealing prominent collarbones with a scripted tattoo connecting them. Harry can’t quite make out what it says, but he has the sudden urge to trace the words with his tongue. Finally, his gaze settles on the man’s face. He has high cheekbones, thin lips, and the most beautiful blue eyes Harry has ever seen. The kind of eyes he could drown in. 

Harry notices the man’s gaze is starting to move towards the dance floor when the song changes, so Harry, always being a performer, decides to put on a show. He begins to move his hips and legs seductively to the beat of the music, careful to avoid the gaze of the stranger. Harry knows he is attractive and knows his best assets, so he plays them up. He licks and bites his full lips, flips his hair, and exposes his long neck in hope that the stranger is actually watching. As the last lines of the song pounds through the speaker, he decides to chance a glance only for his gaze to lock with blue eyes from across the room. 

After the song ends, Harry finds himself politely excusing himself from his friends on the dance floor. He notices the man has looked away and seems to have engrossed himself in the conversation of the group around him. Harry doesn't want to just fling himself into the conversation, especially since he doesn't recognize anyone in the group. He was forced here by his roommate, Niall, who is a music major, but is glad he came since it has been a good celebration for the end of the semester. 

The realization suddenly hits Harry. If he wants to talk to the man, he needs his roommate, Niall. Niall is loud and great at talking to people. More importantly, he may even know who he is. Harry veers off his pathway towards the man to go outside to the back porch, where he is sure to find his friend playing beer pong. 

“Harry!” Niall yells as soon as he steps outside. Harry’s gaze lands on the other man who has his arms open wide for Harry. Niall has always been a touchy drunk, but Harry doesn't mind as he returns his hug. 

“Hey,” Harry greets, pulling back from the bear hug. 

“What brings you out here? Do you wanna play a game?” Niall asks, holding up the ping pong ball. It looks like the game he was playing just ended. 

“Nah. I came to ask for your help, actually,” Harry says, pushing his hands deep into his very tight pockets. 

“Anything for you,” Niall replies, handing the ball over to another person who is waiting to play, leading Harry over to the end of the porch. 

“Well,” Harry starts. “There is this guy in there that I would like to meet, but he’s talking to a group of people I don’t know.” 

Harry’s explanation trails off as Niall finishes for him. “So you want me to introduce you to this hot guy since I know most of the people at this party?” 

“Yes,” Harry says, smiling at the fact that his friend knows him so well. “Maybe you could even tell me if he’s into guys. He was definitely checking me out, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he isn’t straight.” 

“What if he’s not?” Niall asks. At Harry’s confused look, he clarifies by adding, “Into guys, I mean.” 

“Then I may just have to change his mind,” Harry says with a smirk. Niall looks skeptical, but still allows Harry to lead him back into the house towards the group in the kitchen. 

As soon as they make their way through the door, Harry pulls Niall to the side again so he can point out the stranger. Luckily, he’s still standing with the same group of people. Every so often, he lifts his solo cup to take a gulp of whatever his drink of choice is. Harry enjoys watching his throat as he swallows the liquid. 

“Well,” Niall begins, breaking into this thoughts. “I don’t know him specifically, but I know some of the people he is with.” 

“Great,” Harry says, grabbing Niall’s bicep in excitement. “Introduce me.” 

Harry cannot explain why he suddenly feels like he has to know more about this man in order to keep breathing, but, as Niall hands him another drink and leads him in the direction of the group, that is exactly how he feels. As they get closer to the group, he hears a soft, raspy voice contributing to the conversation. He knows instantly, without even seeing, that it has to belong to the stranger. 

 

__________

 

Louis is now officially drunk. He lost sight of Curly several minutes ago, which had upset him more than he cares to admit. Questions are running through his mind at light speed about the guy, emphasis on guy. Louis knows that he could objectively tell when a man is attractive, but he never wanted to know what was under his clothes before. This thought sent Louis spiraling, so he’s been drowning his sorrows in another cup of jungle juice ever since, only half paying attention to the conversation. He looks up when he hears Liam’s voice exclaim, “Niall!” 

Louis watches as a guy with bright blond hair and blue eyes approaches their circle. As he moves to give Liam that half hug half handshake thing that guys do to show they’re not gay, Louis spots who is accompanying him. His breath almost leaves his body when he sees Curly, who is even more beautiful, if that is even possible, close up. He is tall. Quite a bit taller than Louis. His large hands are clasped in front of his body, rings on almost every long finger. His green eyes are boring into Louis’, but he can’t find the fucks to force himself to look away. 

“Hey guys!” Niall greets the group. Louis really wants him to get to the part where he introduces his curly haired friend. “This is my roommate, Harry.” With the introduction, Harry gives a dazzling smile and a small wave that feels like it is only for him. 

After various greetings from the group, Niall continues, “Harry, these are some of my friends from the program.” Niall points to each person as he says their name, finally landing on Louis. Louis immediately realizes that Naill doesn’t know his name for an introduction. 

Before he can panic and stutter out his name, Liam chimes in. “This is Louis. Louis Tomlinson. He’s my roommate.” He puts his arm around Louis’ shoulder, and Louis is thankful for the support. 

“Louis, nice to meet you,” Niall says with an easy smile as he shakes Louis’ hand. 

Louis’ attention then turns to Niall’s curly haired friend, Harry, as he holds out his large hand. Louis takes it, noticing how it envelopes his much smaller one. It is warm and soft, but his fingertips have some callouses, like he plays guitar or something. Louis realizes he has probably been holding Harry’s hand for longer than is socially acceptable and releases it as if it was actually burning him. If Harry notices the strange behavior, it doesn’t show. 

Louis tries to check back into the conversation, but finds his focus drifting back to Harry. He has to be really drunk because, for some reason, he can’t take his eyes off of him. His voice is deep and he speaks as if he is never in a hurry. His words form slowly while his hands gesture broadly, and when he listens, it actually seems like he cares about what you have to say. Suddenly, a voice breaks through his drunken Harry filled haze.

“I’m sorry, what?” Louis asks, shaking himself. It is only then that he notices it is actually Harry who was speaking to him. 

Harry smiles, like he knows that Louis was thinking about him. Which is not possible, right? Louis hasn’t been broadcasting his thoughts, has he? He is drunk but not  _ that _ drunk. He glances at Liam for reassurance that he, in fact, has kept his thoughts to himself. Liam is quietly chatting with the other members of the group, and it is then that Louis notices he and Harry have somehow gotten separated from the others and are off to the side. 

“I asked,” Harry begins, clearing his throat again, “if you are majoring in music as well?” 

“Oh,” Louis says, trying to look into Harry’s eyes, and not at his lips. Louis licks his own lips before replying. “No. I’m actually going into my fourth year of Business Management. After I graduate, I plan to go for an MBA. What about you?”

“Oh, that’s interesting,” Harry responds politely, taking another sip from his cup. “I am going into my sophomore year of pre-law. Obviously, afterwards, I plan to go to law school.” 

This little bit of information shocks Louis. He was not expecting Harry, who looks like some kind of rock star with his tattoos, sheer shirt, and long hair, to say that he is wanting to be a lawyer. His shock must have shown on his face because Harry giggles, actually giggles, at his expression. 

“Yeah. I know. I don’t really look like a lawyer,” Harry says with a shrug, like he gets that all the time. “Honestly, if it were up to me, I would probably study music or something. I really like singing and playing the guitar, but my parents want me to do something practical.” Harry uses four large fingers to put air quotes around the word ‘practical’ and rolls his eyes. 

Louis gives himself an internal pat on the back for guessing that Harry plays guitar, but that thought quickly goes to the back of his mind as Harry’s other words sink in. He sings. Suddenly, Louis wishes they were at a karaoke bar, so he could hear what Harry’s deep voice sounds like when he sings. Louis snaps back to reality again when he notices Harry staring at him, as if he is waiting for Louis to continue the conversation. Right, they were discussing majors. 

“Oh yeah. I guess I am kind of lucky that my parents aren’t paying for my school, so I can kind of choose whatever major I want. I am here on scholarships and grants,” Louis supplies, unsure of why he felt the need to share this information. 

“Oh, so you’re a smart guy,” Harry says, grinning. It almost feels flirty, but Louis pushes that thought to the back of his mind along with all other thoughts concerning Harry. 

“Eh. Not really. I actually fucked off a lot in high school, bit of a trouble maker. I barely graduated, but decided I wanted better for myself and my family. I then buckled down to do well on the SAT. So, here I am,” Louis explains, stretching his arms away from his torso. 

“Oh, I like a bad boy,” Harry says, dimple popping with his smile. And okay, he is definitely flirting with Louis, and Louis simply doesn’t know what the fuck to do. Should he flirt back? Tell him that he is straight? He is straight, right? He is saved from his second downward spiral of the night by Harry, go figure, when he adds, “You seem to be doing well for yourself now. Scholarships aren’t easy to come by.” 

“Yeah, I’d say so, but I still have some bad boy tendencies,” Louis says with a wink at Harry, and where the fuck did that come from? Now, he was flirting. Stupid alcohol messing with his brain, but the loud cackle from Harry makes the comment worth it. 

“I’ll file that away,” Harry says, smiling at Louis. Louis decides that he very much likes his smile. Whether that would be true in the morning, when the sun was up and he was sober, is an entirely different story. 

“So,” Louis says, deciding to change the subject. “You said that you like to sing. Do you just sing karaoke at local bars or what?” 

Harry laughs again, and it may be Louis’ favorite sound. “No. Niall and I actually have a band. Niall plays lead guitar, I play rhythm, then we have two friends Cal and Ash who play the bass and drums. We sometimes play at open mic nights, if you ever wanted to come out and watch.” 

“I’d like that,” Louis says, before he is even able to contemplate the fact that he is making future plans with Harry. Without thinking, he adds, “Would you dedicate a song to me at this open mic night?” 

“Of course,” Harry says. Louis thinks he is blushing, but it could be the alcohol that is making Harry’s cheeks tint red. Either way, it is a lovely shade. Louis really should tell Harry that he is straight, but for some reason, he doesn’t. 

“What kind of music do you play?” He asks instead. 

“Erm, we mostly do covers, but we do have some original stuff. Mostly, it’s rock inspired,” Harry says and Louis nods along. 

 

__________

 

Harry definitely thinks Louis is flirting, but he gets the idea that maybe Louis doesn't notice he is. Louis keeps touching him during the conversation. Light touches on his arm or grazing his fingers with his own. Maybe Louis is just a touchy drunk. They are getting progressively more drunk as the conversation goes on, both walking slowly to refill their cups. 

“Wait, so if you’re going into your sophomore year, that makes you like what,” Louis trails off as he looks up towards the ceiling. His eyebrows are furrowed in concentration as if he is trying to solve the hardest math equation in existence. Harry wants to kiss the lines away. 

“19,” Harry answers for him, taking another drink. The alcohol was starting to make him feel warm. Had been for a while, actually, but maybe this is the first time he’s noticed it since he is pressed up against Louis towards the far end of the wall. The other sounds from the party seem muffled next to him. 

“Curly, you naughty boy. You’re underage,” Louis teases with a sly smile as he gestures to the red solo cup in Harry’s hand. Louis’ blue eyes widen with the realization that he used the nickname he’s been mentally using for Harry since he first set eyes on him. Harry can feel the heat rising on his cheeks and it isn't from the alcohol pumping through his veins. He finds he quite likes Louis’ use of a nickname for him. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Harry responds, looking down at their feet in embarrassment, “But this is college, everyone does it. I have a fake ID and stuff. I'm also very good at getting free drinks. You can’t tell me you didn’t drink when you were underage.” 

“I was the perfect example of youth,” Louis says with a smirk, raising a delicate hand to his puffed out chest.  

“Oh yeah?” Harry replies with a smirk of his own. “What happened to the bad boy you mentioned earlier?” Louis was raising his drink to his lips to take a sip, but as Harry made that comment, he starts to sputter, coughing and trying to suck in air. Harry laughs and clumsily pats him on the back to help clear his airway. “Pretty sure you aren't a fish. You’re supposed to drink it, not breathe it.”

“Cheeky,” Louis says, his face red but recovering. 

“So, you’re like, 21?” Harry asks, attempting to go back to the subject at hand. 

“Yeah,” Louis answers, taking another sip of his drink but swallowing this time, instead of inhaling. 

“Awesome. You can buy me booze! Niall doesn’t turn 21 until September,” Harry exclaims. He and Niall were always looking for ways around using his fake ID to get alcohol, and he may have found that.  

“I knew there was a reason you started talking to me. You probably knew I was 21 due to my beard and overall manly-ness,” Louis replies, gesturing to himself.  

The noise that Harry releases from his body is somewhere between a laugh and a squawk. He quickly claps his hand over his mouth to muffle the embarrassing sound. He just couldn’t help it. He’s drunk, and Louis had a way of catching him off guard with his particular brand of humor. After he removes his hand, he notices Louis is wearing a smug smile on his face, as if he is endeared by Harry’s outburst. 

“I am pretty sure manly-ness does not equate to age,” Harry replies finally, his brain not able to make out any other logical argument. “And I started talking to you because I thought you seemed interesting. Plus you’re easy on the eye,” he adds as an afterthought. 

“Oh. Thank you,” Louis says, and for the first time during their private conversation, Louis’ gaze flickers around the room, as if looking for a distraction. 

Harry clears his throat, and decides to change the subject. He looks down at his cup before he asks, “So what do you think is in the ‘jungle juice’?” 

Louis looks slightly relieved at the change of subject and glances down at his own cup. “I’m not sure. Probably some kind of juice with vodka.” 

“I am rather partial to bananas,” Harry says, although he knows that the liquid in his cup has no trace of bananas. 

“Eh. I prefer peach,” Louis responds with another sip. 

 

___________

 

Harry has definitely been flirting with Louis, and Louis actually thinks he may be flirting back. He is currently blaming the whole ordeal on his current state of inebriation. Harry’s ‘easy on the eye’ statement keeps playing on repeat in his head. Now the whole quote is written in neon lighting and is flashing over and over in his skull. He gets jolted out of the easy conversation and his own turbulent thoughts and back into reality by Liam, who’s come over to put his arms around him. 

“Hi Li,” Louis greets his very drunk friend. 

“Hi Louis. I’m so drunk,” Liam states matter-of-factly, causing Louis to chuckle. He glances at his phone and sees that it is way later than he thought. 

“Do you wanna go home, Li?” Louis asks, attempting to look his friend in the eye. Liam’s body goes slack on him, which isn’t good since Liam is both taller than him and is pretty much all muscle. The dude works out far too much for Louis’ liking. 

“Yes, please,” Liam mumbles into his shoulder. 

“Alright, but you’ve gotta help me out,” Louis says, hoisting Liam’s arm over his shoulder to support most of his weight. He is pretty drunk himself, but he knows he will be able to get Liam home. 

“Do you need some help getting him home?” Harry asks, concern evident in the slow question. 

“Nah. I got him, thanks though. It was nice meeting you, Harry,” Louis says, by way of dismissal. He really needs to get away from Harry and back to a world where shit made sense. A world where he doesn't want to lick a guy’s dimple or kiss his red bitten lips. 

“Wait, Louis,” He hears Harry say as he starts to move Liam towards the door. He really should ignore him and pretend he didn’t hear his name. He should walk out the door and go back to his normal life. Perhaps find a girl to fuck, and pretend that he had never met Harry. Instead, his body betrays him and turns toward the sound of the deep voice Louis has come to enjoy. 

“Yeah?” Louis says as Harry rushes towards him. 

“Can I get your number? I’ve just really enjoyed talking to you tonight. I thought we could hang out,” Harry says all in one long rush. It is the fastest he has spoken all night. Louis is too drunk to cover his surprised reaction. He knows his eyebrows have arched into his hairline, and his mouth is probably open in an unflattering way. He is about to tell Harry, once and for all, that he is straight and not interested, even though a tiny voice in the back of his head says he may not be as straight as he thought when Harry adds, “As friends.” 

“Uh. Yeah. Sure. Okay,” Louis stumbles out, reaching for the phone Harry has in his outstretched hand. He considers, briefly, entering the wrong number, but decides he is not that much of a dick. He saves his number in Harry’s phone as just the peach emoji, since they were talking about their favorite fruits earlier in the conversation. Louis thinks it is clever, and believes Harry agrees with him when he takes the phone back to see what Louis has saved it as. 

A few seconds later, he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. He retrieves it to see a notification from an unknown number. He opens it, and it is just the banana emoji. He glances at Harry who is smirking. “I’ll see you around, Peaches,” he says with a wave before he walks back towards Niall. 

Louis can’t help notice the way he walks, somehow making his pigeon toes look graceful as he makes his way through the crowd. Louis finds himself staring at his broad back, of all things, as he walks away. 

“Stop staring at your lover boy and take me home,” Liam says, shattering Louis’ thoughts. 

“What?” Louis asks, taken off guard by Liam’s commentary. 

“I said stop staring at lover boy and take me home. At least, that is what I think I said,” Liam slurs with his eyebrows drawn together in confusion, attempting to piece together if that was really the sentence he uttered. 

“He isn’t my lover boy,” Louis insists as he guides his friend through the door and down the steps to the sidewalk. 

“You have been flirting with him all night, Lou,” Liam points out, his drunken mind shedding light on a situation Louis was happy to keep in the dark recesses of his brain. 

“Liam, I’m straight,” Louis says by way of a response. In truth, it’s all he can think to say. They slowly make their way back home. Liam drops the subject on the walk back to their apartment. Louis isn’t sure if he is thankful for this fact because it leaves Louis alone with his turbulent thoughts. What did Liam mean when he said that Louis was flirting? Does he think that Louis isn’t straight? Would he care if Louis wasn’t straight? These questions, and many more, were running though his mind like a bullet train. 

He is thankful when they get home, able to focus on getting his drunken friend in bed. He strips Liam down, like he has done many a time before, and sits him on the end of his bed. He goes and gets a glass of water from the kitchen, forcing Liam to drink the whole thing before he allows him to lay down. He then refills the glass and sits it on Liam’s bedside table, knowing his friend would need it in the morning. 

He drinks his own glass of water as he strips down to his underwear and crawls in bed. He suddenly doesn't feel that drunk anymore as his thoughts take over once more. He falls into a fitful sleep with images of a curly haired boy dancing behind his eyelids. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and Comments are always welcome!  
> Follow me on my social media for updates or just to chat xx  
> Twitter: @Wicked_Archer  
> Tumblr: wicked-archer


	2. Uncomfortable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Niall come up with a plan for Harry to see Louis again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a [Spotify Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/mmbrabd/playlist/3K8GDQgXDwKVDLVF6h3H1T?si=sgO-djloQzmO81_jPnYdYQ%20rel=) that will be updated weekly with the songs represented as chapter titles as well as any other songs that are featured in each chapter.

  _I did it all to break_ _  
__every single preconceived notion that you have_ _  
__I did it all to shake_ _  
__every single one of your emotions and just to make you_ __  
Uncomfortable- Halestorm

Louis awakes the next morning with a raging headache and a very dry mouth. He rolls over to look at the clock which reads 8 am. He wants to die. For whatever reason when he drinks, he never sleeps very late the morning after. As he lays in bed, contemplating life, a rush of last night’s activities comes back to him. Like a montage in some ridiculous teen movie, he sees flashes of memories, most of which revolve around a green-eyed, curly- haired boy. Harry dancing. Harry laughing. Harry biting his full lips. Harry drinking from his solo cup. Touching Harry’s warm skin. Harry saying that he is good looking. Harry. Harry. _Harry_.

Louis rolls onto his back under the sheet and groans while rubbing his eyes. Even the harsh light of day does nothing to suppress his newest infatuation. He was hoping that it was just his drunken mind and desperation from not having gotten any in, well, months, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. With another groan, he remembers giving Harry his number. He certainly will not be the first to text him. Hell, if Harry were to text him first, Louis will probably ignore it.

Ignoring it has to be the answer to everything. Louis has always been the type of person who pushes everything unpleasant deep down and never lets it see the light of day. If he doesn’t give any time or energy to it, it will eventually go away. He does the same with emotions. It may not be the healthiest tactic, but it works for him.

Louis rolls over to grab his glass of water and gulps it down. His stomach doesn’t feel like it could handle anything solid right now, so he just turns on his TV and watches American Dad on Hulu until he hears Liam up and wandering about their apartment.

Liam. _Fuck_. Louis forgot about Liam and the comments he made last night when they were walking home. He really hopes Liam has forgotten them completely because he doesn’t think he will be able to face his friend’s sober questions. He stands up and throws some clothes on his body as he leaves the room in search of his roommate. He hears him in the kitchen. Before he makes his presence known, he takes a deep breath and sends up a silent prayer to whatever gods are listening.

“Hey, Li,” He greets. Liam is wearing nothing but a pair of joggers slung low on his hips. Louis doesn’t find him one bit attractive, even though he knows most women do with his ridiculous six pack and bulging biceps.

“Lou, could you not talk so loud?” Liam says tensely, clutching his head. It looks like he is making eggs and bacon. Thank the gods because Louis is suddenly fucking starving.

“Sorry. I’m using my normal voice though,” Louis shrugs as he sits down at the very small table in the corner of the room.

“I know. I’m just very hungover. I drank so much last night. Why didn’t you stop me?” Liam asks, glaring at his friend.

“Don’t blame this on me. Do you remember anything?” Louis has to know. He has to know if his friend remembers their conversation or Harry in general. He hates when people skirt around issues. He would rather face them head on or bury them deep down. This is one that he wouldn’t be able to bury since it involves his friend.

“Not much. I remember most of the night up until Niall forced me to play beer pong. That man can fucking drink. I don’t know how he does it, honestly.”

Louis was so wrapped up in Harry that night, he had no idea Liam disappeared to play beer pong. Fuck - he really was a terrible friend.

When Louis doesn’t reply, Liam goes on, “I remember you talking to Niall’s roommate. I can’t remember his name though.”

“Harry.” Louis’ mouth answers before his brain can stop him.

“Oh yeah, Harry. You two seemed to be getting along,” Liam recalls, sitting a plate of very greasy food in front of Louis. Louis is suddenly very thankful for the culinary skills of his roommate because he has none. If it wasn’t for Liam, he would probably starve. Liam gets a far away look in his eye, his brows furrowed, like he is trying to remember something.

Louis panics and changes the subject. “So, got anything planned today?”

 

____________

 

Harry is in that state between consciousness and unconsciousness where he can hear sounds, but can’t physically react to them when he feels a very large _thing_ land right on top of his stomach.

“Harrumph,” Harry groans, trying to protect his balls from the invasion.

“Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey,” Niall sing songs, repositioning himself so that his entire body is draped over Harry’s. How is he not hungover? Harry briefly wonders before he cracks open his eye then quickly shuts them again when the light physically hurts everything.

“What time is it?” Harry asks, attempting to put his hand over his eyes, but both are currently stuck under Niall’s body somewhere.

“About 10 am,” Niall replies cheerfully, and Harry groans. He is normally a morning person, but right now he seriously wants to smother his roommate with a pillow so he can get a few more hours of rest in the absolute darkness.

“What the fuck, Niall?” Harry asks, finally freeing his hands so he can put them over his face and not allow any of the offending light through his lids.

“Come on. Get up, lover boy,” Niall demands, attempting to remove Harry’s hands from his eyes. “I even went to Starbucks and brought you back a cheese Danish and an iced coffee because I am a good fucking person.”

“But my head hurts,” Harry pouts, refusing to remove his hands. He is stronger than Niall, after all.

“I brought you some water and ibuprofen,” Niall replies and even though Harry can’t see, he can definitely hear the smugness in his friend’s voice.

Once Harry takes the medication and gulps down the entire glass of water, he heads towards the living room where his breakfast is waiting for him on the coffee table. They watch Phineas and Ferb at a very low volume while Harry quietly eats his Danish and drinks half of his coffee. Niall seems to be able to sense his need to let the medication, caffeine, and food ease his headache before he speaks.

“So,” Niall starts once he sees that Harry is no longer squinting at the light. “I saw you were getting all close and chummy with that dude last night.”

“Louis,” Harry supplies, and suddenly all of his memories of last night came flooding back to him. They were all fuzzy, but one person in particular seems to be the focal point of them all: Louis. Louis with his blue eyes, long eyelashes, messy hair, tattoos and cheekbones that could cut glass.

“Yeah. That guy,” Niall continues as if Harry isn’t having his life flash before his eyes, “So do you like him?”

“Ni, I don’t even know if he’s into guys,” Harry replies, rubbing his eyes.

“Well, H, I got some bad news on that front,” Niall frowns.

“What?” Harry’s stomach drops at Niall’s sad tone.

“Well, while his roommate was drunk, I kind of asked him questions about Louis,” Niall says shyly.

“And?” Harry asks, wanting his friend to get to the point already.

“Well,” Niall starts again, “It seems that Louis is straight. Well, at least he has only dated women in the past.”

Harry releases a breath he didn’t really notice he was holding. He lets the words sink in. Louis is straight. _Fuck_. Of course he would start crushing on a straight guy.

“Fuck,” Harry echoes out loud the words in his mind. He leans back into the cushions and starts rubbing his eyes again. “Fuck.”

“Don’t be upset, H,” Niall comforts, putting a hand on Harry’s bicep and rubbing in soothing motions.

“I just,” Harry starts, looking at Niall now. “I just. I thought he was flirting with me. Am I crazy? He was flirting with me, right?”

Niall looks skeptical then sighs, “From where I was standing, it looked like he was flirting with you.” Niall acts as if he doesn't want to admit this fact. Maybe he is trying to protect Harry. This isn’t the first time Harry started liking a straight guy. His name was Andrew. While Andrew ended up fooling around with Harry, he refused to admit to having any feelings or even his own sexuality. It ended with the guy leaving a heartbroken Harry for a girl that his parents set him up with.

Harry shook that thought away. “Maybe he just needs a little guidance.”

“Harry. Don’t do this again,” Niall sighs, again, giving him a sad look. It is then that Harry knows his friend’s concern is based on what happened in the past.

“Do what? Come on, Ni, maybe the guy is confused about his sexuality. I have to help him. It wouldn’t be right if I didn’t,” Harry reasons, letting a smile take over his whole face. Niall still looks skeptical, so Harry adds, “He even gave me his number.”

Finally, Niall sighs. He’s been doing that a lot in the conversation. “Are you going to text him?”

“Yes. Eventually. But when? Like, I don’t wanna scare him away or anything, but I also don’t want him to forget me.”

“Yeah, that is a tricky situation,” Niall replies, staring off into the distance in thought. “I think you should text him Monday, maybe. Give him the weekend. If he is confused about his sexuality, then maybe it will give him time to think things through.

“Yeah, but how am I going to get him to meet up as friends?” Harry asks.

“Oh! I know! You can invite him to our show next Saturday,” Niall says, smiling.

“Great idea!” Harry exclaims, returning his friend’s smile.

“I can even invite Liam. That way, Louis will be kind of forced to go. We can’t let him just pretend that last night never happened.”

“Thanks, Ni! You’re the best,” Harry says, jumping onto his friend’s lap and enveloping him into a huge hug. Niall’s answering laugh rings throughout the apartment.

 

__________

 

Things are quiet and mostly back to normal by the end of the weekend. Saturday is spent laying around the house, playing video games with Liam. On Sunday, Louis works a morning shift at the Starbucks down the street from his apartment. He has been picking up extra shifts since he doesn't have classes to worry about. His shift was extremely busy, being that it was morning, so he wasn’t able to dwell on his Friday night activities. He hasn’t heard from Harry, and Louis can't decide if he is relieved or sad about the lack of communication.

Monday night, after another long shift at Starbucks, Louis is sitting on the couch with Liam, watching TV and eating takeout that Louis had picked up on his way home from work. Louis’ mind begins to wander back to Friday night. Most of his memories seem hazier the further removed he get from that night, but some things have stayed completely clear. Harry’s green eyes and wide mouth being among those things. Suddenly, his phone vibrates on the table in front of him.

Louis sits down his mostly finished food in favor of picking up his phone. He has a text from someone saved in his phone as a Banana emoji. Louis is confused for about half a second before it dawns on him that it is from Harry, and _fuck_. His heart immediately begins to feel like it is attempting to break through his rib cage as he sucks in a quick breath.

“Who is it?” Liam asks curiously when he sees Louis’ reaction. Louis needs to start getting better about masking his emotions around his friend. He usually has his guard down in front of Liam, but right now, that isn’t doing him any favors.

“Nobody,” Louis lies as he opens the notification. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Liam sigh. He knows Liam would drop the subject for now, sensing Louis’ reluctance to tell him anything.

The message on his phone was simple.

 **Harry:** Hiiiiii

Louis sits his phone down on his lap, screen down, and contemplates if he should reply to the text. On the one hand, he _really_ wants to see Harry again. He wants to talk to him and laugh with him. The guy, even being drunk, was good at keeping up with Louis which is a trait that is few and far between. On the other hand, Harry confuses the fuck out of him.

He tries to concentrate on the TV in front of him and keep his breathing steady even though, internally, he’s freaking the fuck out. He really wants to talk to Liam, but is scared of his friend’s reaction. He knows, logically, that Liam is perfectly accepting of gay people, but that does nothing to stamp out Louis rising fear.

 _Fuck_. Louis really wants to text Harry back. Since Louis has very little self-control, he picks up his phone again. He stares at the screen for a solid few minutes before finally opening up his messaging app and typing out a reply.  

 **Louis:** Hello

 _There,_ Louis thinks, _‘Hello’_ doesn’t say _‘Hey, because of you I am questioning my own identity’_. With a sigh, Louis sits his phone face down in his lap again. It isn’t even two seconds later when it vibrates again.

 **Harry:** How are you?

Small talk. Small talk, Louis can do. He also very much appreciates Harry’s good grammar even in text. He is the first to admit that he could be a bit of a Grammar Nazi.

 **Louis** : Good. Had a busy weekend working and stuff

 **Harry** : Oh, where do you work?

 **Louis** : Starbucks. I know it’s lame but it pays the bills

 **Harry** : That’s not lame. I work at a bakery actually. Coffee and pastries. A match made in heaven lol.

 **Louis** : Yeah. Which bakery?

 **Harry** : Baby Cakes

 **Harry** : I actually wanted to ask you something

 **Louis** : Yeah?

 **Harry** : On Saturday, Niall and I are playing a gig at The Gate. Do you and Liam wanna come?

Louis begins to panic again. He wasn’t planning on seeing Harry again, much less watching him perform. Just the thought of his deep slow voice singing is enough to give him a miniature heart attack. Before he is even able to think of a response, Liam’s voice breaks through his revere.

“Niall just asked if we wanted to go to his gig on Saturday. I told him we would.”

“Why in the fuck would you do that?” Louis doesn’t mean to snap, but his heart starts racing again.

Liam’s eyebrows raise all the way to his hairline in shock at Louis’ outburst. “I didn’t think it would be that big of a deal, man. Niall is cool as hell, and he’s a really good performer. I know you don’t have a shift that night, so I thought it would be fun. Is that a problem?”

“No. No problem.” Louis tries to go for nonchalant when he realizes that he doesn’t have a good excuse as to why it would be an issue, so he resigns himself to going. Maybe he will die within the next week. One could only hope. He sighs and picks up his phone.

 **Louis** : Yeah sounds fun. We will be there :)

He has no fucking idea why he added the smiley face to the end of the text, but there is nothing he can do about it now that he has already hit ‘send’. He could literally throw his phone against the wall, but Harry would still see the fucking smiley face.

 **Harry** : Awesome! I’m excited! I can’t wait to see you there :) xx

Louis’ breath hitches again at the kiss symbols at the end of his message. He doesn’t reply because he doesn’t know what to say. Maybe when he sees him again, it won’t be the same. Maybe he won’t be attracted to him at all, and he can forget that Friday night ever happened. Maybe.

 

__________

 

Louis spends the rest of the week exchanging texts with Harry. They don’t talk about anything in particular. Mostly he gets random pictures of Harry’s day while Louis sends funny memes he finds when he’s browsing the internet. If Louis smiles every time he sees a new text from Harry, he doesn’t let himself think too much about it. Harry has a very cheesy sense of humor that Louis can appreciate, yet he seems perfectly okay with Louis’ sarcastic, and a lot of the time, vulgar sense of humor. Their conversations have been mostly platonic. Harry’s texts do tend to have a flirtatious undertone, but Louis does his best not to return it.

Saturday night, Louis is in nothing but his underwear as he stands in front of his closet acting as if a nice outfit will appear out of nowhere. The problem is that Louis has no idea what one would wear to a bar called The Gate. He has never been there. Honestly, he isn’t much into bars seeing how overpriced their drinks usually are, especially at the bars near campus. He could make the same shit at home for half the cost.

“Hey, Lou, do I look alright?” Liam asks, stepping through Louis’ open bedroom door. He is wearing a pair of black skinny jeans hanging low on his hips, a blue t-shirt, and a backwards flat billed cap.

“You look like a bro,” Louis replies honestly.

“Is that bad?” Liam asks, confusion marring his features.

“I guess it depends on who you ask,” Louis shrugs, going back to just staring at his closet. Liam watches him for a few minutes before Louis finally gives up and whines, “I don’t know what to wear.” He dramatically flings himself on his bed, star fishing over the sheets.

“Just wear what you always wear out,” Liam suggests unhelpfully.

“Gee, Li, thanks for being helpful,” Louis says sarcastically, sitting up but leaving his posture to show his exasperation.

Liam slowly walks over to Louis’ closet and begins pulling things out at random and throwing them on the bed. “There. Wear that.”

Louis looks down at the black skinny jeans, white t-shirt, and an army green button up skeptically.

“Leave the green shirt unbuttoned,” Liam suggests before he just walks out the door.

Louis eyes the outfit suspiciously, as if it has all the answers to the questions that have been floating around in his head since Friday night. It doesn’t. He sighs and pulls the clothes on. After he rolls the sleeves on the shirt up, exposing his forearms and tattoos, he decides it doesn’t look that bad. He briefly debates about fixing his hair, but ultimately decides to put a little product in it and goes for the messy look.

He walks out of his bedroom to find Liam in the kitchen with two shot glasses already lined up, a cold bottle of Tequila sitting behind them.

“Pre-gaming,” Liam supplies by way of greeting.

They both lick the backs of their hands to get the salt to stick before they take the shot. The Tequila bites his tongue as it burns its way down his throat.

“Jesus, Li. You’re trying to kill me,” Louis says, coughing from the shot. Liam does not fucking mess around when it comes to pre-gaming because he was already refilling the shot glasses.

“Nah. You’ll be fine. May as well start getting drunk now because both of us know how expensive it is to buy drinks at the bar,” Liam reasons, handing Louis another full shot glass. They take two more shots each before Liam decides they have reached an acceptable level of tipsy.

The anxiety Louis has in his gut about the evening ahead is slowly being replaced with a warm, fuzzy feeling from the alcohol as they walk to The Gate. He doesn’t know what to expect, but when they get there, the place looks fairly crowded. Liam goes to the bar to order them some drinks while Louis tries to find a table close to the front, wanting a good view. He tells himself that it’s only in support of his new found friends, but knows, deep down, he doesn’t want to miss a moment of Harry’s performance.

Liam finds him, and he’s got two shots of an unknown liquor in one hand and two beers in the other. Louis and Liam both take the shot first. It goes down much smoother than the tequila, but it still burns like a mother fucker.

“Do you know their other two bandmates?” Louis asks, taking a sip of his beer. He can definitely feel the alcohol running through his veins.

“No. I know their names, but that’s about it. Niall said he would introduce us after the performance.”  Louis nods his head as someone gets up on the small stage.

“Hello everyone,” The man says, waving at the gathered crowd. “As many of you know, tonight we have a few people performing, so sit back and enjoy the music!”

Louis and Liam both clap as the person exits the stage. A curtain is pulled in front of the stage, blocking the view of the crowd. Music starts playing from the speaker system while the first group set up their equipment. It goes much like this for the first three performances. None of them are all that bad, but he was getting antsy waiting to see Harry.

Finally, after the third act, the curtain opens to reveal a tall figure standing up on the stage. Louis’ jaw drops when he takes him in. Harry is wearing what could only be described as a blouse. It is white with black tadpole looking designs all over it. It is also very sheer, and has a small bow tied around the collar. He’s only buttoned it about a quarter of the way up his chest, letting some of his tattoos peeking out. Louis can make out the dark outlines through the sheer material, but can’t exactly tell what they are.  Harry’s paired it with impossibly tight, black skinny jeans and heeled boots that make his legs look impossibly long. His hair looks extra curly as he uses one large ringed hand to push it back from his face. It is pointless really, since it just falls right back to the same spot. His eyes roam around the room, seemingly looking for somebody. When they land on Louis, they sparkle and he shoots him a small smile. Louis’ heart almost stops beating. If possible, Harry looks even more beautiful than he had Friday night.

“Hello, everyone,” Harry greets the crowd. His voice is exactly how Louis had remembered it, deep and slow. “Thank you all for coming out tonight. My name’s Harry Styles.” Everyone in the crowd goes wild at that, and Louis raises his eyebrows. It seems Harry is popular. Harry goes on, “Niall is over there on lead guitar, then we have Calum on bass, and last but certainly not least, Ashton on the drums.” Harry pauses to let the crowd clap for his bandmates. “We are Temporary Fix, and we will be performing for you tonight!”

Everyone in the crowd claps again, which gives Louis the impression that the band already has some fans in the area. Louis claps along with them as he tries very hard not to let the excitement show on his face, so Liam doesn’t get suspicious. He knows he isn’t masking it too well.

When Louis hears the beginning of _The Chain_ by Fleetwood Mac start, he is silently impressed. He and Harry have discussed music, but they didn’t really talk about what kind of music he plays. When he begins to sing, Louis is enthralled. Harry’s eyes are closed as if he is letting the music wash over him. His deep voice carries throughout the small bar, and for the first time tonight, it seems that everyone in the room is quiet. He sings with so much passion.

As soon as they finish the first song, everyone in the crowd erupts into applause then arry raises his giant hands above his head to silence everyone. “Thank you! We will be performing some more covers and an original song. We are the last show of the night, but please stay and talk with us afterwards. Up next, we have for you  Shania Twain’s _No One Needs to Know._ ”

Louis recognizes that it is a country song, but he has never heard it before in his life. Their version is definitely more on the side of rock, and he notices that Harry hasn’t changed the lyrics at all. He let the song describe a relationship with a man. Louis doesn't know for a fact that Harry is gay, but this sort of confirms it in his mind.

After that song, they switch to an upbeat and more rock version of Green Day’s American Idiot. For this song, Harry abandons his guitar in favor of jumping and dancing around stage as he sings the lyrics. Louis is actually kind of shocked since Green Day was one of his favorite bands as a teenager. Teen angst was his middle name, after all. Louis found himself smiling and singing along to the lyrics as Harry, Niall, and Cal roamed around the small stage. Harry is a natural and seems larger than life.

After the song ends, Harry puts his microphone back on the mic stand and addresses the crowd. “Our last song is an original that I wrote. It’s called Medicine. Thank you all for coming out! I hope you enjoyed it!”

The rest of the band began playing the intro and Louis is very intrigued. He is about to get a glimpse into Harry’s mind, and he isn’t sure if he is afraid or excited about it. Harry walks up to the mic and Louis swears Harry winks and smirks directly at him.

 _Here to take my medicine, take my medicine_   
_Treat you like a gentleman_   
_Give me that adrenaline, that adrenaline_   
_Think I’m gonna stick with you_   
_Here to take my medicine, take my medicine_   
_Rest it on your fingertips_   
_Up to your mouth, feeling it out_   
_Feeling it out_   
_I had a few got drunk on you and now I’m wasted_ _  
When I sleep, I’m gonna dream of how you…_

The entire crowd screams the word “Tasted” while Harry bites his lip and smiles. Louis’ eyebrows shoot into his hairline when it hits him that medicine is a metaphor for come. Harry is actually on stage singing about sucking dick, and Louis feels like there isn’t enough air in the bar.

 _If you go out tonight, I’m going out ‘cause I know you’re persuasive_   
_You got that salt, I got me an appetite; now I can taste it_   
_We're getting dizzy, oh, we're getting dizzy, oh_   
_La la la la la_  
 _You get me dizzy, oh, you get me dizzy, oh_

With that, Harry stumbles around stage as if he were dizzy. _Fuck_. He is referring to breath play. Having a dick so far down his throat that he can’t breathe properly. The image of Harry deep throating his dick flashes through Louis’ mind, making all of his blood rush south. Now he is getting dizzy from lack of oxygen to his brain.

 _Tingle running through my bones, fingers to my toes_   
_Tingle running through my bones_   
_The boys and the girls are in_   
_I mess around with him_   
_And I’m okay with it_   
_I’m coming down, I figured out I kind of like it_  
 _And when I sleep I’m gonna dream of how you…_

The lyrics trail off again, but this time the crowd screams “Ride it” as Harry made a riding motion up on stage. Louis is pretty sure Harry just sang about having an orgasm then falling asleep afterwards, and he has no idea what the fuck to do with this information. He pulls at the collar of his shirt even though it’s not tight and swallows. His throat is feeling incredibly dry, so he takes a drink of whatever mixed drink Liam had sat down in front of him after the last time he went to the bar.

 _If you go out tonight, I’m going out ‘cause I know you’re persuasive_   
_You got that salt, I got me an appetite; now I can taste it_   
_We're getting dizzy, oh, we're getting dizzy, oh_   
_La la la la la_   
_You get me dizzy, oh, you get me dizzy, oh_ _  
I had a few, got drunk on you and now I’m wasted_

The song pauses for a beat, and Louis thinks it may be over. He is wrong, very, very wrong. When it picks back up, Harry starts to grind and hump the mic stand with his eyes closed while he sings. Louis feels his dick twitch again, and his pants are becoming suspiciously tighter. He can see the beads of sweat trail down the column of Harry’s long neck, and he wants to lick it off.

 _If you go out tonight, I’m going out ‘cause I know you’re persuasive_   
_You got that salt, I got me an appetite; now I can taste it_   
_We're getting dizzy, oh, we're getting dizzy, oh_   
_La la la la la_   
_You get me dizzy, oh, you get me dizzy, oh_

When the crowd erupts into applause, Louis knows it is over. _Fucking finally._ Louis feels like he just lived through some kind of life changing experience when the curtain is drawn closed for a final time. Harry just sang about sucking and deep throating a dick, then someone riding him, then an orgasm. _What. The. Fuck._ His heart is beating way too fast, his palms are sweating, and his dick is hard. He has no idea what to do in this situation, and he feels he may panic at any moment. He hears a voice break through his haze. It takes a full minute for him to focus on Liam’s face, his expression somewhere between confusion and concern. Louis is right there with him.

“I’m sorry. What?” Louis asks, trying to look apologetic while he chugs the rest of his drink.

“I said, they were pretty good, right?” Liam gestures towards the stage.

“Oh yeah. They were awesome,” Louis says, and he genuinely means it. Aside from his crisis, he thought they were really good. They all had great stage presence and played a little something for everyone.

“Niall just texted me and said they were almost done packing up their equipment, and they would come find us. Wants to introduce us to Calum and Ashton.”

“Yeah. That sounds good,” Louis responds. “I’m going to go get another drink. Want anything?”

“Yeah, another beer please,” Liam request, smiling.

____________

Harry feels exhilarated like he often does once they go off stage. He feels even better tonight since he saw Louis in the crowd. He tried to keep an eye on him throughout the set. Somewhere around the middle of _Medicine_ , he saw Louis looked much paler and was subconsciously biting his lip as his gaze bore into Harry. It was a fucking miracle that Harry didn’t pop a boner on stage under the heated stare.

“So are we going to go find whatever boy you were eye fucking while on stage?” Ashton’s voice breaks through Harry’s thoughts.

“I wasn’t eye fucking anyone,” Harry says with a laugh, because he totally was.

“I am pretty sure you were,” Calum chimes in. “I’m the bass player. I don’t have a whole lot to do on stage, so I got to watch. You were definitely eye fucking the guy in front with brown hair.” At Harry’s shocked noise, Calum adds, “Don’t worry, man, he was eye fucking you right back.”

Harry feels a blush rise on his cheeks at his friend’s teasing.

“Come on, guys, leave him alone,” Niall intervenes, putting both hands on Harry’s shoulders and pulling him back a little. The others laugh as they finish packing everything up and putting it into Ashton’s SUV.

After they finish, they make their way back to the main area. Music is now playing over the speakers. Some kind of pop that people can dance to. Most of the tables have been moved to the side to allow for a dance floor, and some couples have already made their way onto it. Harry hopes he may be able to convince Louis to dance, but he isn’t holding his breath since Louis is apparently straight. Maybe a different day.

Niall spots Liam first, and he is alone. Harry glances around for any trace of Louis, but Louis is short and even at Harry’s advantaged height, he can’t find him. Niall and Liam exchange the ‘bro’ handshake/hug combo that makes Harry roll his eyes every time.

“Where’s Louis?” Harry asks after Niall introduced Liam to Ash and Cal, exchanging smiles and handshakes.

“Um, he went up to grab us another round of drinks a few minutes ago,” Liam answers, also glancing around for his friend.

As if on cue, Louis appears through the crowd with a beer in one hand and a mixed drink in the other. He smiles at Harry when they make eye contact, but he looks a bit fucked out. His pupils are blown, his hands are shaky, and his forehead has a light sheen of sweat. Harry reasons that it could be the alcohol as Louis sits the drinks down on the newly positioned table.

“Hi, Louis,” Harry greets, watching Louis sit down next to Liam. He thinks he sees Louis swipe a hand over his crotch as if to reposition himself,  but it happened so quickly, he can’t be sure.

“Hey, Harry. Niall,” Louis responds with a small wave. His voice sounds raspy and unsteady. For a brief moment Harry wonders if that is what it would sound like after sex. He feels his cock twitch in his pants at the thought.

“You okay?” Harry whispers into Louis’ ear, sitting down beside him.

A very small shiver goes over Louis’ skin before he rolls his eyes and runs a hand through his hair. He replies with a short “I’m fine.”

“Louis, these are our other band mates; Cal and Ash,” Niall cuts in, gesturing towards the other men gathered tightly around the table.

“Nice to meet you, man,” Calum says, shaking Louis’ hand.

“I think I’ve seen you in a few of my business lectures,” Ashton tells him as he also shakes Louis’ hand.

Louis squints at him for a few seconds before realization covers his features. “Yeah. I definitely think we have had classes together.”

They all dive into a conversation about summer plans. Harry finds Louis mesmerizing. He is quite literally the life of the table. He is funny and witty, teasing at all the appropriate moments. He is also loud. Really loud. Not afraid to raise his voice or to throw his head back to laugh at something someone else says. He talks very fast and gestures with his hands at an alarming rate, a direct contrast to Harry. Harry knows he talks slow, and while he also speaks with his hands, they move lazily around as his words flow from his mouth. Louis’ mind seems to work at light speed, and Harry is amazed. Louis has to be incredibly smart to have such a witty sense of humor. He finds himself just listening while he sips a drink, not really trying to contribute to the conversation.

As the night moves on, Harry feels Louis’ body go more slack with the alcohol. Their legs are touching from hip to foot, and every now and again he would feel Louis’ foot hook around his own. He doesn’t even know if Louis notices this. Their arms and shoulders are also touching, and Louis is so warm through both of their shirts. Harry could fall asleep just sitting beside him and listening to him speak. Harry’s eyes start to feel heavy, so he lays his head on Louis’ shoulder. He feels Louis stiffen under him, but, instead of removing Harry, he relaxes and continues to talk to the others.

Harry is kind of confused when he hears Ashton’s voice. Everyone comes into focus as he opens his eyes but doesn’t remove his head. He is pretty sure he dozed off on Louis’ shoulder. “Well, we are going to head out. It was nice meeting you, Louis. We need to do it again sometime. We’ll see you later,” Ashton says, standing up. Calum follows suit, and with a smile and a wave, they are gone.

Harry lifts his head when he notices Liam and Niall aren’t at the table, and he looks at Louis, confused.

“Liam and Niall were asked to dance by two girls,” Louis supplies with a smirk. “Did ya fall asleep?”

“I think I may have,” Harry says, feeling  embarrassed.

“Eh. Happens to the best of us,” Louis shrugs.

“You’re just so warm, and your voice is so soothing,” Harry says before he even thinks to clamp his mouth shut. His brain is still fuzzy from his mini nap.

Louis laughs, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Thanks.”

“So what did you think of the show?” Harry asks, changing the subject.

Louis gets a weird look on his face as if he is contemplating what to say. Finally, he goes with “It was really good actually. I didn’t know what to expect, but you all were awesome.”

“Thank you. I am really glad you guys came. I always get nervous when we perform original songs,” Harry says with a shy smile.

“Harold. Your song was about sucking dick,” Louis responds matter-of-factly, and Harry bursts out laughing, quickly putting a hand over his mouth to mask the sound. Louis’ small fingers wrap around his wrist and tug his hand down. “Don’t. I like your laugh.” He says simply, and Harry thinks he may quite literally die.

“So, did you like it? The song, I mean,” Harry asks, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. His cheeks ache from smiling and he knows his dimple is popping, but he doesn’t care.

Louis freezes for a second, like he was asked about the meaning of life instead of a question about a song. He seems to snap out of it and clears his throat to say, “Yes. I liked it a lot.” His voice is a touch rougher than it was not even two seconds ago.

Harry decides to flirt a little bit more. He does like to tease and Louis seems to be an easy target. “Was it that obvious that the song was about me sucking a cock?”

Louis sputters on his drink, but recovers quickly. “Nah. I’m just that good with metaphors.”

“Ah. You’re like the messiah of decoding songs, huh?” Harry asks which causes Louis’ eyes to crinkle with a laugh.

“Well, I mean, it was kind of obvious, Harold,” Louis responds, and Harry smiles at the nickname.

“Well, I really like sucking cock,” Harry says, acting nonchalant about it. He is trying to get Louis to think about Harry sucking his cock, so he doesn’t want to be eager.

Louis stiffens for a second before he relaxes and replies, “Can’t say I know the experience.”

“Ah,” Harry starts, and maybe it’s the alcohol or maybe he just likes poking people, so he adds, “You should try it sometime. It’s fun to get another person to squirm beneath you from just your mouth. Feeling the heaviness in the back of your throat as you swallow around it. Hearing the groans and moans of the other person that let you know you are doing a good job. When they pull your hair and fuck up into your throat, you worry about passing out from lack of oxygen, but it’s completely worth it when they come.”

Harry watches Louis’ throat bob with a dry swallow at his words. Louis’ now gripping his drink so hard, Harry fears the glass may shatter at any moment. When Louis looks at him, his eyes are slightly glazed, and he is biting his lip. He doesn’t say anything for a long while, just looking at Harry’s lips. Harry knows that he has gotten Louis to think about him giving him a blow job, and smirks in satisfaction.

___________

 

A shiver runs through Louis’ entire body at Harry’s words. He feels like he is suffocating. His skin is on fire where it’s still crammed beside Harry’s, even though the table has been empty for a while. His mouth feels incredibly dry as images of Harry’s big mouth wrapped around his dick start flashing at an alarming speed through his mind. He feels his dick twitch in his jeans.

He needs to run. He needs to get the fuck away from Harry and the confusion clouding his mind. He is far too drunk for this. So drunk, he almost wants to take Harry into the bathroom, force him to his knees, and have Harry show him exactly why he likes sucking dick so much. He looks down to see his knuckles are white from gripping the glass so hard, so he makes a physical effort to relax his hand. He lifts the glass to his lips, he knows he is shaking but he can’t stop his body’s reaction. He finishes the drink in one big gulp.

Finally, he meets Harry’s gaze, but not before his eyes flicker down to Harry’s smirking lips. The bastard knows exactly what he is doing to Louis and he wants to choke him, but Harry would probably be into that. He seems to be a kinky fucker. Great. Now images of choking Harry while Harry rides him are filtering through his mind. Fuck his overactive imagination. He is hard. So fucking hard, but he is in the middle of a goddamn bar with Harry fucking smirking at him.

Louis shakes himself and clears his throat. “I think I need to go.” His voice sounds foreign to his own ears. It is rough and raspy, moreso than his normal speaking voice.

“Okay. Do you want me to walk you home?” Harry asks. He looks a little hurt by Louis’ words, but Louis doesn’t really care at the moment.

“No. I think I’m capable of walking a few blocks. Tell Liam I went home. I’m not feeling good.”

“Oh. Okay,” Harry responds, sounding a bit defeated, so again, Louis tells himself that he doesn’t care. “Thanks again for coming out.”

“Yeah. I had a great time,” Louis replies and for the first time during this part of the conversation, it wasn’t a lie. He really did enjoy himself.

“Don’t worry about your tab, I’ll take care of it,” Harry says dismissively.

Louis’ brows draw in confusion. “You sure? We had a lot to drink.”

“Yeah. No worries. I got it.” Harry waves his hands in another dismissive gesture.

“Okay.” Louis is still skeptical. He stands up and adjusts himself in his jeans. Thankfully his raging hard-on has gone down quite a bit after the last few minutes of conversation. Harry definitely notices the adjustment but doesn’t comment, thank fuck.

He smiles at Louis and Louis kind of wants to melt. “Text me?”

“Yeah. Sure. See ya,” Louis says, and makes a beeline for the club’s exit. When he gets outside, the cool air is welcoming on his overheated skin. He takes a few deep breaths through his nose then starts walking towards his apartment. The conversation with Harry is playing on repeat through his mind during the short walk home.

Once in his apartment, Louis doesn’t bother turning on any lights as he heads straight for his room, shutting the door behind him. He strips down all of his clothes and lays between the cool sheets, trying to fall asleep, but images of Harry keeps dancing behind his eyelids. He is still drunk and very horny. He finally notices he has been rutting against the mattress to get some friction on his painfully hard dick.

He sighs and turns over onto his back, glaring at the offending appendage. He kicks off the sheets and reaches into his bedside night table for the lube he keeps for masturbation purposes. He tries not to think about anything as his lubed hand grips the base of his dick and slides upwards.

As he works himself over, images of Harry starts filtering through his mind. Harry grinding on the mic stand. Harry licking his puffy lips. Harry’s long fingers gripping the mic stand as he sings his filthy song. He imagines those same long fingers wrapping around his hard length. Louis begins moaning when he imagines Harry’s red lips wrapped around him while he sucks eagerly. His big green eyes boring into Louis as he puts his hands behind his back, relinquishing control. Louis begins fucking up into his hand harder, using his thumb to swipe the tip and twist his hand with every upstroke.

Louis is pretty sure he shouts Harry’s name as his come shoots all over his chest and hand. Ribbon after ribbon of the liquid coats him as he works himself through it, eyes rolling back into his head and hips coming off the bed. He lays there for a few seconds. His limbs feel heavy and numb. His mouth is dry and he’s got come drying on him, but he can’t find any fucks to give since he just had one of the best orgasms of his life.

After a few minutes, reality hits him like a freight train, and he suddenly feels a weird mixture of horrified and guilty. He just masturbated to images of a man. He just masturbated to thoughts of Harry. He quickly reaches for the tissues on his bedside table and hastily wipes the come off his chest and hand. He throws the tissues in the direction of the waste basket as if cleaning up the evidence will erase what he had just done.

His orgasm and the alcohol relaxes him, so he quickly falls asleep with images of Harry racing through his mind for the second time that week.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and Comments are always welcome!  
> Follow me on my social media for updates or just to chat xx  
> Twitter: @Wicked_Archer  
> Tumblr: wicked-archer


	3. Can I have A Kiss?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The four boys go out for lunch, then Harry and Louis get closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is also a [Spotify Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/mmbrabd/playlist/3K8GDQgXDwKVDLVF6h3H1T?si=sgO-djloQzmO81_jPnYdYQ%20rel=) that will be updated weekly with the songs represented as chapter titles as well as any other songs that are featured in each chapter.

  _Don't move  
_ _I want to remember you just like this  
_ _Don't move  
_ __It's only a breath or two between our lips- Kelly Clarkson

Louis wakes up the next morning to an incessant knocking on his door. His mouth feels dry, but his head doesn’t hurt, so he counts that as a win seeing as he was pretty wasted last night. “What?” Louis barks in the direction of the noise.

Liam must take that as an invitation to come in because he is peering through the door in the next moment. “Are you feeling any better? Harry said you weren’t feeling well, and that is why you went home kind of early last night. I brought you a glass of water,” Liam says, concern evident in his dark brown eyes. He comes all the way into the room and sits on the edge of the bed as Louis slowly makes his way into a sitting position. Louis kind of feels guilty for lying to his friend so he could go home and masturbate to images of Harry. But only kind of. 

“Thanks,” Louis says, taking the water and swallowing some down. “Yeah. I’m feeling better. I think I may have just drank too much.”

Liam seems to be okay with that excuse as he nods and pats Louis’ leg under the sheet. Louis looked around the room to make sure no evidence from last night’s activities could be found. He sees the tissues thrown on the floor near the trash can, but that doesn’t prove anything. He is paranoid that Liam can read it on his face. As if he has a big flashing neon sign above his head that says, “I may be a little gay.”

“You hungry?” Liam asks.

“Nah. I think I’m just going to get something before my shift at work. Shit, I need to get going soon,” Louis replies, looking at the clock and jumping out of bed.

“Yeah. That was part of the reason I came in to wake you up,” Liam chuckles as Louis starts pulling on random items of clothes he found on the floor that still fit with Starbucks’ dress code. He grabs his phone and notices a notification from Harry.

**Harry** : I jus wanted to tel yu agin I had a gret nite w/yu I am aso sligty drnk, sooooo dont mind me!

Louis had to read it a total of three times before he was able to decipher the text. He chuckles and puts the phone in his back pocket, making a mental note to text him back later. Louis knows he shouldn’t be fueling his desire, but maybe he is a masochist at heart.

“Who’s got you smiling this early in the morning?” Liam asks. He is still perched on the bed with a curious look on his face. Louis actually kind of forgot he was there.

“Harry,” Louis replies, not wanting to lie to his friend anymore today. While he’s a great liar, he still hates to do it. He honestly doesn’t see the point in lying, unless it’s to himself.

“Oh, you guys seem to be getting close. I am glad you’ve made a new friend,” Liam says innocently.

He has no idea, Louis thinks but doesn’t say, instead he says, “Oh, yeah. He is a nice guy. We have a lot in common.” Which isn’t a lie. They do have a fair bit in common, he just wants to do very  _ un- _ friendly things to him.

“Great. Niall said you guys would probably like each other.”

Like, seems to be the understatement of the century. He also has no idea if Harry really likes him or just likes fucking with him. Harry doesn’t seem to be the malicious type, that’s more his own M.O, but still Louis is so fucking confused about everything. He really thought this was going to go away when he was sober and the sun was out, but it seems to stay same.

___________

“Niall, I need an excuse to see Louis again,” Harry whines from his spot on the couch. Niall went into the kitchen to grab snack since the man always stays hungry.

“Don’t know what to tell ya, H,” Niall says, plopping down on the couch with a bag of chips in his hand.

“I’m afraid I fucked with him too much Saturday night. I haven't heard from him,” Harry admits, remembering some of the things he said that night, and Louis quickly leaving soon after. It was Monday, and he was getting worried. 

“Give him time. He’s probably still fairly confused,” Niall reasons, munching on some chips he pulled from the bag.

“I know. It’s just hard. I really like talking to him.” Harry knows he is being whiny, but he can’t help it.

“Maybe you should try to see him in the light of day. You know, when both of you are sober,” Niall suggests.

Harry takes a moment to mull over his friend’s idea, and ultimately decides it is a fairly good one. “Maybe I should suggest lunch or something like that.”

“Could work,” Niall replies, getting distracted by the TV which is playing an rerun of Southpark. It isn’t exactly Harry’s brand of humor, but Niall loves it.

“Will you go with me?” Harry asks, getting Niall’s attention by stealing a chip.

“H, Liam and I can’t always be a buffer,” Niall sighs.

“I know. I will owe you. I just don’t know if I could talk him into it the first time without having someone as a buffer, you know? He practically ran out the door after we were alone for 15 minutes.” Harry leaves out the part where he was explaining in great detail how to give a blow job. That is neither here nor there.

“Wait, you said he wasn’t feeling good.” Niall’s blue eyes are slit with his accusing tone.

“That is what he said, but it was bullshit. He panicked,” Harry tells his friend. Niall’s eyes get comically wide with the new information.

“So you’re getting to him,” Niall hmms, it was a statement not a question.

“Christ, Ni, you make it sound like I am trying to catch a criminal by making him confess.”

Niall’s laugh is loud and boisterous. “I’ll go with you,” Niall says once he calms down enough to speak.

“How about Saturday? I have an early shift at the bakery, but I should be done by noon. Maybe a late lunch?” Harry suggests.

“I’m free Saturday,” Niall says around the handful of chips he stuffed into his mouth .

“Okay, I’ll ask him,” Harry decides. As if on cue, Harry’s phone vibrates where it is sat in lap. The emoji for a peach pops up on the screen with a text.

**Louis** : Wow your grammar was super fucking bad in that last text. You must have been really shitfaced

_ Fuck _ . Harry doesn’t remember texting Louis that night, at all. He must have been wasted if he was drunk texting. He looks at the text above Louis’ recent message. He lets out a sigh of relief when he sees it wasn’t too terrible or incriminating.

**Harry** : Yeah, sorry about that. Took you long enough to reply though. I don’t usually text when I’m drunk

**Louis** : Sorry it took so long. I was late for work that morning and kind of forgot. Guess I am just special then :)

Okay, so Harry is getting flirty Louis today. He can handle flirty Louis. In fact, he likes flirty Louis since he is so witty. Harry found that his flirting was similar, all teasing and harmless jabs.

**Harry** : You are ;)

**Harry** : So are you working today?

**Louis** : Yeah. I am actually on break right now. 

**Harry** : Oh cool. I’m off today. What time are you done?

**Louis** : 7

**Louis** : Thankfully I don’t have to close. I just got a midday shift

Harry thinks about what he wants to say for a moment before he types out a response.

**Harry** : Maybe I’ll come visit :)

**Louis** : Maybe you will just distract me

Wait, what? He reads the message a dozen times before he actually believes Louis had sent it. He even double checks the icon for the person at the top. Definitely Louis. He types out several replies deleting each one before he settles on something almost as flirty.

**Harry** : A good distraction, I should hope

**Louis** : Possibly

What. The.  _ Fuck _ . This can’t be the same guy that ran away from the bar Saturday night as if he was on fire after a measly conversation about blow jobs. Louis was definitely flirting with him. He stands from the couch and grabs his keys and cell phone.

“Where the hell are you going?” Niall asks with raised eyebrows, surprised by Harry’s sudden movement.

“I’m going to Starbucks,” Harry answers with a smile.

“Um. Why? It’s like noon and you already had coffee.” Niall’s tone is suspicious.

“Fine, if you must know,” Harry says, walking to the front door with a roll of his eyes, “Louis is working. I wanna ask him in person about lunch on Saturday.”

“H,” Niall grabs his attention.

“Yeah?” Harry says, hand on the door knob.

“I know you are trying to seduce him and all,” Niall starts, a shit eating grin spreading across his features. “But you may want to consider putting pants on.”

Harry looks down, and sure enough, he is wearing a pair of boxer briefs in lieu of pants. He was so focused on seeing Louis, he forgot his personal rule of being as naked as he could be at all points in time.

“Fuck, Ni, why didn’t you say something sooner?” Harry asks. Niall just cackles in response as Harry makes his way to his room to grab a pair of jeans. He is still laughing when he emerges, so Harry flips him off as he walks out the door, with pants on this time, Niall’s loud laughter ringing in his ears.

Louis doesn’t work all that far away from Harry’s apartment, but he decides to drive anyway. It is not the closest Starbucks to his house, but he could walk to it if he wanted to. They have about ten Starbucks in the area, it is a college town after all. Harry unlocks his green Jeep Wrangler and slides into the driver’s seat. It’s warm but not hot out, so he decides to roll down the windows instead of turning the A/C on.

Before he knows it, he is pulling into the parking lot of Starbucks. It’s not crowded at all seeing as it is a Monday afternoon. Most of the students went home for the summer, so it was just the townies left, and they were mostly adults with real 9-5 jobs.

Harry walks through the entrance and hears Louis before he sees him. Louis’ loud voice carries as he speaks quickly to one of his co-workers. He seems to be talking about the show Saturday night, so Harry decides to eavesdrop.

“It was actually really cool,” Louis is saying. “They played a little something for everyone. They had great stage presence and the lead singer, Harry, was a natural on the stage. I swear to god it almost felt like a professional show.”

Harry’s heart warms with the comment. Louis really did think he was good. Although Louis doesn’t seem to the type to say something just to avoid hurting someone’s feelings, Harry had been a little worried that Louis told him that he enjoyed himself just to be nice. It is a relief knowing that he really did like the show.

“I’ve never really seen any of the local bands, but I trust your opinion. Maybe I will go out and see them next time they play. They sound pretty hot,” a girl says. She must be whoever Louis is talking to. Harry wonders if Louis had made a comment about their appearance before he walked in.

Harry doesn’t see, but he hears Louis pause. He can almost imagine him freezing with the comment, but finally he hears Louis say. “Yeah. I guess, from an objective standpoint.”

This is when Harry decides to makes his presence known. He walks up to the counter like he just came from outside and wasn’t listening the whole conversation. The girl points to him, and Louis turns around with a fake smile ready to greet the newest customer. Harry actually sees the moment he registers that it is him because his features morph into shock, then a genuine smile that makes his eyes crinkle.

“Hazza, what are you doing here?” He asks by way of greeting. Harry smiles. Another nickname. Louis seems the type to enjoy giving people nicknames, and he isn’t about to tell him to stop. He kind of likes it. Makes him feel like Louis actually likes him. Louis had now called him three nicknames, not that he is keeping count or anything.

“Told you I’d come visit,” Harry says, smiling at Louis. He is adorable in his little green apron and hat. Louis looks as if he wants to pull the hat off out of embarrassment.

“I didn’t actually think you were serious,” Louis admits, folding his hands on the counter. Harry sees the girl watching their interactions curiously.

“Yeah, well, I try to keep my promises,” Harry replies. The girl clears her throat.

“Oh, Harry, this is my co-worker Krista. Krista, this is my friend, Harry.” Louis rolls his eyes in Harry’s direction so that Krista couldn’t see. She comes up from behind Louis with a dazzling smile.

“Hi. Nice to meet you,” Harry says politely, returning her smile.

“Harry? As in the guy in the band you were telling me about?” Krista asks Louis, not taking her eyes from Harry. It makes him feel a little uncomfortable.

“That would be me,” Harry confirms with a small smile.

“Louis didn’t tell me how attractive you were. Silly him,” she says. She is flirting, and Harry kind of wants to tattoo ‘I’m gay’ in big bold letters across his forehead, so she would get the idea.

Harry glances at Louis. His thin firm lips were set in a harsh line. His fingertips are gripping the counter so hard, his knuckles began turning white. He looks pissed for a few seconds before a wicked grin spreads across his face. Harry feels a bit concerned, but focuses his attention back to Krista, who by now is leaning over the counter, attempting to give him a great view of her cleavage while she plays with her long blonde hair.

“Oh. Um. Thanks,” Harry replies, trying to stay polite and averting his gaze.

“Harry, why don’t you tell Krista here about the song you wrote. You know, the one about you sucking dick,” Louis says conversationally.

Harry chokes on his own saliva and immediately starts coughing. He may need his inhaler because he feels like he can’t breathe. His cheeks and chest grow increasingly warm. He can’t believe Louis just said that. When he looks at him in shock, Louis is just standing there with a smug smile on his face, looking at Krista. She stands up abruptly, almost knocking over the scanner in the process. She pulls up her shirt a bit while a pink tint begins to show through her layer of makeup and contour.

“Oh. Oh! I see,” she rushes out with wide eyes, looking more embarrassed by the minute. She is avoiding Harry’s gaze which is making Louis smile like the Cheshire Cat. “Um, Louis, I’m going to go to the back to do some inventory. Do you think you can handle his order?” Louis doesn’t have time to reply before Krista is practically running to the back.

“Sorry ‘bout that,” Louis apologizes, and if Harry didn’t know any better, he would think Louis was jealous. “What can I getcha?”

Harry still can’t believe what just happened, and has to shake himself and blink a few times to order. “Can I just have a Grande Serious Strawberry Frap, please?”

“You come to Starbucks and don’t order coffee? You are the worst kind of people,” Louis says with a laugh.

“Hey!” Harry exclaims, offended. “I already had coffee today. I don’t want to get jittery.” He knows he is pouting a bit, but that’s okay because Louis rolls his eyes with an endeared smile on his face as he grabs a cup.

Louis goes to work making his desired drink. “Wait, don’t I have to pay?” Harry asks, realizing they had never exchanged money.

“Eh. It’s okay. The manager isn’t here, and I am an assistant manager. I doubt Krista will say anything since she is still embarrassed,” Louis remarks, scooping ice and putting it in a blender with one quick motion.

“You sure? I don’t mind paying,” Harry says, and really he doesn’t mind. He is kind of loaded. When his grandfather died, he left him and his sister a substantial amount of money. He didn’t like spending it unless it was something that he needed, like a car. He prefers to work for his money, if he can, but occasionally splurges on nice clothes or paying the bar tab for a pretty boy with long eyelashes and high cheekbones. He’s only human.  

Louis waves him off as he pours the cold mixture into the cup. He held up the whipped cream with his eyebrows raised in question. With a smirk, Harry answers, “Always.”

Louis licks his lips, and Harry knows that he got the sexual innuendo from that comment. What did Louis expect? He practically walked into it. When he’s done decorating his drink, he slides it across the counter to Harry.

“Come on. I’ll go sit with you. We are pretty dead in here anyway. I can always get up or call for Krista if someone happens to come in. Krista has the drive through headset, so she will hear if someone pulls up,” Louis says, walking around the counter. He removes his apron and hat, smoothing down his shirt and running his fingers through his now flat hair. They decide on a table by the window.

When they sit down, Harry pops the cap off his drink, as per usual. He likes to eat the whipped cream separately. Louis watches him curiously as he dips two long fingers into the sweet treat and brings them up to his lips. He sees Louis swallow as he begins sucking the white cream off his fingers, drawing his fingers out of his lips with a pop.

Louis physically shakes himself and squirms a bit in his seat. Harry repeats the process, but this time with his fingers still in his mouth, he asks, “So how’s your day been so far?”

“Pretty boring. It has been super slow here. Didn’t your mother ever teach you not talk with your mouth full?” Louis asks.

“Well, if you haven’t noticed, I have quite the large mouth. It takes a lot to fill it up to the point that I can’t speak,” Harry replies with a smile as he takes more off the top of his drink and guides it into his mouth. He adds a few slides and some rather loud sucking noises this time.

“Maybe you just haven’t found anything big enough to fill it up, yet,” Louis remarks with a bit of sass, but his eyes are completely focused on Harry’s fingers in his mouth.

“Gonna, help me out with that, Lou?” The nickname just slips out, but Louis doesn’t seem to mind or even notice. His gaze is still locked on Harry’s mouth. Conversations with Louis, Harry has learned, are a lot like playing chess. You never know what he is going to say, but you always have to be a few steps ahead, which is nearly impossible given how intelligent Louis is. Harry feels like he just won this round.

Harry slips the lid back onto his drink when the whipped cream has been mostly eaten off the top. He carefully opens his straw and slips it into the frosty drink, pushing and pulling it up and down a few times. Louis tracks the motion with his eyes. A pink tongue darting out to lick his lips. Harry is very much enjoying this whole ‘tease the straight boy’ game he’s got going on. Maybe it is a secret kink or something.

When he realizes Louis has no intention of answering his last question, he changes the subject. “So, was gonna ask you, do you and Liam want to have lunch on Saturday? You know, hang out when we aren’t all wasted?”

Louis thinks about it for a second, looking up into the air like he is mentally looking at his schedule. “I don’t know about Li, but I’m free for a late lunch. I think I have a very early morning shift here, which is usually done by noon.”

Harry smiles because he has the same shift that day. “Great. I will have Niall text Liam to invite him. I would, but I don’t actually think I have his number,” Harry says, sucking the thick liquid of the frappe through his straw.

“I doubt Liam will have anything to do, he usually doesn’t work weekends,” Louis says, bouncing his leg under the table. Harry has noticed that Louis is never still. He is always doing something physical whether it be fidgeting with something in his hands or tapping his foot or even gently rocking back and forth, he always stays moving.

“Great,” Harry responds, smiling. He is very pleased their plan of lunch seems to be coming together.

Louis lets the silence linger for awhile like he is contemplating something. Seeming to make a decision, he says, “Liam and I were gonna stay at our place and watch movies and drink Saturday night. You and Niall are welcome to join us.” Harry’s heart feels like it is about to burst from his chest with the realization that Louis initiated a meeting first.

“Yeah. That sounds fun,” Harry responds quickly. Too quickly, so he adds, “I actually kind of prefer staying in and drinking rather than going out.”

Right then, a person comes through the door shattering their bubble. “Well, duty calls,” Louis points out, standing up and putting his hat and apron back on.

“Yeah, I suppose I should get going,” Harry says, standing up as well.

“I’ll text you,” Louis promises with a wave. He then turns towards the lady that just walked in with a fake smile. As Harry leaves, his smile is very real.

___________

As the week goes on, Louis finds himself texting Harry more and more. Most of their conversations are still only inch deep though, which he is okay with. Louis will answer any question someone wants to ask, but they usually either don’t ask the right questions or aren’t specific enough, allowing him to get around certain areas he may not really want to talk about. The picture updates about Harry’s day or the funny memes from Louis continue until Friday night.

Louis is sitting alone in his living room watching TV and just relaxing when his phone vibrates. He figures it is Harry, so he picks up to look at the screen, and, okay, that’s super random.

**Harry** : Let’s play 20 questions

**Louis** : Why?

**Harry** : I would like to get to know more about you and 20 questions seems to be the easiest way

**Louis** : What are the rules?

**Harry** : Well they are self-explanatory lol. We ask each other questions and the other has to answer truthfully

Louis thinks about it for a moment. He would like to get to know Harry better, and this seems to be a good way to do so however this would also allow Harry to get to know him. While Louis is confident in his ability to get around questions, he is still a little bit worried. He has walls for a reason. He doesn’t like it when people jump over them or break them down completely. He doesn’t like letting people in. 

**Louis** : Fine. Do you have to answer your own question, too?

**Harry** : Yes it’s only fair, that way you can’t just steal the other person’s question lol

**Louis** : Okay, I’m game lol

**Harry** : I’ll start. What’s your favorite color?

**Louis** : Lame.

**Louis** : It’s green

**Harry** : That’s not a lame question! It’s legit. Got to start with something easy lol

**Harry** : Mine’s rainbow, btw :)

**Louis** : You could’ve started off with a deeper question. Your loss :P

**Louis** : And of course it’s rainbow even though that’s not a color

**Harry** : It is too! And I will keep that in mind ;)

This continues for the rest of the night and far more than 20 questions. Other conversation has been woven throughout the questions as they debate topics from their answers. Louis learns that Harry has one older sister, Gemma, whom he is very close with. His parents are divorced and his mom remarried. Louis tells Harry about his six siblings, his new step-dad, Dan, and the chaos that is his life at home. Harry had squealed (well sent a gif of a person squealing) when he found out that Louis’ youngest siblings were still babies. Harry, apparently, loves babies. They argue about genres of movies, Harry preferring romantic comedies while Louis prefers raunchy comedies. They agree on favorite books, Harry Potter, of course.

Louis finds they really do have a lot in common, and if they don’t have it in common, he enjoys debating with Harry about it. Harry doesn’t get upset when Louis’ opinions differ from his own, seeming to take the laid back approach. Most of the conversation stays PG, with flirty text sprinkled in. On more than one occasion, Louis found himself flirting without even realizing it, and he kind of hates himself because he is afraid he is leading Harry on. He hasn’t explicitly told him that he is straight, but he is going to. This weekend, in person.

He has known Harry for a full two weeks now, but it feels like so much longer. They just click. He isn’t sure how to explain it. Very few people can actually keep up with him, but Harry not only keeps up with him, he catches him off guard. Louis likes him. He doesn’t know what that means, but it’s a fact. He really likes Harry. Aside from whatever sexual chemistry they have between them, he genuinely likes him and wants to hang out with him more.

As soon as Louis’ shift is finished on Saturday, he bolts out the door before anyone can ask him to stay any longer. He quickly walks home and jumps in the shower. He doesn’t want to meet his friends smelling like steamed milk and shitty sandwiches.

After the fastest shower of his life, he dries off and glances at the clock on his bedside table. Shit, he doesn’t have enough time to actually contemplate what he is going to wear. He pulls on a pair of tight skinny jeans and a loose fitting  _ Metallica  _ T-shirt. He looks into the mirror and adjusts his shirt so it dips over his collar bones, and shows a very small peek of his chest tattoo. He doesn’t have time to do anything to his hair, so he lets it go to dry on his way. He shoves his feet into a pair of Vans and is out the door in record time.

Since Louis doesn’t have a car, they picked a location that he could walk to. Liam, Harry, and Niall were meeting him there since they all seemed to be coming from different locations; Harry from work, Liam from the gym, and Niall, well, Louis had no idea where Niall was coming from.

Louis gets to the restaurant and immediately sees his friends seated in the outside dining area. Liam spots him first, smiles, and waves him over.  He walks over to their table and sees a seat has been left for him between Harry and Liam.

After he greets them all and sits down, he is finally able to take in Harry’s appearance. Louis can’t see what he is wearing on his long legs, but would assume some version of skinny jeans, since that is what he seems to wear 90% of the time. He is wearing a plain black t-shirt with something that looks suspiciously like flour dusted over the material. His hair is pulled back up into a bun. Normally, Louis hates ‘man-buns’ but finds that on Harry, he doesn’t mind them as much. Maybe it’s because they allow for Harry’s long neck and strong jawline to be exposed. Harry smiles at him, and props his sunglasses on his head. The sun is shining on him just right, making his green eyes sparkle, and Louis thinks he looks like some sort of god.

“So what are you all getting?” Niall is the first one to speak after the initial greetings were exchanged. Right, they are here to eat, not stare at Harry. He picks up his menu and begins scanning the items. When the waitress comes to their table, Niall orders a burger (rare), Liam orders a grilled chicken wrap (gag), Harry orders a salad (of course), and Louis decides on a burger (well done, thank you) and cheese fries.

Once their orders are placed, conversation flows freely. Louis and Niall are bored to death when Harry and Liam begin talking about their workout routines. Harry enjoys running, yoga, and boxing (weirdly enough). Now all Louis can think about is a sweaty Harry kicking someone’s ass.

“What do you do to stay in shape?” Harry asks, snapping Louis back into the conversation at hand.

“Lou is allergic to working out,” Liam smirks, taking a sip of his iced tea.

“Liam, that is simply not true. I just think working out is stupid,” Louis says dismissively.

“You don’t work out? How do you stay so fit?” Harry asks, eyes roaming all over Louis’ body. Louis feels vulnerable and exposed under his attention, for some reason.

“Louis is one of those people you hate who can eat whatever he wants but never gains a pound,” Liam answers for him with a roll of his eyes.

“I’ll have you know, I also play soccer in my spare time,” Louis returns, acting offended by Liam’s statement.

“That’s cool. I never really was much for sports,” Harry replies.

“Maybe I’ll teach you sometime. If you can get those long giraffe legs of yours to cooperate, of course,” Louis says.

Harry looks around for a moment then leans into Louis’ ear to whisper. “I can get these legs to do a lot more if you want me to show you sometime.” His grin is filthy when he leans back into his chair. Louis’ skin prickles; he can still feel Harry’s breath on his neck. Thankfully, the food arrives and he is saved from responding.

They talk animatedly throughout lunch. Harry keeps stealing Louis’ cheese covered fries, and Louis keeps slapping his hand away. In retaliation, Louis takes sips of Harry’s peach iced tea when he isn’t paying attention, preferring it over his own choice of water. He knows Harry sees him doing it though, he just never chastises him for his behavior. Every now and again, he would feel Harry’s leg or ankle brush against his own, but Harry acts like he doesn’t know he is doing it. Liam kept shooting him funny looks, like he knows something weird is going on, but otherwise doesn’t comment on the playful banter and flirtation between them. Louis thinks they all work well as a group, and he enjoys Niall’s company almost as much as he enjoys Harry’s. Niall is loud and funny, with a big heart. He seems like the kind of person that would be loyal to a fault and honest.

“So, are you guys still coming over tonight to chill?” Liam asks once they’ve all paid their bills.

“Yeah, we will be there,” Niall answers, leaning back and patting his stomach as if that will help the digestion process.

“Awesome,” Liam responds.

“Lou, text me your address, so we will know where to go,” Harry says. Louis has noticed Harry using the nickname a few times, and has decided that he is okay with it.

“Sure thing, Haz,” Louis replies pulling his phone from his pocket. He has a missed call from his mom, a few texts from his sisters, and an Instagram notification, but ignores all of it to send Harry his address. He still hasn’t figured out what possessed him to invite Niall and Harry over to their place tonight. He was just so irritated with Krista’s disgusting behavior towards Harry, he had some stupid desire to lay claim. That’s what friends do, right?

They all say their goodbyes, and head to their respective homes. Louis catches a ride with Liam so he doesn’t have to walk back. Liam doesn’t mention Louis’ flirting with Harry on the car ride back to their apartment, and Louis is forever grateful for small favors.

__________

Harry closes his eyes and tries to block out the sound of his friend puking his guts out in the bathroom for the third time since they got home just under three hours ago. They were supposed to head over to Louis and Liam’s apartment soonish, but it doesn’t seem like that is happening.

“Niall, you okay? Do you need me to take you to the hospital or something?” Harry asks, concerned. He gently knocks on the door of the bathroom before he cracks it open to see Niall draped over the toilet. He is pale and shaking. He looks miserable.

“No, I think I just have food poisoning,” Niall responds, cracking one eye open to look at Harry.

“You shouldn’t have gotten your burger rare,” Harry chastises, but Niall looks too sick to care, so he adds, “I’m not going tonight. I am going to stay here and take care of you.”

“No. Don’t you dare,” Niall says, and for the first time in three hours, he looks a bit like his normal self. He lifts his head from its resting spot on the toilet, narrows his eyes, and points his finger at Harry, “I will be damned if you cancel plans to hang out with Louis over me. I will actually kill you. You are going tonight, even if I have to drag you there myself. Which you probably don’t want since I’m likely to puke in your car at this rate.”

Harry sighs. He can tell that his friend is not going to budge on this. “At least let me take care of you while I’m still here.”

“If you insist,” Niall says with a smile. Harry rolls his eyes, and helps his friend off of the bathroom floor. He gets Niall to the couch and grabs him some water from the kitchen. He sits a small trash can in front of him in the event he can’t make it to the bathroom on time. Harry then sets about the kitchen making Niall some homemade chicken noodle soup. It will be easy on his stomach in case he wants to eat later.

Once the soup is done, he places it in a container and puts in the fridge. “Ni, I made you some soup. It’s in the fridge, just pop it in the microwave when you’re ready to eat it.”

“Thank you, Harry. You’re the best. You’re going to make some man a great husband one day,” Niall compliments, smiling. He’s got a bit of color back in his cheeks, so Harry thinks he may be feeling a bit better.

“Do you think you’ll be okay while I shower? I still smell like a bakery,” Harry says, looking down at his shirt.

“Yeah, I think the worst has passed,” Niall replies, yawning.

Harry jumps in the shower to scrub the day off of him. He is so tired. He had wanted to nap before he left, but he couldn’t with Niall being sick. He finds a clean pair of skinny jeans and a T-shirt with a rainbow design.

“Alright, Ni, I don’t know when I’ll be back. Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?” Harry asks as he comes back into the living room. Harry thinks he may have woken his friend up, and he feels guilty.

“No. Leave. I’m fine,” Niall assures, blinking sleepily.

“Okay. Promise to text me if you need anything. I will come home right away.” Harry grabs the blanket they keep on the chair and draps it over his friend’s body. Niall smiles up at him as Harry kisses him on the forehead. He really hates leaving Niall sick.

“I will. I promise. Good luck, H,” Niall says as Harry walks out the door.

Once he gets into his Jeep, he types Louis’ address into his GPS. He has a vague idea of where it is, but likes having his GPS as a backup. The drive only takes five minutes and Harry easily finds a spot labeled ‘visitor parking’. He finds his way to the correct building and walks up a flight of stairs to the second floor.

He takes a deep breath, suddenly nervous, before he knocks soundly on the door. He hears movement from the other side, and a loud bang. He chuckles when he hears Louis yell out “Fuck!” before he is greeted with a soft looking man opening the door.

“Sorry. I fell asleep on the couch,” Louis admits by way of greeting, his voice raspy from slumber. He looks comfortable in a pair of loose fitting joggers, a t-shirt, and bare feet. His hair is still soft like it was at lunch earlier, and he looks sleepy. Harry just wants to cuddle him. He thinks this is his favorite version of Louis thus far.

“Oh. I’m sorry, I should have texted,” Harry apologizes realizing his mistake.

“Nah, it’s fine. Come in,” Louis remarks, stepping out of the doorway allowing Harry entrance. Their place is small, but cozy. The living room is messy, but in a well-lived-in way. There are shoes haphazardly lined by the door, so Harry takes his off to follow suit. There are pictures all over the walls and bookshelf. Harry resists the urge to walk up and inspect every single one of them.

“Where’s Niall?” Louis asks, looking down at Harry’s feet. “Oh, nice socks by the way.”

Harry blushes as he looks down at his mismatched socks. One is bright green and white with a bright pink octopus while the other is just bright pink. He wiggles his toes in response. “Niall got food poisoning from the burger. Poor guy was puking his guts up earlier. I felt so bad for him, but he insisted I come anyway.”

A look of worry crosses Louis’ features, and Harry became that much more endeared by him, if possible. “I hope he’s okay.”

“He seemed to be feeling better when I left. I made him some chicken noodle soup, but he looked like he was about to fall asleep,” Harry replies.

“Oh, you cook?” Louis asks. He was looking at Harry with an odd expression that Harry isn’t sure he had ever seen before.

“Yeah. I love to cook honestly,” Harry answers. They were still awkwardly standing in the living room, and he has no idea where Liam is.

Seeming to read his mind, Louis’ eyes widen and gestures towards the couch with a quickly worded, “Please sit down.”

After both Harry and Louis sit down on the couch, on opposite ends with ample room between them, Harry looks around one more time. “Where’s Liam?”

“Oh. He got called into work at the last minute,” Louis answers. “So I guess it’s just us. That alright?”

“Yes,” Harry responds, too quickly. He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and counts to five to help calm himself down. “That’s fine by me.”

“Good,” Louis says, but he looks nervous. His posture is stiff, and he keeps rubbing his hands on his joggers as if his palms were sweaty. Harry is about to say that he will just leave, not wanting to make Louis uncomfortable, but instead Louis smiles at him. It doesn’t quite reach his eyes, but he says, “I was gonna order pizza. What kind of toppings do you like?”

Harry lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and returns Louis’ smile. “I’m not picky. I will eat whatever.”

Louis pulls a laptop from under the couch and starts placing their order. Harry notices, for the first time, that the TV is on in front of them. It is a show Harry doesn’t recognize, so he lets his eyes filter around the room again. He is just so curious about Louis’ life. He is so hard to get to know and even harder to read. Like Louis would answer whatever he was asked, but Harry still feels like there are walls up. He wants to take a sledge hammer to them.

“So, you want a tour?” Louis asks, shutting his laptop and looking at Harry. Harry has to physically stop himself from jumping out of his seat and yelling ‘YES’. Instead, he nods as if he isn’t excited to possibly see Louis’ room.

Louis stands up and Harry follows suit. “It isn’t much, but this is the kitchen, then at the end of that hallway is the bathroom. This is my room and then Liam’s is right there,” he informs, pointing to both closed doors.

“Not gonna show me around your room? Afraid I’ll see your sex swing and secret stash of porn?” Harry asks with a smirk.

“Harold, this is the 21 st century. I get all of my porn off the internet. I am not some uncivilized caveman,” Louis says in a sophisticated tone. Harry bursts out laughing, and quickly covers his mouth out of habit. Louis gently slaps his wrist. “I told you not to do that.”

Harry is confused for a second before he remembers Louis telling him that he likes his laugh the night of the show. He honestly didn’t think Louis would remember that. They made their way back to the couch.

“So I got wine, beer, vodka, and water. What do you prefer?” Louis offers before sitting down.

“I’ll just have a water for now. Maybe some wine after the pizza,” Harry responds. Louis shrugs and walks towards the kitchen coming back with a glass of water for Harry and a beer for himself.

“What do you want to watch?” Louis asks, sitting down on the couch again and plopping his feet up on the coffee table. This time he sits a bit closer to Harry. He is glad that Louis is getting more comfortable. He was worried that it was going to be awkward. He starts flicking through Netflix.

“Nothing scary, please,” Harry request.

“Awe. Don’t be a pussy,” Louis jokes, poking Harry in the stomach then in the ribs. 

“I am not! Gemma used to torture me with scary movies when I was young or read me those stupid Goosebumps books. It seriously scarred me for life!” Harry eclaims, giggling under Louis’ incessant fingers trying to grab the offending appendages. When he succeeds, Louis quickly pulls away as if Harry burned him. His laughter dies and the smile disappears from his face.

“Fine,” he says with an eye roll, smiling again, but it’s not the same as before. Louis chooses Bring It On, and at Harry’s shocked expression, he defends his choice with, “What? I live with like a dozen women. Of course I am going to enjoy chick flicks. Don’t look so surprised.”

An hour and half later, Louis and Harry had eaten their way through almost an entire pizza. Empty beer bottles and a wine glass sat on the coffee table as Harry and Louis argued about the ending to the movie while  _ Mickey You’re So Fine _ , played in the background. Harry thought the Torres should have won, but Louis argued it was too cliché. Much to Harry’s pleasure, they had gotten much closer throughout the movie. Now their knees were touching and sometimes their thighs, depending on their movements. Harry felt slightly tipsy and happy.

“Got an idea if you’re up for it,” Louis says with a mischievous grin.

Harry is skeptical. He has known Louis for a whole two weeks, and he knows when he’s got that look on his face, nothing good can come of it. Harry also is aware that Louis could probably convince him to build a ladder to Mars if he just smiled and batted those long eyelashes in his direction. Harry was already fucked, so he shrugs and replies, “Yeah, I’m game for anything.”

“That’s what I like to hear,” Louis exclaims, jumping off the couch and disappearing into the hallway. A few minutes later, Louis returns triumphantly, holding up a baggy full of weed, a lighter, and a bowl.

“Have you ever smoked?” Louis asks, sitting the items down on the couch then grabbing Harry’s empty wine glass and going into the kitchen. 

“Yeah. Once or twice. I sometimes have breathing issues, so I have to be careful,” Harry responds, hearing Louis rummaging around in the kitchen. He doesn’t know why he didn’t just tell him that he has asthma, but the moment has passed. Louis comes back with a freshly opened beer and full wine glass. He hands the glass to Harry who accepts it with a small ‘Thank you’.

“We don’t have to, if you don’t want,” Louis offers, returning to his seat. His thigh pressing into Harry sends a shockwave through his system.

“I’m good,” Harry assures, smiling at Louis. He is definitely tipsy, and it is making him want to kiss Louis. He won’t, though. He feels like Louis needs to make the first move. He watches as Louis expertly packs the bowl.

“You get first hit. You’re the guest after all.” Louis smiles, handing Harry the bowl and the lighter. They take turns until all the green has turned to ash, and they are both stoned and tipsy. Harry has almost finished his glass of wine because he constantly used it to relieve the burning in his throat from the weed.

“You know what I like to watch when I’m stoned?” Louis asks, even though it doesn’t really feel like a question. His eyes are so squinted, Harry can barely make out the blue. Louis is barely moving, not even fidgeting or rocking in place, and his speech pattern is slower than Harry has ever heard it. He briefly wonders if Louis feels like his entire being has slowed down, because that would have to be odd for Louis given that he is always moving. 

“What?” Harry replies. He is so relaxed and suddenly so fucking sleepy.

Louis just smiles and moves through Netflix on the TV looking for whatever it is he wants to watch, “Ah hah!” Louis finally announces triumphantly. Harry looks up to see Bob Ross starting a painting on the screen. Harry starts giggling. He isn’t sure why, but he finds it hilarious that Louis likes to watch Bob Ross when he is stoned. Louis starts laughing, too, although Harry isn’t sure why either.

Harry’s arms feel heavy, and his head feels like it may just float off his body at any moment. He puts his hand on Louis’ arm, feeling as though it anchors him to the Earth. After a few minutes (it really could be hours, but Harry has no concept of time) he lets his head rest on Louis’ shoulder and closes his eyes.

“Can I ask you a question, Hazza?” Louis’ soft voice breaks into his subconscious. Harry has no idea how long he had been asleep however he definitely knows he is still stoned, and Louis’ shoulder makes the best pillow.

“Humm.” Louis sounds serious, so Harry feels like he has to reply even though the idea of speaking is exhausting.

“You’re into guys, right?” Comes Louis’ question. He sounds hesitant and unsure of himself which is very unlike Louis.

Harry’s head snaps up to look at Louis, exhaustion leaving his limbs like smoke in the wind. Louis is avoiding his gaze and staring intently at the painting Bob has almost completed. It is a mountain scene with a cabin. It looks peaceful and serene and suddenly Harry understands why Louis likes watching this show when he is stoned. Harry thought he may have been imagining the question, until Louis finally turns to him, waiting for an answer.

“Yes,” Harry finally settles on, because it is really all he can think to say. Louis looks contemplative. Like he wants to ask more questions, but is afraid so Harry adds, “It’s okay to ask me questions, you know. I don’t mind.”

Louis seems to be battling with himself for few long moments. Harry wonders if he is actually going to ask anything else when he turns around on the couch to face Harry. Harry does the same, facing towards Louis with their knees touching. He wants to make sure Louis has his full attention. “How did you know?”

“Well...” Harry is far too high for this, but if this is what gets Louis talking then he will deal. He knows his speech is even slower than normal, but he continues, “I had always been a weird kid. I’m not saying that all gay people are weird, or whatever, but I was super weird.” For some reason, that felt relevant. 

“That’s hard to imagine,” Louis chimes in, a soft smile on his face.

Harry laughs, “Yeah, anyways, in like high school, I liked girls, but not in the way my friends did. To me they were just friends. Someone to talk to and help me paint my nails or whatever. I guess I knew the same way a straight person knows they are straight. I was not sexually attracted to women.”

“So, you’ve never been attracted to women?” Louis asks.

“Not really, no. I had a fake girlfriend for a little while before I couldn’t take it any longer and came out to my sister.” Harry remembers the day so well. He was so upset about feeling like he was hiding who he was from the people he loved. One night, Gemma was painting his nails when he blurted out that he was gay. He started crying, afraid she would hate him, but instead she hugged him and told him she loved him no matter what. With her support, he came out to his mom next.

“Oh,” Louis responds, looking far away.

Harry could feel Louis shutting off so he reassures him. “There are plenty of people out there that don’t fall into one category or the other.”

Louis’ gaze lands on him again. “What do you mean?”

“Well, there is asexual which means you don’t have a physical attraction to anyone, pansexual which means you are attracted to someone’s personality, bisexual which means you are attracted to both males and females, and many, many more. That isn’t even getting into transgender or genderqueer,” Harry explains. He has no idea how he just explained that being high and kind of drunk, so he gives himself a mental pat on the back. He didn’t miss the way Louis’ facial features changed at the mention of bisexual.

“So you fall into the category of gay?”

“I don’t believe anyone truly falls into one category or the other. Sexuality isn’t black and white. It is fluid. You can’t help who you love or who you are attracted to. Love is love.”

“But how did you  _ know _ ?” Louis emphasises the last word. He looks confused and frustrated. His hands are balled up into small fists resting on his thighs. Harry would give anything to know what is going on in his mind right then and there.

“I don’t know, Lou,” Harry says honestly. Louis kind of deflates so he quickly adds, “I try not to question it though. What’s so wrong with be attracted to someone of the same sex? Like I said before, you like who you like. Why does it need a label or definition?”

In Harry’s state of mind, he didn’t notice during his explanation that Louis’ face began getting closer to his. They are only a few inches apart now, and Harry freezes. He thinks Louis is going to kiss him, but he doesn’t want to make the first move. He wants Louis to do this on his own and of his own free will. Louis’ mouth comes even closer to his. He can feel Louis shallow breaths ghost across his own lips, and it takes every ounce of self-control not close the distance between them. Louis darts out a light pink tongue to wet his lips and draws nearer. 

Right as he thinks Louis is going to close the distance, he hears a phone go off. Louis seems to snap out of his daze and jumps off the couch like he has been electrocuted. He looks at Harry like he doesn't know him. His features morph into hurt and confusion; he looks terrified. Harry wants to grab him and hug him, but he doesn't. He just pulls himself in a standing position to face Louis.

They stare at each other for what feels like hours before Louis licks his lips and clears his throat. He starts hugging himself and looks down, not meeting Harry’s eyes. “I have to go.”

“Lou, please don’t,” Harry starts, but Louis is already grabbing his phone. Harry tries to remain calm and reasons. “This is your apartment. I can go, but I think we should talk.”

“I don’t want to fucking talk,” Louis snaps, his voice is getting louder and cracking. His head falls between his shoulders as he runs his fingers through his messy hair, pulling hard. 

“We don’t have to,” Harry tries again, holding up his hands in what he hopes is a non-threatening gesture. He desperately wants to reach out to Louis, grab his hands to stop him from hurting himself, but he restrains, not wanting to make the situation worse. “Just please don’t go.”

“Don’t you fucking get it, Harry?” Louis is yelling now. His hands are shaking uncontrollably and his breath is coming ragged. His voice is cracked with his last question, and Harry can see tears gathering in his beautiful blue eyes. Harry aches to hug him and tell him everything is going to be alright. He knows he needs to keep his distance though. He feels his own tears stinging as he tries to blink them away. 

“Get what, Lou?” He asks, trying to keep his voice soft and steady. He feels very sober right now.

“I’m straight!” Louis screams. The resounding slam of the door echoes throughout the apartment as Harry stands there, stunned.

He can feel hot tears streaming down his cheeks as he stares at the door Louis just slammed in his face. He wants to push Louis, but he doesn’t think he will break. He hates himself at that very moment. He never wanted to hurt Louis. He is beginning to care about him more than he wants to admit right now. His legs give out from under him as he collapses to the floor, a sob escaping his chest. Everything is blue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and Comments are always welcome!  
> Follow me on my social media for updates or just to chat xx  
> Twitter: @Wicked_Archer  
> Tumblr: wicked-archer


	4. Colors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Liam have a discussion while Harry deals with the aftermath of his and Louis' argument.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is also a [Spotify Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/mmbrabd/playlist/3K8GDQgXDwKVDLVF6h3H1T?si=sgO-djloQzmO81_jPnYdYQ%20rel=) that will be updated weekly with the songs represented as chapter titles as well as any other songs that are featured in each chapter.

 

_ Everything is gray _ __   
_ His hair, his smoke, his dreams _ __   
_ And now he so devoid of color _ __   
_ He don’t know what it means _ _   
_ __ And he’s blue- Halsey 

Louis barely registers the slam of the door over the blood rushing through his ears and their conversation repeating over and over in his head, like a broken record with no end in sight.

_ Bisexual which means you are attracted to both males and females. _

He feels like he can’t breathe, as if something heavy is sitting squarely on his chest and the walls of the hallway outside of his apartment are closing in around him.

_ Sexuality isn’t black and white. _

His eyes sting with unshed tears.

_ What’s so wrong with be attracted to someone of the same sex? _

He needs to get outside and get away from the boy he almost kissed. The boy he desperately wanted to kiss.

_ Why does it need a label or definition? _

He can feel his limbs begin to shake as he tries to control his breathing and heart rate. His vision feels cloudy and unfocused as he clutches his chest, wanting to rip out his own heart.

_ You can’t help who you love or who you are attracted to. _

He feels as though his own panic is choking him. He lets his shaky legs carry him in the general direction of the exit.

_ Love is love. _

When he gets outside, he breathes in the fresh air as deeply as his lungs will allow. He refuses to cry. Louis hates crying, because he feels it shows weakness on his part. Crying solves nothing. Crying won’t fix his turbulent thoughts or his desire to kiss Harry. Crying certainly won’t fix the argument he had just had with someone who was quickly becoming a close friend, maybe more. Harry. He looked so hurt and confused. He didn’t deserve that. 

He needs to walk and a cigarette. He quit last year, but when he gets nervous or upset, he really wants one. Liam and his mother will probably kill him if they find out, but he shrugs and goes into a gas station to buy a pack and a lighter. When he gets out, he lights up a cigarette from the pack and begins walking. The physical exercise and the cool night air may help clear his head, so he starts in a direction with no destination. He hears his phone text alert go off, but he ignores it. He knows it’s Harry, but he can’t talk to him right now. He doesn’t even know how to explain what is going on in his own head.

Louis has no idea how long he had been walking when he comes across the local park not too far from his apartment. He has smoked almost three cigarettes in a row, and feels a bit more calm. The nicotine in his system is soothing, and it gives his hands something to do. He puts out the third cigarette and throws the butt in a nearby trash can. 

He sits down on a bench and looks up into the night sky, as if the stars themselves could give him the answers he is seeking. He sucks in a few deep breaths before he decides that he can’t figure this out on his own. He needs help. He decides to talk to Liam about everything soon. What he does know is that he will not be able to get Harry out of his head. He won’t be able to forget their almost kiss. He wants a real kiss. 

With one last deep breath, he resolves to go back home. He takes the long way to clear his mind even more, and hopes that he won’t return to find Harry still there. He quietly opens the door to his apartment and lets out a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding when he sees it is empty. It looks like Harry has even cleaned up their mess before he left. The wine glass was in the sink, the pizza box and beer bottles were in the trash, and his bowl had been cleaned and sat on the coffee table. He is too good for Louis, especially after how Louis had treated him tonight. 

Everything in the room reminded Louis of Harry and their conversation. Their almost kiss. He runs his fingers through his messy hair again and pulls hard. He just needs to feel something… a physical manifestation of the pain and pressure in his chest. He grabs the bowl and bag of weed and puts it away in his room. He doesn’t even change out of his clothes before he collapses on the bed, curls up into a tight ball, and finally begins to cry, his sobs echoing throughout the room.

 

___________

 

Four days. Four days is apparently Liam’s max amount of time he will put up with Louis’ shit. It had been four days since his fight with Harry when Liam burst into Louis’ room demanding to know what was wrong. Louis, for the most part, has ignored everyone. Harry has sent several text messages and has even tried to call a few times. Louis locked himself in his room only coming out for work, the bathroom, and the very occasional meal. He ignored Liam’s questions and worried gaze the entire time.

He knows he needs to talk to Liam about everything, but how the fuck does he even start a conversation like that? Saying ‘Liam, I’m having a crisis about my sexuality. I think I really want penis. Harry’s penis to be precise,’ isn’t something that is easily brought into an everyday conversation. Louis looks at Liam, his features etched with concern, and sighs. He shouldn’t be worrying his friend like this.

“Come on, Lou, talk to me,” Liam pleads, sitting down on the end of Louis’ bed.

Louis knows he looks a mess. He feels distant. Like he is underwater. Everything he hears and sees is distorted, and he can’t quite break the surface, no matter how hard he reaches for the dimmed light. He blinks at Liam for a few minutes before he sighs and says, “Okay, but you have to promise not to judge.” His voice is rough with disuse, so he clears his throat.

“You know I would never judge,” Liam insists, placing a warm hand on Louis’ folded knee. Louis flinches, but doesn’t pull away from the touch.  

“I don’t even know where to begin,” Louis says, already feeling defeated.

“Is it about Harry?” Liam asks after taking a deep breath, like he didn’t want to be the one to bring it up.

Louis is shocked. He didn’t think Liam noticed that there was anything going on with Harry. “How did you know?”

“Well he texted me a few times to check on you. Says he is worried, but wouldn’t say why,” Liam answers, rubbing soothing circles on Louis knee.

“We had a fight,” Louis explains. When Liam stays silent, urging him to go on, he adds, “I’m just so confused, Li.”

Now Liam looks thoroughly perplexed. Louis knows he isn’t doing a good job at explaining himself, but he doesn’t know how. “About what?”

“About everything!” Louis shouts out of frustration. He has always struggled with communicating his feelings. When he sees Liam flinch at his outburst, he drops his head into his hands, pulling at his hair. He needs the distraction because he feels like he may cry, again.

“You need to be a bit more specific, Lou,” Liam says, gently drawing Louis attention back to him.

“My sexuality,” Louis whispers. It’s the first time he’s said it out loud, and feels the need to hide his face in his hands once more.

“Your what?” Liam asks, leaning closer to his distraught friend, attempting to hear his answer. He reaches one hand out to pull Louis’s hands from his face.

“My sexuality, Li,” Louis says again, his voice cracking.

Liam’s brown eyes go even softer, but he doesn’t look surprised. “You like Harry. Like  _ like _ him.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement. He says it like an observation. How one would observe that the sky is blue or the grass is green.

“How did you know?” Louis asks for the second time that day, fixing his friend with a teary gaze.

“I don’t know, Lou. You text him all the time, and I always know when you’re texting him because you have this soft smile on your face. You look happy. When you look at him, it’s like nobody else exists. I’ve seen you crush on someone before, and it’s not hard to tell that you like him.” At Louis’ surprised expression he adds with a small smile, “Come on. I have known you forever. Give me more credit than that.”

Louis doesn’t return his smile, instead, he looks down at his hands in lap, picking at his already mangled fingernail bed as he asks his next question. The question that has been haunting him since he met Harry. “You don’t hate me?” His voice is small and uncertain.

“What? Louis, I could never hate you. Ever. You’re my best friend. I don’t care who you are attracted to or whatever. None of that matters to me,” Liam declares fiercely, placing a tentative hand on Louis’ bicep, rubbing it soothingly.

“What about my other friends? What will they say?” Louis asks the question out loud, but he isn’t really looking for an answer. Just voicing what is in his head.

“If they don’t accept it, then you need new friends,” Liam states decisively, and Louis really wants to hug him.

“I don’t know, Li. I don’t know if I can do it,” Louis says, finally looking up again, but he feels as if a weight has been lifted off his shoulders. As if, for the first time in almost three weeks, he can breathe. He has finally broken through the surface of his haze.

“Why not? If you like him, I think you should explore it. You won’t know until you do. It’s eating you up, Lou. Who knows? You may kiss him and not even like it,” Liam reasons. His worried expression is back, but Louis can tell he is trying to approach this with logic, which usually works for when trying to persuade Louis.

“Or I may kiss him and really like it,” Louis replies cynically, as if it is the worst case scenario.

“Yeah, and? Isn’t that the point? To explore. You and Harry are great together. I have seen the way you interact with him. You don’t even tease him like you tease your friends. Fuck, Lou, you let him get away with stealing your cheese fries. You would have stabbed me with a fork if I had even so much as thought to try that,” Liam says with a chuckle.

For the first time in the conversation, Louis smiles, “Being with him, it’s just something that I wanna try.”

“Then try it. Just don’t lead Harry on. He seems like a nice guy,” Liam advises.

“Okay. I will talk to him. He has been texting and calling me nonstop since our argument,” Louis sighs.

“What did you argue about anyways?” Liam questions tentatively.  

“We were really  _ really  _ stoned and tipsy,” Louis starts, embarrassment heating his cheeks because he knows that isn’t an excuse for his behavior, “I was asking him questions about his sexuality, you know, for learning purposes. He was telling me about how he knew he was gay and the first person he told. He was saying all of this stuff about how nobody really falls into a category of completely gay or completely straight. It is all a gray area. He was explaining bisexuality and saying that love is love. You can’t help who you are attracted to. I almost kissed him, Li, but my phone went off and broke the moment. When I realized what I was doing, I panicked. I pretty much yelled at him about how I’m straight then ran from the apartment.”

Liam visibly winced at Louis’ confession. “Wow. You need to talk to him, man.”

“I know,” Louis sighs, feeling defeated again. He feels horrible about his treatment of Harry. “I want to do it in person, though. Maybe I should go to his place. Will you give me Niall’s number?”

“Yeah, man. I’ll give it to you. Come on, you need to get out of this room. Let’s go to the movies or something, my treat,” Liam says, clapping Louis’ knee and standing up. “But first, you need to shower. You reek, man.” Liam laughs, but Louis knows he is at least somewhat serious. Louis really does need to shower. 

Louis stands up with him, feeling better than he has in days. He knows everything will be alright, as long as he can speak to Harry. Maybe Harry will understand his desire to try, but not date or anything like that. Just fool around. Explore. He smiles at Liam, as he exits his room to allow Louis to change out of the clothes he has been wearing for the greater part of four days and take a shower. Liam is such a good friend.

 

____________

 

It has been one week since their argument, and he hasn’t heard a single peep from Louis. One fucking week. One week of crying on and off. One week of worrying. One week of Niall trying to help him through it. He has no idea why this is affecting him so much. He has only known Louis a short amount of time, but he feels connected to him somehow. Like they were destined to meet or something, he knows it sounds ridiculous and cheesy, but it is what it is. He just really likes him, as both a friend and potential boyfriend. He likes his mind, his sense of humor, and he really thinks he would like his body, if Harry was able to get him out of his baggy clothes. Well, his shirts were usually baggy, but his jeans are tight, and Harry has had fantasies revolving around Louis’ big ass.

Two days ago, Liam texted him saying that Louis was alright, and he finally got him to talk however that was all Harry was able to get out of the other man. He just said that Louis would talk to Harry when he was ready. He feels so relieved that Louis is okay, but he wants to talk to and see him so badly. He never wanted to lose their friendship with all of this. Without Louis, his life just seemed so gray. He misses Louis’ texted memes that highlight his sort of fucked up sense of humor. He misses his laugh and his smile. He misses talking to him and hearing his voice. He really misses teasing him and the flirting they had always done. Louis brought color into his world that he didn’t know was missing until Louis was gone. Again, he knows that is a ridiculous notion when he has only known the man for three weeks now, but it’s true.

Harry sighs from his spot on the couch, wishing Niall didn’t have to work today. He could really use a distraction and  _ Friends _ on Netflix wasn’t helping right now. So he does what he always does when his mind won’t stop, he writes. He goes to his rooms and grabs his guitar and journal. He has been working on a song since his fight with Louis. He works on it for a few hours before he is satisfied with the lyrics and melody, deciding to bring it up at their next practice in a few days.

He feels like a terrible band mate. During their last two practices this week, he has been of no help. His voice has been fucked up from all the crying, and he just didn’t have it in him to care. He lost his passion when he fought with Louis. Thankfully Ashton, Calum, and Niall were understanding about everything. Ashton and Calum didn’t quite know the entire story or Harry’s past with straight boys, but they at least understood why he was off his game lately. Hopefully his new song would give him some of the passion back he has been lacking all week and show his bandmates that he still loves music.

After putting his guitar away, Harry looks wearily around the room. He needs to clean. He has been so sad lately that he has seriously neglected his housework duties. Niall never cleans, so Harry usually does it, not minding it at all. He likes being domestic. He loves cooking and cleaning. It is a great distraction from his everyday life.

Once Harry has cleaned the whole apartment, he decides to bake some chocolate chip cookies. He measures and mixes the ingredients carefully from his own recipe. He then put them in the oven to bake. While they are baking, Harry cleans up the mess he made in the kitchen, not wanting to give himself more than a few seconds alone with his thoughts. Once the cookies are finished, he lays them on the rack to cool.

Harry then decides to go to the grocery store. They don’t really need to go grocery shopping, but it may help distract him from Louis. Everything has been about Louis since he met the man. He can’t get him out of his head. He leaves his freshly baked cookies, realizing he didn’t really want to eat them, having not had much of an appetite lately, and goes to the bathroom to shower. He takes a long hot shower then pulls on a pair of skinny jeans and a Hawaiian shirt. The June sun looks like it is shining for the first time in days, so he grabs his sunglasses, wallet, keys, and cell phone and is out the door.

He walks down the steps and opens the main door to their building, but there is some resistance. He realizes that he has hit someone with the door and rushes out to make sure they are okay, “Oops. Are you alright? I didn’t mean…” His sentence trails off when he realizes that the person he has hit is Louis.

Louis, with his long lashes, soft brown hair, freckles, tan skin and tattooed arms. He looks tired, but his eyes are still bright. He has some three-day old scruff on his cheeks and chin, making him look even more handsome. Harry has to physically stop himself from wrapping him into his own body and never letting go. He has missed him. It’s then he notices Louis is smoking a cigarette. Normally, cigarettes are a huge turn off for Harry, but fuck did Louis make them look devastating. His firm lips puckered around the filter, sucking in then releasing gray smoke from his lungs. It is borderline obscene. 

“Hi,” Louis greets with a small smile. He must notice Harry looking at the cigarette, so he stomps it out on the ground and explains. “I started smoking in high school. Terrible habit. I quit last year, but I still sometimes crave it when I’m nervous.”

Harry just stares at him with his mouth open. He can’t quite believe that Louis has shown up at his apartment. Oh right, Louis is speaking to him, but he has no idea what to say, so he responds with the first question he can think of. “How do you know where I live?”  

Louis’ laugh chimes through the air between them, and fuck did he miss that sound and his smile. The smile that crinkles his eyes in the cutest possible way. “I got Niall’s number from Liam and asked him. Hope that’s okay. I just wanted to talk to you in person.”

“That little shit,” Harry says, more to himself, but Louis looks panicked, therefore he hurries to clarify. “I don’t mind. I just can’t believe he didn’t tell me.”

Louis shrugs, “Are you going out?”

Harry looks down at the keys in his hand and shakes his head. “I mean, I was gonna run to the grocery store, but I don’t have to.”

“Can I come up?” Louis asks, looking down at his feet shuffling them on the ground. His voice is small and hesitant as he shoves his hands into his tight pockets.

“Yeah, of course,” Harry says, still not fully able to believe Louis is in front of him. He is at his apartment getting ready to go inside. Harry still wants to hug him but instead goes through the main door with Louis right behind him.

 

____________

 

Louis’ stomach is in knots as Harry leads him to his apartment. He takes a few deep breaths, concentrating on not emptying the contents of his stomach. He has never felt this nervous to talk to someone before. He feels embarrassed about how he acted last time he saw him. He didn’t want to do this over text, but he regretted that decision immediately when Harry hit him with the door.

Harry looks tired. His eyes are puffy, lips bitten red, and his posture is turned inwards, like he is nervous. His feet are pigeon-toed as he climbs the stairs, but  _ fuck _ he still look so good. A week apart did not stamp out Louis’ desire to kiss his pretty red lips and run his fingers through his curls. It was even worse because now Louis wants to hug him. He has this fierce need to protect him, even if he is protecting him from himself.

“Here we are.” Harry’s voice shatters his thoughts as he unlocks the door. The first thing Louis notices as he steps inside is that it smells like a bakery. The aroma makes Louis realize he hasn’t really eaten properly all week long. Harry and Niall’s apartment is large, way bigger than his own, and clean. Harry toed off his shoes, so Louis does the same. He glances down and sees Harry is wearing mismatched socks again. He is wearing a sock with a rainbow design on his right foot and a light blue sock with clouds on his left. Cute.

That’s the thing about Harry. Louis finds him so fucking endearing. The way he covers his laugh. The way he scrunches his nose when he’s attempting to lie or feels uncomfortable in a situation. His sense of humor. He is a such a dork, but Louis likes him. He has missed him so much it physically hurts.

“So,” Harry says, swinging his long arms to clap his hands together, still standing in the entrance, looking at Louis with big green eyes. The tension between them is palpable. Louis doesn’t even know where to begin. Harry lets out a nervous chuckle and looks down at his feet. “This is awkward.”

Louis just laughs. That’s all he can do. He starts laughing and doesn’t stop until Harry joins in. They both laugh like idiots in the hallway until tears are streaming down their cheeks. Neither of them could say why they are laughing, but they are. Louis thinks it is just one of those situations where there is simply nothing else you can do besides laugh.

“It smells so good in here,” Louis says in an attempt to veer away from the topic they need to talk about.

“Yeah, I just finished a batch of homemade cookies. Do you want one?” Harry responds, wiping the last of tears from his eyes.

“Yeah. I’d love some,” Louis says as he follows Harry into their large kitchen. Sure enough, chocolate chip cookies were laid out on the counter like some kind of gift sent from the gods. Louis’ mouth waters just from looking at them. Harry gestures towards them telling Louis to take one, so he chooses the one that looks like it has the most chip pieces. Louis bites into the delicious treat and involuntarily lets out a small moan at the taste. Harry smiles at him as he chews, looking somewhere between endeared and nervous.

“These are really good,” Louis swallows, and offers Harry a smile. Harry’s responding smile lights up his entire face, and Louis decides he never wants to see Harry frown ever again. Certainly not frown because something he had done.

“Thank you. It’s my own recipe,” Harry replies as Louis pops the rest of the cookie into his mouth.

“That’s so cool. I can’t even boil water without setting the place on fire,” Louis tells him around a mouth full of cookie. Harry chuckles at his impressive show of manners.

“Do you wanna go to the living room and sit down?” Harry asks. Louis can tell that his nerves have returned full force, but he feels helpless to stop it. His own anxiety is clawing at his throat telling him to run and never look back.

“Yeah,” Louis says, following Harry into the spacious living room. He sits down with Harry on the couch, purposefully positioning himself so their legs are touching. He doesn’t want Harry to think that he doesn’t want to touch him or for him to think that he makes Louis feel uncomfortable.

“So,” Louis starts, taking a deep breath. He begins fidgeting with his nail beds. It is a habit he has had since he was young. His fingers are mangled from where he has picked at them over the past week. He starts to pick again because of his nerves when he feels a large warm hand on his own, stopping his motions. Christ, one of Harry’s hands can envelope both of his own. Harry makes him feel small, he realizes. He looks up to find Harry’s kind, green eyes boring into his own.

“Stop. Your hands look pretty fucked up. That looks painful. Don’t hurt yourself. Let me go get some bandages.” Before Louis can protest Harry jumps off the couch and returns a moment later with a first aid kit. Louis stays quiet as Harry opens the kit and removes some bandages and ointment. He watches as Harry carefully picks up his hands and inspects his fingers, seemingly deciding which ones need bandages and which do not. His hands are warm and soothing. After another pause, Harry starts with his thumb. With his brows drawn together in concentration, Harry gently dabs some ointment on the inflamed area then tenderly wraps it in a bandage. He treats each of his other fingers with the same amount gentle care, as if Louis is made of glass. Two hands and five bandages later, Harry packs up the kit and sits it on the coffee table then gives Louis another bright smile, “There. All bandaged up. Try not to pick anymore.”

“Thank you,” Louis says. His voice is soft, and he feels cared for in a way that he hasn’t in a very long time. His mom took care of him, of course, but he is the eldest of seven children. She and his step dad worked a lot, so he was helping her raise his sisters from a very young age. He is the one that took care of people, not the other way around. Louis decides, though, that he doesn’t mind being on the receiving end every now and again.

“Look, Harry,” Louis tries to start again, rubbing his sweaty palms on his pant legs. “I wanted to apologize for last Saturday night.”

“Why?” Harry looks genuinely confused. “I should be the one apologizing. I pushed you too much. I shouldn’t have teased you so much when I thought you were straight.”

Harry thought he was straight? Hmm, that was news to him. He just assumed Harry believed he was also into men. “No. I should be apologizing. I shouldn’t have yelled then just left you in my apartment like that. I was just so confused. Fuck, Haz, you confuse me so much, so I panicked. You wouldn’t have been able to push me if I didn’t want to be pushed. I’m stubborn like that.”

“I didn’t mean to confuse you,” Harry says, then looks down at his clasped hands, scrunching his nose and smiling as he looks back up. “Well I kind of did, but I didn’t think you would get so upset.”

“I knew it!” Louis exclaims, backhanding Harry’s bicep with wide eyes. “I fucking knew you were fucking with me!”

“Ow,” Harry whines, rubbing his bicep. “Maybe just a tiny bit.” He holds up his thumb and index fingers to indicate how small the amount was.

“Anyways, I’m sorry. I really am. I also shouldn’t have ignored your multiple attempts of contacting me afterwards. It was childish and silly. It’s just that,” Louis pauses, trying to think of the best way to phrase his next statement. With a sigh, he just puts it all out there. “Ever since I met you at that party three weeks ago, I have been questioning everything I thought I knew about myself. Like I saw you dancing, and I was immediately attracted to you, but I shouldn’t have been. I thought I was straight. I thought I was only attracted to women then you show up and tilt my entire fucking world on its axis. Then the tilting continues for the next two weeks. I found myself flirting with you when I wasn’t supposed to be. I looked forward to your stupid text messages and just seeing you. Fuck, Haz, after your show I was so worked up, I went home and wanked while I imagined you sucking my dick.”

At his last statement, Harry’s eyes go wide and his cheeks go red. Louis continues without letting him interrupt his explanation. “Don’t look so surprised, you knew what you were doing,” Louis says, not in an accusing manner, and with a chuckle, he continues. “I was so curious about you. I was curious about this attraction. Us. I couldn’t stop thinking about kissing you or licking that vein in your neck that pops when you sing. So by the time last Saturday rolled around, the world I built around myself was completely upside down and collapsing around me. I didn’t know right from left, and I certainly didn’t know up from down. Then we were both fucked up, and I desperately wanted to kiss you. I freaked, so I ran.”

“Wow, Lou. Why didn’t you tell me? You seriously could have talked to me. I’ve been through something similar. You shouldn’t have gone through that alone,” Harry replies once he senses Louis is finished with his speech. Louis feels a hundred times better after he let all of that off his chest.

Louis shrugs at Harry’s response. “I’m not the type to talk about my feelings. I don’t even like having feelings. I don’t like seeking people out to talk about them because I feel like I bother people when I do. I usually just bottle it all in or joke about it, which I know logically is unhealthy, but it is what it is. I’d rather just deal with shit on my own. I did talk to Liam finally though, after he forced me to. He is a great friend.”

They sit in silence for a long time and the tension starts seeping back in, like fog on a bank. Finally Harry sighs and ask the question on both of their minds. “Where do we go from here?”

“That’s a good fucking question,” Louis says with a small chuckle, but there is no humor behind it.

Harry’s brows are drawn in concentration again, and he looks like he wants to say something. Louis gives him time to arrange his thoughts. “Are you still confused?”

Louis was not expecting that, at all. He isn’t sure what he was expecting, but it isn’t a question about his own wellbeing. Louis realizes he doesn’t know how to answer. He still feels confused in some ways, but he certainly feels better after talking with Liam. He has come to terms with the fact that he may be attracted to men, well, one man to be specific. He wouldn’t go as far to say that he is bisexual, maybe just… bi-curious or something. Is that a thing?

After a few moments of more silence, Louis glances up at Harry, searching his eyes for something he isn’t sure he will find. He sighs. “Not as much. Talking to Liam helped a lot. I hated myself and my urges for a while there, but Liam approached it with logic. You’re both right, you know, it’s okay to be attracted to someone of the same sex. There is nothing wrong with it. I just didn’t think it would happen to me. I know that sounds dumb, but that is how I felt.”

“I’m glad Liam agrees with me,” Harry says with a smile.

Louis takes a deep breath, diving head first into the black hole of no return. He looks into Harry's clear green eyes, wanting to make sure Harry understands every word he is about to say. “Look Harry, I can’t promise a relationship,  _ fuck _ , I can’t even promise more than a kiss, but I would like to explore this side of myself. With you.”

Louis can’t believe he said it. His heart is beating so hard it feels as if it may jump out of his chest at any moment.  He watches Harry’s face for any sign of, well, anything, but finds nothing. Harry’s features are completely blank. He thinks he may actually throw up. Thankfully, the only thing in his system is way too much coffee and a cookie made in heaven.

Finally, after what feels like an  eternity to Louis’ poor heart and nervous system, Harry nods and smiles, his dimple popping. “I think I can be that for you.”

“Good, because I really wanna fucking kiss you right now,” Louis says, and dives for Harry, pulling him into a searing kiss. Harry reacts quickly, for the first time in his life, returning the kiss with fervour, one large hand cupping his cheek. His lips are soft and warm against his own and Louis feels a spark travel from the bottom of his spine, up the entire length of his body. Even though the kiss is mostly chaste, Louis knows he never wants to stop.

Louis licks the seam of Harry’s lips to gain entrance, so Harry quickly parts them to allow Louis’ tongue into his mouth. Harry’s taste is addictive. Spearmint, a hint of sweet, and something very  _ Harry _ . Their kisses quickly become dirty, as they both explore each other’s mouth with their tongues. When Louis takes Harry’s bottom lip between his teeth and bites down gently, Harry’s moan makes his whole body vibrate. His dick twitches in his jeans, but he has no intention of stopping whatever this is.

Louis parts from Harry’s lips with gasp, only to start peppering kisses along Harry’s sharp jawline down to his neck. He tangles his fingers in Harry’s soft curls,  _ finally _ , to yank his head back exposing his long slender neck to him. Harry whimpers when Louis begins sucking little love bites into Harry’s soft pale skin. On a particularly hard bite, Harry moans again, and Louis can  _ feel  _ it on his own lips and in his mouth. Harry’s hands shoot up under Louis’ t-shirt to thumb the skin above the waistline of Louis’ jeans and pulls him closer so their chests are pressed firmly together. Harry’s hands are warm and the skin he is touching feels like it is on fire. Each of Harry’s moans cause another liter of Louis’ blood to rush south.

As Louis makes his way back to Harry’s lips, he grabs Harry’s hips and pulls. Harry gets the hint, and quickly straddles him in one fluid movement, not breaking their kiss. He feels Harry’s hands shoot into his soft hair, pulling gently. Louis has a hand on each of Harry’s long legs, on either side of his hips. This feels so right, but he doesn’t want to admit it out loud. He can feel Harry’s hard dick against his own, and he moans as Harry trails kisses down Louis’ neck, sucking lightly but not enough to leave a mark. When Harry makes his way back up to his lips, he feels his own hips, of their own volition, start subtly thrusting up into Harry. He moans loudly when Harry grinds back, causing their dicks to rub together, providing much needed friction for his aching hard-on. 

Louis’ whole body feels like it is on fire. Each nerve ending firing with every touch or moan from Harry. He feels like it is too much but not enough, as he roughly grabs Harry’s hips, setting a pace. He feels Harry’s hands all over him, like he is memorizing Louis’ body. Each touch feels like electricity going through Louis’ entire system and ending in his dick. They continue this for a few minutes, or it could be hours, Louis doesn’t fucking know. He is so close to jizzing in his pants just from grinding against Harry, he has lost all notion of time. He doesn’t even know what century it is. Their moans are loud and their kisses messy. Louis barely registers the click of the door when he hears Niall’s loud boisterous voice shout, “Harry! What’s for dinner?”

Louis jumps from the couch, throwing Harry off his lap in the process. Harry, thankfully, lands on his feet as Louis turns towards the door. Both men quickly covers their erections with their hands, and make a half hearted attempt at fixing their clothes. When Niall comes into view, Harry looks down with a guilty expression.

“Sorry. Am I interrupting something?” Niall asks. Louis looks at Harry, and he looks fucked out. His pupils are blown so wide; he can barely make out any green. His hair is a mess from Louis’ fingers and his lips are kiss-bitten red. He has small bruises blooming along his jawline and neck. His cheeks and neck are red from embarrassment, and his big hands are doing nothing to cover his even bigger erection. He is fucking beautiful. 

Louis can’t help but give a very surprised Niall a smug smile. He did that to Harry. The normally calm and collected Harry Styles. He made him look like a flustered mess, and with a smile, Louis answers his blond friend. “No. Nialler, you weren’t interrupting anything.”

Niall glances between the two, looking very skeptical at Louis’ statement. “I didn’t know you were here, Lou. It’s good to see you. Are you staying for dinner?”

“Nah. I’ve gotta get going,” Louis says, looking down at his nonexistent watch. He sees Harry smile out of the corner of his eye at his antics.

“You sure?” Harry asks, meeting Louis eyes.

“Yeah. Liam is probably wondering where I’ve been. Lovely seeing you Harry. Text me, okay?” Louis grabs Harry’s hand for the briefest of moments, looking into Harry’s eyes, trying to say that he wants whatever they were doing to continue later. At Harry’s nod, Louis feels a smile grace his features. “Good seeing you, Niall.”

“Lou, take some cookies with you. There are baggies in the drawer beside sink. Take some home for you and Liam,” Harry intructs as Louis starts to head towards the door.

Louis does as he’s asked and veers into the kitchen. As he is putting cookies in a baggy that he finds in the indicated spot, he hears Niall’s outraged voice saying, “Why the hell are you giving away my cookies, Styles?”

Louis chuckles as he comes out of the kitchen. He grabs the door knob, holds up his cookies, winks at Harry and walks out the door feeling better than he has in weeks. He refuses to think about what just happened, instead letting his good mood flow through him like cool water on a hot day. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and Comments are always welcome!  
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	5. Hungry Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Harry have some fun in the sun. Louis helps Harry conquer a fear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you Chloe and Mari for always being there for me! 
> 
> There is also a [Spotify Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/mmbrabd/playlist/3K8GDQgXDwKVDLVF6h3H1T?si=sgO-djloQzmO81_jPnYdYQ%20rel=) that will be updated weekly with the songs represented as chapter titles as well as any other songs that are featured in each chapter.

_ With these hungry eyes _ __   
_ One look at you and I can't disguise _ __   
_ I've got hungry eyes _ _   
_ __ I feel the magic between you and I - Eric Carman

“So do you want to tell me what is going on between you and Louis?” Niall finally asks, three days after he walked in on Harry and Louis in a somewhat compromising position. If he hadn’t announced his presence, Harry shudders to think what Niall could have seen. Harry could tell that Niall has been wanting to ask since it happened, and he has no idea why it has taken this long for his friend’s curiosity to get the better of him.

“Nope,” Harry replies, popping the ‘p’. He normally tells Niall everything, but he really isn’t in the mood for a lecture from Niall about how he needs to be careful with straight boys. He is well aware of this, but frankly, he just doesn’t care. He knows Niall’s concerns are well founded, but he really wants to be with Louis. If a friends-with-benefits situation is the only way, then that is what he will have to take.

His mind drifts back to Saturday night, playing out like some scene from a movie. Louis kisses much like his personality, fast and harsh. Harry can still feel the beard burn on his chin and cheeks, the hickeys on his neck that have almost faded, and the small hands tangled in his curls. He tasted like cigarettes and vanilla and fucking sunshine. He has never been so turned on in his life just from making out. He felt like a 16-year-old again, losing his virginity to his first boyfriend. If it would have continued any longer, he would have come in his pants.

He hasn’t seen Louis since their make-out session on his couch, but he has talked to him every day. They text all the time. Mostly it is just random stuff, Louis sending Harry things that he finds online that Harry definitely feels like he is going to go to Hell for laughing at. They have also moved to Snapchat, after Harry finally convinced Louis to get the app. He still hasn’t gotten a dick pic, but he can dream.

“Come on,” Niall pleads, turning off the TV and fixing Harry with an intimidating stare.

“Nothing is going on, Niall,” Harry maintains, trying not to look Niall in the eyes. He knows that as soon as he does, he will break. Harry wants to be difficult today.

“Bullshit. When I walked in, you looked fucked out with a raging hard on and Louis looked smug as hell,” Niall argues.

With a long suffering sigh, Harry places his hands over his eyes and rubs. Niall really wasn’t going to drop this even though Harry clearly wants him to. He really should talk to his friend though; he just doesn’t want to. He is enjoying the little bubble that he and Louis have created for themselves. No outside influences, since the bubble was so fragile it could burst at any moment. Finally, he meets Niall’s clear blue eyes.

“He had a hard on, too. He was just wearing a longer shirt and was better at covering it. Trust me, I should know. He was rubbing it on me.” Harry goes for shock value in one last effort to deter his friend. He knows straight guys usually don’t like to talk about cock, but Niall seems to not give a shit. Harry knew he shouldn’t have spent the past year desensitizing Niall to cock talk.

“That’s not the point, and you know it,” Niall insists, extending his index finger and waving it in Harry’s face, like he is a child being chastised for having his hand in the cookie jar.

With one final sigh, Harry gives in. “Nothing is going on really. We had a long talk about what happened. He apologized for being a fuckhead, and I apologized for pushing him too far. He told me about what he has been going through in his own head, and, Niall, I felt so bad. Like I wish he would have talked to me. I know what it’s like even though I never really liked girls. I know what it feels like to constantly think that there is something wrong with you.”

Niall nods his head. “So, he’s gay?”

“You know that most people don’t fit into a single category,” Harry goes to lecture, but Niall waves it away because he has heard it about a thousand times. “I think he is still confused. I am not going to tell you everything he said, because it’s not mine to tell, but I will say he wants to explore more with me.”

“Harry,” Niall starts, his tone disapproving.

Harry immediately goes into a defensive posture. “Niall, please can we skip the lecture. I know this is dangerous or whatever, but I promise I won’t get attached. I can be that for him. I won’t get hurt.”

Niall sighs, but his eyes soften. “Harry, I just don’t want you to get hurt again. You know that. I know you, and I can tell you really like him. I just don’t want you to get dragged into any emotional problems he is going though. You and I both know you can’t do a friends-with-benefits thing. You get attached and you wear your heart on your sleeve. You literally have a tattoo that shows that.”

“I know you’re concerned Niall, and I appreciate it however I’m a big boy,” Harry responds. He can feel his posture getting less defensive and his tone softening. “Plus, I don’t want him to go through it alone. It will be better with me than him going off to some gay club to get a quick hand job in a dirty bathroom stall then hating himself afterwards.”

“Fine, but when you end up hurt, I’m not gonna coddle you. I am going to tell you that I told you so,” Niall says in defeat, but smiles.

Harry returns his smile, grabbing his hand to shake it. “Deal.”

Harry feels his phone vibrate from its position on the couch beside his leg. Niall rolls his eyes and turns the TV back on, knowing that he has lost Harry’s attention.

**Louis:** How are you this lovely fucking morning?

**Harry** : Alright. I don’t know how you manage to do it but you seem to always portray your sarcasm through a text.

**Louis** : What can I say? It’s a gift.

**Harry** : It is. How are you?

**Louis** : Well I just went on my first break at work, so just peachy. Krista says hey btw

Harry rolls his eyes, but texts back.

**Harry:** I’m sure she does. What you did to that poor girl was so mean

**Louis** : I would NEVER do anything mean Harold. You know me better than that

**Harry** : Mmmmhmmm

**Louis** : I don’t have much longer on my break, so I am just going to cut the small talking bullshit and get to the point

**Harry** : Of course. You always just get to the point

**Louis** : What’s the point in fucking around unless it leads to actual fucking?

**Louis** : Anyways, do you wanna hang out tonight?

**Harry** : Do you miss me?

Harry can almost see Louis rolling his eyes, even though he is a few miles away.

**Louis** : Nope. You’re a last resort. Liam is working and all of my friends are gone for the summer. I don’t want to sit around alone tonight

**Harry** : Ouch

**Louis** : Fine… 

**Louis** : I kind of miss you

**Harry** : Then yes, I would love to hang out tonight

**Louis** : My place at like 6? I would say I’ll cook dinner, but I won’t

**Harry** : Yeah that’s fine. I can pick up something if you want. Maybe Chinese?

**Louis** : That works, see you tonight!

**Harry** : Yeah. Oh and I miss you too :)

“What are you smiling about?” Niall asks.

“I have a date tonight. With Louis,” Harry clarifies. At Niall’s skeptical expression, Harry relents. “Fine. He didn’t call it a date in so many words, but it is just going to be me and him at his place with some takeout Chinese food. It’s totally a date.” Niall still looks unconvinced, but Harry doesn’t care. He is too happy to care.

 

____________

 

“About fucking time you got here, I’m starving,” Louis says in greeting while opening the door for Harry. 

“Well, hello to you too,” Harry responds sarcastically as he takes in Louis’ appearance. He is wearing a cozy looking sweater that is much too big for him, with his hands tucked into the sleeves, a pair of low slung joggers and is barefoot, of course. He looks soft and Harry really wants to cuddle him. 

Louis must notice Harry is staring at him because he looks down at his outfit. “What? Liam is like a fucking furnace and keeps the AC at like 67, so I freeze.”

So Louis gets cold easily? Harry files that thought away for later as he steps into the cool apartment. Louis makes grabby hands at the bag of food so Harry smiles and gives it to him as he removes his shoes then follows Louis into the living room. He isn’t exactly sure how to act around Louis after their last encounter. He doesn’t feel like there is a tension in the air, so he takes that as a positive sign. Louis also doesn’t seem overly jittery. He decides to just play it cool. He can do that. They divide the food and start to eat on the couch watching  _ Dirty Dancing _ . Of course, Louis would choose a movie about a summer fling.

Mostly they watch the movie in silence as they eat their meals. Occasionally, one of Harry’s chopsticks would sneak its way into Louis container then Harry would complain about it being too spicy. Louis would just roll his eyes with a fond expression and tell him to quit being a little bitch about it. Just as often, Louis’ fork (because why can’t he use a normal eating utensil?) will make its way into Harry’s fried rice, stealing forkfuls from under Harry’s nose. By the end of their meals, Harry thinks he has eaten just as much of Louis’ as he has his own. They are sitting close enough on the couch that their bodies touch, but they aren’t cuddling, much to Harry’s displeasure. If Louis is nervous, it’s not showing. They’ve gotten to the part where Johnny is attempting to teach Baby how to do a lift in the water when an idea hits Harry like a light bulb. “We should go to a lake!”

“Well that was random,” Louis says, not taking his eyes from the TV. Their empty Chinese containers are sitting on the table, long forgotten. Louis has his bare feet tucked under him, probably to keep them warm. He looks small and cozy with his hands tucked up into the sleeves of his sweater.

“No, it wasn’t,” Harry defends, gesturing towards the TV where Baby just had her third failed attempt.

“Is there even a lake around here?” Louis asks, finally looking at Harry, seeming to consider the idea.

“I don’t know. You’ve been here a lot longer than me,” Harry points out.

“Yeah, but I don’t get out much other than to work. You are kind of from this area,” Louis replies.

“Yeah, but not really. Like an hour away. Anyways, that is what Google is for,” Harry says, waving his phone like it is some kind magic wand.  Louis rolls his eyes, but tucks himself into Harry’s side. He lays his head on Harry’s shoulder as he looks at the small screen. His hair smells amazing. Like some kind of manly forest that Harry wants to frolic in. Of course, he would want to frolic in something he has deemed ‘manly’. Alright focus. He can do that with Louis’ warm weight pressing into his side and the intoxicating smell of his hair.

“Says here.” Harry clears his throat because his voice sounds rough to his own ears, he tries again, “Says here that Lake Buffay is only an hour away. They have a swimming area.”

“Don’t you mean Buffet, like Jimmy Buffet?” Louis asks, using small cold fingers to take the phone from Harry’s hand.

“No Buffay, like Phoebe Buffay,” Harry says, attempting to take the phone back, but Louis is much quicker than him.

“Oh!” Louis gasp excitingly. “They have canoe rentals! We should do that too! You know, make a day of it.”

Harry freezes. He didn’t think Louis would want to do that. He can feel his panic start to claw at his throat. “I don’t know. Large bodies of water kind of freak me out.”  

Louis doesn’t look up from Harry’s phone. “What? You were going to go swim in the lake.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t bother me because there are, like, markers and stuff that tell me how deep the water is. I freak out when it goes over my head. The idea of being in or on top of a body of water that has an unknown depth freaks me the fuck out,” Harry explains, a shiver going through his entire body at the thought.

At Harry’s shiver, Louis looks at him through his incredibly long eyelashes. Once he realizes that Harry may not be joking, he sits up a little more and examines Harry’s expression. It makes Harry feel uncomfortable. Needing something to fill the silence, Harry admits, “I’m not a very good swimmer.”

At his confession, Louis features soften. “Hey. It’s okay if you don’t want to do it. I am not going to force you into anything that is uncomfortable for you. Just know that I wouldn’t let anything bad happen to you. We could wear life jackets and everything.”

His voice is soft, like he is talking to a small child and not a grown man, but Harry very much appreciates it. He finds that he believes him. Christ, Louis could literally talk him into anything. He is done for. “Okay.” Harry relents even though there was never really a fight to begin with. “We can try it.”

The smile that lights up Louis face makes the possibility of drowning worth it. Louis hands his phone back to him, their fingers grazing. “Damn, your hands are freezing.”

“Told you,” Louis says with a shrug, tucking his fingers back into the sleeve of his sweater.

“Here. I’m always warm.” Harry has no idea what possesses him to reach for Louis’ hand, but he has already done it. He takes Louis’ smaller hand in his both of own and gently rubs both hands over Louis’, creating warm friction. Louis’ eyes widen, but he doesn’t pull away. Harry notices that his hands look much better than they did on Saturday night. The bandages have been removed and the abrasions are healing.

“So, are we going to Lake Buffay,” Louis asks, emphasizing the name. “On Saturday?”

“Yeah. We are both off, right?” Harry says, switching to Louis’ other hand and repeating the same motion on the cold digits.

“I’m off,” Louis answers. Harry stops the warming friction, and tangles their fingers together instead. He lays their combined hands on Louis’ lap and places his other hand over the back, so Louis’ small hand is effectively sandwiched between his own. It’s alarming how well Louis’ hand fits in his own, despite the size difference. Harry doesn’t allow himself to think too much about this though. Louis’ posture is stiff at first, but he slowly relaxes into Harry as they finish the movie. He doesn’t remove his hand until Harry leaves much later that night.

 

____________

 

“What are you doing up so early on your day off?” Liam asks mid-morning on Saturday.

“Going to the lake with Harry,” Louis says, sitting his backpack down with his towel and various other items in it.

“So, you have a date with Harry?” Liam asks with an innocent expression.

“Fuck off,” Louis replies, flipping Liam off as he goes into the kitchen. Louis refuses to call it a date. Refuses. It’s not, okay? It is just two friends hanging out. So fucking what if they held hands all of Monday night like some high schoolers. Who gives a fuck if he is kind of excited to see Harry without a sheer material covering his torso? Who cares if he had been looking forward to this all week? Liam didn’t have to know. No one had to know. He, himself, refuses to think about what he is doing with Harry.

Liam chuckles, “So are you guys, like, dating?”

“Nope,” Louis says, popping the ‘p’.

“Then what are you doing?” Liam asks, watching Louis place some bread in the toaster.

“I think we have established, Lima, that Harry and I are going to the lake,” Louis answers, taking out the Nutella and honey from the pantry. He has to do a small jump to reach the honey, since Liam decided the top shelf was the best place for it.

“Why do you have to be so difficult?”

“I’m not being difficult,” Louis insists, turning towards his roommate as he waits for the toaster to pop. At Liam’s death glare he adds, “I just don’t know what we are doing. Just fooling around I guess.”

Liam doesn’t look convinced at Louis’ casual terms, but Louis doesn’t care. He doesn’t have to justify his actions to Liam. If he doesn’t want to call it a date, then it isn’t one. End of story.

“Okay,” Liam says, expression brightening. “Have fun today, and don’t let Harry drown.”

Louis thinks about how freaked out Harry looked at the mention of taking a canoe on the lake. Louis really wanted to kiss the worried wrinkle that appeared between his eyebrows away. He is glad he convinced Harry to go though. He wants Harry to trust him, for some reason, and this is a great first step. He would never let anything physically bad happen to the boy.

“I wouldn’t let anything happen to him Liam, you know that.” Louis voices his last thought as he takes the toast out and starting spread one slice with Nutella. He then tops it with honey, smashes the sides together and takes one gigantic bite, honey dripping down his chin.

Liam grimaces, “I don’t know how you eat that shit. It’s too sweet.”

“It’s delicious,” Louis states as he takes another huge bite. He hears a knock on the door. “That’s probably Haz, I’ll get it.”

When he opens the door, the first thing he notices is that Harry is wearing the smallest yellow swim trunks known to man. Thank Christ it isn’t a speedo, or Louis would have been fucked, maybe literally. With his very small trunks, he is also wearing a simple tank top that showcases his broad shoulders. His long hair is pulled up into a bun with sunglasses perched on his head and a backpack hangs over his shoulder. He smiles brightly at Louis.

Louis finally stops blatantly checking him out to say, “Hey, come on in. I was just having a snack before we left.” He holds up his Nutella and honey sandwich.

“You shaved,” Harry declares with his brows drawn. It isn’t a question, and Harry almost sounds offended at the fact that Louis shaved his face.

“No, my face just has a magical ability to get rid of hair every three days,” Louis says sarcastically, pulling Harry inside so he can shut the door. If his sarcasm bothers Harry, he doesn’t show it, just smiles at him again.

“It’s just that,” Harry starts, gesturing towards Louis with one large hand, “I really liked your scruff.”

“Oh.” Louis was not expecting that. At all. He didn’t know Harry had a preference on his appearance and tells himself that the next time he doesn’t shave, it won’t be because Harry prefers him with scruff. He takes another bite of his sandwich because he has no idea what else to say.

“What are you eating?” Harry asks curiously.

“Oh. Nutella and honey on toast,” Louis answers, holding up his sandwich again, which is almost gone.

“That sounds really sweet,” Harry says, but not in a judging manner unlike Liam.

“It is. It’s amazing.” Louis finishes off the last bite, licking his sticky fingers clean. He doesn’t miss Harry following his movements with his eyes. As if Harry can’t help himself, he leans forward. Louis freezes, partially because he has no idea what Harry is going to do. Harry’s face gets closer to his and before he can even register what is happening, Harry’s pink tongue kitten licks the corner of his own lips. Harry pulls back quickly.

“Sorry, you had a little honey,” Harry says, smiling smugly as he gestures to the corner of his lip on his own face.

Louis’ brain must be short circuiting because he doesn’t have a single thought for a solid minute. Finally he snaps himself out of it to reply, “You couldn’t have just used your thumb?”

“I think we both know that my way was more fun,” Harry says with another shit eating grin spreading over his features. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah, just let me grab my backpack.” Louis vaguely gestures towards the living room. He freezes when he sees Liam standing behind them, curiously watching their interaction. He saw the whole fucking thing. Louis wants to strangle him when Liam’s normally innocent features morph into a knowing smirk. Louis starts toward him to pick up his backpack, shooting him a death glare.

“Not a date, eh?” Liam murmurs so only Louis can hear him. His knowing smirk is becoming more pronounced with each second.

“Fuck off,” Louis whispers as he walks back with his backpack slung over his shoulder. He grabs Harry’s shoulder to turn him around towards the door before Liam can say anything more incriminating.

“You two have fun!” He hears Liam shout behind them, then start laughing as Louis shuts the door firmly.

“Lead the way, Styles,” Louis says, hoping to distract Harry from Liam’s last comment, but luck was never on Louis’ side.

“What was that all about?” Harry asks with a small smirk, leading the way outside. 

“Nothing,” Louis says, rolling his eyes intentionally in hopes Harry won’t press.

Harry must be a fucking saint because he drops it in favor of gesturing to his car. “Here she is. This is Shania.”

“You named your car?” Louis asks disbelievingly as he stares at the Jeep. It is really nice. Nicer than anything Louis or anyone in his close family has ever owned. It looks fairly new, and Louis wonders, briefly, if Harry would ever let him drive it.

“Of course,” Harry sounds offended again, and Louis has to laugh. “Just get in, asshole.”

“Touchy, touchy,” Louis chastises as he slides into the soft leather seats. Jesus, he could get used to this. The inside is fancy with various buttons and gadgets. He wants to press every single one of them, but restrains himself in favor of putting on his seat belt. Harry throws both of their bags into the back seat then buckles himself up.

“I am going to hate myself for saying this, but do you wanna put some music on? It will be super easy to connect your phone to the Bluetooth,” Harry informs, starting the car and pushing a few button on the TOUCHSCREEN navigation system in the dash. Louis tries his very best not to look impressed with the inside of the car, but it’s not working. He is now itching to press buttons.

“Harold, I’ll have you know I have  _ great  _ taste in music,” Louis says, bringing his hand up to his chest in mock offence.

Harry laughs then starts walking Louis through on how to connect his phone to the Bluetooth like he knows Louis wants to touch the dials and buttons. Unfortunately, connecting his phone only allows Louis to push precisely two buttons, which isn’t very relieving, but he will take what he can get. Getting comfortable, Louis slips off his flip flops, because fuck shoes that’s why, and places his feet on the dashboard. He sees Harry glance over him then look at his feet, but doesn’t say anything as Louis scrolls through his Spotify to pick some music.

The hour long car ride to Lake Buffay is painless. He and Harry talk about anything and everything. He finds that he likes bantering with Harry, but not in the way he does with his other friends. He isn’t as mean to Harry, and his comments linger on the side of flirty. During quiet moments of the drive, he hears Harry sing quietly or hum along to the songs he knows. Harry really does have a beautiful voice. Deep and gravely. It is very soothing.

“I think we’re here,” Harry says, breaking into Louis’ thoughts. He didn’t even noticed the scenery had changed to a thick forest green, too caught up in Harry. He looks around and sees they are driving down a well paved winding road. This must be the state forest the Lake is attached to. He puts his feet down and slips his shoes back on, anticipating parking soon. He feels itchy to get out and have some fun.

A few minutes later, Harry parks the car at the entrance of a fairly large lake. Louis had done some research on the lake prior to their arrival, so he knew it wasn’t small, but it was hard to grasp the size by just raw numbers. They decide to canoe first then spend the rest of the day swimming. The swimming area looks fairly large and roped off with markers to indicate how deep the water is at any given area. At the furthest end, there is a floating dock in the middle of the water anchored to the ropes. It doesn’t look too crowded since they live in a college area and most people are gone for the summer.

They rent a canoe, paddles, and life jackets. Harry insist on paying for everything despite Louis’ protest. The girl at the counter smirks at them, looking amused. The closer they get to the water; the more nervous Harry seems. Louis sits the canoe on the soft sand and gestures for Harry to do the same with his side.

“Look Hazza, you really don’t have to do this if it makes you uncomfortable,” Louis says, softly meeting Harry’s eyes. He knows he can give people a lot of shit, but he doesn’t want Harry to feel pressured into this for whatever reason. He is normally the one to convince people to do stupid shit, but seeing Harry look so scared physically hurts him. He quickly pushes that thought aside. 

“No, I want to. It will help me get over my fear,” Harry reasons, and Louis can tell by the look in his face he is set on doing it. Louis admires his bravery for doing this and gives him a reassuring smile. He takes off his shirt, and when his head pops out of the material, he sees that Harry has done the same.

Harry’s sheer blouses do not leave much to the imagination, but Jesus fucking Christ, Louis was not prepared for the sight he is met with. First thing he notices are tattoos. Black ink litters Harry’s chest and torso. Louis isn’t really surprised, but he was never able to quite see in detail the tattoos Harry hid beneath fabric. Harry had matching tattooed laurels on either side of his hips. Louis wants to sink his fingers into them until his soft skin bruises. Of course Harry, the fucking king of puns, would tattoo a huge motherfucking butterfly on his stomach. If Louis really wants to paint the black ink with his own come, no one has to know.

Harry is toned with long lean muscles and pale skin that is most likely going to burn today in the harsh sun. He takes in his long legs, seeing half a tattoo peek out from under his swim trunks. His mind is doing crazy shit because all he can imagine are those long lean legs wrapped around his hips. His dick twitches and he snaps his attention to Harry’s face. Harry is shamelessly doing the same thing to Louis. His clear green eyes are sweeping all over Louis chest and shoulders. Louis gets the sudden urge to cover the very small pudge on his tummy under the attention. His self-consciousness gets the best of him, so he does.

“Don’t.” Harry’s deep voice is even deeper. He uses large hands to pull Louis’ arms back down to his side.

“Um,” Louis clears his throat trying to break the tension a bit. “Ready to do this?”

“As I’ll ever be,” Harry answers with a strained smile and starts fastening his life jacket over the expanse of his chest. Louis almost whines because Harry is covering his newest favorite thing to study.

Louis holds the canoe steady on the water as he watches Harry clumsily arrange his long limbs into one side. He bites his tongue, trying not to laugh because he doesn’t want to make Harry feel self-conscious about this, a courtesy he would never give any other friend.

“Ready?” Louis asks, checking to make sure Harry is situated. At Harry’s nervous nod, Louis pushes off the side of the lake and quickly sits down facing Harry with their knees touching. The both start paddling, taking a moment to adjust to each other’s speed, but it doesn’t take very long as they slowly make their way more towards the middle of the lake. Louis keeps an eye on Harry’s expression and body language to gauge his level of freak out.

Harry’s breathing is starting to become irregular and his full lips are pulled into a tight line. Louis sits his paddle down between their knees, Harry does the same a few moments later so they are just drifting. Louis takes Harry’s hand in his own trying to comfort the other man. His thumbs stroke over the back on Harry’s hand soothingly as he says, “Harry, love, you have to breathe.” Harry’s green eyes meet his own, and they are wild with panic. A pain goes through Louis’ chest, as he tightens his hold on Harry’s hands, trying to give him some strength.

“Probably not the best time to tell you that I have asthma,” Harry admits with a tight smile, obviously trying to act less panicked, but his hands are still holding Louis’ like a vice, his breathing is still irregular, and his body is beginning to physically shake.

“What? Shit, Haz! Where is your inhaler? Fuck!” Louis snaps at Harry’s words, cold dread seeping into his bones. He doesn’t mean for his tone to sound so sharp, but now he is really worried about Harry. If anything happened to him, he has no idea what he would do.

“I’m okay. I’m not going to have an attack or anything. I hardly ever use it anymore. It used to be much worse when I was younger,” Harry reassures him, but Louis isn’t convinced given Harry’s tight grip on his fingers.

“You’re fine, Harry, I promise, I won’t let you drown. I am a very good swimmer.” Louis decides to take a different approach, pulling on what he has learned about the lake through research in hopes to ease Harry’s mind. “This portion of the lake is only about 13 miles long. The deepest part is about 25 feet. We aren’t going near the dam, which can reach a depth of 90 feet, so you don’t have to worry about that. When we go swimming, the water will be no deeper than 8 feet at any point unless you swim past the roped off area.”

“How do you know all of that?” Harry inquires, his expression curious instead of panicked. His body visibly relaxes and his breathing is becoming more regulated. Louis is pleased.

Louis thinks about lying, but decides that’s not really his style, even though he is a terrific liar. “I did some research on the lake this week because I thought knowing more about it could help ease your mind. You know, taking away some of the unknown aspect of it all.”

Louis barely has time to react when Harry quickly leans in to place a kiss on Louis’ lips. The kiss is gentle and sweet. His soft lips only graze his own for seconds, but it feels monumental. When he pulls away, Louis still feels them, like a ghost. He touches his lips like he can’t believe that just happened as Harry quietly says, “Thank you.”

“For what?” Louis asks, his head still a little fuzzy from the sudden action.

“For helping,” Harry says simply, picking up his paddle. Harry is more relaxed for the rest of their time in the canoe. The spend an hour and half leisurely paddling around or drifting as they talk and soak up the warm sun. Louis does his best not to jostle or rock the canoe, knowing it would freak Harry out again. Normally he would do that to his friends because he is menace, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it to Harry. They take their equipment back to the rental place then go to Harry’s car to retrieve their backpacks. Harry gets in the trunk and takes out a large cooler.

“What’s that?” Louis asks, pointing to the cooler.

“Oh. I packed us a picnic. I thought we would get hungry and knew there wouldn’t be a place to eat,” Harry says, shrugging.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Louis starts, but Harry quickly cuts him off with another small kiss. That is the second time today that Harry has just casually kissed him, but he didn’t have it in him to tell him to stop.

“I wanted to,” Harry says, smiling as he starts walking towards the swimming area. Louis is helpless not to follow, checking out his ass and broad shoulders.

When they get down to the sandy area by the lake, Harry finds a nice spot and starts spreading out their beach towels. Once they are both situated on their towels, Harry opens the cooler and begins unpacking its contents. He hands Louis a cool bottle of water, which Louis takes gratefully, drinking half of it down. He didn’t realize he was starving until Harry pulls two bowls out and pops open the lids.

“I know you’re not much for salad because it’s against your religion or whatever, but I thought it would be better to pack something light,” Harry tells him, showing Louis the grilled chicken salad he had put together.

“You’re right about that. Plus, I am not allergic or anything, I usually just prefer something a little less healthy,” Louis says, rolling his eyes but his stomach rumbles loudly, betraying his attempt at nonchalance.

Harry smiles and hands him his bowl, a fork, and the ranch dressing. Louis layers his salad with a generous amount while Harry uses some raspberry vinaigrette shit, no thank you. They eat in companionable silence, drinking their water as they look out over the lake, and watching the families around them.

“Those little girls remind me of my sisters when they were young,” Louis says, pointing to the identical twin toddlers waddling around the water’s edge. One decides to sit down and screeches happily as the cool water licks at her legs. The other looks a bit more skeptical of it all, her mother and father having to guide her in.

“They are so cute!” Harry exclaims, watching the scene unfold. “I love children.”

“I know you do. Maybe you can meet my siblings sometime. I must warn you, they are loud and an absolute handful.”

“I’d love that,” Harry says, packing up what’s left of their meal. Louis decides to help because, suddenly, he really wants to see Harry in the water.

As Louis stands up, Harry follows. “I can feel myself starting to burn, I could use some help in applying sunscreen.” His expression is innocent, but there is a glint in his eyes.

“Sure,” Louis says skeptically, because he really shouldn’t be rubbing a cream like substance into Harry’s skin. Really, really shouldn’t. Harry starts apply a generous amount on his own chest and arms.

“Aren’t you going to put any on?” Harry asks.

“Nah. If I burn, I’ll survive,” Louis replies.

“Skin cancer is real. Will you please put some on? If not for your life then for the life of your tattoos.” Harry pouts, his full red lips jutting out in the cutest way possible.

“Fine,” Louis relents, because how the fuck does he say no that face. He takes the sunscreen and begins applying it to his own chest and arms, glaring at Harry the entire time, but Harry just smiles at him, not deterred.

“Okay, now do my back,” Harry says, turning around. Before Louis is able to mentally prepare himself, the only thing he sees his Harry’s pale skin and broad shoulders. His eyes trace Harry’s spine all the way down to the dip before his tail bone. He clears his throat even though he isn’t going to speak, squeezing a heavy amount from the tube into his palm. It is going to take forever to work into his skin, but Louis is up for the task.

Louis takes a few deep breaths to steady his shaky hands before he slowly starts working the white cream into his back. His skin is warm and impossibly soft. Louis likes feeling the muscles rippling under his nimble fingers as he works the lotion into the area. He tries to tune out the moan that escapes Harry’s lips as he roughly works his way down beside Harry’s spine, giving him a bit of a massage. This really shouldn’t be erotic, but it is. Finally,  _ finally _ , he is finished.

“All done,” Louis says, his voice sound high and raspy even to his own ears. He doesn’t stop touching Harry until he turns back around.

“Your turn.” Harry smirks as he stirs one long finger in the air in a motion to indicate Louis needs to turn around. Louis rolls his eyes, but doesn’t protest as he turns his back to Harry. It feels like he waits an eternity before Harry’s large hands are on his too-hot skin. One of Harry’s hands feels like it takes up half of Louis’ back. Normally, he hates feeling small, but with Harry he finds he doesn’t mind as much. He knows he is stiff, but isn’t able to relax when Harry is massaging his back like this. Harry is standing so close; he can feel his hot breaths on the nape of his neck. Before Louis is ready, Harry whispers, or he could have shouted for all Louis knows, “Done.”

“Thanks,” Louis says, turning around. He feels like he is in a bit of a daze, so he takes off, sprinting towards the cool water to help clear his head. He hears Harry laugh, probably taking off as well. The water is cold on his hot skin, but it feels fantastic. He and Harry just swim around a bit, occasionally play fighting and splashing each other. On more than one occasion, Louis dunks Harry, but Harry retaliates by picking Louis up and throwing him in various directions. It is the most fun Louis has had in a long time, and if he is enjoying the casual touches between himself and Harry, no one has to know.

“Come on, let’s swim to the dock,” Louis requests, nodding towards the dock floating in the water about 15 feet away. No one was on it, and it would be a great place to rest and sunbathe. When he doesn’t feel Harry’s presence behind him, he turns around to see Harry looking somewhat panicked and rooted to the spot.

“I don’t know. The water is like eight feet deep over there, which is well over my head.” Harry gestures towards the markers.

“You’re a great swimmer, Haz. I’ve been watching you. I don’t know why you’re so concerned,” Louis softly replies, swimming over and grabbing Harry’s hips. The water is shallow enough for Harry to stand on his tip toes and still have his nose above water, but Louis has to use his hold on Harry’s hips to gently bob.

“Not really. It is just so deep,” Harry pouts. Louis wants to kiss him, so he does. It is tender and quick. He has no idea why he did it, but it causes Harry to smile, which is enough of a reason.

“Look, I’ll swim out to the dock first. You can watch me do it. I will be up there, so if you look like you are in trouble, I can just jump in and rescue you. I promise, you’ll be okay,” Louis barters.

“Okay. If you promise I won’t drown,” Harry finally relents to Louis’ pleading face.

“Scout’s honor,” Louis says, doing some stupid hand gesture over his heart in the water.

“Were you even a Scout?” Harry asks.

“’Course not,” Louis replies, quickly swimming over to the dock and uses the ladder to hoist himself up. No longer surrounded by the buoyancy of the water, it takes Louis a moment to adjust. He looks at Harry, who looks scared but determined.

“Alright, I’m going to start swimming now,” Harry calls.

“Okay. Remember, just keep swimming, just keep swimming,” Louis singsongs like Dory from  _ Finding Nemo _ . His antics distract Harry enough that he doesn’t notice when he reaches a level that would be above his head.

“Almost here, Haz,” Louis encourages as Harry makes his way to the ladder and hoists himself up, causing the deck to rock just a bit. Louis grabs his hand and helps him the rest of way, pulling him into a strong hug. “I’m so proud of you. You have done so much to conquer your fears today.”

He sees Harry’s cheeks are red when he looks up at him, and for some reason he doesn’t think they are sunburnt. “Couldn’t have done it without you.”

“Okay, enough with the sappy shit,” Louis declares, clapping his hands in front of him. He doesn’t do emotions and the whole moment is starting to make him feel vulnerable. “Let’s sunbathe.”

They lay on the deck in companionable silence for a long time, just relaxing and enjoying the hot sun on their skin. Their fingers are touching, but they aren’t quite holding hands. Harry’s deep voice pierces through his relaxed state of mind. He thinks he’d almost fallen asleep. “So tell me about your tattoos.”

Louis sits up to look down at his arms which is where most of his tattoos are situated. There are a lot, so he says, “What do you wanna know?”

Harry sits up, too, using nothing but his ridiculous ab muscles to hoist himself into a seated position, leaning back on his arms. “I don’t know. Like, why you got some of them and stuff.”

“Oh well, not all of them have some significant meaning. Most were just ways to highlight important parts of my life. My friend Zayn is a tattoo artist, so I let him practice on me while he was apprenticing at a tattoo place. That’s why some of them are super simple.” Louis points to his stick figure on a skateboard. “As he got better, he offered to do bigger and nicer ones for free. You know, to repay me for being his guinea pig.”

“That’s so cool. I have a friend that does tattoos too, but he only gives me a discount.” Harry smiles, dimple popping.

“Yeah. I would have never been able to afford them otherwise. My mom wanted to murder me when I first started getting them, but she got over it.”

“Really? My mom was cool about it. I got my first one when I was 16. She took me and everything. She had no issue with it, but my dad didn’t like it. Said I would never find a job as a good Lawyer with tattoos all over me. My step-dad is like my mom; he doesn’t really care. Loves me regardless,” Harry says. His tone is detached when he speaks about his dad.

“I’m sorry your dad feels that way. You don’t even want to be a lawyer, so why does it matter?”

“I don’t know. They pay for my school, partially, so I feel like I’ve got to do what they say,” Harry replies, looking over the water with a contemplative expression.

“Maybe think about talking to your mom about it. Change your major or something. You could even take some time off to re-evaluate. Despite the American culture, not everyone has to go to college,” Louis reasons.

“Yeah. I have been thinking about it,” Harry says, finally meeting his eyes. They turn over on their stomachs to try to get an even tan and chat for a while about their tattoos. Stories behind them and reason why, but their conversation eventually dies down as they both start to relax again.

It was Harry’s voice again that breaks into Louis subconscious. “Hey, Lou.”

“Hmmm.” Louis doesn’t feel like using actual words.

“I wanted to tell you I’ve had a really great time today. Thank you,” Harry says. Louis turns to his side and props his head on his arms, mirroring Harry’s already established position.

“I’ve had a great time as well. I don’t get to do much in the summer, but I really did have a lot of fun today. I was nice to just relax,” Louis responds. Harry reaches for his hand and begins to trace his fingers on the wooden surface of the dock.

“We should do more. It would be fun.” Harry continues to trace his fingers, finally tangling them together lining their rope and anchor tattoos up. It’s weird, Louis suddenly thinks, how their tattoos seem to complement each other.

“I agree. I just don’t really have the funds to do a whole lot,” Louis admits, ducking his head in embarrassment, but not pulling his hand away.

“Don’t worry about that. I would pay for everything if you needed me to. Not like we would do anything crazy,” Harry says, pulling his hand away and resting it on Louis’ hip. The touch is innocent, but Louis feels his dick twitch in his shorts.

“Haz, I couldn’t let you do that. I don’t know how you seem to have money, and you don’t have to tell me, but I don’t want you spending on a ton on me.”

“But I like to. Plus, it keeps me from being bored,” Harry reasons as he begins to trace the letters of Louis’ chest tattoo. His touch is like a whisper on Louis’ hot skin, but he feels everything. He closes his eyes for a moment, letting the touch relax him. He feels Harry’s large palm on his chest and the dock sway a bit, so he knows Harry must have moved. When he opens his eyes, Harry begins to scoot closer to him until their chests are touching. He feels Harry’s hand slowly move from his chest, to his neck, then finally tangling in his now dry hair.

Louis’ own hand finds its way to Harry’s hip, gripping the small love handle there. Harry’s lips start to slowly move towards his own, giving him a chance to protest. He doesn’t. He doesn’t move, but he doesn’t tell Harry to stop. When Harry’s lips finally meet his, it feels monumental in some way. Their first time was quick and desperate. Harsh. The other two times have been just quick pecks, but this is different. Harry is leading and it is slow and steady, like his smooth voice and his own gestures.

It doesn’t feel hurried, just sweet. Leisurely, Harry licks the seam of his mouth, so Louis parts his lips to allow entrance. Even though the kisses stay slow, they feel so very dirty as their tongues tangle and explore each other’s mouths. Louis is hyper aware that they are out in the middle of a lake on a dock where anyone and everyone can see them, but for some reason he can’t find a fuck to give when Harry is kissing him like this. Like it is the only thing he ever wants to do. Louis can feel his dick start to harden as all of his boiling blood rushes south.

Harry, for his part, starts deliberately grinding his hard length against Louis’ groin, moaning into his mouth. Louis finds himself grinding back, wanting to do something, but is unsure what. The thing is, Louis is new to all of this. He has zero experience doing anything sexual with men. He knows what he likes to be done to himself, but that is the extent of his knowledge. He understands the basics, but is unsure of the actual execution. He feels out of his depth suddenly, but can’t stop his hips from grinding against Harry’s, his dick fully hard now and tenting his trunks. Thank Loki no one was on the dock with them. Loki is a god, right?

“We should stop,” Harry says breathily, pulling away.

“Yeah. You’re right,” Louis replies, kissing down Harry’s long neck, damp curls tickling his cheek.

“Seriously, Lou, I’m into exhibitionism, but there are children here,” Harry hisses as Louis sucks a bruise into his neck. So, Harry’s into being watched or the idea of being watched? Interesting. Louis needs to file that away for later. He internally rolls his eyes because, damn it, he wants to keep sucking on Harry’s neck, but pulls away.

“Alright,” Louis sighs like it is the worst thing that has ever happened and makes his way to his feet, keeping his back turned toward the people on the lake side, not wanting to give them a show. He helps Harry to his feet, and can feel a mischievous grin forming as an idea pops into his head.

“What?” Harry questions, brows drawn in the cutest way.

“Do you trust me?” Louis asks, holding Harry’s hands.

“Um...” Harry thinks about the question for a moment. “Yes.”

“Good. Just remember the water here is only about 7 feet deep. You are about 7 feet tall, so you’ll be fine,” Louis says.

“What? Why are you telling…” Harry statement trails off because Louis uses his whole body to push Harry from the dock into the lake, laughing maniacally as Harry’s long limbs gracelessly land in the water with a surprised expression on his face. Louis jumps in after him, knowing Harry would freak out from being in water over his head. The cold is shocking to Louis’ system from being on the hot dock for so long, but it does cool his raging hard-on.

When he reaches the surface, he looks around for Harry and begins to get worried when he doesn’t see him. He prepares himself to dive under when Harry surfaces to his right, flailing his long limbs wildly. Louis swims over, grabs his hand then pulls Harry over to more shallow water, telling him he is fine and that he needs to calm down a bit.

“What the fuck did you do that for?” Harry shouts when he has finally gotten his breath back.

A very unmanly giggle escapes Louis’ lips before he replies, “We needed to cool off.”

“You ass,” Harry pouts, but Louis kisses him until the frown is no longer there. They play fight in the water a bit more and just swim around until their boners have gone away completely.

“It’s getting late. You wanna get going?” Harry asks, looking up at the sky like he can tell what time it is by the sun’s position. Maybe he can.

“Yeah. I suppose,” Louis says, feeling somewhat disappointed. It has been such a good day, he almost doesn’t want it to end, but he can feel the tiredness sinking into his limbs. They get out of the water, dry off and pack up, both going into a bathroom stall to change out of their wet clothes. Louis tucks his feet beneath his legs on the seat and rests his head against the window, listening to Harry’s voice softly singing along to the music.

He doesn’t mean to fall asleep, but suddenly he feels strong sure hands under his knees and supporting his back. In his unconscious state, he just assumes he fell asleep on the couch, and Liam is carrying him to bed therefore he cuddles closer. This person doesn’t smell like Liam though, he smells like sunscreen and water. Louis cracks his eyes open, slightly alarmed to see curls. Harry is carrying him. It seems like they are at a doorway because he is being balanced on Harry's knee with one arm to support him as Harry works his key into the lock and opens the door. They are at Louis’ place, it seems.

“Love, which room is yours?” Harry asks softly, pulling him further from his sleep. It’s weird since his voice is what lulled Louis to sleep to begin with. Talking seems exhausting, so he just points in to the door of his room, not registering that this will be first time Harry has seen it. He opens his eyes when Harry carefully lays him down on top of his covers.

“Sorry, I was trying not to wake you.” Harry is smiling softly at him, and Louis just kind of wants to pull him down to cuddle. He hasn’t had that kind of intimacy in so long, he feels a longing deep in his chest that he didn’t know was there.

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” Louis says, rubbing his eyes, but he quickly stops when he remembers his contacts are still in place. He begins to sit up, but Harry stops him.

“It’s okay. I didn’t mind. It was cute seeing you curled up in the passenger seat. I didn’t have the heart to wake you. You just looked so comfortable and sleepy,” Harry admits shyly. Louis feels a blush creep up his cheeks and prays that he may be sunburnt and Harry won’t notice.

“Thank you,” Louis says, although he has no idea what he is thanking Harry for, he just feels so content.

“No problem. I’m gonna head home and shower. I smell like a lake,” Harry points out, chuckling. “I had a great time today. I know I’ve said that, like, a thousand times, but I really did. Thank you for helping me get over my fears. Text me?”

“‘Course,” Louis replies, because it is stupid that Harry thinks he won’t contact him at this point. The concept of not talking to Harry is just absurd to Louis’ sleep addled brain.

Harry smiles and kisses him on the cheek then he is gone. Louis hears the front door quietly shut and lays back down, intending to go back to sleep, but his mind is racing now. He sighs and decides to shower, because he agrees with Harry’s sentiment on smelling like a lake. He pops out his contacts, moaning when he finally gets to rub his eyes the way he has wanted to since he got home. When he gets in the shower, he immediately notices that he is sunburnt. It isn’t bad though. It probably would have been worse if Harry hadn’t forced him to put sunscreen on, but he would never ever tell Harry that.

Once he smells better, he notices it is too early to really fall asleep, but he lays down in his bed anyway, letting the cool sheets lay over his too warm skin. His mind wanders to his day with Harry, but something has been bothering him since he thought about it hours ago. He is out of his depth with Harry. If things ever do get sexual, he has no idea what he is doing. It feels like he is a virgin again. He hates the idea of being so inexperienced and generally not knowledgeable about an area. He likes to be ready, so he grabs his laptop and types in his favorite amateur porn website, you know, for research purposes.

Louis thinks for a few minutes about what exactly he should search, but finally shrugs and types in ‘Gay anal’ into the search bar. He scrolls down through the list of thousands for a few seconds before deciding on a video that looked slightly amateur. He doesn’t want to go for one where they just went straight into fisting or something. That sounds uncomfortable. He just wants to learn, after all. The video starts off with two dudes kissing, already naked and hard. He doesn’t feel turned on, but he keeps watching it.

The blond guy slowly kisses down the other’s torso, and Louis skips ahead a bit. He has seen someone get a blowjob, and he guesses it’s the same, regardless of gender. The dark haired guy now has his legs spread wide while the blond leans over his body, propping himself up with one arm and uses his other fingers to circle his hole. The camera then zooms in, getting a close up shot of the blond putting lube on his fingers, using his index finger to slowly enter the other’s hole. A moan slips from the mouth of the ‘bottom’, and it goes straight to Louis’ dick. It doesn’t help that his dark hair is longish, and he kind of reminds Louis of Harry. He didn’t  _ mean  _ to choose one that had a guy that sort-of-kind-of looked like Harry.

The blond slowly works his way up to three fingers with the other guy moaning and writhing beneath him, and okay, Louis is definitely turned on now. He is so hard, it almost hurts, and he has absentmindedly started palming his own dick through his shorts. The dark haired guy’s breathy moans start turning into actual words as he chants, “I’m ready. I’m ready.” When the blond starts to remove his fingers, Louis scrambles to strip off all his clothes, trying not to take his eyes from the screen. He doesn’t allow himself to even consider the fact that he is going to masturbate to gay porn.

When he looks back to the screen, the blond is lubing up his now wrapped dick then slowly, very slowly, sinks into his companion. They both moan when he bottoms out, and Louis feels like he  _ has  _ to touch himself, or he will die. He puts too much lube in his palm to help the slide and quickly grabs his own hard length, setting a harsh and quick rhythm. It turns out gay sex is very similar to straight sex, but it requires more coordination. The dark haired man’s legs are now over the shoulders of the others as he roughly fucks into him. When the blond grabs the dick of the other man and starts stroking to the rhythm of his own thrust, Louis hears a moan and realizes it came from his own lips and not his computer. He is so turned on, but he just isn’t getting there. He keeps watching the screen and slides his hand under his leg, letting one lubed up finger trace his hole.

And okay, it’s not unpleasant. He slowly, very slowly, inserts the very tip of his finger into himself, and it burns, but it still isn’t that bad. He kinda likes the stretch. Once he gets in to the second knuckle, he is so turned on the burn doesn’t matter. He forgets the porn for a minute and imagines it is Harry’s big finger inside of him. He crooks his finger a bit, and fuck, whatever just happened he felt it in his entire fucking body. His dick and balls ache from the sensation, and the pleasure has been multiplied by ten. Forgetting his computer completely, he tries to get the angle again, then plants his feet into the mattress and begins fucking up into his hands. Every time his hips come down, his finger goes in a bit deeper. Now he is moaning with abandon, not being able to decide what feels better, his finger or his hand. He feels like he is on some kind of seesaw of pleasure, not knowing which side to chase.

He can feel his orgasm building as he relentlessly fucks up into his own hand, chasing his release. His finger and wrist are starting to ache from the angle, but he doesn’t dare stop or pull away. It feels far too good. Finally, he feels his orgasm wash over him as long strips of come paint his hot, sunburnt chest and stomach. It feels like his release never stops as he works himself through it, finger still buried deep.

Once he finally comes down from the best orgasm of his life, he quickly closes all that tabs on his laptop and throws it on a pile of clothes on the floor. He wipes himself up with some tissues and throws them in the general direction of the wastebasket. His limbs feel heavy, but he feels happy and content. He curls up under the sheets and quickly falls asleep, deciding he will not think about what just happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and Comments are always welcome!  
> Follow me on my social media for updates or just to chat xx  
> Twitter: @Wicked_Archer  
> Tumblr: wicked-archer


	6. Talk Fast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis surprises Harry at work, then later that week, he goes to another one of their gigs prompting a bit of fun afterwards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a [Spotify Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/mmbrabd/playlist/3K8GDQgXDwKVDLVF6h3H1T?si=sgO-djloQzmO81_jPnYdYQ%20rel=) that will be updated weekly with the songs represented as chapter titles as well as any other songs that are featured in each chapter.

_ Leave all of your indecisions with you at home  
_ _ Don't say you're doing me a favor  
_ _ Why so complicated, won't you throw me a bone?  
_ __ I want your love in every flavor- Five Seconds of Summer

 

Louis wakes up early Tuesday morning with a plan. He is going to surprise Harry at work. He somehow managed to get the morning off, despite the fact that he and Harry always seem to work on the same days. When his alarm goes off at 9am, he is quickly rethinking this whole thing, but he still drags himself out of bed. The look of surprise and hopefully delight on Harry’s face will be well worth his own disgust for early mornings.

He uses the bathroom, brushes his teeth, then goes back to his room. He pulls on the tightest pair of skinny jeans he owns, a band T-shirt and briefly debates about fixing his hair, ultimately deciding to leave it soft and messy. He knows Harry likes it that way, not that that matters to Louis.

“Where are you going this early?” Liam asks from the kitchen. He looks sweaty, so he probably just got back from his normal morning run. Ugh, morning people. He is chugging some kind of protein drink that makes Louis scrunch up his nose in disgust.

“Fuck, Liam, why don’t you keep your nose out of my business,” Louis snaps, but instantly feels bad when Liam’s face falls. He is not a morning person, and Harry is still a touchy subject, however, he didn’t want to snap at his best friend.

Liam quickly regains his composure and smiles smugly, “You’re going to see Harry, aren’t you?”

“What makes you think that?” Louis asks instead of answering the damn question.

“Well you are wearing your tightest jeans, for starters. Seriously, Lou, how do you even get those things on?” Liam chuckles looking down at Louis’ legs.

“Magic,” Louis rolls his eyes, thinking about just leaving before Liam has a chance to go on with his explanation, but deep down inside, he is too nice of a fucking person to do that.

“I bet,” Liam replies just as sarcastically. “Getting back to the topic at hand, you would never get up this early on your day off for anyone but Harry. So my conclusion: you are going to see Harry.”

Louis kind of really wants to hit Liam in the balls to get the smug smile off his face. Why does he always have to be so right all of the time? Why does it matter if he woke up early on his day off to see Harry? That’s what friends do, right?

“Fine, Liam. You win. I am going to see Harry at the bakery. I haven’t been to see where he works yet, so I am curious,” Louis lies. He really just wants to see Harry. He hasn’t seen him since their lake trip, and he is seriously missing him. They’ve texted and stuff, but Louis really just wants to see his green eyes. His curls. His stupid adorable dimples. Him.

“Uh huh,” Liam says with another smug smile and shrug.

“Fuck off,” Louis retorts by way of ending the conversation. Before Liam gets a chance to reply, he walks out the door.

Baby Cakes is only about a 15-minute walk from Louis’ apartment. It is a nice morning, not too hot yet, so Louis doesn’t mind the walk. He listens to music through his earbuds as he maneuvers his way through people still commuting to work. If he would have done this an hour earlier, there would probably be adults (real adults) everywhere.

When he finally finds the small pink bakery standing out among the boring white and brown buildings, he takes a deep breath to steady his racing heart. He doesn’t know why he still get so nervous to see Harry. They have known each other for over a month at this point, but he still feels like his heart is about stop yet beat out of his chest at the same time. He glances at his reflection in one of the nearby shop windows and deems himself acceptable. With one more deep breath, he opens the door causing a little bell to ring announcing his arrival.

“Be right with you,” He hears Harry’s slow drawl. He can’t help the smile that takes over his features. He suddenly wishes he would have brought Harry flowers or something. He has never bought anyone flowers, but Harry seems the type to enjoy them, although, he would probably get sad when they died. The sap.

Louis walks up to the counter to wait for Harry, studying the display of baked goods. They all look delicious, and suddenly Louis is starving. When Harry finally emerges from a back door, Louis actually sees the moment that Harry recognizes who is waiting for him. His face splits into a huge bright smile, complete with dimples and sparkly eyes. “Louis! What are you doing here?”

And okay, that smile was well worth waking up at the ass crack of dawn for. Louis returns his smile, but decides to play it cool. “I woke up this morning and thought that I could really go for some fresh baked pastries. I’ve heard this place is really good. A little birdy even told me that one of the people who works here is really cute.” Louis whispers this part conspiratorially, then shrugs, “So I figured I’d check it out.”

If possible, Harry’s smile gets even bigger. Louis is starting to worry about his poor cheeks. “Oh really? That must have been some bird.”

“Yeah. Scared the piss out of me at first when it started talking, but then I actually listened to what it had to say,” Louis says, smiling again.

Harry giggles. Actually giggles at that. “Well, I am glad that the bird told you to come here. What would you like?”

Louis takes a moment to consider Harry’s appearance. His long hair is pulled into a bun at the top of his head, a few strands of dark curls falling out randomly. He is wearing a white apron that says “Baby Cakes” with their logo, but it seems to have done nothing to save his clothes. His black shirt is covered in flour, his black pants look the same, from what Louis can see of them. Only Harry could make an apron and being covered in flour a fashion statement, because he still looks great.

“What do you recommend? You’re the expert here. I know shit about baking, but I do know how to eat.”

“You like super sweet stuff right? I remember you eating a Nutella and honey sandwich the other day, which is super fucking sweet,” Harry says, putting one long index finger on his chin, mentally thinking about the options. The look of concentration on his face his fucking adorable.

“Yeah, but I will eat anything really.”

“Do you like blueberries?” Harry asks excitedly. If he squints hard enough, Louis can almost see the light bulb form above his head.

“Kind of,” Louis replies with a shrug.

“Then I have just the thing.” Harry claps his hands together once and moves to the pastry case. He places a square bar on a small round white plate. The bar looks like it has some type of graham cracker crust with blue dots throughout the yellow filling.

“What is it?” Louis eyes it skeptically because he isn’t much for fruit or anything healthy really.

“This is a Lemon Blueberry bar.” At Louis’ unconvinced expression, he laughs and adds, “It’s good! I promise. If you don’t like it, I can always get you something else.”

“Okay I will try it,” Louis resigns, but it does looks pretty tasty.

“Good! Go find a seat, and I will bring you some coffee. Caramel latte, right?” Louis just nods dumbly, because he has no idea how Harry would know his coffee order, unless it came up in some random conversation that they had, but that still doesn’t warrant him actually remembering it. Louis does as he is told and finds a table in a semi secluded corner. He hears Harry tell one of his coworkers that he’s taking a break, then appears with two cups of coffee in hand. Harry’s is iced, while Louis prefers his hot, even in the summer.

“I’m so glad you came by,” Harry starts, arranging his long limbs into the chair opposite Louis, their knees touching in a somewhat intimate gesture. Warning alarms go off in Louis’ head, but he chooses to ignore them, instead focusing on his curly haired friend.

“Yeah, I realized I had no idea where you worked,” Louis begins, but decides to be honest and adds, “And I kind of wanted to see your face.”

“Whew! Glad, I’m not the only one,” Harry says with a smile, bringing one large hand up to his chest where his heart would be. “I also wanted to see your face. Now take a bite of the Lemon Blueberry Bar.”

Louis looks down at the plate and eyes the bar suspiciously. He doesn’t really like trying new things and this pastry is new for him. He picks up his fork and pokes it, like it may run off his plate or something. He looks up at Harry who is still grinning. “I don’t know about this.”  

“For fuck’s sake, Lou, just eat the damn thing.” Harry rolls his eyes, taking Louis’ fork from his grasp. Before Louis can stop him, Harry uses the side of the fork to cut off a piece, then brings it to Louis’ lips, licking his own. At Harry’s pleading look, Louis obediently opens his mouth, and lets Harry guide the treat through his lips to his tongue. Louis quickly closes his mouth around the fork, while Harry pulls it out slowly. It suddenly feels far too sexual and hot in the bakery. Harry is just staring at his mouth, licking his lips again. Lost in his own thoughts. 

Louis shakes off that feeling to focus on the burst of flavors in his mouth. It is good. Really fucking good. The lemon balances the sweetness of the blueberries perfectly. Louis finds himself moaning as he chews and swallows. Harry is looking at him expectantly. “This is really fucking good. Tell whoever made it, that they did a great job.”

Harry blushes, and Louis is puzzled until Harry confesses in a small voice, “Um… I... umm... I actually made them.”

“What? Really? No fucking way! They are so good,” Louis enthuses, taking another bite. He has had Harry’s cooking before… the cookies on the day they had first kissed. He feels his cock twitch at the memory.

“Thank you,” Harry replies shyly, suddenly finding Louis’ fingers on the table fascinating as he begins to play with them.

Louis removes his hand from Harry’s diversion and gently places his fingers on Harry’s chin, tilting his head up. When Harry’s green eyes meets Louis’, Louis wants to kiss him, but instead he says, “Seriously. These are really good. You are a great cook or baker or whatever. You should be proud of yourself.”

“I really like to cook,” Harry admits, looking down again once Louis releases his hold. He begins to play with Louis’ fingers again, but Louis just lets him, sensing Harry wants to say something else and the distraction will help. He takes another bite as he waits for Harry to put together his thoughts. Normally, Louis would get impatient with people taking forever to reply, but with Harry he finds it endearing. He realizes that he would wait forever to hear what Harry has to say. Harry’s voice breaks him out of his thoughts. 

“It’s just that, like, my Dad, my real Dad not my Stepdad, says it is stupid. He actually said to me once that only women should bake, so I should leave it to Mom and Gemma. It really pissed me off and hurt me.”

Louis listens to his revelation, watching the memory pull Harry’s beautiful features into one of pain and hurt. He carefully tries to school his own expression into that of a neutral one, trying not to let the rage he feels boiling just below the surface show.  Harry’s dad is a dick. How could he possibly tell Harry that what he likes is not acceptable? How could someone hurt Harry?  _ You did _ , the voice in his head reminds him cynically. He ignores it, and focuses his anger towards a man he has never actually met.

Louis sighs, deciding to go with the honest approach, regardless of whether may hurt Harry’s feelings a bit. “Well, quite frankly, and I mean this in the nicest possible way, you’re Dad’s a fuckstick, Haz.”

Harry bursts out laughing. The loud laugh that normally he covers, but he doesn’t this time. Louis gives himself a mental pat on the back because this is his favorite Harry laugh. The one that he thinks is only for him. He surely hasn’t heard Harry react to anyone else that way, so he allows his features to morph into a smug expression while Harry collects himself.

“Yeah. He kind of is,” Harry agrees, smiling at Louis. Louis is glad that the smile is back on his face.

“Have you thought anymore about your major, and changing it?” Louis asks tentatively, because now he is curious.

“Yeah, actually, I have. I kind of want to change it to English. I know that’s stupid, and there isn’t much you can do with a degree in English, but I love to write. I write songs, and poems, and stories all the time,” Harry says, his speech pattern picking up with excitement.

Louis considers this for a moment, trying to come up with an angle to present it to Harry’s parents. Finally it dawns on him. “I once read an article that said one of the best majors to go to Law School with is English because it teaches you how to write properly. Writing is a crucial part of Law School as well as critical thinking. I know you don’t really want to go to Law school, but it will still be an option with English. So maybe you can talk your parents into it that way. As long as you present your argument with facts, I’m not sure how they could say no.”

Harry’s face lights up again. He is literally glowing, and Louis can’t help but match his expression. “You’re a fucking genius, Lou!” Harry exclaims, practically jumping from his chair. He lowers his voice and looks around to see if they have drawn any attention. Miraculously they have not, so he adds more quietly, “They may actually go for that. I could kiss you right now.”

Harry says it as an expression, but Louis kind of wants it to happen. His gaze lands on Harry’s lips, and he thinks that maybe Harry is thinking the same thing, as he darts a small pink tongue out to wet them. Louis wants to replace that tongue with his teeth.

“I think I will,” Harry says very slowly, leaning towards Louis. He gives him a sweet slow kiss, keeping it chaste. Harry’s lips taste like coffee which Louis will never complain about. The kiss is over too quickly for Louis’ liking, but they are in Harry’s place of work.

“I will make a goddamn PowerPoint presentation for you to help you convince them, if I have to,” Louis offers.

“That won’t be necessary,” Harry giggles, sucking another sip of coffee through his straw. Louis follows the movement, thinking, not for the first time, what those lips would look like wrapped around his dick.

“You sure? As a business major, I can make a pretty fucking mean PowerPoint,” Louis replies, laughing with Harry.

“I believe you,” Harry assures, holding up both hands in a surrendering gesture. “But yes, I’m sure.”

Louis sees Harry biting his lip in thought. He knows Harry wants to say something more; he can tell by his body language. Harry’s tattooed heart on his sleeve is an understatement. Harry wears his feelings like brightly colored clothes. The boy is so easy to read; Louis has no idea what ever made him even consider being a lawyer. He would be terrible. Louis taps Harry’s shoulder, taking a drink of his own coffee. “What is it, Hazza?”

Harry bites his lip again, looking down. He goes back to playing with Louis’ fingers on the table. His large hands are warm and strangely comforting. When Louis realizes that Harry has no intention of telling him what he is thinking, he decides to go for a different approach. “Look, I know you want to ask something. I’m not going to drop it until you do. So, you may as well go on and get it over with. It doesn’t hurt to ask.”

“You’re right,” Harry says, still not meeting Louis gaze. He bites his lip again, but Louis can see that he is actually going to ask this time. “It’s just that. You’re so good at being logical, and I’m not. I let my emotions get to me even in the best of times. I get so frustrated when I talk to my parents, but it may be easier if I have someone with me, you know? Someone who is good at talking and is logical. Someone persuasive.”

Louis knows where this is going, but decides to lighten the mood. “Hmm… I haven’t the foggiest idea of where you are going to find a guy like that.”

Harry finally meets his eyes, and gives him a very small smile. Louis will take it, “It’s you, Lou. You know that. Will you go with me?”

“Of course, I will go, Haz,” Louis says, before he even realizes he just agreed to  _ meet the parents _ . What the fuck is Louis thinking? He can’t meet Harry’s parents. That will be super fucking awkward, but he has already agreed. He can’t go back on a promise, especially one that he has made to Harry. Plus, Harry needs him. He does his best to push down the panic rising in his throat when he sees Harry flashing him a genuine smile.

“Great. I will let you know when.”

“Yeah. Great,” Louis says, somewhat distracted by his thoughts. He needs to change the subject. “So, are you all ready for your show on Friday?”

“Yeah. We are performing five songs this time,” Harry answers, holding up a hand to signify the five songs. “One is brand new. I just wrote it a few weeks ago, so I am kind of anxious about it. I always get nervous performing new songs.”

“I’m sure it is amazing, Haz. Don’t be nervous. I kind of admire what you do on stage. I don’t think I could ever do it,” Louis admits, eating the last bite of his treat.

“Really?” At Louis’ nod, Harry continues. “We are rehearsing every day this week leading up to it. The other songs we have performed before, but I want the new song to be perfect.”

“Will you tell me what you are playing?” Louis tries, knowing it’s a long shot, but god dammit, he is super curious. He wants to know what has Harry so excited.

“Nope,” Harry says, popping the ‘p’.

“Come on! I really wanna know,” Louis begs.

“No,” Harry says vehemently, shaking his head and laughing.

“No fair,” Louis pouts, looking down and crossing both arms in front of his chest causing Harry to laugh louder.

“You’ll see. Wait, you are coming, right?” Harry asks, looking a bit panicked.

Louis is quick to reassure, “Of course I’m coming. Wouldn’t miss it. Liam is coming, too.”

“Great,” Harry says smiling. “I really should head back. I’ll see you Saturday.”

“Yeah,” Louis confirms, standing up with Harry. Before he can stop himself, he goes up on his tippy toes to lay a chaste kiss on Harry’s warm cheek. Harry’s hand immediately comes up to touch the spot Louis lips were, a stunned but fond smile taking over his features. Louis exits the shop without another word, but he glances quickly back at Harry as he walks out the door. He is still standing there dumbfounded, but looking happy. This makes Louis smile.

 

__________

  
  


“Ready to go, Ni?” Harry asks, grabbing his keys and cell phone, looking at the notification from Louis then quickly replying before Niall catches him.

“Yeah. Yeah, hold your horses,” Niall grumbles, grabbing his own items.

“We told Ash and Cal we would be at their place in 5 minutes and that was 5 minutes ago,” Harry says exasperatedly. He is feeling anxious about practice since it is the first time they are going to be performing his new song all together. They have all played it separately, working on their pieces and the melody in their own time, but this is the first day they will put it all together. It needs to be perfect by Friday night, and they don’t have a lot of time.

Harry and Niall exit the building, making their way to Harry’s vehicle, since his is big enough to hold their bulky guitar cases. Niall brings both his electric and acoustic, wanting to see what each member of the band thinks about the sound with the new song. Harry knows he just wants his acoustic and is leaning towards Niall playing the electric, like normal.

The drive to their friends’ place is quick. He is thankful that Ashton and Calum have got a three-bedroom apartment, making the third room their ‘studio’. They tried not to be too loud, but it was impossible with drums, so they made it a point not to practice too early in the morning or after dark, being mindful of neighbors. They carry their equipment to the apartment and don’t bother knocking as they enter the living space.

“Y’all are late,” Ashton exclaims from somewhere in the living room.

Harry chuckles and makes his way towards the voice. “Blame Niall. He just  _ had  _ to fix his hair.”

“Awe, Ni, are you trying to impress me?” Ashton inquires, putting a hand over his heart. “I’m honored, but you’re not my type, no offence. Harry though? Harry would be perfect, plus or minus a few parts.” With that comment, Ashton winks at Harry. Harry snorts on a laugh thinking that Ashton and Louis would get along splendidly. They have very similar senses of humor. Sarcasm.

“Thanks, dickhead,” Niall says in mock offence, ruffling Ashton’s dirty blond curly hair. “But Harry is taken.” Thanks to that comment, Harry realizes that Niall has just thrown him head first under the proverbial bus.  

“Oh, really? That’s news. You and the boy toy official?” Ashton asks, seemingly genuinely interested.

“No,” Harry says, glaring at Niall. Niall just smiles smugly in response. Harry isn’t a violent guy, but he really wants to punch him for bringing up Louis. Now Ash would never let it drop, ribbing him good naturedly for the rest of the afternoon.

“Louis is all he ever talks about. He texts him constantly with a disgustingly fond smile on his face. I swear, I almost barfed the other day when he got back from their date and was ridiculously giddy. He apparently carried a sleeping Louis into his room. How cute. It’s all I heard about for three whole days. How cute Louis is when he sleeps. Louis’ long eyelashes. The sounds Louis makes when he’s asleep. How small he looked curled up in the passenger seat. I tell ya, I wanted to slit my fucking wrists,” Niall says dramatically. Harry’s cheeks are on fire from his recounting of the story. He is going to fucking kill Niall, after the show, of course. He kind of needs him to impress Louis, and they don’t have time to train another lead guitar player.

Ashton’s amused gaze lands on Harry with a huge smile. Like he is happy for him or something. “That sounds pretty serious, Haz. A date and all of that.”

“It wasn’t a date,” Harry insists, feeling a bit defensive. “We just went to the lake. Swam around a bit.”

“Louis convinced him, actually  _ convinced  _ him, to go out on the lake in a fucking canoe,” Niall tells their friend with a smile.

At that, Ashton whips his head around to really look at Harry with a shocked expression on his face. Harry’s fear of water is no secret among his friends, always refusing to jump off a diving board or to go white water rafting.

“But you hate deep water. You won’t even let me convince you to go in water over 6 feet high,” Ashton says, sounding a little hurt, but his eyes are sparkling like he knows a secret.

“It’s not a big deal,” Harry defends, looking down at his feet, not wanting to meet either of his friends’ accusing gazes. “We were wearing life jackets, and stuff. I trust Louis.” He adds the last part with a murmur.

“I think it’s cute,” Niall supplies. When Harry finally looks up, Niall’s blue eyes are sparkling, a big smile displayed on his pale face.

“Come on, Cal is already in the studio dickin’ around on his bass.” Ashton grins with his dimples popping, rolling his eyes. Harry is so thankful for the change of subject, he actually feels his body relax. The other two men follow Ashton through the apartment and into the designated room. Sure enough, Calum is sat on a stool, fiddling with his beloved bass, a beanie covering his black hair, despite the summer heat.

“So, I was thinking we could practice the new song,” Harry starts impatiently.

“You mean the one you wrote for your lover boy?” Ashton asks, sitting on the stool of his drum kit, hitting a few at random.

“I did not,” Harry cries, scrunching up his nose, not wanting to get into this again, but he can feel the blush rising in betrayal on his cheeks. He knows Ashton will not miss the opportunity to tease him, the bastard. He couldn’t help it if Louis is an inspiration for his writing lately. It honestly wasn’t his fault that Louis is so lovely. If they knew Louis like Harry knows him, they would probably write a dozen songs about him, too. He is just so bright. Like the fucking sun. Honestly, how could someone not write a song about him?

“You are a terrible liar. Anyone ever told you that?” Calum pipes in. He is normally the quiet one of their group, but when he does comment, they all listen.

“Yes.” Harry rolls his eyes, again, thinking of Louis. Louis has told him that. Daily. Sometimes, though, Harry hates that he can’t read Louis the way Louis reads him. It is so frustrating. Louis is good at keeping his expressions indifferent, regardless of the situation, and his body language also gives nothing away. It is infuriating for someone who wears his emotions like a fucking badge.

“Alright, guys, let’s stop teasing Harry, and get on with practice. It needs to be perfect by Friday,” Niall says, clapping his hands in front of his body, seeming to sense Harry’s discomfort. He is so grateful for Niall.

“Spoilsport,” Ashton pouts, but starts to beat out a rhythm on his drum kit.

Practice goes swimmingly from then on out, the other men only throwing in a few good natured jabs at Harry periodically, especially when they practice the new song. Harry sends a very short Snapchat to Louis of them playing it to tease him. Louis sent back a selfie of his grumpy face with text declaring the unfairness of it all. It is adorable. Of course Harry gets teased for snapchatting Louis, but he is slowly getting used to it. Louis is becoming a huge part of his life, and he knows before long, he will be a part of their lives too. He just needs to give Louis time. Every now and again, Harry will see a look of worry pass over Niall’s features when they bring up Louis, but it is gone before Harry can really think about it.

 

_________

  
  


“Fucking finally,” Louis exclaims when he sees a peek of Harry’s pointed toe gold boots under the curtain. Harry’s band seems to be finally sitting up for their performance. He knows he has been driving Liam crazy. He is jittery with an anxious energy he doesn’t recognize. His leg keeps shaking the table from its consistent bouncing. He tries his best not to pick at his cuticles, knowing Harry would scold him, so he is constantly moving his hands, drumming his fingers on the table, clapping on his jean clad thighs. They had to sit through the first three mediocre performances. Well maybe they weren’t mediocre, but nothing is impressing Louis at the moment. Not until Harry takes the stage.

“Louis, you are killing me. Will you calm down? What the hell has gotten into you?” Liam asks, putting one firm hand on Louis’ knee to steady his shaking leg.

Louis rolls his eyes by way of a response, because he doesn’t want to tell Liam what has gotten into him. Harry. Harry has gotten into him. Well, not literally, but you know. Louis has been impossibly curious about this new song, then Harry sending him that Snapchat a few days ago didn’t help matters. He just wants to hear it already. He loves getting small glimpses into Harry’s mind. The way his brain works. It is all very fascinating. Harry is so observant and has a memory like a fucking elephant. He is brilliant, really.

Louis spends the next ten minutes trying his hardest not to fidget, so Liam would let him live through the show. At one point, Liam gets up to get them drinks because he can’t handle Louis’ unease. The drinking is helping his nerves somewhat. He is pretty tipsy at this point because Liam keeps getting him drinks to help calm him down.

Finally, the curtains open, and Louis gets to take in Harry’s appearance. He is wearing a pale yellow lace shirt that is completely see through, the black outline of his tattoos peeking out through the natural holes in the material. Of course he only has about 3 buttons done up. He has paired the shirt with a pair of impossibly tight, black, skinny jeans. Seriously, how does he even get those on? They look sinful. He gives Louis a huge grin when Louis’ gaze lands on his face. Louis knows he has been caught checking Harry out, but what can he say, he is a weak man.

“Good evening, everyone,” Harry starts, waving at the crowd. He looked a bit nervous, but comfortable enough. “My name is Harry Styles. These are my band mates Niall, Ashton, and Calum, and we are Temporary Fix. Tonight we will be performing five songs. Three are covers but two are originals. I really hope you enjoy. Stick around after the show to hang out with us!”

The first song they play is  _ Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked  _ by Cage the Elephant. Their version isn’t much different than the original, and Louis finds himself enjoying it, clapping along the beat, watching Harry own the stage, free of his guitar for the time being. He really is a natural, even though his dancing is pretty terrible, in an adorable way.

Their next song is another country song that Louis vaguely remembers Harry listening to on their trip home from the lake. He doesn’t know the name or artist, but he likes the way Harry sings it. Of course he adds his own rock flare, which makes it amazing.

For the third song, their set list moves to a rock version of  _ Fucking Perfect _ by P!nk.  Louis isn’t surprised in the least that Harry is a fan of P!nk since she’s all about girl power and strong females. Harry closes his eyes while he sings this song, playing his guitar softly. Every now and again, during the chorus, Harry looks at him and smiles softly. Louis kind of feels like he is singing to him. A shiver goes through his entire body at that thought.

“Alright, our next song is brand new. I just wrote it few weeks ago, so forgive us if it isn’t perfect,” Harry starts, and okay here goes. Suddenly Louis’s heart feels like it is going to beat out of his chest, and all of his blood rushes to his ears. He feels like he may throw up from all of the nerves, but he takes a deep steadying breath. He vaguely registers Liam’s strong hand patting his back gently.

“We really hope you enjoy it,” Harry continues, winking at Louis. Okay he is really going to throw up now. “This is  _ Happily _ .”

_ You don't understand, you don't understand _ _   
_ _ What you do to me when you hold her hand _ _   
_ _ We were meant to be but a twist of fate _ _   
_ __ Made it so you had to walk away

_ 'Cause we're on fire _ _   
_ _ We are on fire _ _   
_ _ We're on fire now _ _   
_ _ Yeah, we're on fire _ _   
_ _ We are on fire _ _   
_ __ We're on fire now

_ I don't care what people say when we're together _ _   
_ _ You know I wanna be the one to hold you when you sleep _ _   
_ _ I just want it to be you and I forever _ _   
_ _ I know you wanna leave _ _   
_ _ So c'mon baby be with me _ _   
_ __ So happily

_ It's four a.m. and I know that you're with her _ _   
_ _ I wonder if she knows that I touched your skin _ _   
_ _ And if she feels my traces in your hair _ _   
_ __ Sorry, love, but I don't really care

_ 'Cause we're on fire _ _   
_ _ We are on fire _ _   
_ _ We're on fire now _ _   
_ _ Yeah, we're on fire _ _   
_ _ We are on fire _ _   
_ __ We're on fire now

_ I don't care what people say when we're together _ _   
_ _ You know I wanna be the one to hold you when you sleep _

_ I just want it to be you and I forever _ _   
_ _ I know you wanna leave _ _   
_ _ So c'mon baby be with me _ _   
_ _ So happily _ _   
_ _ So happily _ _   
_ __ One, two, three, four!

_ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh _ _   
_ _ We're on fire now _ _   
_ _ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh _ _   
_ _ We're on fire now _ _   
_ _ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh _ _   
_ __ We're on fire now

_ I don't care what people say when we're together _ _   
_ _ You know I wanna be the one to hold you when you sleep _ _   
_ _ I just want it to be you and I forever _ _   
_ _ I know you wanna leave _ _   
_ _ So c'mon baby be with me _ _   
_ __ So happily

_ I don't care what people say when we're together  
_ _ You know I wanna be the one to hold you when you sleep  
_ _ I just want it to be you and I forever  
_ _ I know you wanna leave  
_ _ So c'mon baby be with me  
_ __ So happily

With the last line, Harry looks right at Louis in the crowd with a small smile. Louis is stunned. Just stunned. He is sure he looks like a fish out of water, gaping open mouthed at the stage, barely clapping along with the rest of the crowd. He just. He doesn’t know how to feel. Sure, Harry may not have written that for him, but if he did. Wow. Nobody has ever written a song for him much less one telling him to give their relationship a chance. He feels like he can’t breathe.

“Lou, ya alright?” Liam asks, concern evident in his tone.

Louis tampers down his rising panic, choosing to ignore it, like always. He takes a few deep breaths and concentrates on what is going on around them. Harry is introducing the next song, his voice slow and deep. Soothing to Louis’ shot nerves. He is going to file that song away with the list of other things he will choose not to think about this summer. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he finally answers Liam.

Liam doesn’t look convinced, but before he gets a chance to argue, the band starts playing  _ Medicine _ . This is a great distraction, Louis thinks, as he watches Harry point to his mouth with the line  _ up to your mouth, feeling it out, feeling it out _ . The whole thing is just as obscene as the first time, maybe more so because it seems like Harry is showing off for him, his crotch humping the mic stand, licking his lips, and winking, all done in the direction of Louis. Louis is hard. Painfully so. Completely forgetting about  _ Happily,  _ he just watches Harry. Beautiful, sinful Harry. The most interesting combination of innocence and sex. Louis feels warm. So very warm.

Harry winks and grins at Louis one last time before the curtain closes and Louis releases a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding. Jesus, that was intense. He is feeling so many conflicting emotions, he isn’t sure which one to focus on. One thing is for sure, he is still hard and really fucking horny. Turns out watching Harry sing about sucking dick does it for him. He already knew that though from their first night here. That was a fucking disaster.

 

_________

 

“I think that went great,” Harry exclaims, starting to pack up their equipment once the curtain has closed. He still feels anxious. He tried to watch Louis’ expressions during Happily, but, as always, Louis didn’t give away much. He noticed that Louis seemed nervous and jittery through the whole performance, though.

“Yeah, but I fucked up the drums during the second chorus of Happily,” Ashton says, disappointment lacing the words.

“Eh, it was a new song. Nobody could tell,” Calum reassures, clapping his friend on the back.

“Yeah, Ash, don’t be hard on yourself,” Niall chimes in. They all fall into companionable silence, trying to get it all done so they can go relax and have a drink.

When Harry approaches the table, he notices Louis is lost in thought, staring off into the distance while Liam plays on his phone. He is barely blinking or breathing, so Harry approaches carefully, putting one large hand on his shoulder.

Louis jumps at the touch, but quickly relaxes when he sees that is Harry. “Sorry, I was a bit lost in my own head there,” he says with a chuckle that doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

“I could see that,” Harry replies, sitting down next to him. The table is small, so in order to make room, he is touching Louis from shoulder to foot. Niall leaves to get them all drinks.

Like last time, other tables were moved to make room for a dance floor. Couples are already littering it, moving their bodies to the beat of the music. Harry wants to ask Louis to dance, but hasn’t quite got up the nerve. Instead, he listens to the conversation as it flows freely. As Harry predicted, Louis and Ashton get along like a house on fire, constantly feeding off of each other’s sense of humor. More than once, he and Liam share eye rolls at Louis and Ashton’s antics. Harry is so happy that all of them seem to like one another. Even quiet Calum has started a conversation with Liam, heads bowed, talking quietly. He smiles when he feels Louis’ warm palm on his thigh.

Harry takes a few deep steadying breaths. It’s now or never it seems, so he taps Louis’ shoulder to grab his attention. He almost loses his nerve when Louis’ beautiful blue eyes land on his own, “Doyouwannadance?” Harry asks in a rush. It was supposed to be a question, but it all came out as one word. Harry grimaces while Louis laughs.

“What was that, Curly?” Louis asks, smile in place. Louis hasn’t called him that in a while, but he doesn’t mind. Louis has so many nicknames for him at this point, he has lost track. He briefly wonders if he has the most out all of Louis’ friends. Louis looks at him expectantly. Right, yeah, he was supposed to be talking.

“Umm…” He clears his throat. Jesus he can sing in front of dozens of people but asking a cute boy to dance seems like the hardest feat in existence. He downs the rest of his drink, and tries again, “Do you… uhh… maybe… umm… Wanna dance?”

He feels his expression morphing into one of hope, trying to silently convince Louis to say yes. Louis considers it for a moment, clearly uncomfortable with the question. Just as Harry is ready to backtrack, Louis says, “Sure”, with a small smile. Harry can’t stop himself from grinning at Louis like a loon. He knows his dimples are popping and his cheeks ache from how big his smile is, but he can’t help it. Louis agreed to dance with him. Before Louis can change his mind, Harry grabs his smaller hand in his own.

“We are going to dance,” he tells the table, pulling Louis behind him before anyone can say anything.

“Haz, I don’t really know how to dance,” Louis shouts in his ear because the music is so loud right next to the speaker.

“It’s easy, just follow me,” Harry says, turning around so his back is to Louis’ chest. Their height difference makes it a bit challenging. Thank god for leg day because Harry has to crouch a bit to get their hips to align, giving his thighs a good workout. He grabs Louis’ small hands and places them on his own hips, keeping them there with his hands, then starts swaying to the beat. He doesn’t know what Louis was so worried about. He is good at keeping rhythm, better than Harry really.

After a few minutes of this, Harry decides to tease Louis a bit. After all, it is his favorite past-time. The song switches to something sexy, so he starts really grinding his ass against Louis’ cock while he flips his hair over his shoulder. He hears Louis gasp in shock, even over the music. He doesn’t let Louis see the smile that graces his features. Louis keeps up with him, grinding his now hardening cock on Harry’s ass, and oh, this is new.

Fuck, Harry is getting hard in his pants. He didn’t expect Louis to actually respond and tease back. The asshole. The hard baseline of the music flows through him but all he can feel is Louis. He continues to grind, bending over a few times when it makes sense with the music. He can feel Louis’ hot breath on his neck, and his small fingers gripping his hips like a vice, right over his laurel tattoos. Suddenly, he feels Louis lick a small strip of skin where his neck meets his shoulder. Harry lets a low moan escape from his mouth, and now he really is hard. Louis continues to bite and kiss his neck and ear, while his fingertips dig even harder into Harry’s hips, probably leaving bruises.

When the song switches, Harry turns around to face Louis, putting one long leg between Louis’, grinding his erection on Louis’ thigh. Louis reacts beautifully, moaning in his ear, using small strong hands to grab Harry’s ass, pulling him impossibly closer. There isn’t enough room between their chests for a piece of paper, and they may look indecent, but Harry doesn’t give a fuck at the moment, not when Louis pulls his hair to the side and begins trailing hot kisses along his shoulder, neck, jawline, then finally landing on his lips.

There is no pretense of chastity when their lips finally meet in a searing kiss, tongues delving into each other’s mouth. Harry is pleased when he realizes Louis doesn’t taste like cigarettes, instead, whatever sweet cocktail Louis has been drinking tonight. Harry doesn’t even know if what they are doing any more is considered dancing so much as humping while making out.

“Bathroom,” Harry mumbles in between kisses, grabbing Louis by both hands and leading them towards the men’s restroom. When they get in, Harry pushes a very surprised Louis into the biggest stall, quickly following and locking the door. He takes moment to appreciate Louis’ appearance. Louis’ pupils are blown, lips kissed pink, and is sporting a raging hard on through his pants. Harry licks his lips subconsciously, wanting to taste.  

Harry lunges for Louis again, pushing him against the wall and sealing their lips in another punishing kiss. He moans when Louis bites his bottom lip, reaching one hand up to pull Harry’s curls. Harry starts palming Louis’ erection through his jeans, moaning when his own grinds against Louis’ firm thighs. He feels Louis’ warm hand come up to the opening of his shirt, palming his chest.

Harry stops kissing for a second, looking at Louis’ fucked out expression. Louis looks breathtaking with his messy hair, puffy lips, and cock straining against his jeans. Louis whines at the loss of contact. Gods, Harry has to taste him, so he drops down to his knees in one swift movement.

Louis’ eyes widen when he comprehends what Harry wants to do. Harry rest his fingers on the button of Louis’ jeans in a silent question. “Fuck, yeah, Haz. Want you,” Louis says, his voice rough. Harry’s painful cock twitches in his pants.

Harry shakily unbuttons Louis’ jeans, pulling both them and his underwear down to his knees, allowing Louis’ erection to spring free. It is thick and red, a blue vein popping out on the underside that Harry wants to lick. He looks up at Louis one last time for confirmation, and at Louis’ nod, he licks his lips then give the tip of Louis’ cock a lick of its own.

He begins swirling his tongue around the head, slowly bringing a hand up to cup Louis’ balls. He hears Louis moan from the contact. He then, very carefully, feeds the rest of Louis’ cock into his mouth, getting it wet. Relaxing his throat and enjoying the stretch in his jaw, Harry moans. He gets it to the point where his nose is touching Louis’ trimmed pubic hair, breathing in the scent that is just so very  _ Louis _ .  He bobs his head up and down for a few minutes, trying different techniques to get a reaction out of Louis. Louis’ moans are going straight to his painfully hard cock, so he palms it, the sounds almost becoming too much.

He can feel Louis’ subtly buck his hips into Harry’s mouth, so Harry decides to show off a little. He looks up at Louis, mouth still around his cock, and places his hands behind his back. He sees the moment that Louis’ registers what he wants because his eyes go dark. It’s like a switch goes off in Louis when he grabs Harry’s hair roughly, and starts fucking into Harry’s mouth, the pain and pleasure ratio becoming too much for Harry’s neglected cock. He tries to relax his throat, but tears are beginning to come to his eyes from Louis’ cock constantly hitting the back of his throat. God he loves feeling used sometimes. Louis begins spouting out filth, his voice light raspy.

“You look so pretty with my dick in your mouth, baby,” Louis says, and Harry moans. Jesus. He thought Louis would be a talker, but fuck, actually hearing it does something to him.

“You have no idea what I have been dreaming of doing to your mouth. Those pretty red lips were made to be wrapped around my dick,” Louis continues, tracing a thumb where Harry’s lips are connected tightly.

“You like sucking dick don’t you, love?” Louis asks, so Harry nods, not releasing his hold on his own hands, keeping them firmly behind his back.

“Fuck, Harry, you feel so good. So good for me. I don’t know how much longer I’m gonna last,” Louis moans, fucking harder. The tears are streaming freely down Harry’s face, but he is so turned on he doesn’t know what to do. He is now moaning around Louis’ cock with abandon. He can feel his own hips humping the air, searching for friction. He can’t take it anymore, so releases his hand and quickly unbuttons his pants. He doesn’t bother pushing them down, he just reaches his own hand into his underwear to wrap around his painfully hard cock. He moans at the touch. He begins timing his movements to Louis’ thrust using his own precome to help the glide.

“You need to be quiet, Haz. Someone may hear you. You wouldn’t want that would you?” At that question, Harry moans, flattening his tongue on the underside of Louis’ hard length because he kind of does want that. Even more turned on by thought of getting caught, he can feel his orgasm approaching, the tight ball in his gut starting to unwind.

“Fuck, Harry. You do want that don’t you? You want everyone in this bar to know that you have my dick in your mouth. Filling up that big mouth of yours. You can't even talk around it. You’re so filthy,” Louis says, and that does it for Harry. He comes all over his shirt and jeans, moaning through it. He doesn’t give himself time to come down, instead sucking Louis with newly found vigor. He grabs Louis’ hips and starts meeting his thrusts. Louis moans loudly, a string of curse words leaving his lips.

“Fuck, Harry, fuck. Pull off! I’m gonna come-” Harry feels Louis’ hand yank his hair, but he tightens his hold, refusing to release Louis’ cock, needing to taste him. “Fuck, Harry-” Louis moans as his hot come starts shooting down Harry’s throat. He quickly swallows, enjoying the salty taste that is Louis.

After a several seconds, could be hours, but Harry is too fucked out to know, Louis must start to feel sensitive because gently he pulls Harry off his softening cock, and helps him from his knees. Harry grabs some toilet paper to wipe his filthy hand off, then tucks Louis back into his pants, quickly buttoning and zipping them with nimble fingers. He pats the area once he is finished, and Louis chuckles. Louis looks fucked out, but satisfied. 

“Oh god, Harry, do you need me to,” Louis gestures towards Harry’s crotch awkwardly. He must not have realized Harry had already gotten himself off. Embarrassment heats Harry cheeks.

“Umm... I already…” Harry trails off vaguely.

Louis’ eyes widen when he realizes what Harry means. “What? When?”

“When I was sucking you off,” Harry answers. “You have a filthy mouth, Lou,” he adds, letting his features melt into a smirk.

“That’s so fucking hot, Haz,” Louis says, grabbing him and kissing him. He must be able to taste his own come, but that doesn’t deter him as he slides his tongue into Harry’s mouth. He pulls away before it gets too heated again. He brings both dainty hands to Harry’s cheeks, cupping his strong jawline, carefully and gently wiping away the tears that had collected there from battling his own gag reflex. It feels strangely intimate, more so than even the blow job he just gave. They are still in the small stall and are both a mess. Harry has come all over his pants and shirt, but fuck was he happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and Comments are always welcome!  
> Follow me on my social media for updates or just to chat xx  
> Twitter: @Wicked_Archer  
> Tumblr: wicked-archer


	7. Let’s See What the Night Can Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Louis attend a baseball game together before Louis helps Harry conquer another of his fears in his own unique way...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a [Spotify Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/mmbrabd/playlist/3K8GDQgXDwKVDLVF6h3H1T?si=sgO-djloQzmO81_jPnYdYQ%20rel=) that will be updated weekly with the songs represented as chapter titles as well as any other songs that are featured in each chapter.

_ I wanna get lost with you _ _   
_ _ And hide out, out under the light of the moon _ _   
_ _ I wanna get lost with you _ _   
_ _ And see what it's like to spend the whole night _ _   
_ _ With you, just you _ _   
_ __ You, just you- Jason Mraz

“Do you see them yet?” Louis asks Liam, squinting against the sun despite his sunglasses.

“Lou, calm down, I am sure they will be here,” Liam responds for what seems like the seventh time, thank the gods he has an endless amount of patience. A lesser man would have strangled Louis by now.

“It took me days to convince Haz to come; I even had to call him on the phone,” Louis says outraged, remembering the conversation he had, begging Harry to join them at the event. He knew there was no way Harry could say ‘no’ to him when he heard his voice, texting was different. “You know how much he hates sports. He finds football fucking boring, of course he is going to be bored during a minor league baseball game.”

“Oh, please. Harry would do anything you ask him to and you know it,” Liam replies, rolling his eyes as he pulls his baseball cap off of his head to wipe his sweaty forehead with the back of his hand.

“I’ll have you know, I can be very persuasive.”

“Yeah, you seemed pretty persuasive Friday night when it looked like you and Haz were one person attached at the mouth,” Liam teases, cocking an eyebrow at Louis, clearly watching for his reaction.

Louis splutters. This is the first time Liam has mentioned their dance floor activities. He wasn’t about to tell him about what happened in the bathroom, what he has been referring to in his head as the blow-job-that-changed-his-fucking-DNA. He knows Liam and the others knew something was up when they emerged looking fucked out and downright giddy with suspicious white stains all over them. He wasn’t thinking about that. When he did, his dick would twitch, and that would be awkward with Liam staring at him, waiting for a response.

Louis manages nonchalance, “We were drunk.”

“You were not. You had a little to drink beforehand, but most of that wore off throughout the show then afterwards. You barely had anything to drink for the last two hours. Don’t give me that shit,” Liam calls him on it, pointing one finger accusingly. Louis wanted to strangle his ridiculously observant friend.

“So we were dancing, not a big deal,” Louis defends again, feeling his hackles rise at Liam’s accusing tone.

“Bullshit, Lou! You were practically his pole. You were eating each other’s faces. You both had hard-ons.  Fuck, it was downright indecent,” Liam says, and Louis glares at him. Liam’s eyes soften and he adds, “Look, I don’t care what you do with Harry. You know that. I support you no matter what, but don’t convince yourself that whatever you are doing is something that bros do. It’s not. It’s something that couples do.”

Louis rolls his eyes, but his insides feel like they are in knots. Liam used the word ‘couple’. Louis’ heart feels like it is in his throat, but he tries to swallow it down. He knows, logically, that he and Harry do the things that couples do, but he doesn’t want to acknowledge it. He also kind of wants to kill Liam for forcing him to think about it and continuing to give him those stupid fucking puppy dog eyes when he wants to drop the conversation.

He sighs, finally, giving in. “Look Liam. I don’t want to talk about it. I am trying not to think about it.” When Liam looks like he is about to say something, Louis quickly continues, his tone becoming frantic. “If I think about it, I will start second guessing everything. I will stop this… whatever it is we are doing, and I don’t think I really want to stop. I am really trying to explore things with Harry, but letting myself think about those things makes me freak the fuck out. So I don’t.”

Liam looks unconvinced, and Louis can tell there is a rebuttal on the tip of his tongue when he is saved from the very uncomfortable conversation by a loud voice he would recognize anywhere. He looks up to see Niall and Harry making their way up the stands. Harry is wearing a pair of shorts and a tank top, aviators perched on his nose and hair down, brushing past his shoulders. Rays of sunlight highlight the beautiful caramel colored streaks scattered throughout his curls, making him look like some kind of angel.

“Sorry we’re almost late! I had to convince this one that he should not wear skinny jeans and a floral shirt to a baseball game,” Niall says, gesturing towards Harry with his comment, rolling his eyes at his other two friends. Louis smirks at Harry because he knows that is exactly what Harry would do. Harry looks down shyly with a small smile in response.

“Eh, it’s just baseball, you wouldn’t have missed much,” Liam shrugs. It is then that Louis notices Harry is holding something in one large palm, but he can’t make out what it is. Harry then plops down in front of Louis, stretching his long legs out on the bleacher in front of him which is unoccupied. Louis stops breathing when he realizes Harry is now sitting in between his legs, comfortably. He isn’t leaning back, but Louis kind of very much wants him to. Niall takes a seat next to Liam, talking animatedly about the game that has just started.

“You haven’t been here for five minutes yet and you already look bored,” Louis comments, watching Harry.

“I’m not, plus I brought back up,” Harry says, waving the object in his hand in front of Louis’ face. He now recognizes that it is a book, and of fucking course Harry would bring a book to a sporting event. He isn’t even a little surprised. Louis only reads when he had to, much preferring other activities, like having fun.

Louis rolls his eyes as he watches Harry prop open the book, carefully taking out the bookmark and pushing it into another section of the paperback for safe keeping. As he, Niall, and Liam watch the game, yelling or clapping at the appropriate moments, he notices Harry slowly leaning back towards his crotch. Louis knows what he wants to do. He rolls his eyes again, he can’t let his friends know that he wants this too, but he grabs Harry’s shoulders and gently settles him into the spot between his knees. Harry goes easily, relaxing back into the cradle of Louis’ legs, sighing happily. Louis is shocked by how normal it feels.

He disregards the feeling, again, and goes back to watching the game, although, if he is honest with himself, he is watching Harry more than the game. Harry reading may be the most adorable act he has ever witnessed. His brows are drawn in concentration as he comprehends the words on the page. Occasionally he will giggle or outright laugh at something he reads. This makes Louis smile because it is downright endearing. On one laugh, he decides to poke one finger into Harry’s dimple, wanting his attention.

“What was that for?” Harry asks, looking up from the book to meet Louis’ gaze.

“You laugh when you read. It’s cute,” Louis says in his ear, not wanting Liam to overhear their conversation. He doesn’t need another exchange with Liam like the last one, no thank you.

“Oh, shit! I’m sorry. That’s weird isn’t it? My ex would always say it was creepy, so I try not to do it when I am around people,” Harry blushes, avoiding Louis gaze.

Louis feels rage bubble somewhere deep inside of him. He suddenly has the urge to find Harry’s ex and set him on fire for trying to change one quirky thing about Harry. He likes that Harry is weird and not afraid to be himself. He has the sneaky suspicion that his ex is also responsible for Harry covering his loud dorky laugh. “Well your ex sounds like a major fuckwit.”

“He is,” Harry smiles, putting his bookmark back in his book and sitting it down next to him on the bleacher, giving Louis his full attention. Louis feels pleased.

“Maybe you should have better taste in men,” Louis says, clocking Harry’s reaction.

“I think I do now.” Harry gives Louis a meaningful expression. Louis has no idea how to reply, but he doesn’t have to when Harry brings his hands up to his hair, pulling the curls off his neck. “Fuck it’s hot out here.”

“It is,” Louis supplies. “But I brought your hair tie because I figured you would forget.” He pulls the bright pink elastic hair tie from around his wrist and gathers Harry’s soft unruly curls in his nimble fingers. He has made many a ponytail in his life due to the fact that he has way too many sisters. He quickly and expertly ties Harry’s hair up into a bun, then blows cool air on the back of his slick neck.

“Thank you,” Harry says, leaning back again, but keeping his face towards Louis. He looks so pretty in the sun; it almost takes Louis breath away. Louis’ gaze flickers down to his lips, and suddenly is met with the image from Friday night. Harry’s pretty red lips wrapped sinfully around his dick, attempting to suck his soul out. It was the best blowjob Louis had ever received even though it was in a dirty bathroom stall where anyone could have walked in. He shivers thinking about how much that seemed to turn Harry on, feeling his dick go half hard in his shorts.

“No problem,” Louis responds, quickly pecking Harry’s lips because he can’t help himself.

He hears Liam clear his throat, watching their exchange with interest. “Why did you have a hair tie around your wrist? Your hair has never been that long.”

Fuck, Louis thought Liam wasn’t paying attention to them. Why did his friend have to be so goddamn nosy all the time? Niall is just sitting beside him, blue eyes shining, a huge grin splitting his face like he has a secret that Liam is not in on. Louis goes for nonchalance, but knows he doesn’t pull it off this time when he says, “Harry left it our place the last time he was over. I saw it and grabbed it thinking he may need it today since it so hot out. No big deal.”

“I see,” Liam says doubtfully, watching them both curiously, like he is trying to figure out a very difficult puzzle, but doesn’t have the right pieces yet.

__________

__  
  


“Wait so the catcher, this dude right here,” Harry points at the man kneeling behind home plate with a face mask on, “Signals the pitcher with what kind of pitch he should throw? Shouldn’t he know that? What makes the catcher the expert?”

“Yes, the catcher signals the pitcher, but it’s complicated. The catcher is the one of the smartest people on the field because he is the only one that can see the whole field from his vantage point. He also gets signals from the manager,” Louis explains, pointing to a burly looking man with a red face furiously chewing gum. Bless him, Louis has spent the last 20 minutes answering all of Harry’s questions about the game, not once getting annoyed or frustrated. Liam and Niall would chime in occasionally with an explanation, but for the most part, it has been Louis.

Harry stares at the catcher for a few moments, noticing something interesting. “Why are his nails painted?”

“Oh, it makes it easier for the pitcher to see the signals. A lot of catchers paint their nails a bright color because of that,” Louis supplies, wrapping his arms around Harry’s shoulders. Harry is quite content in the cradle of Louis’ legs. In fact, he doesn’t ever want to move. He is even having fun watching the game with Louis. Louis is the first person to answer his endless questions about sports, so it makes it more fun because he is beginning to understand the game. Kind of.

“Oh that makes sense! I like that. I used to paint my nails. I haven’t in a while though, for whatever reason,” Harry says, smiling at Louis. All the sun they have been getting lately is making freckles form all over Louis’ cheeks and nose. Harry wants to connect the dots then kiss each one of them. He can’t stop himself from raising one long finger to trace a few, smiling goofily. “I like your freckles.”

“I hate them. The damn things multiply in the summer.” Louis rolls his eyes with a small smile.

“I think they are cute,” Harry comments, kissing one on the top of his sharp cheekbone.

“I could paint your nails for you one day, if you want,” Louis offers.

“Really? You would do that? You know how to paint nails? I am utter shit at it. When I do it, it looks like a five-year-old found their mom’s nail polish,” Harry chuckles, feeling a warmth spread through his chest that has nothing to do with the July sun beating down on them at Louis’ proposition.

“Sure. I used to paint my sisters’ nails all the time. Sometimes, I would even let them put makeup on me,” Louis says with a fond smile. Harry envisions a younger Louis sitting down in the floor with a little girl as he paints her tiny fingernails a bright color. Harry’s heart clenches at the thought; he desperately wants to see that. He knows Louis will make an excellent dad someday, even though he isn’t allowing himself to picture that with his own children.

“We are going to get food!” Niall suddenly exclaims, startling both Harry and Louis out of their own little world. Harry has kind of forgotten their other two friends are there, and he feels terrible about it. He really needs to make an effort to talk to them when he is around Louis. Louis is just so magnetic. It is easy to get lost with him. He is the type of person that you want to sit and admire what he is like.

“Do you all want anything?” Liam asks, standing up next to Niall.

“Yeah, get me two hot dogs with chili and cheese and a soda,” Louis orders, pulling out some cash from his wallet.

“I want some nachos,” Harry says, doing the same.

“Do you want a drink?” Niall asks.

“Yeah. A water please. If I want some caffeine, I can just steal from Louis,” Harry says, smirking in Louis’ direction.

“You’re a thief,” Louis laughs, poking Harry in the ribs, causing him to squirm.

“You two are disgusting,” Liam says, shaking his head and walking down the bleachers.

“We will be right back. Don’t start humping on the bleachers while we’re gone,” Niall adds, rolling his eyes and pointing a stern finger at them as he follows Liam. Louis salutes him while managing to keep a straight face throughout the process. Harry laughs.

“That reminds me, I wanted to ask you a question,” Harry starts, turning towards Louis to look at him straight on, resting a hand on his thigh.

“Humping reminds you to ask me a question?” Louis teases, clearly trying to suppress a small smile.

“Erm, kind of.” Fuck Harry is nervous. His palms are sweating and his heart feels like he’s just finished a fucking marathon. He is more nervous than when he was going to ask a boy to his prom. At Louis’ expectant gaze, he rushes out, “I was curious if you wanted to go out with me Saturday night?”

“What do you mean by go out?”

Fuck. Harry doesn't want to actually use the word ‘date’ because he doesn't want to scare Louis off, so he goes for vague. “Like dinner and a surprise.”

“That sounds an awful lot like a date, Harold.” Louis smiles, but Harry freezes. Louis used the ‘d’ word. It feels monumental in some ways. It’s the first time they have ever even remotely labeled what they were doing.

“It might be.” Harry tries to sound casual, but he knows he misses the mark. His voice breaks with the short sentence, and his breath is coming out in quick puffs.

He watches as Louis considers this for a moment. He is holding his breath. He knows he is, and that he shouldn’t since he is an asthmatic. He can hardly breathe properly to begin with, but Louis makes him do strange things. He can’t read anything going on in Louis’ head and it feels like it takes an eternity before he finally answers. “Sure. I’d like that. Any chance you will divulge more information about this surprise?”

Harry quickly releases his breath in a woosh, his heart rate slowly going back to normal. He was so scared for a moment that Louis was just going to up and walk away. He knows if that were to happen, he would be broken. Despite his promise to Niall, he can feel himself falling for Louis. He thinks that Louis feels the same way, but fuck he is impossible to read. Louis is just so sweet and considerate, and gods did he have a filthy mouth in bed if Friday night was anything to go by.

“Nope,” Harry says, popping the ‘p’, letting a smirk form on his face.

“Come on, Hazza! I hate surprises!” Louis exclaims, putting his arms around Harry’s shoulders, pulling him close and nuzzling his cheek. Harry felt his heart flutter at the action. He knows Louis though, so he knows the bastard is trying to suck up, but Harry isn’t budging.

“No. I like surprises, and you will like this one. I promise.”

“Will you at least tell me what I should be wearing, so that I am not overdressed or underdressed,” Louis bargains, releasing his hold. Harry already misses that point of contact, so he leans back into Louis, placing an arm on either of Louis’ thighs, relaxing into the position even more. It’s hot out, and he is always warm however he is not going to pass up an opportunity to sort of cuddle with Louis in public. 

“Jeans and t-shirt will suffice,” Harry tells him, looking up. Louis looks down at him with a small smile. He leans down and kisses Harry, in an Upsidedown-Spiderman-Kiss fashion. It is all very romantic. He starts to deepen the kiss when they hear Niall exclaim, “Oh for fuck’s sake, get a room,” breaking the moment, forcing them to pull apart, but Harry still stays in the cradle of Louis’ legs where he is happy. Baseball isn’t such a bad sport after all.

__________

__  
  


“I don’t know what to wear Li,” Louis whines for the 100 th time that day, furiously ripping another shirt off his back and throwing it in the corner of the room.

“If it’s not a date, then why are you freaking out about this?” Liam asks from the bed, brown eyes boring into Louis’.

“It’s not date,” Louis insists, even though he knows it is a date. That much was said when Harry asked him, but he isn’t about to tell Liam that. He doesn’t know if he will be able to survive ‘the talk’ tonight. He is too busy being nervous for his date with Harry even though he refuses to call it that out loud.

“I’ll help you if you admit that this is a date,” Liam gestures with a flat palm at Louis.

“Li,” Louis whines again, falling face first on the bed dramatically.

“Admit it, Lou, or I won’t help you.”

“It’s a date,” Louis mumbles, voice muffled by his bed.

“Sorry. I didn’t hear that, can you repeat it?”

Louis uses two arms to hoist himself up and glare at Liam. “Fine. It’s a date. Now help me,” he hisses through his teeth. Liam just chuckles and gets off the bed, allowing Louis to collapse face first again. His face feels like it is on fire from his admission. He feels like a fucking teenager again, going on his first date. It isn’t even like it’s a real first date with Harry. They have done loads of stuff, but this is the first time it has been labeled as such, and that makes all the difference. Louis is going on a date with a man. Louis is going on a date with Harry to a surprise undisclosed location. Maybe he can smother himself on the bed, so he doesn’t have to deal with his feelings over this matter.

“There,” he hears Liam say from somewhere behind him, pulling him out of his chaotic feelings.  

“That?” He asks looking the very simple outfit Liam has laid out. It was a pair of jean shorts that Louis would roll up, and a simple three quarter length sleeved shirt with two skeletal hands creating the symbol for ‘rock on’ with a rainbow connecting them. “You make me admit this is a date, and this is what you come up with?”

“What’s wrong with it?” Liam asks defensively.

“It’s boring.”

“Lou, he said to wear something casual. Plus, on your first real date with a dude, you should wear a rainbow,” Liam says with a shit eating grin.

“Thanks for the advice,” Louis replies, sarcasm lacing every syllable. He looks at the clothes again. Harry could be here any minute, so he guesses he will have to wear it. He has no better options. He puts the outfit on and studies his reflection in the mirror. It looks pretty good. He thinks Harry would approve, so he shrugs his shoulders and walks out of the room.

“Want me to put away your clothes while you’re gone?” Liam asks, already engrossed in one of his Call of Duty games.

“Why?”

“Well it’s a mess now, and you may wanna bring Harry back.” Liam winks at Louis.

“What?” Louis feels panicked. Why would Liam think he would bring him back? Does he know something? Louis wouldn’t even know what to do if he did bring him back.

Liam pauses the game to look fully at Louis. “Don’t freak out. I was just making an observation. That is what most people do when they go out on a date, especially when they have been fucking around as much as you and Harry. You don’t  _ have _ to bring him back; I was just thinking you may  _ want _ to. You said you wanted to explore this side of yourself, so explore.”

Louis still feels panicked, his anxiety levels reaching an all-time high. He is suddenly hit with the realization that Liam has a point. If Harry were a girl, he would definitely want to try to bring him home tonight, but Harry is not a girl. Does that make is so different though? At this point, the only difference is gender. Even he knows, objectively, he treats Harry like he would a potential girlfriend. Maybe even better because he feels some kind of deep seated connection to Harry. That is a path he doesn’t want to spiral down, so he forces his attention back to Liam who is looking at him worriedly.

“Yeah.” His voice comes out broken and raspy, so he clears his throat, trying again. “Yeah, you’ve got a point. Umm, if you wanna clean up my room, I’ll owe you one. I know you have to leave for work soon.”

“Okay. You won’t owe me anything,” Liam says with a smile, turning back to his game. Before Louis can reply, there is a firm knock on the door. He knows it’s Harry, so he tries to still his shaking hands as he makes his way towards it. He wipes his sweaty palms on his shorts as he opens up the door. Sure enough, Harry is dressed just as casually as Louis, jean shorts and a charcoal gray Henley with the sleeves pulled up to his elbow, showing his tattoos. His hair is loose around his face and neck, and he is smiling brightly at Louis.

“Ready to go?” He asks, gesturing over his shoulder.

“You could have texted me that you were here, like a normal person,” Louis says, rolling his eyes and pulling on his shoes.

“Nah. I like this way better,” Harry replies, putting his arm around Louis’ shoulder as Louis firmly shuts the door behind him. Louis’ own arm snakes around Harry’s lower back automatically, that traitor. He tries to breath as normally as he can while they make their way outside. It was a cool night for early July, the thread of rain hanging around all day, bringing the temperature down to an acceptable level.

“Still not allowed to know where we’re going?” Louis tries one more time. Not even his best persuasive techniques this week have convinced Harry to tell him where they were going tonight, much to Louis’ displeasure.

“You’ll know soon enough. It is about half an hour away,” Harry offers with an easy grin. Everything about Harry is easy. Harry opens the door to his Jeep for Louis, and Louis rolls his eyes at him before he climbs in, using the ‘oh shit’ handle as leverage. Damn tall people.

“Are we getting food first? I’m starving,” Louis states when Harry gets into the vehicle, shutting the door.

“Already taken care of,” Harry says, buckling up. Harry doesn’t turn any music on as they make their way to their destination, so they spend their time talking about their week. Harry tells him a super corny joke about a cow counting with the punchline being ‘cowculator’. Louis laughs, but mostly at Harry laughing at his own joke. An overwhelming feeling washes over Louis when this happens, watching Harry laugh at his own fucking joke, that he can’t place.

“You can’t be serious!” Louis exclaims once he realizes where Harry has taken them. He sees a parking lot with a huge screen set up. Harry expertly backs into a space, although Louis thinks he is cheating since he is using his rearview backup camera.

“I am very serious,” Harry laughs, his entire face lighting up at Louis’ obvious excitement.

“A drive in theater!! I have never been to one before,” Louis exclaims, following Harry’s lead and exiting the vehicle. Harry goes around to the back, which is now facing the large screen and opens up the hatch to reveal a comfy seating area he created in of the back of his Jeep. He had laid a blanket down on the floor, put pillows in to sit on and for back support. A takeout bag sat in the middle with a rose poking out. Louis could feel a tear threatening to come to his eye, but he blinks it away. Harry is just so thoughtful.

He clears his throat, not trusting his own voice. “Harry, this is lovely. What movie is playing?” Louis asks, allowing Harry to help him get into the back of the Jeep, quickly situating himself and holding the food in place as Harry does the same. It was quite entertaining to watch Harry arrange his long limbs in such a small space.

“ _ The Breakfast Club  _ first then  _ The Proposal _ ,” Harry answers, picking up the bag. “Oh and this is for you,” he says, holding out the rose to Louis. Louis takes it, smelling the flower. It is quite beautiful. No one has ever given him any type of flower before, but he likes it.

“Thank you,” he says in a small voice, sitting the rose down next to him, not wanting to forget it. “Oh and I love those movies. What did you bring us to eat?”

“I hope you like sushi. I didn’t even think of the possibility of you not liking it because I love it so much.” Harry opens a few containers revealing different types of sushi. Louis’ mouth waters because he loves sushi, but only eats it on special occasions since it is so expensive.

“Yeah. I love sushi, actually,” Louis tells him, giving him a reassuring smile. Harry was obviously nervous about his reaction, but he didn’t seem nervous about the date over all. Nothing seemed to faze Harry, though. He was just so laid back, Louis envies that.

“Good.” Harry hands Louis some chop sticks as the first movie begins to play. Louis takes them, normally hating to use the damn things, but he will make an exception for this one. They eat slowly, feeding each other pieces of sushi, laughing and talking about the movie. Even though they are surrounded by other people, it feels private somehow, like the back of Harry’s car is their own personal bubble. Louis could see the appeal of drive in theaters now.

After the first movie finishes, Harry starts to get out the back of the vehicle. “I am going to go get us some popcorn before the next one starts.”

“Okay. Works for me. Extra butter please,” Louis says with his cutest smile. Harry rolls his eyes and nods.

“Jesus, I hope it doesn’t rain. It looks like it going to,” Harry observes, looking up at the sky.

“I hope it does. It has been so fucking hot lately, it may help cool things down,” Louis replies, but Harry looks worried.

“I just. I hate storms. I know that is childish, but I can’t help it. They freak me out,” Harry admits, looking down at his toes. Before Louis can start to reassure him, Harry is gone.

___________

__  
  


As Harry makes his way to the concession stands, he glances up at the sky again. It is dark with storm clouds rolling in. It is just now starting to get dark out, the moon covered by the heavy clouds. A cool breeze is blowing, causing a shiver to run through him and chillbumps to erupt on his arms. He purchases a large popcorn with extra butter as requested and a large soda, knowing they would need something to wash the salty treat down.

When he returns to their spot, Louis is visibly shivering from the rapid temperature drop. He wordlessly hands both items to Louis then slowly makes his way inside the Jeep. He reaches over the back seat, pulling out a light throw blanket he put there for this very event.

“I know you get cold easily,” Harry shrugs at Louis’ confused look. He unfolds the blanket then pulls the material over both himself and Louis, resting his arm around Louis’ shoulders. He freezes, waiting for Louis to react to their sort of cuddling. To Harry’s surprise, Louis quickly curls into his side, his shivers already starting to subside.

They continue to cuddle as they eat their popcorn and watch the movie, both laughing hysterically at the part where Margaret sings  _ Get Low  _ around the fire to appease Betty White’s character. Harry glances over to see Louis staring at him with a fond expression on his face. “What?”

“Nothing. You’re just beautiful,” Louis responds sincerely. Thankfully it is slightly dark in the car, so Louis can’t see Harry’s furious blush at his comment, warming him way more than their shared blanket ever could.

“Thank you,” is his only lame response, staring deeply into Louis’ eyes. Louis closes the distance between their lips, giving him a soft kiss. His lips are warm and firm against Harry’s and, not for the first time, Harry thinks he will never tire of kissing him. They continue to kiss throughout the rest of the movie, things never getting too heated, just slow and leisurely, like they are both trying to remember every detail of the night, commit their exchanged kisses and soft touches to memory, so they can relive it over and over again. 

“Haz, I think the movie is over,” Louis mentions softly against his lips. Harry hadn’t even registered that the credits were rolling, too wrapped up in Louis.

“Yeah, maybe we should start heading home,” Harry says although he really doesn’t want the night to end. They carefully start to make their way out of the Jeep as the rain begins to pour down on them. Harry freezes. He hates storms. He hates driving in them even more. He can’t even sleep if there is a thunderstorm since they give him nightmares. He doesn’t want to tell Louis this, believing that Louis would think he is weak.

“Damn,” Louis whistles under his breath, watching the rain beat down on the open hatch. “Want me to drive?”

“No,” Harry says, swallowing his fear down. “That’s alright.”

“Come on, Harry. Let me drive. You said you don’t like storms, and they don’t bother me. I have my license with me. I promise I am a great driver; I just could never afford a car,” Louis begs, clearly seeing Harry’s unease about the storm written all over his body like his tattoos.

“Okay. Yeah. You can drive,” Harry concedes, placing his keys into Louis’ outstretched palm because he really doesn’t want to drive in this storm. Louis dives for the rose Harry gave him before Harry is able to shut the back hatch. Harry suppresses a smile at this action and goes around to the passenger seat. They are both soaked from the short walk from the back of the car to the front. Louis’ wet, tan skin glistens enticingly under the dim light of the cab, momentarily making Harry forget about the big ass storm raging overhead, but a flash of lightning quickly brings him back to reality, forcing him to jump in his seat, bumping his head painfully in the process.

“Ya alright?” Louis asks, one small hand coming up to rub the spot Harry had just slammed against the roof.

“Yeah, the lightning just startled me,” Harry responds, trying not to look Louis in the eye. He knows his fear of storms is almost as dumb as his fear of deep water, but he can’t help it. In that moment, a loud boom of thunder shakes the vehicle, Louis’ calming hand on his shoulder the only thing stopping Harry from giving himself another concussion.

“Alright, how do I adjust the seat?” Louis asks, probably to distract him as he twists the key to start the Jeep. It works, causing Harry to look down into the floorboard and see Louis’ short legs not even coming close to the foot pedals. It is downright endearing. He almost forgets how much shorter Louis is than him because of his demanding personality. It’s nice. Harry doesn’t answer, instead he reaches over Louis’ lap with a smirk to find the button that will move the seat up.

“Thanks,” Louis says, as he adjusts the mirrors to ensure he can see. He connects his own phone to the Bluetooth prompting soft music to begin playing throughout the vehicle, calming Harry’s nerves somewhat. As they begin to dive towards their destination, sheets of rain start pouring down over them, the windshield wipers barely able to clear it away before their vision is obscured again. He needs something to distract himself, so he watches as Louis expertly maneuvers the car, small hands confidently steering through the storm.

Harry registers that Louis is quietly singing along to the music, his voice is a tenor, soft and raspy. It is beautiful. He had no idea Louis could sing so well. He kind of wants to harmonize with him, wondering how their very different voices would blend together.. He thinks they would mesh well but doesn’t want to bring attention to the situation quite yet, not wanting Louis to get shy and stop. His voice is like a calming balm on Harry’s shot nerves from the storm. He closes his eyes for a second and just focuses on Louis singing, his voice raw with the emotion of the song. Harry doesn’t think he has ever been so turned on from a voice in his life.

“Your voice is lovely,” Harry finally says quietly. He can’t handle Louis not knowing this about himself. Much to Harry’s displeasure, Louis promptly stops singing, and Harry looks at him. Even in the darkness of the vehicle, Harry can tell that Louis is embarrassed.

“’s not. Nothing like yours,” Louis responds, his silhouette shrugging as if trying to wave off the comment. Harry isn’t about to let that happen.

“Our voices are different, sure, but yours is so beautiful. High and raspy. You put a lot of emotion into the song. Makes it raw. I kind of want you to join our band,” Harry says, trying to gauge Louis’ reaction in the dark. It is impossible. Louis is hard enough to read in the light of the day.

“Nah. You all are way more talented than me. I would just ruin it,” Louis replies with a tight laugh. Harry gets the feeling that Louis doesn’t take compliments well. He kind of already knew that, but this is the first time that Louis has visibly been affected by a compliment not about his appearance. Interesting.

“Seriously, Lou. Will you at least sing with me one day?” Louis glances in his direction, and he can see the weary expression from a lightning flash at just the right moment. Louis even looks beautiful in lightning, but Harry is getting distracted. “Not like onstage or anything, but maybe one day in the car when there isn’t a fucking monsoon.”

“Maybe,” Louis responds with a chuckle at Harry’s overreaction to the storm. At least he got a maybe even though it was a flimsy one.

“I’m gonna hold you to that,” Harry says, pointing at him.

“We’re here,” Louis announces, pulling the car into a parking spot.

“What? Really?” Harry looks around, and sure enough, they are parked in front of Louis’ apartment, the storm raging around them. They are safe though.

“Yeah. I’m glad I could distract you enough that you didn’t freak out,” Louis says with a smug smile.

“That’s what you were doing! You ass!” Harry exclaims once he realizes that it must have been Louis’ plan all along. It was thoughtful, really.

“It worked didn’t it,” Louis laughs, then clears his throat like he is nervous. “So um, do you want to stay in here to see if the storm eases up, or do you want to make a run for it to my apartment and probably get soaked. Either way, you’re… umm… welcome to come in. Liam picked up a shift as a bouncer at The Gate, so he will most likely be gone all night, so…”

Harry cut off his rambling with a chaste kiss. Louis’ lips were cool against his own, but perfect all the same. “Yeah. I’d love to come up. Niall is bartending tonight, and I really don’t want to be home alone during the storm. They give me nightmares. Maybe it will blow over soon.”

“Yeah maybe,” Louis says, still looking a bit shocked from their abrupt kiss.

“I say we run for it. We’re going to get soaked, but I am tired of being in this car,” Harry reasons, looking out at the pouring rain, lightning flashing occasionally, loud thunder booming in the distance.  

“Okay. On three.” Louis’ eyes are crinkled with a smile as he grabs his rose. On Louis’ count, they both dash out of the vehicle and into the apartment complex. Despite their best efforts, they are both drenched by the time they reach safety, giggling all the same.

“Come on. I’m sure I have some dry clothes for you.” Louis laughs as they make their way into his apartment. Harry follows him into his room, taking a moment to actually look around this time. Last time, Louis was half asleep, so he felt that looking around was infringing on his privacy, rightfully so. The room is small, like the rest of the apartment, only enough space for a bed, a very small desk, a dresser, and a closet. The walls are a boring white, but Louis has hung pictures and posters all over of his favorite bands and his family. Harry loves the fact that Louis is so close to his family. He notices that no pictures of his family could be seen from the bed and laughs to himself.

“Here. This is the biggest shirt I own, still may be a bit tight on you, and some sweatpants. They may be short, but you can pull up the legs,” Louis says, handing him a pile of clothes with a smile. “There are extra towels in the bathroom if you wanna try to get some of the extra water out of your hair.”

“Thanks,” Harry responds, taking the pile, his warm hand grazing Louis’, sending an electric spark up his spine. “Umm… I’ll go change in the bathroom.”

Harry awkwardly makes his way towards the bathroom. He takes a piss while he’s in there and washes his hands. He quickly takes off his shirt then peels his shorts off, a wet plop sounding throughout the small space. He finds the aforementioned towel and dries his skin and hair as best as he can. His curls are extra curly, but he can’t really do anything about it. He pulls Louis’ shirt over his head, briefly encompassed by the smell that is just so  _ Louis _ . The shirt is only a tiny bit snug, clinging to his shoulders, but it isn’t wet. He pulls on the joggers, which are in fact too short and bit too tight, hugging his ass. He pulls the legs up to his knees and glances in the mirror one more time before he exits the bathroom, suddenly feeling nervous.

“Hot chocolate,” Louis says, handing Harry a mug when he sits down on the couch next to him.

“Thanks, it is actually pretty chilly,” Harry replies, taking the mug, letting the warmth seep into his skin. He knows he is just cold because he is still kind of wet.

“I’m glad my clothes worked.” Louis points to the shirt Harry is wearing.

“Yeah, a bit tight,” Harry says shyly with a blush.

“A bit. I like the way they look on you though,” Louis admits, then a look of horror passes over his features like he didn’t mean to say that before he just as quickly covers it with a tight smile.

“They smell nice.” Harry decides to show Louis that he is on the same page. Louis smiles, seeming to relax a bit. Louis also seems nervous, shaking his leg and picking at the cuticles of the hand wrapped around his mug.

“Hey, stop that,” Harry requests, grabbing Louis’ cold hand in his own, not letting go. Before Louis can reply, the lights to the apartment flicker, but the power stays on, thankfully. Harry didn’t realize how tightly he gripped Louis’ hand until he feels Louis’ fingers wiggle. He relaxes his hold, but doesn’t let go. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay, Haz.” Louis eyes are soft, boring into his own. He looks uncertain, but clears his throat and continues. “Um... why don’t you stay the night? It doesn’t seem like the storm is going to let up any time soon, and you said storms give you nightmares.”

“You sure? I mean I can sleep on the couch,” Harry offers, surprised by Louis’ suggestion.

“Don’t be ridiculous. My bed is big enough for both of us, plus your back sometimes gives you issues, I am not going to force you to sleep on this shitty couch,” Louis reasons, then his eyes widen as he quickly adds, “Unless you don’t want to because I will completely understand. I could even take the...”

Harry stops his rambling the only way he knows how, by leaning in to kiss him. Louis’ eyes briefly widen before he relaxes into Harry, returning the kiss. Their kisses quickly turn heated from there, with Louis pulling his hair and climbing into his lap, straddling his hips, forcing a deep moan from Harry’s own throat. Louis releases his lips to trail kisses and tiny bites over Harry’s neck, inhaling his scent mixed with Louis’ own. Harry can’t stop his hands from trailing down Louis’ back and grabbing his plump ass, pulling their hard cocks together in a grind, both moaning from the friction.

“Bed,” Louis mumbles between searing kisses to Harry’s lips. He doesn’t need to be told twice. With an agility Harry didn’t know he possessed, he wraps his hands more firmly around Louis’ ass and stands up from the couch. Louis feels like feathers in his arms as the smaller man yelps and wraps both his legs and arms around Harry, like a koala bear clinging to a branch. Harry continues to kiss him as he stumbles his way into Louis’s room, shutting the door with his foot.

As carefully as he can, he lays Louis down on his bed, not breaking their kiss. Louis’ hands are everywhere, under his shirt, the waistline of his joggers, in his hair. It feels like there are about ten sets of hands roaming all over his body, setting his nerve endings on fire. Before he can even register what is  happening, Louis uses his powerful legs to flip them, so he is straddling Harry’s waist. He doesn’t waste time, pulling Harry’s shirt over his head, exposing his torso to the cool apartment air. Harry vaguely registers the storm raging on outside, too wrapped up in Louis’s dark gaze wandering over his exposed chest to care.

Louis reaches out a small hand and traces his swallow tattoos then repeats the motion with the butterfly tattoo on his upper abs. Harry grips Louis’ hips in an attempt to stay still, letting Louis explore as much as he wants. He watches Louis physically shake himself out his trance and pull his shirt over his own head. Harry can’t stop his hands from reaching up to trace Louis’ own chest tattoos, fingering the scripted words across his collar bones. Louis’ warm torso crashes down onto his own, skin to fevered skin, as he captures his lips in another punishing kiss. Harry’s already impossibly hard cock gets harder with the movement, never feeling so much of Louis’ warm, tanned skin all at once.

Louis wiggles off Harry’s hips without breaking their frenzied kisses. Using nimble fingers, he grabs the waistband of both Harry’s joggers and briefs and pulls them down in one swift motion, throwing them into some random location off the bed. Harry freezes as he watched Louis’ gaze drink in his naked body for the first time. His cock is so hard that it hurts, but he doesn’t push Louis to do more, sensing this is a fragile moment. Louis sits up on his haunches and really looks at Harry. Harry feels exposed and vulnerable under his intense gaze.

“You’re so beautiful,” Louis mumbles under his breath, not looking away from Harry. Harry wonders if Louis realizes he has said the words out loud, and he resists the urge to cover himself. Louis reaches out a tentative hand towards his painfully hard cock, but stops himself and lets it fall to his side.

“You can touch it, if you want,” Harry says carefully, his voice rough, eyes never leaving Louis’ hand. Gods, he wants Louis to touch him. With an incredible slowness that Harry didn’t know Louis possesses, Louis reaches out his small hand and traces the vein on the underside of Harry’s cock.

Harry hisses with the motion, finally getting Louis’ touch in the place he wants it most. Louis pulls back quickly, eyes wide as he stares at Harry, like he had done something wrong. Harry tries to give him a reassuring smile as he says, “It’s okay, baby. That felt really good, ‘s all.” 

“Okay,” Louis says so very quietly, that Harry isn’t sure he even heard it, his brain so muddled with  _ Louis Louis Louis _ . Louis reaches out again, this time wrapping his hand firmly around the base and strokes up. Harry almost comes at the sight of Louis’ small hand wrapped around his cock alone, a desperate moan escaping his chest. This time, Louis’ eyes widen, but he doesn’t stop his ministrations. His cool hand feels so good on Harry’s heated cock, his eyes almost roll back in his head. Instead, Harry forces himself to keep his gaze on Louis. Louis looks so unsure of himself, it almost hurts his chest.

“C’mere,” Harry gets out, pulling Louis down on top of him again, kissing him fiercely. Louis lets go of his cock for a moment, returning the kiss and moaning into his mouth. He is pleased to feel Louis’ own arousal pressed into his hip.

“I want to… umm…” Louis’ voice is small and unsure. “Umm… I want to,” He tries again, trailing his hand down Harry’s torso, wrapping it around his cock one last time, glancing down and licking his lips.

Oh.  _ OH _ . Harry’s eyes widen with comprehension. Harry thinks he knows what Louis wants, so he replies as calmly as possible, as if his heart doesn’t feel like it is trying to break free of his rib cage. “You can if you want.”

“I… I… just don’t know how,” Louis admits, hiding his face in Harry’s chest.

“Hey. It’s okay,” Harry soothes, rubbing down Louis bare back. “I can help you.”

“God, I feel so stupid,” Louis admits, finally looking into Harry’s eyes. Harry hates the shame written all over his face.

“Of course not, babe. I don’t expect you to be an expert. You’ve never done this before. Just relax, okay? We will only do what you want,” Harry replies, continuing his motions on Louis back.

“Okay,” Louis agrees hesitantly before moving between Harry’s legs, positioning his face right over Harry’s cock, watching it twitch with interest.

“Okay,” Harry says, releasing a breath, trying to get his thoughts in order enough to make coherent sentences. Louis looks up at him through his ridiculously long eyelashes, the way his lips are so close to his cock that he can feel his breath on it is not helping matters. He closes his eyes for a second, willing his pending orgasm away.

“You were doing good before, really good,” Harry starts, watching Louis take his hand again to wrap it around his hard length. He involuntarily sucks in a breath at the contact.

“Yeah, just like that,” Harry says as Louis begins stroking slowly.

“Just do what you know you like. Do what feels natural,” Harry tries because honestly, he doesn’t know if he can continue forming sentences with Louis that close to his cock. He watches as Louis uncertainly kitten licks the head, just tasting it. He has to physically stop himself from bucking up into the wetness, a moan escaping. That seems to give Louis a bit more confidence, so he leans in and wraps his pretty pink lips around the head, sucking.

“Fuck, Lou, that feels so good,” Harry reassures, gripping the sheets, so he doesn’t grab Louis’ head to force him deeper. He has to let Louis do this on his own. His words seem to work, as Louis takes him deeper, bobbing his head up and down. Fuck, it feels like heaven. Of all scenarios involving Louis that ever played through is head, Harry never imagined him sucking his cock, but now that it is happening, it feels better than a dream.

“Lick your palm, and stroke the part that you can’t reach,” Harry instructs, hoping he didn’t disrupt the fragileness of this moment. Louis does what he asks, slowly pulling off to lick his palm, placing it around the base before he puts his mouth back to its former position. It takes him a moment to get the rhythm right, but when he does, a shout is ripped from Harry’s throat. He watches as Louis begins grinding against the mattress, clearly as turned on as he is.

“Fuck, if you keep doing that, I’m gonna come,” Harry moans, as Louis pulls off his cock with a wet pop. The sound alone turns Harry on even more.

“What do you want?” Louis asks with dark eyes, keeping his hand firmly wrapped around Harry’s cock but not moving.

Harry licks his lips, debating about how truthful he wants to be. His own horneiness wins out. “I want you inside me.”

__________

__  
  


Louis chokes on his own spit at Harry’s statement. Harry looks disheveled, curls a mess, pupils blown, but he is staring at Louis with a desire that he has never seen. It makes him shiver with anticipation, but the problem is, he doesn’t know  _ how  _ to fuck Harry. He wants to, though. He knows the basics, thanks to porn, but he wants it to be good. So good for Harry. It’s what he deserves.

He can’t say ‘no’ with Harry looking at him like that, like he is the most beautiful person in the world, so he swallows and clears his throat, kind of sore from sucking Harry’s giant dick. “Okay. Yeah. I want that too, but you’ll have to show me how.” He hates admitting his lack of experience even though he knows Harry is aware.

“Of course,” Harry says quickly, widening his legs, giving Louis a view of his puckered hole. “Do you, um, having any lube and a condom?”

“Yeah,” Louis answers, ripping his gaze away from his new favorite view: Harry’s long limbs sprawled out on his bed, body under him, his curly hair spread out on the pillow like a dark halo. He opens his bedside drawer and quickly finds the condom wrapper and the lube, sitting them down beside Harry. Harry grins at him.

“You know; I think you’re wearing too many clothes. It is entirely unfair,” Harry says, his slow voice even deeper than normal. Lightning flashes outside of the window behind him, but Harry doesn’t seem to notice.

Louis looks down and sees he is tenting his joggers. He rolls his eyes, stands up and pulls them and his underwear over his hips, letting them pool on the floor, not feeling even remotely self-conscious. He gets back on the bed and settles back between Harry’s legs, on his haunches, his hard dick swaying between them. Harry tracks the movement with dark eyes, green almost completely taken over by the black of his pupils.

Louis gets nervous with his next question, but forces himself to ask because he is a fucking adult and should be able to talk about sex. “So… um… what position would be best?”

“On my back is fine. I wanna see you,” Harry responds earnestly, his honesty blooming in Louis chest.

“Okay,” Louis says, breaking his gaze because he can’t handle it when Harry is looking at him like that. He knows this part, he has done it to himself, but he doesn’t really want Harry to know that right now. He squirts a generous amount of lube onto his fingers and rubs them together to help warm the gel. He meets Harry’s eyes again, watching as he nods, making Louis reach forward to brush a finger over Harry’s puckered hole. Harry moans at the touch. Interesting.

He rubs his fingers around, getting the area nice and wet then slowly pushes the tip of his middle finger in, past the tight muscles. Jesus, he has no idea how he is going to fit, but he trusts Harry. He hears Harry wince, and freezes, looking up at him. “’S okay. Just been a while.”

“How long?” Louis is curious about this. He is almost afraid of the answer.

“Since I met you,” Harry replies, the honesty in his eyes startling Louis. Louis’ breath hitches with the response.

“Oh. Same here,” Louis says, feeling the odd need to keep the honesty going.

“Please keep going. You’re killing me,” Harry says, bucking his hips to get Louis’ finger deeper into him. Louis almost forgot what they were doing until he feels Harry’s tight heat squeezing his entire finger. He slowly begins thrusting it, working up a rhythm, entranced by the digit disappearing into the slick heat.

“Add another one,” Harry instructs through a low moan. Louis does so slowly, watching his hole stretch to accommodate the new girth. It is fucking beautiful.

“Now spread your fingers, like scissors. Yeah, just like that. Fuck Lou, feels so good. You’re opening me up so good.” Harry’s words go straight to Louis’ neglected dick. He suddenly remembers what he did to himself. He crooks his fingers, seeking Harry’s spot. He knows when he finds it because Harry releases a low growl from deep in his chest, his back arching off the bed.

Louis is so turned on he does the only thing he can think of. He talks. “God Harry, you’re so sexy like this, wrapped around my fingers. So tight.”

“Right there, Lou. Oh god, that feels so fucking good. Fuck,” Harry says, eyes closed, chin angled towards the ceiling. “Please Lou, a third. I need you in me.”

Louis’s eyes widen. He can’t possibly put a third in. He’s already so fucking tight, but he does as Harry asks, gradually sinking a third finger in alongside the other two, carefully watching Harry’s reaction to make sure he doesn’t hurt him. It seems to have the opposite effect because Harry moans in response, high pitched and needy. He continues to thrust his fingers, crooking them to hit Harry’s spot every other time. Harry is writhing on the bed beneath him, a sheen of sweat all over his body, hair a mess, eyes closed in bliss.

“I’m ready. Please, God, I’m ready,” Harry starts chanting, and Louis’ mind flashes back to the porn he found. The same phrase that was uttered from the other guy.

“Are you sure?” Louis asks, because he is definitely unsure.

“Yes. Louis. I need you inside of me. Right fucking now,” Harry demands, locking his gaze with Louis. His eyes are dark with need, and Louis didn’t think he has ever looked more beautiful.

“Fuck, okay,” Louis says, slowly removing his fingers and reaching for the condom. Harry grabs it before he gets the chance.

“You’ll struggle because of the lube,” Harry responds, ripping the foil with his teeth, pulling it out. He expertly rolls it on Louis’ dick, Louis not being able to hold back a hiss from the contact. Harry then puts more lube on Louis, stroking for too short an amount of time. Harry lays back down and spreads his legs again. Fuck. This really happening. He is about to fuck a dude. He is about to fuck Harry.

Louis takes a few calming breaths before he allows his anxiety to strangle him. With Harry looking up at him eagerly, he lines himself up with Harry’s stretched hole. Harry nods, so he begins to deliberately sink in, watching Harry’s face for any sign of pain. He pauses halfway because Harry winces.

“I’m fine. Just give me a second,” Harry breathes out. It takes everything in Louis not to thrust into the tight warmth of Harry’s waiting body. Harry feels incredible around his dick, however he doesn’t want to hurt him, so he stays as still as possible, not moving a muscle. He can feel Harry slowly relax around him. Harry taps his wrist and nods, signaling Louis to move again. Louis does, slowly, inch by excruciating inch until he has bottomed out. They are both sweating, but Louis will not thrust until Harry signals.

“Fuck, please move, Louis. Please. Please. Please,” Harry chants after a few seconds, or it could have been hours for all Louis knows. He does as Harry asks and begins moving. Harry’s hole is tight around him, and so hot. Even through the protective layer of the condom, it feels like it is searing his skin off. He feels so good. So addictive. Everything about Harry is addictive, like Louis can't get enough of his kiss, his body, and his soul. He knows he isn’t going to last, so he distracts himself the only way he knows how, by talking.

“Fuck, baby. You’re so fucking tight for me,” Louis says, beginning to build a steady rhythm, hands perched on either side of Harry’s head, looking down at the other man. Harry just rolls his hips up in response, making Louis go deeper. He stutters out a breath.

“Deeper,” Harry gasps out, so Louis places Harry’s long legs on either of his shoulders, and bends him in half. This makes the prettiest sounds Louis has ever heard tumble out of Harry’s sinful lips.

“Fuck. I’m not gonna last long. You’re so fucking sexy like this,” Louis babbles. He isn’t even sure what he is saying anymore, the intensity of everything closing in around him, forcing his hips to piston into Harry with abandon.

“Oh god, Louis,” Harry whispers like a prayer, eyes rolling back in his head at one particularly deep thrust. Louis allows a smug smile to take over his face as he watches cool, calm, and collected Harry fall apart beneath him.

“You like the way I fuck you, baby? You like my big dick buried inside of you.” It’s not a question. Louis drops one of Harry’s legs, so he can lean in and bite the juncture between Harry’s neck and collar bone. Harry moans his response, nodding furiously, seemingly at a loss for words. Words were the only thing keeping Louis from coming, though. Harry yanks on his hair, pulling his face down in a fierce kiss, one that Louis feels all over his entire body.

Louis sits back up, with one of Harry’s long legs still perched on his shoulder and grabs his hips, fucking harder. Harry’s back arches off the mattress like he is possessed, and Louis just watched as Harry’s hand flies down to begin stroking his own hard dick, precome already wetting the tip. Louis bats his hand away, taking his hard length in his own small hand, trying to match the rhythm of his thrusts.

“Oh God. Fuck. Right there! Right there!” Harry chants when Louis changes the angle again, hitting Harry’s spot with every thrust. Louis wills his own orgasm away, wanting to see Harry fall apart on his dick.

“Fuck, baby. Are you gonna come for me? Come all over my dick? Come on, baby, I wanna see it.” With those words, Harry’s come shoots all over Louis’ hand and  both of their chests, coating the skin with hot stickiness. Harry screams Louis’ name as he comes, his whole body tensing around Louis. Louis bites his lip to keep from coming, wanting to see every moment of Harry’s orgasm. His green eyes are closed, the muscles in his neck and shoulders straining as he squeezes Louis’ side, leaving bruises. His sweaty curls are fanned out around him, dark ringlets against the light blue sheets. Fuck he is stunning.

“Keep going,” Harry groans, “Want you to come.”

Louis knows he must be sensitive, but he keeps going, knowing that his own orgasm is imminent. Staring into Harry’s green eyes, Louis thrusts three more times and groans as his hot come shoots into the condom, Harry moving his hips to work him through it. Louis feels like his whole body is on fire, but he can’t stop coming. It has to be the best orgasm of his life. Once it finally recedes, he collapses on Harry, come and sweat smearing between them. Harry rubs a soothing hand over Louis’ sweaty back as Louis slowly pulls out, becoming over sensitive.

He just fucked a man. He just fucked Harry. He is most certainly not straight because that was the best sex of his entire fucking existence. Before his brain can spiral even further out of control, he hears Harry clear his throat. “That was… “

“In-fucking-credible,” Louis supplies, trying to catch his breath, carefully rolling off Harry but reaching for his hand to maintain contact. He doesn’t want to let him go right now for some reason.

“Yeah,” is all Harry says, breathing hard next to him, but gripping his hand like a lifeline. Louis can still hear the storm outside, but Harry seems very relaxed.

“Shower?” Louis asks, lifting his head to look at Harry.

“Yes, shower. Together?”

“Yeah. I don’t see why not, we just fucked,” Louis says cheekily in an attempt to kind of lighten the mood. Harry smiles at him and slowly starts to get off the bed, wincing when he sits on his butt.

“Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you did I?” Pure panic comes from deep in Louis’ gut, making its way to his throat at the very idea of hurting Harry.

“No. I’m fine. I’m just going to be sore for a day. You fucked me good,” Harry says, shooting Louis a bright smile over his shoulder as he stands up. Louis does the same and leads them to the bathroom. His shower is fairly small, but they manage to make it work even though Harry is like a giant. They take turns gently washing the sweat and come off each other. Louis washes Harry’s hair for him as he hums in pleasure, Louis using blunt nails to scratch his scalp. Harry returns the favor, massaging the shampoo and conditioner in with large, sure hands. It all feels strangely intimate, more intimate than the sex they had just shared. 

They dry off in silence, Louis popping out his contacts while Harry brushes his teeth with an extra tooth brush then they walk back to Louis’ bedroom. Louis pulls out a clean pair of underwear for them both. They are obscenely tight on Harry, and Louis kind of wants to take them back off. He has been inside of him. He knows how good it feels, almost life changing. He can’t seem to forget it. Harry gets in the bed, and Louis is pleased he takes the opposite side that Louis finds himself gravitating towards.

“Are you sure it’s okay for me to stay the night?” Harry asks, sliding under the covers.

Louis can’t say no. Not when Harry looks far too perfect tucked into his bed, curls drying in the dim lamp light. “Yeah, love. It’s fine. It’s still storming, and I don’t want to you drive so late.”

“Okay,” Harry replies, covering a yawn.

Louis turns off the light and climbs in bed, unsure of what he should do. Are they going to cuddle? He is smaller, so shouldn’t he be the little spoon? He doesn’t like being the little spoon that much, though. Harry kisses him gently in the dark, then turns over, his back to Louis’ chest, pushing their bodies together. Harry pulls Louis’ arm around him, sighing with contentment. Louis finds that he likes Harry being in his arms, even though they probably look ridiculous with the bigger man being the little spoon. Louis doesn’t care. Harry smells like Louis, and it’s doing something to him.

“Night, Lou,” Harry says tiredly.

“Good night, Haz. I had a great time on our date tonight,” Louis admits into the dark silence of his bedroom. He’s not sure why he even says it. Calling it a date out loud after they just had sex. He should be trying not to define it. As it is, he is pretty sure Harry fell asleep before he even heard his response, so he feels a bit relieved. Harry’s body is relaxed against Louis’, breaths deep and even. Louis allows them to lull him to sleep with Harry racing through his thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you've been waiting 7 fucking chapters for this. I hope it was worth it.   
> Kudos and Comments are always welcome!  
> Follow me on my social media for updates or just to chat xx  
> Twitter: @Wicked_Archer  
> Tumblr: wicked-archer


	8. My Muse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis gets a wake up call in the best way... then Harry ask Louis for a big favor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a lot of University Jargon used in this for American Universities. If you have any questions, please let me know. I will be happy to explain.
> 
> There is also a [Spotify Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/mmbrabd/playlist/3K8GDQgXDwKVDLVF6h3H1T?si=sgO-djloQzmO81_jPnYdYQ%20rel=) that will be updated weekly with the songs represented as chapter titles as well as any other songs that are featured in each chapter.

  _I peruse and conjure; Sit and ponder  
_ _Then go under; The blanket of your words  
_ _The way I feel; The things I sing  
_ _The songs I write; The joy you bring  
_ __To me my muse- Sarah Jaroz

 

Louis begins slowly regaining consciousness with the feeling of wet warmth wrapped around his half hard dick. It has to be a dream, because it feels too good. A soft moan escaped his own lips as he begins thrusting up into the heat, seeking more. The next thing he registers is that he is hot. Very hot. His blue eyes pop open with a start, slowly realizing that it isn’t a dream. Looking down, he sees a head under the covers between his legs, bobbing up and down slowly, and the sight almost makes him come.

“Shit, Haz,” Louis breathes out, throwing the covers of of them so he can see. Well not see, he doesn’t have his glasses on, but it’s close enough that even his poor eyesight can make out the details. Harry’s red lips eagerly sucking Louis’s dick, bobbing up and down, his large hand stroking what he couldn’t reach.

“Hope this is okay,” Harry says, releasing Louis’ length with a wet pop, shooting Louis a shit eating grin.

“Yeah, fine,” Louis replies, voice rough from sleep, hoping Harry would continue. As if reading his mind, Harry goes back to the task at hand (literally). He wraps his full lips around the head, flicking his slit with his tongue and palming his balls. Louis’ eyes roll back in his head from the pleasure of it all, then he quickly looks down, forcing himself to watch. Harry’s hair is shielding most of the view, and Louis can’t have that. He slowly reaches down and tangles the fingers of one hand in the curls to hold them back. He hisses when he realizes just how deep Harry is taking him, managing to suppress his gag reflex.

For once in his life, Louis doesn’t talk. He just lays and watches as Harry swallows him down again and again, trails of spit running down his dick and on to his balls. It’s messy and fucking beautiful in the early morning light that is seeping into Louis’ room. He notices Harry grinding his hips against the mattress, moaning around Louis’ girth, spurring his own orgasm on. He can feel the familiar tight pull in the pit of his stomach. He is close, dangerously close.

“Fuck Harry, I’m close,” Louis whispers out into the calm quiet of the room, not wanting to break the moment. Harry hums then doubles his efforts, taking Louis all the way to the back of his throat, swallowing around the head. With a low moan, Louis shoots his hot come into the back of Harry’s throat. Harry quickly swallows most of it, but Louis watches a small drop make its way out of Harry’s mouth and down the side of his shaft.  Fuck, it looks hot.

“Lou, can I come on your chest?” Harry asks, desperation coating his deep voice. His eyes are blown, pupils taking up most of the green, lips slick with spit and come. Louis hadn’t realized until that moment how much this was affecting Harry.

“Fuck, yes, please, Harry,” Louis finds himself rambling, still hazy from his orgasm and completely unsure why he wants Harry’s come on his body so badly. Harry quickly straddles his chest, pulling off his briefs in the process. Harry’s hard dick is warm and heavy on Louis’ sternum as Harry uses one large hand to stroke own length, quickly setting a punishing pace.

Louis watches from his vantage point. Harry closes his eyes, low moans escaping him. He quickly finds his voice inspired by the moment, “God Harry, you look so sexy like this. Straddling me, getting yourself off.”

Harry nods in response, opening his eyes, switching his heated gaze from Louis’ face to his chest, to his own hard length. “Just like that, baby, I wanna see you come,” Louis continues, feeling his own spent dick twitch with interest.

“Fuck, Lou,” Harry breathes out, now fucking into his fist, causing the bed to creak with the movement.

“That’s it, love. Show me what I do to you. I wanna see your come on my chest,” Louis says, shocking even himself because he knows it to be true.

“Fuck,” Harry moans low. Louis watches in awe as Harry’s hot come shoots all over the scripted tattoo on his collar bones like a brand. Harry’s eyes are wide as he watches himself paint the words with his own hot come, breath stuttering out. He never thought that seeing someone’s come on him would be so hot, but here he is wondering if his dick was going to get hard again from how turned on he is by the sight.

“Shit,” Louis breathes as Harry collapses on the bed beside of him. “What a fucking wake up call.”

Harry laughs loud and bright, and Louis thinks he can get used to this, waking up with Harry. He quickly pushes that notion back into the deep recesses of his mind with all his other thoughts along the same caliber. Refusing to acknowledge them was best. 

“Well, I had to butter you up a bit,” Harry says, looking at Louis with a smile. He grabs some tissues from the bedside table and begins carefully cleaning his come off Louis’ chest and collar bones. 

“Why’s that?” Louis asks, only slightly confused by the statement.

“I got a text from my mom this morning,” Harry starts.

“Harold, I don’t see how a text from your mom could make you want to give me a blowjob. If they do correlate, that’s just gross,” Louis teases with a smile, watching Harry throw the tissues towards the waste basket.

“Let me finish, asshole,” Harry says, rolling his eye with a small smile, telling Louis he really isn’t all that bothered with the teasing.

“Alright. Alright.” Louis moves his body so he is laying on his side, mirroring Harry’s position, giving him his full attention.

“She texted me this morning saying that she and Robin are coming for a visit today. They want to take me to dinner and discuss whatever it was I wanted to discuss. About my major, Lou. My sister will also be there, but my dad can’t make it. He and mom don’t really get along that great anyway, so it would just make things awkward. I would like to talk to my mom about it first, anyway. Will you come?” Harry rambles, talking at almost a normal speed for everyone else, but quickly for Harry.

Louis almost wants to say no because he isn’t mentally prepared for this at all, but he made a promise to Harry who looks scared at the moment. It does something to his chest, causes a tightness there that makes him want to clutch it to relieve some of the pressure. Harry is staring at him with hopeful eyes. Instead of answering, Louis decides to divert a little bit, to get his thoughts in order. “I don’t want to spring it on them. You know, another person.”

“I told them I wanted to bring a guest. I’ve mentioned you to both Gemma and my mom before,” Harry admits, a crimson shade flushing Harry’s cheeks as he looks down at the bed, beginning to fiddle with Louis’ fingers, as he often does when he is nervous or uncomfortable.

Louis is a bit shocked by this information. He had no idea that Harry so much as breathed his name to his parents, but he supposes it would make sense given that they hang out together all the time. He knows he has talked about Harry to his own mom and older sisters. It is impossible not to since Harry has become a constant presence in his own life. He clears his throat and shakes himself out of his own spiraling thoughts. He looks into Harry’s eyes again, seeing nothing but hope. “Yeah. I’ll go. You said yourself that you needed support. I would be happy to give that to you.”

“Thank you so much, Lou. You have no idea how much this means to me,” Harry gushes, kissing him gently.

“No problem.” Louis goes for nonchalance, but it misses the mark. He clears his throat, suddenly a bit uncomfortable laying naked in bed with Harry, discussing their plans for the day. It feels intimate. “So where are we going?”

Harry’s expression changes back into worry, biting his lip and going back to playing with Louis’ splayed fingers. Not meeting Louis’ eyes, he mumbles, “Glasshouse.”

Louis feels his eyes widen at the revelation. He lets out a slow breath through his lips. “Fuck, Haz, that’s the nicest place in town.” Glasshouse was an upscale Italian restaurant on the outskirts of town. Some of his friends liked to take dates there on special occasions to try to impress them or get into their pants. It was the type of place where you couldn’t get in without a reservation or a tie. Louis has never been there. He knows he could never afford a place that doesn’t even list prices on the menu.

“I know, but you wouldn’t have to pay for anything,” Harry quickly argues. “In fact, my mom would be offended if you even tried.”

“Harry, I don’t fit in at a place like that. I would feel so uncomfortable. I know it’s stupid, but I feel like everyone would know how poor I am. That I don’t belong,” Louis confesses, not meeting Harry’s eyes. He doesn’t like to talk about money or his finances. He doesn’t think that Harry can even fathom how poor he actually was growing up. People like Harry could never understand going to bed just to make the hunger pangs go away or staying for after school programs just so you know you will have a meal.

“I don’t care about any of that stuff, Lou. You could wear a t-shirt and jeans, and I wouldn’t care. You would still be the most gorgeous person in the place. I will do everything I can to make you feel comfortable. Don’t worry. Please, just come with me. I need you,” Harry begs, big green eyes shiny with emotion.

Harry needs him. Harry  _ needs  _ him. He can’t say no. It would be impossible, not with Harry’s pleading tone. Not with Harry saying that he needs someone like Louis. Louis sighs. “Fine. I’ll go. I think I have like a suit or something somewhere deep in my closet.”

Harry’s answering smile is brighter than the morning sun. Louis thinks, it may just be worth it.

__________

__  
  


“This isn’t worth it,” Louis whines to Liam. Poor Liam. The man is a saint for always putting up with Louis’ shit and overly dramatic self. Liam, thankfully, hasn’t brought up the fact that Harry stayed the night. He knows Liam knows because he was sitting on the couch when they emerged from Louis’ room after their conversation. 

“Jesus Christ, Lou, if I had a fucking dollar every time you had an outfit crisis over Harry, I could quit my second job as a bouncer,” Liam rolls his eyes.

“I am meeting his parents,” Louis replies, emphasizing the last word, trying to project how huge this is. “At an absurdly fucking nice restaurant that I don’t belong in.” Liam is maybe the only friend he has left that truly knows how Louis grew up.

“If he’s not your boyfriend, then why does it matter?” Liam asks, pushing the clothes in his closet around, causing the hangers to squeak on the metal bar.

“He’s not,” Louis insists, crossing his arms over his chest, looking down at his bare feet.

“Yeah. Yeah,” Liam says dismissively, pulling out a white button down and throwing it on the bed at Louis. Louis desperately wants to run his fingers through his hair and pull, but he can’t mess up the quiff he’s styled his hair into. That shit took forever. Instead he settles for tapping his fingers hard on his temples, willing his nerves about the evening to go away. He watches as Liam throws a black blazer to join the clothes on the bed.

“I don’t have a nice pair of pants to wear with that,” Louis says dejectedly. Why did he ever agree to this? He was going to make a fool of himself and look terrible.

“Wear your nice black skinny jeans,” Liam shrugs, throwing those on the bed as well.

“Won’t that look ridiculous?” Louis asks, rubbing his clean shaven jaw. He knows Harry likes the scruff, but he’s trying to impress Harry’s family for whatever reason, so he shaved.

“No. I think it will look fine. It’s in style now and everything. Plus, you will be comfortable,” Liam replies, looking at Louis.

“Alright,” Louis sighs, already feeling hopeless about this whole thing.

“Look Lou, you’ll be fine. His family will love you. You will charm the pants off them, like you did mine.”

“Liam, I was five when I met your family. I don’t even remember if I was even wearing pants, much less them,” Louis jokes, causing Liam to chuckle with the memory.

“Regardless, they are going to love you,” Liam reassures, sitting down next to Louis, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“I don’t know. I tend to rub people the wrong way with my honesty,” Louis admits, not looking at his friend, knowing he will see the answer written all over his expressive face.

“That’s not true. Sure, you’re not everyone’s cup of tea, but that doesn’t mean they will hate you. Harry obviously lo-likes you,” Liam says, moving into Louis’ line of vision.

“I’ll just play nice,” Louis nods, like he knows it is going to work. He honestly has no idea if it will work. He isn’t very good at holding his tongue when something displeases him or someone asks for his opinion. Sure he can, if it suits his needs, but he usually chooses not to.

“Just be yourself,” Liam advises, getting up from the bed.

Louis glances at the clothes Liam has laid out for him. The outfit, he admits, looks like it may be nice enough but it was missing something, “I don’t have a tie.”

“Well you’re in luck because I have some,” Liam responds, leaving Louis’ room and coming back with a skinny dark red and green vertical striped silk tie. Well, at least it looked like silk, probably isn’t though.

“Thanks, Li. You have no idea how grateful I am for you in all of this,” Louis says seriously, suddenly feeling the need for Liam to actually comprehend how much his support means to him. Liam’s dark eyes soften, and Louis knows that his best friend understands what he is trying to say.

“You’re welcome, man,” Liam replies, patting Louis on the shoulder. “Now change. Harry will be here any minute, so I’ll look for your dress shoes. You probably haven’t worn them since your mother’s wedding.”

Louis laughs as he begins pulling the items on because Liam knows him so fucking well. It only takes him three attempts and a YouTube video for Louis to properly tie the silky material around his neck. After putting on his shiny black shoes that Liam found in the deep recesses of the living room closet, he looks in the mirror, a bit impressed by what he sees. Liam was right, as always, the outfit looks good on him. His skinny jeans cling to his curvy thighs and hips, but aren’t obscenely tight. The jacket is fitted, but looks amazing on his small frame, his styled hair only adding to the posh look.

Just as he steps out of his room, he hears a knock on the door. He rolls his eyes at Liam when he gives him a smile and a thumbs up as he makes his way to the door, taking one deep breath as he opens it. Harry takes his breath away, quite literally. He is dressed in a peach colored button up shirt, the buttons done up past his navel, for once, with a black silk ribbon threaded through the collar, tied in a large bow around his neck. He’s paired it with a black blazer and black dress pants. Shiny black Chelsea boots adorn his large feet, his hair landing in loose curls around his shoulders. He is stunning.

Louis registers in the back of his mind that Harry also hissed in a breath at Louis’ appearance. Drinking him in from head to toe with a hungry gaze reflected in his eyes, Harry clears his throat. “You look amazing, Lou.”

Louis believes him. He feels handsome with Harry’s gaze on him like that. Like some kind of model or something, instead of some poor college student.

“What these old things? I have like a million of them,” Louis jokes to try to ease some of the sexual tension between them. “But thank you,” he adds quietly.

“You’re welcome.”

“You don’t look so bad yourself, Styles. You clean up nicely,” Louis says with a wink. Harry laughs, sufficiently breaking the tension. 

“Ready?” Harry asks. 

Louis doesn’t think he is ready, but smiles tightly and replies, “As I’ll ever be.” Then follows Harry out of the door.

They spend the short car ride talking about Harry’s family, Harry mostly supplying him with bits of information he thinks Louis may need to know for the dinner. It does nothing to calm Louis’ nerves as the pair make their way closer and closer to the restaurant. They pull up to Glasshouse, and Louis is kind of in awe. He has never been this close to it. It quite literally is an establishment made mostly out of glass, yet somehow still allows for privacy. Even in the light of the evening, Louis can see that it gave a certain amount of privacy to its guests. He can’t make out details or even where the tables are, somehow.

Harry pulls up to the curb, and gets out the car. Louis gives him a confused look but follows, watching Harry hand his keys to the valet. Of course there is a valet in a fancy ass place like this. Louis barely stops himself from rolling his eyes. He feels Harry’s large palm under his jacket, guiding him towards the entrance. Louis is so nervous, he briefly considers making a run for it, calling Liam, and going home to curl up in his safe bed. He takes a deep breath and swallows down his nerves as Harry holds open the door for him.

Harry squeezes his hand and leads them to the reception area confidently. Louis realizes that this is probably not the first time Harry has been here, or even to a similar establishment. He seems used to it, comfortable in the environment even. He fits. This fact makes Louis feel even more like a fish out of water. He looks around the dimly lit room and sees tables scattering the area, a candle or two lit on each one, some with flowers in the middle. Nothing so large that it would obscure the vision of the guests or the flow of conversation, but nice.

“Good evening. Reservation for Twist.” Harry smiles at the host.

“Please follow me, sirs. Your party is waiting,” the man replies as Harry and Louis follow him. The tables aren’t close together, giving even more privacy to the guests. They are led to a large table with a beautiful view of the river. Louis recognizes them immediately as Harry’s family, his mom and sister’s features so much like Harry’s it startles Louis, even though he has seen dozens of pictures. 

“Mom,” Harry greets, smile over-taking his face, dimples popping.

“Darling.” Anne stands from the table, pulling her son into a tight hug. Louis watches fondly as the other two family members do the same, exchanging hugs and kisses with Harry.  

“Mum, Robin, Gemma, this is my bo- umm… friend, Louis Tomlinson,” Harry introduces. A feeling of distress rises in Louis at Harry calling him his friend. The term doesn’t sit right with him because they feel like so much more, even to Louis. Louis clamps that feeling down, tight, refusing to go there tonight when he needs to concentrate on not making a fool of himself.

“Louis! It’s so nice to finally meet the boy Harry won’t shut up about,” Anne says, batting Louis’ hand away and pulling him into a warm hug. It is weird at first, being hugged by a stranger. Louis isn’t super touchy with most people, but he quickly relaxes into it. It reminds him of the safe comfort of his own mother’s arms.

“I don’t know what you’re referring to, mom. He only talks to me about him for about ten minutes each time we speak,” Gemma responds, sarcasm dripping from every word as she grins at Harry. Even in the dim light, Louis can see the blush prettily covering his cheeks. So Harry talks about him more than he lets on, interesting. He needs to know more.

“Oh really? You must tell me what he says,” Louis says, also grinning at Harry. He can already tell he is going to get along just fine with his sister. She seems sarcastic, too, which Louis appreciates. Maybe that is why Harry does so well with his own sense of humor. Perhaps it’s because Louis and Harry’s sister are very similar in that respect.

“Gems,” Harry warns from beside Louis, giving his sister a pleading look. This makes Louis laugh, but he feels a pang of sadness in his own chest at how much he misses his sisters. His family.

“I won’t.” Gemma smiles at Louis then winks, like that is the furthest thing from the truth.

“Sit down. Sit down,” Robin pipes in, taking his seat at the table, the rest of the company following suit. “I already ordered us a bottle of wine. I know Harry isn’t technically allowed to drink, but I know the owner, so it won’t be a problem.” 

The ease Louis found after the introduction is quickly destroyed when he looks at the menu. The whole fucking thing is in Italian, and Louis can’t read Italian. He can barely read English. Feeling overwhelmed, he squeezes Harry’s leg under the table, silently begging for help. Harry looks at him, and Louis can see the acknowledgement in his eyes. Thank the gods that Harry seems to know him so well, reading his mind sometimes. He glances around at the rest of the party, noting that they are all still studying their own menus before he leans in to whisper, “Don’t worry. I’ll order for you.”

Louis doesn’t like how relieved he feels at Harry’s offer. He should be able to order for himself, he isn’t a child, but he doesn’t even know where to begin. They don’t have pictures and pointing to something just seems rude. He gives Harry a small nod and a smile in confirmation and goes back to pretending to study the menu, mind racing with thoughts.

“Is everyone ready to order?” A waiter asks, pouring a glass of wine for everyone at the table. Louis doesn’t really like wine, but he will deal. He may need some alcohol to get through this night.

“I believe so,” Robin says, looking around the table. Everyone nods in confirmation. Robin orders first, then Anne, then Gemma. The waiter’s eyes land on Louis and he splutters, looking at Harry for help.

Harry clears his throat. “He will have the Fettucine Alfredo.” Louis recognizes that dish. Fuck they even offer it at Olive Garden, but he is still thankful for Harry because he wouldn’t have been able to pick it out on the menu among all the gibberish. “And I’ll have the Tortelloni Alla Zucca.” For some reason, hearing Harry speak Italian makes Louis’ dick twitch in his tight pants. He tampers down his lust, trying to concentrate on what Anne was asking him.

“Louis, Harry tells me you have a big family, do you see them often?”

“Unfortunately I don’t,” Louis admits, feeling a pang of longing in his chest. “They live about five hours away, and I don’t have a car. My mom and Dan are so busy with my younger siblings that they don’t usually have time to make the drive up.”

“Oh, that’s terrible. When is the last time you saw them?” Anne asks, genuine concern in her eyes and tone.

“Umm…” Louis does some quick calculations in his head to figure out the last time he saw his family, “I think it was December. I went home for the holidays and my birthday.”

“What? Louis, you haven’t seen them in six months?” Harry speaks up in disbelief from beside of him, squeezing Louis’ knee.

“Yeah,” Louis shrugs, trying to act as if it didn’t affect him. It does, but he wasn’t about to let that be known to a table full of people who are practically strangers.

“But you love your family. You have pictures of them all over your apartment. How can you go that long without seeing them?” Harry questions.

“It’s not by choice. I don’t have a car, Haz. Mom and Dan are too busy and usually can’t afford the trip up and back, especially with 6 screaming children. Liam’s family moved to Florida right after we graduated from high school, so I can’t catch a ride with him. It is what it is,” he shrugs, meeting Harry’s eyes, silently pleading for the other man to drop the subject. Harry must see something in Louis’ eyes because he looks down at his glass of wine, taking a small sip.

“Well it sounds like you have a lovely family though,” Anne smiles tightly.

“I do, Mrs. Twist,” Louis says politely, taking a sip of wine and ick. It is as dry as the desert. If this is what rich people drink, he wants no part of it.

“Oh please, call me Anne.” She waves dismissively.

After that, dinner goes well, if Louis does say so himself. His food is delicious, way better than Olive Garden. There aren’t many awkward pauses, and Louis is shocked to feel how comfortable he is among the group. He had assumed rich people would be way more uptight, but that doesn’t seem to be the case with Harry’s family. He and Gemma add sarcastic comments to the dialogue, chuckling at each other’s jokes. They all talk quietly over their meals, mostly about Louis and Harry’s summer, Gemma making jabs at the nature of Harry and Louis’ relationship as often as the conversation allows, Anne rolling her eyes fondly at her daughter’s antics and her son’s harsh blush. Robin is quiet, but nice, contributing to the conversation occasionally, but seemingly happy to sit and listen. Louis finds himself relaxing even more as the night moves forward.

__________

__  
  


“So Louis, Harry has told me you work at Starbucks, how long have you worked there?” His mom asks Louis after their plates have been cleared away.

“About two years. I am the assistant manager,” Louis supplies.

“Wow that’s great. Taking on a leadership role when you’re so young,” Robin compliments.

“Thank you. I am majoring in business, so it seemed like a good way to put something on my resume,” Louis says, glancing at Harry. Harry knows Louis is trying to tell him that this would be the perfect opportunity to discuss his major.

Harry suddenly feels nervous all over again, attempting to swallow the lump that has formed in his throat. He clears it, all eyes landing on him. He feels vulnerable under everyone’s stare, like he is being dissected. As if they know this is the moment Harry is going to explain why they are all here. He feels Louis’ small hand grab his own under the table, squeezing it reassuringly, calming him and giving him the strength to continue. “That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you all about.”

“Oh really? You wanted to speak to us about Louis’ major?” Gemma asks, laughing and breaking the tension that has built.

“No. I wanted to talk to you about my major,” Harry says, squeezing Louis’ hand like a lifeline. He glances over at the other man and is rewarded with an encouraging smile.

“Okay, dear. What about it?” Anne questions, a confused expression taking over her beautiful features.

“Well… umm... I don’t want to be pre-law anymore,” Harry says slowly, looking down at the center piece, not wanting to meet his mom’s accusing gaze.

“Is this about your silly little band?” Anne asks, making a dismissive hand gesture.

That comment hurts Harry down into his very soul. He loves his band, and he loves music however his mom has made it known from the start that she thinks it is all a waste of time. Both of his parents have actually. He sees Louis out of the corner of his eye straightening his posture, an angry look taking over his beautiful features. “Harry’s band is actually quite good, but no, that is not what this is about,” Louis quips. Harry gives him a small smile in thanks. It was nice to have someone on his side. He is so thankful that Louis agreed to come. He has no idea what he would do without him.

“Actually, I wanted to change my major to English,” Harry quickly explains before Anne could react to Louis’ comment.

“And what are you going to be able to do with a degree in English?” Anne questions harshly, spitting out the word like it’s poison.

Harry splutters because he really doesn’t know what to say. He turns pleading eyes to Louis, thankful that Louis seems to understand and takes over. “Actually, Anne, he could still go to law school with an English degree. According to my research, law schools actually look for someone with that type of degree because they can write well and comprehend material quickly. Law school is all about reading and writing. English students also tend to do well on the LSAT since they have been prepared through coursework that forces the student to think more critically about situations to give logical approaches and explanations.”

Once Louis finishes his speech, he is met with silence. Harry’s cock twitches because that may have been just about the sexiest thing Harry has ever witness then he looks at Louis with adoration all over his features, but he can’t help it. He is just so proud to call Louis his… friend. He allows his gaze to wander around the table, taking in the expressions of the rest of his family. Anne is squinting her eyes curiously at Louis, but she doesn’t seem angry. Robin looks impressed, nodding his head, and Gemma’s mouth is open in shock, like she can’t believe Louis just argued with their mother.

“I see,” Anne says after what feels like an eternity of silence. “I don’t know if your father will go for this, Harry. I just don’t see why you can’t continue with Pre-Law if you still plan to go to law school.”

Harry glances at Louis, again, telling him with his eyes that he will answer this question. At Louis’ nod, he proceeds, “English will just make me happier. I hate my pre-law courses. I have always loved writing, and if I decide not to go to Law School, I can be an editor or something. Don’t you want me to be happy?” He goes for the jugular, his ace in the hole, knowing Anne would never refuse her son happiness.

Anne’s features soften, just like he hoped they would. He gives himself a mental pat on the back. “Of course I want you to be happy, darling. I just don’t know how we will convince your father. You know how he can be, and he pays for half of your schooling.”

“Love, if he doesn’t agree and refuses to pay, you know we can afford all of it,” Robin finally chimes in, smiling at both Louis and Harry. Harry is relieved that they seemed to have swayed both of his parents to their side, again so thankful that Louis was on his side the entire time.

“I don’t know,” Anne says, shaking her head.

“Please, Mom. Just talk to him. You can even tell him exactly what Louis said,” Harry pleads.

“I can make a PowerPoint presentation complete with tables and graphs if you want me to,” Louis jokes, prompting everyone to laugh, breaking the tension just a bit. This is the moment that Harry realizes he may actually love Louis. He just knows Harry, knows what to say in every situation. He is so caring and sweet. He shakes his head, pushing the thoughts away, because no.

“No, I think I’ll manage. I will talk to your father, Harry, but you may have to discuss it with him, too. It is already July, so we don’t have a ton of time to change your schedule,” Anne responds.

“He will be fine. Students can adjust their schedules up until the end of the first week of class. Students drop all kind of courses for whatever reason during that week, so I don’t think he will have any issues,” Louis explains.

“How do you know all of this?” Harry asks in astonishment, because it seems like Louis knows everything about the inner workings of the college system, while he knows nothing.

“I was the first in my family to actually go to a four-year college, so I was left to figure out most of it on my own,” Louis shrugs it off, but Harry feels sympathy for the other man. He has no idea what he would have done without his family to help him through everything from FAFSA to orientation to registration. It must have been really difficult for Louis to go through all of that alone, and still be successful.   

They all finish their dessert, going back to the ease of the conversation they had before. Harry is less nervous now that they have discussed his major, squeezing Louis’ hand and mouthing a ‘thank you’, trying to portray everything he feels for him with one look. Harry and Louis share a dessert, both feeling too full to actually eat a whole one on their own. 

After dessert, they all say their goodbyes, his mom and Gemma both hugging Louis. Gemma whispers something in his ear that causes Louis to freeze on the spot, then nods. He makes a mental note to ask Gemma what she said that would cause such a reaction. Robin shakes Louis’ hand, and he knows then that Louis has managed to charm his entire family. He knew he would, but it is nice to have confirmation. Anne catches Harry’s gaze and winks knowingly as he and Louis make their way towards the exit.

“Thank you, again, Louis, for being with me tonight. I don’t know if I could have done it without you,” Harry says when they are buckled into the car, driving back towards Louis’ apartment.

“Don’t be silly. You would have done just fine without me, but you’re welcome,” Louis responds, taking Harry’s free hand and squeezing.

“It means a lot. Really. I could tell that my family loved you though. I think you really impressed Robin,” Harry tells him, feeling the need to reassure Louis that the evening was amazing. Better than even he could have hoped for, knowing that Louis was worried about the dinner before they left.

“I really liked your family, Haz. They are all so nice, although I thought your mom was going to stab me for a second there,” Louis laughs.

“Nah. She wouldn’t have done that, maybe just smacked you a bit,” Harry laughs with him.

“She reminds me a bit of my mom, to be honest. My mom is the same way. Super nice and caring, but she could easily take your head off if prompted,” Louis smiles, seemingly lost in his own memory.

That is the perfect opening for Harry to ask the question that has been on his mind since Louis had mentioned his family over dinner. He takes a deep breath, trying to figure out the best way to approach it since Louis could be sensitive about the issue. He decides to just go for it, not really wanting to play a mental game of chess with Louis at the current moment. “So… umm… I’ve been thinking.”

“Dangerous,” Louis quips with a smile, giving Harry his full attention in the dim light of the vehicle.

“I want to take you home to see your family,” he says all in one breath. Out of his peripheral vision, he sees Louis stiffen. He chances a glance at him, but can’t tell what he is thinking.

“No,” Louis finally says, not looking at Harry.

“Come on, Louis. I know you miss them. You are so close with all of them, and you haven’t seen them in six months. Once the school year starts, you may not see them again until your birthday,” Harry argues, glancing away from the road. Louis’ expression has softened just a touch. Harry knows he is getting to him.

“I can’t let you do that.”

“You’re not letting me do anything. I’m offering. I want to. You deserve to see your family. If it will make you feel more comfortable, I could even get a hotel while I am there,” Harry proposes, hoping to ease Louis’ fears, if that was what they were about.

“Don’t be stupid, Haz. My mother would kill me if you brought me in then stayed at a hotel. She wouldn’t bat an eyelash at me sharing my room with you. Liam used to do it all the time when he stayed the night,” Louis tells him, and Harry is relieved that he at least seems to be considering it.

“Okay. Let me take you home. I know it is a long drive, but we could make a weekend of it. I know I can get off at the bakery, and they love you at Starbucks therefor you shouldn’t have any issue getting off for a few days. We can go two weekends from now. Give your mom enough time to plan for us,” Harry reasons, his tone just on the edge of pleading.

“Fine, but Harry, you have to understand,” Louis starts, the strain in his voice causing Harry to listen. He sounds almost sad, and Harry hates it. “My house is small. It is cluttered and loud all of the time. There is hardly any privacy. Everyone shares one bathroom except my Mom and Dan who have an ensuite. It’s probably nothing like you’re used to.” 

Harry can tell he is embarrassed, but he doesn’t have to be. “Lou, I love that. I love it when a house feels lived in. It was just me, my mom, and my sister throughout most of my childhood, so it will be a nice change of pace. Please let me do this for you.”

“Harry, you already do so much for me,” Louis says sadly, sounding almost detached.

“That’s because I lo- really care about you.” Fuck. Harry almost said the ‘L’ word. He is startled because he realizes that he feels it, deep down in his bones. He is starting to love Louis. He has known it for a while, but this is the first time, other than the brief moment during dinner, that he has acknowledged it. “Plus, you do a lot for me, too.”

“Like what?” Louis spits, anger in the edges of his voice.

“Like what you just did. Being supportive during a very hard and probably extremely awkward situation. Standing up for my band to my mother. Helping me face my fears of deep water. Just because you can’t buy me shit doesn’t mean you don’t do anything for me,” Harry states passionately, trying to get Louis to understand.

After what seems like forever, Louis finally sighs, “Fine. I’ll talk to my mom.”

“Good,” Harry says, pulling to the curb in front of Louis’ apartment.

“Do you wanna come up?” Louis asks shyly.

“Yeah, sure,” Harry shrugs, getting out the car, staring at Louis’ ass in his skinny jeans as they make their way to the door. He looks so good tonight. His blazer fits him just right, showing off his petite frame. A wave of arousal hits Harry as they make their way into the apartment. Before he can stop himself, he is on Louis, kissing his lips passionately. Louis stumbles for a moment at the impact, but quickly recovers, returning the kiss eagerly. He doesn’t even know if Liam is there, but he doesn’t care.

“Bedroom,” Harry murmurs between kisses, hand coming up to cup Louis’ smooth jawline. He misses his stubble, but he knows it will grow back soon. Not breaking their impromptu make out session, Louis walks them into the bedroom, only knocking Harry’s back against the wall once in the process, but that’s okay because Harry likes it rough. Likes to be dominated.

“Fuck,” Harry says once they get into the bedroom, breaking their kiss. Louis’ lips are pink from their rough kisses, his perfect quiff disheveled from Harry’s fingers. “Did I ever tell you how fucking beautiful you look tonight?”

“I don’t believe so,” Louis replies with a cocky smile. Harry kisses it off his face, running long fingers through his hair again. They slowly begin removing items of clothing, one by one, only breaking apart when absolutely necessary. Once they are both fully naked, Louis pushes Harry down on the bed, climbing between his legs, so much more confident than he was the night before. Harry loves it.

“Fuck, Haz, gonna open you up,” Louis says, hungry gaze roaming all over Harry’s body, making him feel exposed, an excited tingle running down his spine. Louis reaches for the lube and smacks Harry’s thigh as a silent command to spread his legs. Harry does it quickly, wanting this just as bad as Louis.

He moans when he feels Louis’ slicked up fingers between his cheeks, fluttering over his hole. Louis easily inserts his first finger all the way up to the last knuckle, Harry is kind of still open from the night before. It hurts because it is still sore, but the pain is fucking incredible, only adding to the pleasure. He bucks his hips, grinding down on the digit as it stretches his hole. His whole body tingles with anticipation as he silently begs Louis to add another one, needing to feel full again, already missing the feeling of Louis’ cock buried deep inside of him. When Louis does, Harry moans brokenly, fucking down onto his fingers.

“Feels so good, Lou. So good with your fingers inside. I can’t wait until you fill me up with your cock,” Harry babbles, attempting to spur Louis on and add another finger already. It works because soon he feels a third finger splitting him open. His eyes roll back into his head in pleasure.

“That’s it, love. You take my fingers so good. You take my dick even better though,” Louis says, voice rough with arousal. It sends a spark straight into Harry’s already hard cock, unsure which he likes more, the term of endearment or the filthy words. Harry loves Louis’ dirty talk.

“Can I ride you?” Harry asks, hearing the desperation even in his own voice.

“What?” Louis returns his question with one of his own, looking surprised.

“I wanna ride your cock,” Harry almost growls, sitting up and flipping them. He whimpers when Louis removes his fingers in the process, already missing the loss.

“Yeah, okay,” Louis says hazily, watching as Harry rolls a condom on him and slicks his cock up with more lube. He straddles Louis, Louis’ small hands automatically coming up to grip his hips. He reaches around to grab Louis’ cock, lining it up with his hole then sinks down agonizingly slow. Once he bottoms out, he stops, looking down at Louis. Louis eyes are wide; like he can’t believe exactly what is happening.

“Fuck, Haz. Move. Please  _ move _ ,” Louis begs through gritted teeth, like his is trying stop himself from thrusting up, so Harry begins to move. Slowly at first, letting his body adjust to the burn and stretch around Louis’ girth.

“Oh, God,” Harry moans once he builds a steady rhythm causing Louis’ hard length to graze his prostate with every other thrust. Louis is surprisingly quiet, watching Harry ride him with a look of awe on his face. His blue eyes are glazed over in pleasure, and he is biting his own lip hard, gripping onto Harry’s hips like a lifeline.

Harry leans down and captures Louis’ lips in a searing kiss, quickly licking into it, swallowing Louis’ moans from the change of angle. Louis then grabs Harry’s hip to steady him just over his cock, not down all the way. He feels Louis adjust his legs behind him, placing the flats of his feet on the mattress. He bites the juncture between Harry’s neck and collar bone hard and begins fucking up into Harry mercilessly. Harry just lays there, taking it because there isn’t much else he can do. His cock is caught between Louis’ chest and his own, causing a delicious friction, adding to his own approaching orgasm.

“Fuck, baby, you’re so tight,” Louis says, continuing his relentless pace, drops of sweat beading on his forehead. Their chests are also slick with sweat, causing the glide over Harry’s cock to be that much more electrifying. He is getting close, just needing something to push him over the edge.

“Gonna fill you up baby. You want that? Want my come in you?” Louis growls into his ear. He knows, logically, that Louis is wearing a condom, but that doesn’t stop his body’s response. It explodes with the force of his orgasm, shooting spurt after spurt of hot come all over their chests.

Louis thrusts once more up into Harry then groans with his own orgasm, releasing into the condom. He eyes are closed, and he has a look of pure ecstasy on his beautiful features. Harry is suddenly so thankful he gets to experience Louis like this. Louis without his walls up, not thinking about his every move. Louis just living in the moment of pleasure. After a few moments of heavy breathing, Harry starts to get over sensitive. He slowly removes himself from Louis’ soft cock. He grabs some tissues and cleans them up, too tired to shower, as Louis removes and ties off the condom.

Louis leaves the room for a minute, probably going to the bathroom to take out his contacts, then comes back and climbs in bed. Harry doesn’t even ask, he just shuts off the light and clambers into bed with Louis for the second time in 24 hours. It feels right. Louis opens his arms for Harry to bury himself in them, curling up with his back to Louis’ chest. Louis lightly scratches his scalp before he puts his arms around him, pulling him impossibly closer. They don’t say anything as they fall asleep in their post coital bliss. The last thing Harry thinks is that he loves Louis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and Comments are always welcome!  
> Follow me on my social media for updates or just to chat xx  
> Twitter: @Wicked_Archer  
> Tumblr: wicked-archer


	9. Carnival of Rust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys take Louis on an adventure where he's forced to face his fears, with Harry by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a [Spotify Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/mmbrabd/playlist/3K8GDQgXDwKVDLVF6h3H1T?si=sgO-djloQzmO81_jPnYdYQ%20rel=) that will be updated weekly with the songs represented as chapter titles as well as any other songs that are featured in each chapter.

_ Come feed the rain  
_ _ 'Cause I'm thirsty for your love  
_ _ Dancing underneath the skies of lust  
_ _ Yeah feed the rain  
_ _ 'Cause without your love, my life  
_ __ Ain't nothing but this carnival of rust- Poets of the Fall

 

“Why did you feel the need to get me up at bullshit o’clock? Where the fuck are we going?” Louis asks for what felt like the 113 th time that morning since Harry, Niall and Liam literally pulled him out of bed. He is grumpy from lack of sleep. His bed has felt cold without Harry in it over the last few days, their schedules not aligning for them to hang out much. He is sat in the passenger seat of Harry’s jeep, with Harry behind the wheel and an excited Niall and Liam in the back.

When they had woken him up that morning, all they would tell him was that they all had the day off for once, and to celebrate they were doing something fun, but they had all been tight lipped about it ever since. Louis hates surprises. Despises them actually, with every fiber of his being.

“Liam says I’m not allowed to tell you,” Harry answers guiltily from the driver’s seat, patting Louis’ knee. They are all dressed in shorts and tank-tops. He was told to wear comfortable clothes and shoes, but that’s all. He figures they are doing something outdoors though, since Harry forced him to put on sunscreen before they all piled into his vehicle.

“Fuck you, Liam,” Louis spits, turning around to glare at his best friend. Liam just chuckles, not really bothered by Louis’ crankiness. Louis wants to punch him.

“Look, Lou, I got you coffee,” Harry says, waving the Starbucks cup in front of his face like a treat.

“You better get me McDonalds too.” Louis crosses his arms over his chest, refusing to take the coffee.

“Deal!” Niall chimes in from the back seat. “Now onward Harry!”   

Harry chuckles, and Louis decides to take the coffee. He is going to need it after all. They go through the drive through to get McDonalds then are on their way to the undisclosed location with Harry’s ‘road trip’ playlist playing in the background. They all talk animatedly, sometimes even singing, harmonizing surprisingly well with all four them. Harry talks about the concert he wants to attend in August, hinting at his three companions that he needs someone to go with. Louis isn’t all that interested in the bands playing, but smiles and rolls his eyes because Harry has been not-so-subtly hinting for weeks now.  

Louis’ bad mood seems to dissipate when he is in the company of his best friends. He realizes very quickly that these three boys really are his best friends. He doesn’t know what he would do without Harry, but he fucked up. Harry probably wants a relationship, a real boyfriend and Louis doesn’t know if he can give him that. He pushes the thought away.

“Almost there!” Harry announces, glancing at the GPS.

“‘Bout fucking time,” Niall says from the backseat, making everyone laugh. They have only been traveling for about an hour and a half, but it seems like so much longer to Louis since he had no idea where they were heading to.

In the distance, Louis begins to see roller-coasters, and his stomach drops. That can’t be where they are going. Before he jumps to conclusions, he waits. Harry begins following the signs that say “RainbowPark” in big colorful letters. Louis gasps in shock when they pull into the parking lot, Harry quickly finding a spot.

“Fuck no. I am not going in there,” Louis says, already shaking from fear. He hates amusement parks. He honestly has never been to one since their family could never afford to take so many children to them in the summer. He has never been on a roller-coaster. He hates heights though, so he has never had the desire. 

“This is why Liam told me I wasn’t allowed to tell you,” Harry sighs, turning off the ignition. They were still fairly early, not many people were there yet.

“Told you, Haz. Louis doesn’t like Amusement Parks,” Liam says from the back.

“But why?” Harry asks, eyebrows drawn into a frown.

“Because,” Louis answers, crossing his arms over his chest, bad mood suddenly returning.

“He has never been on a roller-coaster. I don’t even think he has ever been to an amusement park actually,” Liam supplies, and Louis shoots him a death glare. He doesn’t want to tell Harry the reason why he hasn’t been to one.

“What? How is that possible?” Harry exclaims in shock, green eyes wide.

“Liam. Niall. Will you please get out of the car, I need to speak to Harry alone,” Louis commands, not taking his eyes from Harry. Liam and Niall quickly oblige, making their way towards the entrance to wait.

“I am not going in there,” Louis says again once their friends exit the vehicle.

“Come on, Lou. We’re already here. It’ll be fun, I promise. We hardly ever have a day to spend to ourselves, just us guys. Plus, if you don’t come in then we will have an odd number, and I will have to ride the rides with a stranger,” Harry pleads, a prominent pout on his features. Stupid Harry and his stupid face, always causing him to do stupid things.

Louis glances towards the entrance and sighs, already feeling his resolve crumble with Harry’s pleading look. “Fine.”

Harry beams for a short while, then frowns again. “Wait,” Harry says, and Louis can feel one large hand on his elbow stopping him from exiting the car. “How is it possible that you are 21 years old and haven’t been to an amusement park?”

“Had a big family, and we were poor. Couldn’t exactly afford a family trip to a place like that. I am also kind of petrified of heights,” Louis admits with a shrug. He can feel the embarrassment burn him like a brand all over his cheeks and chest. He hates telling anyone about how he grew up and hates even more admitting a fear, but it is Harry. Harry who has always admitted his fears to Louis, so Louis feels he needs to return the sentiment.

“I’m sorry, Lou. I had no idea. Niall and Liam wanted to do this, but Liam said that not even I could convince you. He didn’t say why though. If I had known, I would have talked to you about it first,” Harry says, the honesty in his words seeping into Louis’ pores, cooling his skin.

“It’s alright. I suppose I should go to an amusement park at least once in my life and ride a roller-coaster,” Louis shrugs off Harry’s concern.

“I’ll be with you the entire time. I will be beside you on every single ride,” Harry promises, grabbing his hand and kissing it. Louis returns his bright smile with a small one of his own, then they exit the vehicle.

“You’re magical. Like seriously Harry, you must give the best head,” Liam quips to Harry as he and Louis make their way towards their two friends.

“What?” Harry asks, confused.

“For getting Louis out of the car and agreeing to come in,” Liam replies, pointing towards Louis.

“Do the world a favor and go fuck yourself,” Louis says, rolling his eyes at his friend and shoving his hands into his pockets, pretending he didn’t hear his comment about head because, yes, Harry does give great head.

“Alright. Are you guys ready to this show on the road?” Niall claps, breaking the tension.

“Yeah. Here are the tickets,” Harry reaches into his back pocket and retrieves 4 printed tickets, then hands them out to each of his friends. They go through the entrance, each getting express passes that Harry had purchased. Louis didn’t want to know exactly how much this cost him. 

“Alright. I say we get Lou on the biggest roller-coaster first, you know, make him face his fears and all of that shit,” Niall says, grabbing a park map and unfolding it with Liam looking over his shoulder.

“Louis is not going to ride one that goes upside down,” Louis interjects, referring to himself in third person. He glances wearily around the park. It is starting to become more crowded. There are a ton of rides and families everywhere, laughing and talking amongst themselves. A pang of missing his own family hits his chest. He is so very thankful that he will get to see them soon by way of Harry’s offer. He doesn’t know how he feels quite yet about taking Harry home with him. His mom can usually read him like a book, so he doesn’t know how to hide the fact that he and Harry have been… well, seeing each other.

“Got it!” Niall exclaims, pulling Louis out of his thoughts. “We need to go this way,” he says, pointing then leading the way towards what Louis can see in the distance as a very large roller-coaster. Harry grabs his elbow, and slows him down, letting Liam and Niall lead.

“You don’t have to do anything you’re completely uncomfortable with,” He says in a low voice, catching Louis eyes.

“It’s fine, Haz,” Louis assures, breaking their eye contact and looking forward, keeping his chin level with the ground. He isn’t going to show anyone how freaked out he really is. He keeps his hands in his pockets as they walk towards their destination, so Harry can’t see how badly he is shaking. He knows he gets quieter the closer they get, but he can’t help himself. The roller-coaster they are obviously going to is massive and looks menacing despite it’s bright paint job.

 

__________

  
  


Harry glances over at Louis as they join the back of the line for the roller-coaster. Louis’ normally tan and vibrant skin has turned gray, beads of sweat dot his forehead, and he is visibly shaking despite shoving his hands in his pockets, attempting not to show it. He has bitten his lip raw, almost to the point that it is bleeding. Louis is scared, and Harry feels helpless. He is so used to Louis being the strong one, the one that isn’t scared of anything, but now he needs to be that for Louis. He just doesn’t know how. Louis doesn’t like to accept help, and he really doesn’t want to piss him off.

“Will you hold my hand on the ride?” Harry asks in an attempt to distract him. Harry knows Louis. He knows the man would do anything he could to help a friend in need, so maybe if he thought Harry was also scared, then he would hold Harry’s hand and relieve some of his own fears.

“You’re not scared,” Louis calls him on it.

“I was just looking for a reason to hold your hand,” Harry smiles, putting a little bit of flirtation in his tone.

Louis rolls his eyes then smiles. He relaxes a tiny bit, and Harry is proud of himself. “Fine. I will hold your hand.”

“Good. I like holding your hand,” Harry says conversationally. He doesn’t think Louis realizes that they moved up in the line quite a bit, getting closer and closer to the front.

“Why?” Louis looks genuinely curious.

“I don’t know. We don’t do it that often, but when we do, it just feels like they fit. You know? Like, your hand is a lot smaller than mine, but it works somehow,” Harry answers honestly, looking down at his feet. He looks up to see Louis considering his answer, seeming to roll the words around in his head.

“Yeah. I can see that,” he finally says, then it is their turn to get on the roller-coaster. When he sees Louis freeze, looking at the cars, Harry takes his hand and leads him to car right behind the front, since Niall and Liam took the front car. He hears Louis taking deep shaky breaths beside him as they strap themselves in.

“It’s okay to scream and grip my hand as tight as you want. I will be right here,” Harry tries to comfort him, holding his hand tight.

“If we die, I will kill you,” Louis threatens with a small smile, releasing his hand to run it nervously through his own hair, messing it up a bit.

“I don’t think it works like that,” Harry chuckles. “But we aren’t going to die. These things are perfectly safe now. They have to do safety checks on all the rides every hour or so.”

“Good to know,” Louis breathes out, closing his eyes as the attendant comes around, making sure everyone is buckled in properly. Harry is worried. He has never seen Louis so freaked out, then again, he really hasn’t known him that long.

As soon as the ride starts to move, Louis grabs Harry’s hand again and squeezes. Instead of paying attention to the ride, Harry watches Louis, whose eyes are closed, breathing shallowly. They slowly begin the ascend to the first huge drop. Louis’ knuckles are white from gripping the bar so tight, and he is starting to hurt Harry’s hand. Harry doesn’t care; he isn’t going to let go. Louis could break it, and he still wouldn’t let go.

“I can’t do this, Haz,” Louis says when they are halfway up, looking at Harry with wide, panicked eyes. Harry’s heart breaks a little bit for him.

“Yes, you can. Just pretend you’re riding a dragon,” Harry laughs, kissing Louis on the cheek. The angle is awkward in the tight confines of the car, but he manages.

“No, I can’t. I don’t even want to ride a stupid dragon. My name isn’t Hiccup. It’s too high. I’m scared.” Louis’ voice waivers, putting another crack in Harry’s heart. He never wants to put him through this again. Never wants to see or hear Louis like this for the rest of his life.

“You’re fine, love. Deep breaths,” Harry soothes, seeing that they are almost to the top of the plunge. He watches Louis try to take deep breaths. A single tear trails down his cheek as the roller-coaster pauses at the top, then plunges down into oblivion. After that, everything happens so fast, Harry can’t process all of the information. Louis is screaming and gripping his hand like a vice next to him as the car makes its way along the track at high speed. Niall and Liam have their arms raised above their head and are shouting in joy. Harry is torn between enjoying the ride, and his worry for Louis.

As the car slows down, beginning to pull into the main station, Harry sees that Louis’ eyes are glued shut, a few tears still trailing down his cheeks. “It’s over, love. You can open your eyes now.”

“Fucking finally,” Louis sighs in relief, blinking his eyes open and looking around. He loosens his grip on Harry’s hand, but doesn’t let go completely. Harry takes his free hand to wipe the tears from Louis’ face.

“You okay?”

“No,” Louis answers, his voice shaky and hoarse from all of the screaming. “I have turned into Ernest because I think I pissed my pants.”

Harry burst out laughing, the loud annoying laugh that only Louis seems to be able to bring from him. He couldn’t help it. Leave it to Louis to make a joke when he is scared shitless. “No you didn’t. I think I would have noticed.”

“I’m a mess,” Louis gestures to himself, running his free hand through his hair, attempting to fix the wind messed strands, wiping his eyes again. “I’m sorry I acted like such a fucking baby.”

“You were scared. We all have fears, Lou. I am so proud of you for facing them, though. You were amazing,” Harry says, and he means it. He really is proud of Louis. He could barely swim in water just over his head. He couldn’t imagine being scared of heights then getting on the tallest roller-coaster in an amusement park. The cars pull to a stop and the safety belts release, allowing them to exit the vehicle. Louis jumps out so quickly that Harry has to laugh again.

“Let’s do the haunted house next,” Niall says, looking at the map again.

“No. I hate haunted houses. I hate being scared,” Harry shoots down, resolutely.

“Come on, love. I just rode a big ass roller-coaster with you. You can come through the haunted house with us,” Louis begs, giving Harry the puppy dog eyes and a pouty lip.

“I don’t know,” Harry says, feeling his resolve dissolve because it’s fucking Louis. Louis could talk him into cutting off his own toe with fingernail clippers.

“You can even hold my hand,” Louis winks, holding up his right hand and wiggling his fingers.

“Fine,” Harry gives in, grabbing Louis’ hand now even though they aren’t to the line for the ride yet. They follow Niall, the official park planner, to their destination, all talking about the roller-coaster they were just on. Harry diverts discussing Louis’ reaction, not wanting to hurt Louis’ pride. As they get in line to the Haunted House, Harry can feel his nerves coming on in full force. He hears screaming and all sorts of creepy sounds coming from the location. They talk among themselves, Louis never letting go of his hand, as they make their way towards the front.

“Two at a time,” the attendant instructs, holding up two meaty fingers then pointing at the next empty car coming down the track. The boys all look at each other questioningly, trying to decide without words which group was going to go first.

“Haz and I will go first,” Louis finally pipes up.

“We will?” Harry asks incredulously.

“Yeah. Get it over with,” Louis says with a wink, pulling him by their linked hands into the car. They listen to the lecture of the attendant as they safely buckle themselves into the small cart, Harry folding his long legs in, taking up much more room than Louis. Harry takes a few deep breaths as the cart lurches forward in to darkness. After that, everything else is a blur of flashing lights, choking smoke, and his own screams. He clutches Louis’ hand like a lifeline because he can’t see him, but he needs to know he is there. His breaths are coming quick and shallow, as they exit the car. He can’t seem to make himself breathe properly, like someone is compressing his lungs. He stumbles out of the car and leans against the wall, he registers Louis is right in front of him, eyes wide with concern.

“Haz? What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Louis’ panicked voice rings through his clouded thoughts. His vision is getting hazy from lack of oxygen.

“Can’t… breathe,” Harry manages to get out through shallow breaths, desperately trying to get air into his lungs. His lungs feel like they’re on fire, as if his throat is closing. He coughs out every breath he manages to inhale.  He can feel himself beginning to panic. He knows what this is. He could recognize the symptoms anywhere. He is having an asthma attack.

“Shit, Haz, try to take deep breaths,” Louis instructs, putting one small hand on Harry’s sternum, the warmth seeping in through his tank top. Harry tries to focus on that hand, but he still can’t inhale. His breaths are coming in short gasps, wheezing in and out of his lungs. His vision is beginning to darken around the edges as he tries to focus on Louis’ words and face.

“Here, love, I need you to breathe in for me,” Louis’ calming voice breaks through his panicked haze. “On the count of three, I want you to take as deep of a breath as you can.” On three, Louis puts something up to Harry’s lips. On instinct, Harry closes his mouth around the object and inhales as deeply as his lungs will allow, but this air feels different. It tastes odd yet familiar. He does it again, with the same effect. Louis pulls the object away, and Harry can feel his lungs relaxing, taking in gulps of air to get his oxygen levels back up. When he is finally able to crack open his eyes, he is met with the blue of Louis’, fear and concern evident in them.

“Baby, are you okay?” Louis asks, his voice even higher than normal, cracking with worry.

“Yes. I think so,” Harry rasps out, placing his hand over Louis’ which is still on his chest. His heart rate is starting to return to normal, vision even more clear than before.

“You scared the fuck out of me,” Louis says, releasing a breath and sagging with relief. “I think you had an asthma attack.”

It is then that Harry notices Louis is gripping his inhaler in his free hand. He is also shaking and white, looking scared to death. “Where did you get the inhaler?”

“It’s yours. It’s the one I had you bring to my place just in case. I stuck it in my pocket before we left because I thought we would be doing something in the outdoors, and I know pollen and shit can trigger an attack,” Louis shrugs nonchalantly, like he didn’t just save Harry’s life. Harry launches himself at Louis, wrapping his arms around the smaller man, squeezing him tight.

“Thank you,” Harry says, trying to pour every ounce of his gratitude into the word. He kisses him, then, chaste and sweet.

“What the fuck, Lou. You look like you’ve seen a ghost. The haunted house wasn’t that bad,” Liam’s voice breaks their moment. They pull apart, but Louis keeps his hand on Harry’s chest, like he wants to ensure that Harry is still breathing properly.

“I had an asthma attack,” Harry answers, trying to downplay how bad it actually was.

“Shit, man, are you alright?” Niall asks, blue eyes full of concern. Liam mirrors his expression, walking up to Harry and putting a warm hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah. Louis had my inhaler, thank god. I think the smoke in there triggered it.” Louis looks down shyly at Harry’s statement, shoving the inhaler back in his pocket.

“Wow, Lou. Good thinking,” Liam says as both he and Niall pat Louis on the back.

“Yeah. I didn’t even think of that. I don’t even think I have seen Harry have an attack,” Niall adds.

“Are you good for another ride?” Liam asks, brown eyes boring into Harry’s.

“Yeah. I think I’m fine now,” Harry says shakily, then adds “Maybe nothing too thrilling for now though.”

“Sure thing,” Niall promises, looking at the map with Liam, planning their next destination.

“You really scared me, baby. Are you sure you’re alright?” Louis asks in a low voice, not wanting the others to overhear. Harry blushes at the pet name, trying to tell himself that it means nothing. Louis is just a bit freaked out over what happened and maybe saying things he doesn’t really mean.

“Yeah. I’m fine now, thanks to you. I’m sorry I freaked you out,” Harry says, giving Louis his brightest smile and squeezing his hand, because he deserves everything Harry has to give him. His thoughtfulness and quick thinking touches Harry in a way that he isn’t sure he can identify. If nothing else, it makes his love for him that much stronger. He almost tells Louis right then and there his feelings, but manages to refrain when they begin walking again.

“It’s okay, love. I’m just glad you’re alright.”

 

__________

  
  


They pause their riding to eat lunch at the food court area in the middle of the park. Louis has to admit that he has had a lot of fun on some of the other rides so far, as long as they didn’t go too high in the air. He even enjoyed one or two of the smaller roller-coasters with Harry by his side. They haven’t gone on anymore large coasters, for that he is thankful, and his heart has finally calmed down after Harry scared the ever-loving-shit out of him after the Haunted House.

“Harry!” Someone yells in the distance.

They all turn in the direction of the voice, looking through the crowd for whoever it is that knows Harry’s name. A guy is approaching their table. He is ridiculously tall with even taller hair, and Louis already kind of hates him for being so fucking tall. He is smiling at Harry as he approaches.

“Fuck, not this guy,” Louis hears Niall mumble when he gets a look at who is calling Harry’s name.

“Oh, Nick. Hi,” Harry greets, standing up to give the guy a quick hug. He is even taller than Harry. This new guy, Nick, what a douchey name, squeezes himself in between Harry and Niall. Niall rolls his eyes then scoots down closer to Liam.

“Fancy seeing you here. And who are you?” Nick asks, gesturing towards Louis and Liam.

“Oh. This is my friend Liam and my umm… other friend Louis,” Harry introduces. For the second time, Louis finds himself hating being referred to as Harry’s friend. He tamps down the feeling and reaches out to shake Nick’s outstretched hand.

“Hi. I’m Harry’s ex-boyfriend, Nick.” He smiles smugly, and Harry looks down at his food in obvious embarrassment at the comment. Nick ignores his discomfort, so Louis places a hand on Harry’s knee, trying to tell him that he would more than happy to punch this guy for him.

“Yeah, yeah. We get it Nick. Now would you kindly piss off,” Niall says around a bite of his burger.

“You always were the charmer, young Niall,” Nick smiles again while Niall rolls his eyes. Louis can feel the burn of jealousy deep in his stomach, rising up in his throat, attempting to choke him.

“So Louis, Liam, how do you know Harry here?” Nick asks, gesturing towards Harry who is still not making eye contact with anyone at the table.

“We met at a party,” Liam supplies, always the nice one. “Niall and I are in the same program and both brought these two with us to a party that some of our friends were throwing.”

“Yeah. Harry and Louis  _ really  _ hit it off,” Niall adds, putting emphasis on the word ‘really’ then winking, hoping that Nick would get his real meaning.

“Oh. Are you two dating then?” Nick asks Harry and Louis. An awkward silence falls on the table, no one really wanting to answer the question.

“I don’t believe that is any of your fucking business, Nate,” Louis spits out, purposely getting Nick’s name wrong, because he doesn’t even know how to answer the question. He almost says ‘yes’ just to wipe the smug look off the other man’s face.

“Hey, man, I was just curious,” Nick says, holding both hands up in a surrendering gesture, but his face makes it known that his comment was anything but curiosity.  

“Sure you were,” Niall replies, and bless him. Louis could kiss him if he were into guys. Well, into guys other than Harry, that is.

“How did you meet, Harry?” Liam asks politely, causing Niall to groan dramatically. Louis chuckles because he feels the same way.

“Funny you ask that. We actually meet at an art gallery. Some of my art was displayed there,” Nick answers arrogantly.

“Yeah, he’s artsy,” Niall says, using two fingers to put quotation marks around the words. Louis does a jacking off gesture with his hand and rolls his eyes, causing Niall to laugh hysterically. Even serious Liam chuckles at his antics. Nick narrows his eyes at him, seeming angry. Good. Louis is pleased that he pissed this douche-nozzle off. Maybe he will get the hint and go away.

“Well, I should be getting back to my group. It was nice seeing you, Harry. Text me sometime, maybe we can hang out. I know things didn’t work out last time, but I would be happy to give it another go.” Nick winks then unfolds his long legs from under the table and disappears back towards whatever slimy swamp he came from. Louis really wants to wrap his hands around Nick’s pencil neck and watch as the light leaves his eyes, but he wasn’t going to say that out loud. That would make him sound insane, and maybe he is a tiny bit insane. 

“Well that was fun!” Niall says brightly in attempt to break the tension, but no one laughs. Harry is still looking down at his food.

“Niall, umm… do you wanna come with me to get us some milkshakes?” Liam asks, gesturing for Niall to do so, even if he doesn’t want to. Louis knows Liam is just trying to give him and Harry time alone, bless him.

“Yeah,” Niall answers, eyes darting between both Louis and Harry, then he gets up with Liam and disappears into the crowd.

“Sorry about that,” Harry apologizes, finally meeting Louis’ eye for a split second.

“Look Haz, you don’t owe me any kind of explanation. It’s not like we are in a relationship or anything,” Louis says and knows immediately it was the wrong thing to say. Harry looks hurt, his beautiful features falling into a frown. He quickly recovers though, rearranging them into one of fake happiness. Louis kind of hates himself. 

“I know, but he was a dick to you. He isn’t even my ex-boyfriend. We went on like two dates then he said he was too busy with his art and didn’t have time for a boyfriend. I had never really heard from him again, except for the occasional booty call he would try. I would never answer though, because I’m not like that,” Harry explains, not meeting Louis’ eye again.

“It’s okay. I think he may have gotten the hint. If not, and he texts you, I can take care of it for you if you would like. I have a few choice words for him if the occasion ever calls for it,” Louis offers with a smile, trying to get Harry out of his melancholy mood.

“I may take you up on that,” Harry laughs, finally meeting his eyes.

The air between them is still tense, and Louis feels guilty for his other comment. Like he broke something fragile between them, he just doesn’t know how to fix it. He meant what he said. They aren’t in a relationship. He chose to use that word because they have been on dates, but he isn’t Harry’s boyfriend. That would mean dating a man and admitting to something that he isn’t sure he can say out loud. People would look at him differently. His family would look at him differently. He doesn’t know if he could handle that.

“Are we okay?” Louis finally asks because the question is eating him up inside, the silence between them almost unbearable. He needs to start distancing himself from Harry. He knows that. Something in Harry’s demeanor shifts. He relaxes his posture a bit and gives Louis a winning smile, dimples popping and eyes shiny.

“Yeah, we’re great,” he replies, then kisses Louis’ lips, keeping it sweet and innocent. His lips are soft against Louis’, and Louis finds that he almost prefers this type of kiss over the desire fueled ones that seem to happen during sex.

Niall and Liam soon return with milkshakes and they all talk amongst themselves, taking a break from walking to plan the rest of the afternoon. They decide to go on the water rides next, giving their clothes ample time to dry. Louis doesn’t think the water rides look all that bad, and is somewhat excited. When he admits this fact to Harry, he beams with happiness, as if he was worried that Louis wasn’t having a good time. Louis is surprised to admit that he is actually having a great time. 

 

__________

 

After lunch, they go on some of the water rides, getting soaked, but letting the sun and the roller-coasters dry their hair and clothes. They spend the rest of the afternoon riding rides and having a great time. He and Louis buy some cotton candy, sharing sticky kisses and licking each other’s fingers, making Niall and Liam give them shit for their ridiculous cuteness. They continue to ride roller-coasters, Louis even getting on some bigger ones, but still refusing to ride ones that are inverted. Liam and Niall will ride those, while he and Louis will find something a little less thrilling.

While Harry misses getting on the bigger rides, he still prefers spending his time with Louis, and doing whatever Louis wants to do. Now that he has gotten over his initial unease, he is like a little kid, constantly pulling Harry’s hand towards something new and exciting. He forgets sometimes that Louis has never been to an amusement park, and it is enjoyable seeing it through his eyes. His blue eyes are sparkling and are continuously crinkling with a smile. Harry wants to spend forever making Louis smile like this.

At first, Harry was a bit upset about Louis’ comment at lunch, but ultimately decides not to dwell on it. He knows Louis will take time to come around to their relationship, it is what they have, after all. He can feel Louis already trying to distance himself, but Harry isn’t going to let that happen. He refuses to give up Louis without a fight. He knows that if Louis could just get past his own mental block, they could be happy, extremely happy.

“The sun is setting. We should ride the Ferris Wheel,” Harry observes, pointing towards the very large wheel in middle of the park. He glances at Louis who looks skeptical as he watches the swaying cabins make their way around the circle.

“Yeah. I’m up for it,” Niall says.

“You’re up for anything,” Louis shoots back with a small smile playing on his lips. His freckles look so cute in the light of the setting sun.

“Come on, Lou,” Liam begs, not for the first time that day.

“I don’t know. It doesn’t look safe,” Louis remarks doubtfully, still staring at the ride.

“I’ll make it worth your while,” Harry whispers seductively into Louis’ ear so the others won’t hear. He smirks when Louis’ eyebrows shoot into his hairline, mouth forming a small ‘o’.

Louis clears his throat, looks toward the ride again and seems to come to a decision. He grabs Harry’s hand and marches them in the direction of the line. Harry chuckles and follows, seeing Liam shoot Niall a confused look out of the corner of his eye. The ride isn’t a traditional Ferris Wheel that could be found in smaller carnivals. Instead of the usual benches, it has brightly colored caged in cabins, which feels much more secure. It is lit up with bright neon tube lights in rainbow colors, flashing on and off to the beat of the music that is playing through the ride’s sound system.

Harry manages to secure a cabin just for him and Louis by paying the guy running the ride off. The guy just nods and winks, loading he and Louis into the cabin and locking the gate, then moving it to the next person. The cabin is spacious and perfect for what Harry plans.

“Why isn’t there anyone else in here with us?” Louis asks, but Harry can tell Louis knows the answer to his question.

“‘Cause I’ve got plans for you,” Harry answers using his best provocative voice, his cock already hardening in his shorts.

“Do ya now?” Louis asks, looking around. They are almost to the top, and Louis looks slightly panicked by the height. Harry needs to distract him, so he gets down on his knees in the cabin, and kisses Louis tenderly. The view is spectacular, but Harry thinks his view is better. Louis looks striking in the fading light, orange hues lighting up his tan skin as the last rays of the sun shine through the cabin. He is simply heart-stopping, and Harry decides at that moment he will do everything in his power to keep Louis Tomlinson.  

He cups Louis’ face with the kiss, licking the seam of Louis’ mouth to gain entrance. Once their tongues touch, Harry feels electricity shoot up his spine. He will never tire of kissing Louis. The kiss turns dirty as Harry trails one hand down Louis’ front to the button of his pants, popping it easily and pulling down the zipper. Louis gasps into Harry’s mouth when he reaches into Louis’ underwear and grips his hard erection.

He stares into Louis’ eyes for a moment, trying to convey his emotions with just a look, then dives down, spreading Louis’ knees to make room. Without much other warning, he swallows Louis’ cock whole, not even licking at the tip first, like he normally would. The sound that escapes Louis goes straight to his own cock, which is now painfully hard in his pants. Harry loves Louis’ sounds. He wants to make him fall apart then pick the pieces up and squeeze him back together, but he won’t have time to do that today, so he concentrates on flattening his tongue and relaxing his throat.

He takes Louis’ hands and places them in his hair, then puts his own hands behind his back. He looks at Louis and meets his eyes in hopes that Louis knows what he wants. Louis’ dilated eyes widen for a second before he roughly fists Harry’s hair and begins fucking up into his mouth. Harry moans around Louis’ cock because the pain from Louis’ small hands feels so good. 

Harry widens his mouth, and suppresses his gag reflex, letting the tip of Louis’ cock slide down the back of his throat at almost every thrust. His eyes begin to water, but he will not stop Louis, too turned on to care about the mess he is making. He likes it when Louis uses him to get his release. Maybe Harry has a bit of a kink, but he isn’t focused on that right now. He concentrates on the heaviness of the cock in his mouth, how perfect it feels on his tongue.  It doesn’t take long for Louis’ breathing to become shallow and irregular, his cock twitching in Harry’s mouth. Louis is surprisingly quiet this time, which Harry doesn’t mind. He seems to just be chasing his release, as desperate to get off as Harry, moaning and cursing under his breath, his high raspy voice doing things to Harry’s hard-on. 

“Fuck, baby, your mouth feels so good. I’m gonna come,” Louis moans, thrusting faster, the pet name going straight to Harry’s cock, almost pushing him over the edge. He can’t come though, not in his pants. That would be very uncomfortable for the rest of their time here and the trip home. A few more thrusts and Louis lets out a strangled cry, his salty come hitting the back of Harry’s throat. Harry swallows every drop he is given, and sucks a little more to make sure Louis is finished.

Before he even realizes what’s happening, Louis pushes Harry into the bench across from them and then gets down on his own knees, looking disheveled and entirely too fucked out. He looks gorgeous. “Wh-what are you doing?” Harry gets out as Louis begins unbuttoning his pants.

“Gonna suck your dick,” Louis says with a smirk, causing Harry to gulp when Louis’ small hand grips his hard cock. Harry is already so close, he has to stop himself from coming right then and there, wanting to feel Louis’ hot mouth again. Louis looks eager to do this, and Harry is too far gone to stop him.

“O-okay,” Harry stammers as Louis kneels before him and sucks on the head of his cock, probably tasting precome, before he pauses to look up at Harry, meeting his eyes. Harry whimpers at the loss, unsure of why Louis stopped what he was doing. He wants to grab him and push him back down. 

“You have to be quick though, they are starting to let people off the ride. Think you can come in three minutes or less?” Louis asks, not waiting for an answer as he wraps his lips around the head of Harry’s cock. Harry just nods dumbly, even though Louis can’t see him, the feeling of Louis’ warm wet mouth almost too much. Louis then begins bobbing his head up and down, stroking the rest of his length with a small hand, just as Harry taught him. Harry tries not to squirm too much or thrust up, not wanting to cause Louis to throw up from his gag reflex. In an embarrassingly short amount of time, he already feels the pull of his orgasm deep in his stomach. Louis did give them a time frame. 

“Lou, I’m about to come,” Harry warns, pulling Louis off with a wet pop.

“Come in my mouth,” Louis commands, and Harry is very confused and a bit stunned. Did he really just ask him to do that? He never thought in a million years that Louis would actually ask him to come in his mouth. Would he swallow? Would he gag on the taste? Has he already tasted his own come? That thought makes Harry’s cock twitch, because the image of Louis tasting his own come is too much yet not enough. 

“W-what? I can’t.”

“Yes, you can, and you will. Where else are you gonna come? We don’t have tissues or anything. I want you to come in my mouth, baby,” Louis begs, giving Harry a pleading look then goes back down on Harry, sucking his cock with a new vigor. Harry can’t argue with that reasoning or the look Louis gave him, so he bites his wrist to keep from screaming as his hot come shoots down Louis’ throat, not being able to take his eyes off of Louis with his cock in his mouth, spit shiny on his shaft. Louis swallows, not even grimacing at the taste, then pulls up.  

“You were right, this is fun,” Louis smirks, sitting on the bench next to Harry as they both button and zip their shorts. Harry is still in a state of shock. He can’t believe Louis just let him come in his mouth then swallowed every drop.

Harry looks around finally, to take in their surroundings. They are stopped at the very top of the wheel, with a beautiful view of the park lit up below them. The sun has set, dusk now enveloping the park, making all the lights seem brighter somehow. Louis sighs contently beside him, also looking at the view. He puts one arm around Harry’s shoulder, and pulls him in for a kiss. Harry goes easily because he knows deep down he will go wherever Louis leads. They kiss each other languidly, tasting themselves on the other’s tongue as the ride slowly makes its way to the bottom, finally stopping to let them out of the cabin. Niall and Liam take one look at them when they step out and roll their eyes, then start laughing hysterically.

“What?” Harry asks, arm around Louis’ shoulder, Louis’ own arm wrapped tightly around his waist.

“Nothing,” Liam replies.

“You two look so fucked out,” Niall says at the same time, causing him and Liam to burst out into another fit of giggles. Harry and Louis share a look then smile fondly at their friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and Comments are always welcome!  
> Follow me on my social media for updates or just to chat xx  
> Twitter: @Wicked_Archer  
> Tumblr: wicked-archer


	10. 1950

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry takes Louis home, but Jay invites an unexpected guest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you Chloe and Mari for always being there for me! 
> 
> There is also a [Spotify Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/mmbrabd/playlist/3K8GDQgXDwKVDLVF6h3H1T?si=sgO-djloQzmO81_jPnYdYQ%20rel=) that will be updated weekly with the songs represented as chapter titles as well as any other songs that are featured in each chapter.

_ So tell me why my gods look like you  
_ _ Tell me why it’s wrong  
_ _ So I’ll wait for you, I’ll pray  
_ __ I will keep on waiting for your love- King Princess

 

Louis is nervous as fuck. He knows he is fidgeting in the passenger seat of Harry’s jeep. He keeps running his sweaty hands down his thighs to dry them. Every time he anxiously starts to pick at his cuticles, Harry stills his hand with his own larger one, and smiles at him, but doesn’t say much, like he is waiting for Louis to open up about it. They haven’t even made it out of town yet, and Louis already feels like he is going to vomit up the Starbucks they bought when they first started their long journey to Louis’ house.

Louis and Harry both packed enough clothes last night to last them through the weekend. Harry picked Louis up at his place early in the morning, knowing they have a long day ahead of them. They had decided that Harry would drive the first leg of the journey, then Louis would take over since he knows the way to his own childhood home. Louis is excited to see his family, but he’s also so fucking nervous he could scream. Maybe he should invest in one of those fidget cube things, that way he won’t drive Harry up the wall of the vehicle. Louis has never done well with being trapped in cramped spaces, sometimes feeling like he can’t breathe, too constricted by the area.

Louis is nervous for two reasons. The first, Harry is going to see his childhood home in a matter of hours. Harry is going to meet the chaos of his family. Harry is going to experience the tight spaces of the home, and its messiness. Harry is going to hate him because of it, probably. The second, Louis is going to ask Harry a question he never thought he would ask him. He thinks he may be more nervous about the question than Harry actually going to his home. He has had a week or two to accept that he and Harry are making this trip. This question, however, was only decided upon a few days ago. Louis should have asked then, but he was too nervous. He has to ask now though, before it is too late. They are on a timeframe, after all.

“Lou, do you wanna tell me why you’re looking slightly green?” Harry glances over at him, brows creased with worry. The question sufficiently snaps Louis out of his own disordered thoughts. He looks at the boy beside him, and tries to smile to reassure him. He knows it probably comes out more like a grimace.

Louis takes a deep breath and nods, although Harry looks back towards the road, so he doesn’t see him. “Willyougoonadatewithme?” Louis asks quickly, the whole sentence coming out all in one breath.

“What?” Harry asks, thoroughly confused, not being able to keep up with Louis’ faster-than-the-speed-of-fucking-light speech pattern.

Louis clears his throat, trying desperately to control his breathing. He deliberately slows down his words this time and repeats, “Will you go on a date with me?”

Harry’s answering smile lights up the whole car. His dimples are popping and green eyes are shining in the sunlight filtering through the windshield. “Yes. I would love to, Lou,” Harry answers easily, and suddenly, Louis isn’t sure why he was so worried. He knew Harry would say yes, however he promised himself that he would start distancing himself. The summer is drawing to a close, the fall semester right around the corner, but he can’t seem to stop himself from getting closer to Harry. They just… fit.

“How does August 10 th sound?” Louis asks, grinning. He holds his breath, and waits for Harry to figure it out. He actually sees the moment Harry realizes that the date Louis suggested is the day of the Arctic Rainbow concert he has been wanting to go to. He has been hinting at it for weeks, and Louis couldn’t stop himself from purchasing two tickets with some money he managed to save up from his extra shifts at Starbucks. He has been wanting to ask for a few days now, ever since they returned from the Amusement Park, but he just never found the courage. He has never asked a guy out on a date before. This is new territory for him. Everything is new territory when it comes to Harry.

“Lou, are you serious? You’re not just messing with me, are you?” Harry practically squeals, another huge smile lighting up his entire face. Louis felt a pang deep down in his chest that he didn’t recognize, but he knows it is because of Harry’s happiness.

“Would I do that?” Louis asks in mock offence, placing one hand over his heart like he is heartbroken at the comment.

“Yes. Yes, you would,” Harry deadpans rolling his eyes, a small smile playing on his full lips.

“Well you see, I have these tickets to the Arctic Rainbow concert, and I need someone to go with me,” Louis continues as casually as he can, watching Harry’s reaction to his words, grinning almost as much as the curly haired boy beside him. His brows draw in confusion when Harry quickly pulls over on the side of the curb, unfastening his seatbelt and literally running to the passenger side door. Louis is shocked when Harry yanks the door open violently, long arms enveloping him in a bone crushing hug as he begins kissing over his face saying words like ‘yes’ and ‘thank you’ over and over again. Louis starts giggling after a few minutes, but Harry doesn’t stop peppering him with kisses, anywhere he can reach.

“So I take that as a yes,” Louis chuckles when Harry finally stops kissing him.

“Of course it is!” Harry exclaims, jumping up and down, clapping his hands excitedly. Louis chuckles again, knowing he has a ridiculously fond expression on his face, but he can’t be bothered to give a fuck.

“I’m glad you’re excited,” Louis tells him, and he means it. He is very glad Harry is excited. It’s not his typical style of music, but, then again, Harry isn’t his typical type of date, therefore it doesn’t really matter. He is more than happy to stand through it if it means he gets to witness Harry smile like this the entire time.

“Are you sure though? I know it isn’t your type of music,” Harry says, excitement level coming down, a distraught expression taking over his features. Louis can’t have that, so he quickly unbuckles his own seatbelt and drops out of the car, looking up into Harry’s eyes.

“Yes. Of course I’m sure. I know you really want to go, and you don’t have anyone to go with. I’m always up for a concert,” Louis says, trying to go for nonchalant but missing the mark. Harry smirks knowingly at him.

“Okay. Thank you, Louis. Really, thank you. This means so much to me, you have no idea,” Harry beams again, and Louis can’t help but return it.

_ Anything for you.  _ Louis thinks, but will not say. Instead, he kisses Harry gently as Harry wraps his long arms around him, pulling him into another tight hug. He smashes his face into Louis’ neck, and Louis can hear him inhaling his scent. It tickles his skin, but he doesn’t pull away, doing the same to Harry. Louis doesn’t want to let go, but eventually does, keeping his hands on Harry’s shoulder, absentmindedly playing with the loose curls there. “I guess we should get back in the car and actually start moving. My mom is expecting us in time for lunch.”

“Oh yeah. We should definitely do that,” Harry says,  laughing. He pecks Louis’ lips one last time before he runs around to the driver’s side of the car and slips in, shutting the door behind him. Louis does the same, and feels slightly better as they start to leave town, heading towards home.  

 

__________

Even though Louis asked him out on a date just a few hours ago, Harry could sense the other man trying to pull away over the past few days. It is just little things like not texting him as often or not spending the night after hanging out. Louis has never stayed over at his place, always making an excuse for having to go home. He’s just seemed so distant lately. The summer itself is like sand slipping through his fingers; the harder he tries to hold on, the faster it falls. He feels likes their relationship has an expiration date, and it has been eating at him for days now. He refuses to let go so easily, though. He feels a bit better since Louis asked him on date, but he can’t stop the gnawing sensation in his stomach every time he thinks about the semester starting. They don’t talk about what is going to happen after the summer. Every time Harry tries to bring it up, Louis changes the subject.

“My mom called me yesterday,” Harry says, watching Louis expertly maneuver the vehicle on the roads of his hometown. Louis looks sexy while he is driving, his tattoos on display as one hand is relaxed on the wheel, the other laying on the console in the middle of the car, sunglasses perched on his nose.

“Yeah?”

“Um... yeah. She talked to my dad about my major change,” Harry starts.

“And?” Louis asks impatiently, waving one delicate finger, making a circle in the air. It’s Louis’ way of saying:  _ Hurry the fuck up, Harold. You are talking far to slow, and you need to spit it the fuck out. _ Harry chuckles because he can almost hear Louis saying those words in his head, seeing his eyes roll and all.

“My dad said no.”

“Oh, Haz. I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you tell me?” Louis apologizes, grabbing Harry’s hand and squeezing. It is nice having Louis’ support.

“It’s okay. You were busy last night I guess.” Louis looks troubled by the comment, but Harry knows Louis had made up some excuse not to hang out last night. Harry continues with his story. “He apparently got kind of angry at Mom for going along with the idea, which made Mom even angrier because he was being an ass. She hung up on him after he said that no son of his was going to be a pansy ass English major, even though I have no idea what English has to do with being a pansy,” Harry rambles, trying to keep the hurt from the comment out of his tone. He probably doesn’t succeed given the look Louis shoots him.

“So what happened?” Louis asks, biting his lip and squeezing Harry’s hand again.

“Well, Mom and Robin sat down and had a long discussion. They ultimately decided that my happiness is the most important thing in this, and Robin agreed to pay for my education only if I promised to do a few internships during my undergrad to ensure a secure job within the field, so I would be covered if I choose not to pursue law school,” Harry recites, memorizing every word of their discussion.

“That’s good, right? That means you can change your major?” Louis inquires carefully.

“Yes! It’s great! I can change my major,” Harry exclaims,  a smile splitting his face. “On Monday, I am going to call my department and have the official paperwork done.”

“That’s awesome, Haz. I am so happy for you,” Louis smiles, kissing Harry’s knuckles.

“Umm…” Harry starts nervously, “Could you do me a favor?”

“Anything,” Louis answers, and for a second, Harry lets himself believe that Louis means it.

“Could you help me change my schedule? I don’t really know how to do all of that. My mom or my sister always registered for courses for me,” Harry blushes, looking down at his feet. He hates admitting to Louis that he isn’t really familiar with the school system since Louis basically had to figure everything out for himself.

“Of course,” Louis says, smiling and glancing at Harry.

“Thank you.” Harry lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. He looks around, suddenly realizing that they are no longer moving. They are pulled in front of a medium sized two storey white home. The siding on the house is dirty and stained. There are children’s bicycles and toys littering the small yard, the grass slightly overgrown. Harry can see flower beds lining the sides of the house, full of unkempt flowers and some weeds. He loves it already.

“Well this it is,” Louis says, killing the engine and looking at the house forlornly.

“It looks nice,” Harry tries reassuring him. He realizes too late it may have come out condescending.

“It looks like a dump,” Louis replies, resting his head on the steering wheel, not meeting Harry’s eyes.

“It does not, Lou,” Harry defends, using one long finger to grip Louis’ chin, pulling it up so he can see his eyes. “It looks homey.”

“Probably not nearly as nice as yours.”

“Mine may be nice, but I can assure you, it doesn’t really look like people live there,” Harry says honestly. Sure, his mom has pictures of him and his sister on the wall, but overall, a stranger wouldn’t be able to say if someone lived there from the outside. Even on the inside, it seems big and cold.

“Come on, may as well get this over with,” Louis sighs, reaching for the door handle. Harry stops him, instead grabbing his chin and pulling until their lips meet in a gentle kiss. “What was that for?”

“Because I like kissing your lips, and I know I won’t get much of a chance this weekend. I may actually go through withdrawal.” Harry winks then opens his own door, stepping out onto the curb, hearing Louis’ tinkle of laughter as he shuts the door. He goes around the back to grab both of their duffle bags as Louis literally hops out of the driver’s side. He would kill Harry if he knew that he thinks it is cute since Louis is so short. He suppresses a smile as he and Louis slowly make their way to the front door.

Louis takes a deep breath then opens the door, breaking the sound barrier. The first thing Harry hears is chaos, complete and utter chaos. Before he even sees inside, he hears people talking over one another, babies babbling, babies crying, girls screeching, and laughter, lots and lots of laughter. He takes his own deep breath because he is getting ready to meet Louis’ parents. He knows, logically, that Louis is not his boyfriend, but it feels a lot like meeting his boyfriend’s parents for the first time. He wants to make a good first impression. He is normally able to charm people without even trying, however, he doesn’t want to charm them. He wants them to genuinely like him, in case he is able to get Louis to continue their relationship past the summer as actual boyfriends.

“Brace yourself,” Louis mutters out of the corner of his mouth as they both step over the threshold into the living room. The noises just get louder, and the room is also utter chaos. Toys for all ages are piled everywhere and splayed all over the floor. The modest sized flat screen TV is playing some cartoon that Harry doesn’t recognize. There are photos and artwork all over the wall, creating a warm feeling throughout. It definitely feels like people live here, a stark contrast to Harry’s own home.

“Louis!” Harry hears a girl shriek; he just resists covering his own ears at the high pitched sound. He hears footsteps then two little blurs come crashing into Louis. Louis has barely enough time to bend down and catch them, a smile lighting up his face at having his sisters in his arms.

“Lou, you’re here!” Harry hears another girl exclaim, coming through a door that Harry can only assume is the kitchen.

“No. I am actually an imposter that Harry kidnapped, so he would be able to find his way in to your home and kill you all,” Louis says sarcastically, standing up. His twin sisters hide behind his body when they notice Harry standing beside him.

The girl comes to a stop and rolls her eyes, then gives Louis a hug. “Don’t be a twat,” she says, and Harry already likes her.

“Daisy. Phoebe,” Louis starts, bending down to get on eye level with the girls, both looking anywhere but at Harry. “This is my friend Harry,” he introduces.

Harry bends down as well, knowing he is quite tall with a lot of tattoos, so he can be somewhat frightening to young children. He smiles at them, trying to convey that he won’t hurt them. He holds out his hand to the little girls. “It’s very nice to meet you. Your big brother has told me tons about you.”

“Really?” The one in blue asks, finally looking at Harry. Her expression is skeptical, and she looks so much like Louis in that moment, Harry almost bursts out laughing.

“Really,” Louis confirms.

“I’m Phoebe,” the same one says, shaking Harry’s hand. Harry can tell she is definitely more outgoing than her twin sister, who is currently still looking down at the floor. “This is my sister Daisy. She’s shy.”

Harry laughs at her honesty. “Well it is very nice to meet you both,” Harry repeats, following Louis’ lead and standing up, his knees popping in protest from being in a cramped car all day. He suddenly realizes that there are a lot more people in the room, all eyes fixed on him.

“Alright, Haz, listen up. I am only going to do this once,” Louis says, then starts gesturing to one of the girls. “That’s Lottie, Fizzy, Dan, Doris, Mom, Ernest , and you have already met Phoebs and Daisy,” Louis announces, placing his hands on Daisy’s shoulders after he has finished pointing out each family member.

“Hi.” Harry waves awkwardly, not really knowing what to do. Harry’s head is spinning from trying to remember everyone’s names and faces. Sure, he has heard Louis talk about his family, but they all looked a lot alike. He knows he will never be able to tell the twins apart. Thankfully, Lottie and Fizzy look completely different, thanks to Lottie’s dyed blond hair. 

“Everyone, this is my… umm… friend Harry,” he introduces.

“It’s so nice to meet you Harry, we have heard so much about you.” Louis’ mom is the first to break the awkward silence, coming over and pulling Harry into a one armed hug, the other arm holding Ernest . Once she pulls back, she smiles, and fuck does Louis look so much like her. He has the same color hair and eyes as his mother. She is quite beautiful, but then again, Harry also thinks her son his beautiful. She seems so warm and caring. Harry instantly likes her.

“It’s nice to meet you, too, Mrs. Deakin. Thank you for having me in your lovely home,” Harry says politely, because if nothing else, he knows how to have manners.

He sees Louis roll his eyes at him as his mom says, “None of that. Call me Jay. You guys can take your bags up to Louis’ room. Lunch is almost ready.”

“Alright break it up, nothing to see here,” Louis demands as they try to make their way through the small crowd gathered around them. Harry laughs at Louis’ antics, finally make their way to the narrow staircase leading up to the second floor. At the top of the staircase, they are met with a long hallway with two doors on the right and two doors on the left. On the first door to the right, there is a decorated sign that says “Phoebe and Daisy.” Harry smiles at it because the twins obviously made it themselves. The door beside it just has an F and an L on it, suggesting that it belongs to Lottie and Fizzy. The first door on the left says “Tommo’s room. Keep the fuck out,’ in large block letters. Of course, Louis would have something like that on his door.

“That’s the bathroom,” Louis points to the door beside his room, then twists the knob, wiggling it a bit.

“Where is your mom and Dan’s room?” Harry asks curiously, walking into the room, stopping to take in his surroundings. The room is smaller than Louis’ room in his apartment, and so crammed full of stuff, it’s overwhelming. Harry’s eyes don’t know where to go first. There is a full size bed with a blue comforter in the middle of the room. The walls are also painted blue, of course. There is a small desk in the corner of the room stacked with old comic books. Above the desk is a bookshelf attached to the wall, but instead of books, it is full of trophies. Harry wants to inspect them, but refrains, instead taking in the walls littered with band posters.

“It’s downstairs. Right now, the twins sleep in their room, but Mom will probably have to clean my room out soon and give it to them,” Louis says with a shrug, dropping his bag near the desk then jumping on his bed, not even bothering to take off his shoes. With horror, Harry realizes he is still wearing his shoes. He quickly toes them off and drops his own bag next to Louis’

“Makes sense. What is she going to do with all of this stuff?” Harry asks, climbing on the bed beside Louis, resting his hand on his chest, staring up at the ceiling, mirroring Louis’ own pose.

“Don’t know. Probably burn some of it. Most of it’s junk anyways. She will probably insist on keeping the trophies though,” Louis says, and Harry can  _ hear  _ him rolling his eyes.

“It’s not junk. It was obviously important to you,” Harry says, looking over at Louis. Before Louis can answer, the older set of twins burst through his door, not even knocking, then launch themselves on top of both Harry and Louis. Harry lets out a groan in surprise, one of the twin’s left knee missing his balls by mere centimeters.

“Silly Louis. Silly Harry. You guys shouldn’t be sleeping, it’s the middle of the day,” the twin on top of Louis exclaims. Harry thinks it’s Daisy judging by her clothing.

“Yeah. Silly us,” Louis replies, tickling the little girl, her high pitched shrieks probably able to be heard from space. Harry laughs at the scene as Phoebe crawls on top of him to help her sister, barely missing his balls for the second time in less than two minutes. He will be lucky to leave with them still intact at this rate.

“You learn to wear a cup or be quick,” Louis whispers, starting to tickle the other twin too, both letting out squeals of joy.

“Sorry guys, I tried to stop them,” they hear Fizzy say from the doorway, causing both men to look up.

“No worries,” Harry says, smiling at her. She smiles back then quickly looks down at her feet. God, Harry hopes none of Louis’ sisters develop a crush on him. That would just be awkward.

“Mom wanted me to tell you that lunch is ready. She just made sandwiches since we are all kind of doing our own thing until dinner,” she says, gesturing downstairs.

“Thanks Fiz,” Louis acknowledges, sitting up quickly to throw the two giggling girls off of him. Harry follows suit. He hasn’t been around a ton of children, so he isn’t exactly sure how to interact with them. He feels like he will be getting a crash course this weekend though, and he can’t wait.

“Where are Mom and Dan?” Louis asks as Harry follows him out of the stairway. Harry looks around the living room, seeing no sign of adorable babies or little girls. It is much more quiet than it was 15 minutes ago, which is odd. The silence almost feels deafening after the chaos. He and Louis stayed in his room for just a few minutes after his sister left, talking about the weekend, but they weren’t up there that long. Harry managed to sneak a few kisses, triple checking that no one was looking before doing so. He thinks that secretly Louis kind of enjoys them sneaking around.  

“They took both sets of twins to the park. They promised they would take them and Mom wanted to try to wear them out before the Barbeque tonight,” Lottie supplies, barely glancing up from her phone. Louis rolls his eyes at his sister.

“You do realize Mom invited the whole family, right?” Fizzy asks from the kitchen, taking a bite of her sandwich. 

“What?” Louis questions, blue eyes wide in panic. Harry would have laughed if he didn’t think Louis would murder him in his sleep for it. 

“Yeah. Mom said that you never come home and all of the family always ask about you, so she invited everyone,” Lottie finally looks up from her phone.

“And by everyone, you mean…?” Louis’ question trails off.

“Well, all of us, Grams, Aunt Liz and Uncle Tom, Aunt Helen and Uncle Rick, then of course their kids,” Lottie says, counting off their names with manicured fingers. Harry feels like he is watching a tennis match, his gaze constantly switching between Louis’ two sisters as they play off each other to continue the conversation.

“Fuck,” Louis sighs dramatically, and Harry lets out a chuckle he has been holding in. When Louis glares, Harry straightens his features, barely concealing a fond smile. Lottie and Fizzy are looking at him curiously.

“Seriously, Lou, don’t be such a fucking drama queen. What do you expect when you come home like once a year?” Lottie replies, rolling her eyes. Her expression is so much like Louis, it shocks him.

“Hey, watch your mouth Charlotte Tomlinson!” Louis exclaims in mock indignation.

“Oh please, you’ve been cussing since you were thirteen. I learned everything from you, Bub,” Lottie says, smiling sweetly at Louis.

“I know. I’m proud,” Louis replies, grabbing her and rubbing her head, messing up her hair. She screams and pushes her brother off, punching him in the bicep for good measure. Harry and Fizzy both laugh at the pair. Harry has a feeling that this happens often between the two. It is interesting seeing the different ways Louis interacts with each sibling. Harry loves it so much already.

__________

__  
  


He and Harry spend the rest of the afternoon watching movies with Lottie and Fizzy. Fizzy keeps looking at Harry curiously, like she is trying to figure him out, and it makes Louis uneasy. Fizzy has always been the most observant one of the family, preferring to read or watch instead of participating. She is also smart. She has never fucked around in school, like both Louis and now Lottie. She was the quiet one until Daisy came along. Fizzy may still be less outgoing than Daisy though. Louis is afraid that his secret is written all over his face, but he tamps down the thought because it is just crazy and continues to enjoy the time with his two older siblings. He missed them so much, it hurt.

Harry also seems to be having a good time, chatting easily to both of his siblings. Harry and Fizzy had discussed books-  _ yuck _ \- and their favorite authors, then Harry and Lottie had discussed fashion and the newest trends of the season. Louis had no idea that Harry has an interest in fashion, however, he got the feeling that Harry was the type of person who could talk about anything. He is charming the pants off his entire family already, and he hasn’t even been there a whole four hours. Louis likes the way he looks in his living room, surrounded by other people he loves, almost as if he should have always been there.

The quiet afternoon is broken when the older set of twins run through the front door, throwing off their shoes, jumping on both boys who are sat on the couch next to Lottie. Louis laughs and readjusts Daisy, while Harry does the same to Phoebe. If Harry minds the fact that his sister seems to have taken a liking to him, he isn’t showing it. He just smiles and listens intently as Phoebe and Daisy both chatter on about what they did at the park, finishing each other’s sentences in the creepy way twins do.

“Lou, wanna help me with the meal prep? The family is going to start showing up in about an hour, and I’d like to get started,” Jay says from behind them. Louis looks up at her from his spot on the couch; she is smiling fondly at Harry who is still listening to the twins. Louis can’t help but mirror her expression because it is just entirely too cute. Phoebe has her hands in his hair, playing with it as she spoke. Daisy has begun tracing the tattoos on his arm, speaking in tandem with her sister. They had both somehow made their way onto Harry’s lap, each sitting on a knee.

“‘Course Mom. Will you be alright?” Louis asks, looking at Harry, trying to tell him with his eyes that it was okay to shove his sisters off his lap. Harry just smiles and nods, going back to listening to Phoebe and Daisy, who hadn’t stopped talking even though Louis interrupted them. He hauls himself up from the couch, grazing Harry’s bicep with his hand as he does so. He catches Harry’s eye and smiles one more time as he follows his mom into the kitchen.

“Lottie, you come help me, too. Fizzy, help Dan put the babies down for a nap,” Jay directs, not even bothering to look back. Both girls do as they are told without even batting an eye. Louis always admired the way his mother took control of any situation.

After they all had washed their hands in the sink, they start the process of preparing for the barbeque. Louis is asked to cut vegetables, since that is really all he was good for, and his mom knows that. Lottie and Jay asks him questions about the upcoming semester, his classes, his summer, and Liam. Thankfully they stay away from the topic of his love life, although Louis would have avoided answering those as diligently as people in medieval times avoided being infected with the black plague.

“Can I help?” comes Harry’s slow deep voice from somewhere behind them.

“No! You’re the guest!” Jay exclaims, looking up from the potato salad she is making.

“Mrs… I mean Jay, I would love to help out,” Harry replies earnestly.

“He likes to cook,” Louis supplies, shooting Harry a small smile.

“Okay. If you insist. You can help Louis with vegetables. He is taking forever,” Jay teases, glancing over at Louis.

“Hey! I just want them to be perfect for the family, so sue me,” Louis replies in mock offence. Lottie snorts at the statement. Louis watches Harry wash his hands, soaping up all the way to the elbow. There is something mesmerizing about Harry’s big hands, the cross tattoo on the skin between his thumb and pointer finger, the length of his fingers, the way they move methodically, much like his voice. He then dries his hands and comes to stand beside Louis, his warmth seeping into Louis’ side, his smell invading his senses. He hands Harry a knife and watches as Harry quickly and expertly starts to chop a bell pepper. Louis knew that Harry liked to cook, but he has never seen him in action. The act is just as enthralling as Harry washing his hands or doing anything really. It is kind of turning him on.

“Like what you see?” Harry whispers right into Louis’ ear, breaking him from his thoughts. Louis swallows, but is saved from answering by his mother.

“So, Harry, Louis has actually told us a lot about you, for once. He is normally a private person, preferring to keep his personal life from his dear old mom. He said that you are switching your major to English, are you excited for the upcoming semester?” Jay asks, glancing over at Harry.

“Yes, I am very excited to start taking classes that actually interest me, however, I am a bit sad about the summer ending. It has been a great one, almost life changing,” Harry replies, looking at Louis in a way that makes Louis’ heart clench in his chest.

Why does Harry have to be so godsdamned honest all the time? Louis also isn’t ready for it to end, but all good things must come to an end. Even if those good things involve Harry. This thought depresses him, so he concentrates on cutting vegetables, trying to ignore Harry’s skin brushing up against his with every swipe of the knife. He listens to his Mom and Lottie drill Harry with question after question about his life, Fizzy eventually joining in, but mostly watching from the small kitchen table. Harry takes their questions in stride, answering them all and asking a few of his own.

“Lottie, when is Luke coming over?” Jay asks, looking at her daughter.

“He should be here in about 10 minutes; I need to go get ready!” Lottie answers, looking at the clock on the stove.

“Who the fuck is Luke?” Louis questions, spitting the name like it is poison. He can feel his protective side rising, already dreading the answer. The entire room goes quiet at Louis’ outburst. Fizzy looks uncomfortable at the table, but Louis doesn’t care. He needs to know.

“Luke is my boyfriend, if you must know,” Lottie responds, widening her stance and placing both hands on her hips, a challenging look on her face.

“You’re too fucking young to have a boyfriend!” Louis yells, dropping his knife and glaring at his younger sister.

“Language,” Jay scolds.

“Louis, I’m 18 for Christ’s sake. You had a girlfriend when you were like 16. Don’t give me that shit!” Lottie defends, pointing at Louis threateningly.

“That’s different!” Louis cries, throwing his hands up in the air exasperatedly, feeling his anger rise. How dare his sister compare herself to him. They were two very different people. It didn’t matter what he did because he didn’t have anyone looking out for him. She has someone looking out for her.

“No, it’s not, Lou,” he hears Harry’s voice from behind him, soothing him despite the fact that he doesn’t want to calm down.

“Stay out of this, Harold,” Louis grits out from between his teeth, not taking his eyes off Lottie.

“She’s 18. I am sure she is old enough to make her own decisions. You have taught her well, I can tell. Trust her judgement, Lou,” Harry reasons, placing two warm hands on his shoulders. Louis deflates because he knows, logically, Harry is right. Lottie is smiling smugly, but Louis ignores it.

“Fine, but if he puts one hand on you that I deem inappropriate, I will cut off his balls and hang them on my bedroom wall,” Louis threatens, stepping out of Harry’s grasp and pointing a finger at his sister.

“Thanks, Lou,” Lottie says, rolling her eyes, then smiling and kissing him on the cheek. As she turns to walk out of the room, she adds, “Thanks Harry. You’re alright.”

Louis turns to see Harry smiling, watching Lottie’s retreating figure as she disappears up the stairs. He can’t be mad at Harry for butting in now, he looks so happy just from making Lottie happy.

“Why don’t you two go and get changed? I can handle this rest of this,” Jay says, breaking Louis from his thoughts.

“But…” Harry starts to protest, looking around the kitchen. Louis can see he is itching to help some more.

“No buts. Go upstairs and get changed. Take a minute to relax before chaos hits,” Jays commands. At Harry’s unsure expression, she points the wooden spoon in her hand at Harry. “Do as I say. I am not afraid to smack you upside the head like I would any of my other children.” This comment prompts Harry to burst out laughing, the same laugh that is usually just reserved for Louis, but Louis finds he doesn’t mind. He supposes if anyone else should hear that laugh, it should be his mom.

“Okay, Jay, but please don’t hesitate to yell if you need us,” Harry says, following Louis out of the room.

“Oh, and Louis, grab the twins from their nap when you come back down. Dan is helping Phoebe and Daisy get ready!” Jay calls to them as they begin walking up the stairs.

“Sure thing, Mom,” Louis yells back, opening the door to his room. Before he even gets the door completely closed, Harry is on him, sealing their lips together in a heated kiss, tongues already intertwined. Louis is surprised for exactly 2.5 seconds before he is returning this kiss, fingers automatically going up into Harry’s hair, gripping his curls. He lets out a quiet moan as Harry pushes him against the wall and begins trailing kisses down his neck, as if he can’t get enough of Louis.

“Not that I’m complaining, but what’s this for?” Louis asks, biting his lip to keep from moaning again when Harry finds a particularly sweet spot and begins sucking.

“It’s sexy watching you interact with your siblings,” Harry pauses his kisses just long enough to get the answer out. His large hands make their way up Louis’ shirt, burning him like a brand.

“Of course you would find that sexy. No marks,” Louis says as his eyes roll back into his head, his cock twitching in his joggers.

“Fine,” Harry pouts, coming back up to his lips and kissing them soundly, reaching one large palm down to grope his hardening dick outside of his joggers. He swallows Louis’ moan with his hot mouth. “Wanna suck you off,” Harry says between kisses, nibbling Louis ear.

“Fuck.” Harry’s words go straight to his dick, his breaths becoming heavy and uneven. Harry starts kissing his neck again, but when someone pounds on Louis’ door, Harry jumps off him like he is made of lava.

“Lou, you better hurry. I think people are starting show,” comes Lottie’s voice from the other side of the door. Thank the gods she didn’t actually come in. Louis is tenting his pants and has spit all over his face and neck. Harry isn’t faring much better. His eyes are blown, barely a hint of green showing around the pupil, his hair is a mess and his lips are kiss bitten red.

“We will be down in a minute!” Louis calls. Lottie huffs then they hear her receding footsteps. They both let out a breath, glancing at each other with a smile. “Later,” Louis promises, cupping Harry’s hard length through his own sweatpants. Harry closes his eyes and hisses out a breath. Louis loves how responsive Harry is to him. He lets him go, and they both begin to change, willing their hard-ons to go away.

__________

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Harry follows Louis down the stairs and into what he can only assume is Jay and Dan’s room. He is starting to get nervous. He had no idea that he would meet Louis’ extended family too, but things seem to be going well so far. Louis leads him to two cribs, jammed tightly into the corner of the room. They both quietly make their way over to the cribs and peer in. Ernest is wide awake and smiling when he sees them, Doris is still snoozing happily. Harry almost coos at the sight, but he manages to refrain. He just loves babies.

“Hey big guy,” Louis greets quietly, reaching down to carefully pick Ernest up, who babbles happily at his big brother. Harry’s heart swells at the sight of Louis holding a baby, his tattoos a stark contrast to Ernest’s smooth skin. Harry allows himself to imagine, just for a second, Louis holding their child in their room in their house. He shakes his head and the thought away with it.

“Can you pick Doris up?” Louis asks, gesturing towards the crib directly in front of Harry.

Harry freezes. “Umm… I’ve never really… umm… held a baby,” Harry stammers out, blushing with the admission. Louis doesn’t seem surprised though, and just smiles at him, eyes soft.

“It’s pretty easy. Just bend down and put your hands under her arms then lift up. Everyone who hasn’t been around them thinks that babies are so fragile, but they aren’t. You’re not gonna break her,” Louis says. Harry slowly and very carefully reaches down into the crib to pick up the sleeping baby. She is so soft, squishy and warm. Harry instantly wants to cuddle her closer. She opens her eyes slowly, and Harry smiles at her, placing her against his chest. She smiles and grabs his hair, pulling hard. Louis laughs and grabs her fingers, prying them out of their death grip on Harry’s curls.

“Sorry ‘bout that,” Louis laughs once he gets her to release her hold, replacing it with one of Harry’s fingers.

“It’s alright. Her brother does it all the time,” Harry winks with a shit eating grin, causing Louis to blush.

“Come on, I’ll teach you how to change a diaper,” Louis says, walking over to the changing table with Harry following close behind him, watching his hips sway enticingly.

“Now, boys are a bit trickier since they can literally shoot their pee at you, so I will change Ernest and you can change Doris.” Louis lays Ernest down on the changing table, and Harry does the same to Doris. Harry watches in fascination as Louis expertly changes his brother, like he has been doing it his whole life. He probably has, Harry thinks, as Louis fastens the diaper around the baby’s waist and reaches for a cute outfit to change him into, throwing the drool stained onesie in the basket. Again, Harry imagines him doing the same for their children, the thought warming his heart.

“Alright, you ready to try?” Louis asks, breaking Harry from his own imagination.

“Yeah,” Harry replies, looking skeptically at the wiggling baby. She is attempting to turn herself over, so Harry grabs her and rights her position. She then whines for a few minutes, grabs her foot and begins sucking on her toe. Harry grimaces, but Louis laughs.

“Okay. Doris can be a bit tricky, too, since she likes to move a lot. She has been like that since she was a newborn,” Louis starts, then begins walking Harry through the process. Doris does wiggle a lot, which prompts Louis to laugh at him when Harry tries to catch her flailing limbs to put the diaper on. Harry finds that he doesn’t mind it all that much, but knows he would probably feel differently if it was a poop filled diaper.

“Is that it?” Harry asks once he finally fastens the sticky straps.

“Yup. It’s that easy. Poopy diapers can be a bit more challenging,” Louis says and laughs when Harry makes a face. “Now pick her out something to wear.” Louis gestures towards the drawers, so Harry opens them up and picks out a charming green dress with blue owls printed all over the material and a matching diaper cover. He manages to wrestle Doris’ little limbs into the outfit, and holds her up looking it over. She looks so fucking adorable his heart could burst.

“Great job, Haz. We will make a father out of you yet,” Louis winks then starts walking out the door. Harry stumbles for a second before he follows along, Louis’ last comment spinning around in his head. With the babies in tow, they step into the kitchen, and there are a lot more people there. He thinks there are more people crammed into the tiny kitchen than Harry has in his entire family on both parents sides. It’s loud and chaotic. He takes a deep breath.

“You ready for this?” Louis asks, blue eyes full of worry.

“Yup,” Harry answers decisively, because he is ready. He puts on his best smile, when an older lady yells Louis’ name causing all eyes in the room to land on them.

“Hey Grams,” Louis greets, hugging the old woman with his free hand.

“So handsome! I hope you didn’t get any more of those filthy tattoos,” she says, pinching Louis’ cheek and looking him over from head-to-toe.

“I did, and there is nothing you can do about it,” Louis rolls his eyes but smiles fondly.

“And who is this handsome young man?” The woman asks, fixing her gaze on Harry, seeming to study him. She looks at his tattoos briefly before her blue eyes, just a hair lighter than Louis’, meet his own. Harry stands up straighter and holds out his hand politely.

“Everyone. This is Harry. He is my friend from school. Please leave him alone,” Louis calls to everyone in the room, prompting them all to laugh even though Harry doesn’t think Louis was joking at all.

“Oh, Louis never brings friends home, except Liam of course. It is very nice to meet you,” The woman says warmly, holding Harry’s outstretched hand in her own. Harry follows Louis as he makes his way around the room, politely greeting everyone with hugs and kisses. Most of them also hug Harry too, which Harry finds odd since his own family doesn’t hug all that much, but he enjoys it. They finally make their way outside where they find Dan on the grill, Jay sitting a ton of food on a table, and even more people. Some of the younger children are playing tag in the yard.

“There you are! Thanks for grabbing the babies, love. Do they need to be changed?” Jay asks, smiling at the pair.

“Nope. Harry and I took care of that. I had to show young Harold here how to properly change a diaper. He has absolutely zero experience. It’s sad really,” Louis says, glancing at Harry and trying not to smile.

“Oh yes, you’re the baby of your family. This must be quite overwhelming for you,” Jay smiles knowingly.

“No, I actually kind of like it,” Harry replies honestly. Sure, it is loud and chaotic, but it also feels friendly and like home. Louis and Harry take the babies over the grass to sit and talk quietly, watching the younger kids play, Fizzy eventually joining them. As they talk, different family members come to take their turn holding the babies, cooing at their adorable little outfits then walking off with them in their arms.

Louis’ expression changes when he glances over toward the house. Harry follows his gaze and instantly sees the reason why. Lottie is making her way towards them, holding the hand of a very tall man. Louis immediately gets to his feet, Harry following him, ready to intervene.

“This is my boyfriend, Luke. Luke, this is my older brother, Louis, and his friend Harry. Of course, you already know Fiz,” Lottie introduces. Louis looks as if he is sizing him up, so Harry places a comforting hand on Louis’ lower back, praying no one can see the small intimate gesture.

“Nice to meet you,” Luke says nervously, holding out a shaking hand to Louis. Louis doesn’t take it. Luke is tall, really tall, probably a few inches taller than Harry even. He has dirty blond curly hair, styled with mousse to make it look slightly wet. He is attractive; Harry can admit that. He knows that Louis is thinking the same thing, which is making him seethe even more. He is wearing a pair of tight, black skinny jeans and an Arctic Rainbow band T-shirt.

Lottie is glaring at Louis while Louis glowers at poor Luke who looks like he wants to run away. Before things can get even more awkward, Harry makes the executive decision to take Luke’s still outstretched hand and shake it. Luke looks relieved at the gesture, posture relaxing just a bit. “Hey man, it’s nice to meet you, and nice shirt. Lou is actually taking me to their concert next month,” Harry says. He realizes his mistake when he feels Louis stiffen beside him.

“Why is Louis taking you to a concert?” Fizzy asks curiously from beside him, looking at them with an intense stare, making Harry feel like he is under a microscope.

“Umm… he just meant that we are going to go to that concert together,” Louis lies, a blush creeping up his cheeks.

“But you don’t even like that type of music. I believe you called it ‘hipster shit that sounds like a wounded cat in heat’ when I began listening to it,” Lottie chimes in. Harry rolls his eyes because those were the exact words Louis used when he first brought up the concert to him last month. They are saved from the incriminating conversation when they hear Jay call for Louis. Louis looks relieved as he taps Harry’s forearm once, signaling him to follow, and makes his way towards the voice. Harry sees Jay talking to a young girl about their age with long dark hair and brown eyes. She is about Louis’ height, and really skinny. Much too skinny for Harry’s tastes, if he were into girls, that is. Her face lights up when she sees Louis, but Louis looks like he may throw up.

“Lou! I ran into Emily at the park and invited her over. I know you two haven’t seen each other in such a long time,” Jay tells them. Louis smiles politely and awkwardly returns the girl’s hug. Harry doesn’t like her, for some reason. 

“Yeah, Em, it’s nice to see you. This is my friend, Harry,” Louis introduces through gritted teeth as Emily’s gaze lands on Harry. She looks between the two with a curious expression, but doesn’t say anything to Harry, for which Harry is grateful.

“This is Louis’ high school sweetheart. They dated for a few years, but then broke up when he left for college,” Jay tells Harry, looking between her son and the girl and  _ oh _ . This was Louis’ ex girlfriend. He probably lost his virginity to her, Harry thinks bitterly. He knows he is glaring at the girl, but he can’t help it. He already hates her. She starts laughing and flirting with Louis, talking about old times and shit. Harry wants to punch her, and he has hardly ever wanted to anyone before, much less girl. She just seems incredibly fake. 

The only thing that stops him from butting into the conversation is the fact that Louis looks just as uncomfortable as he feels. He has a tight smile on his face, and barely suppresses a grimace every time she touches him flirtatiously. Most people probably wouldn’t notice the strange behavior, but Harry isn’t most people. He has spent the last three months studying Louis, attempting to read him. He is startled to realize that maybe he can read Louis better than he had originally thought. 

“Hey, Emily. My sisters are over there. I know you guys always got along really well, why don’t you go over and say hi,” Louis suggests, practically pushing the girl away from them and towards his sisters.

“Oh, okay. I will talk to you later I’m sure,” Emily smiles sweetly then waves, completely ignoring Harry. Harry glares at her back as she walks away, attempting to swish her flat ass at Louis, but Louis isn’t even looking. Once Emily is out of earshot, Louis turns around and glares at his mom.

“What the fuck, Mother? Why would you invite her here?” Louis hisses as soon as Emily is far enough away he won’t be heard.

“Louis, do not talk to me in that tone of voice. I thought you would like to see her. You guys dated for a long time in high school, she was your first love,” Jay answers easily. Louis has never spoken to Harry about being in love, so he just watches the conversation curiously.

“I was 17, Mother, for Christ’s sake, I didn’t even know what love was,” Louis spits out, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“Well you don’t currently have a girlfriend, so I thought maybe you would want to rekindle an old romance,” Jay defends.

Louis shoots Harry an odd look that Harry can’t read, their gazes locking for a long moment before he turns back to his mom. “My love life is none of your concern. We broke up because she is immature and is stuck in the high school mindset. All she cares about is designer clothing and who is fucking who in town. In fact, all she did during our conversation is gossip about people we went to high school with, which I give absolutely zero fucks about.”

Louis’ little speech hits Harry with a wave of relief. Seeing Louis’ disdain for his old girlfriend clearly written all over his beautiful face is like a balm for Harry’s jealousy. He can’t help but stop the smile that blooms over his face as he listens to Jay apologize, then tell her son that he has to be nice.

“Sorry ‘bout that,” Louis apologizes as Jay makes her way into the house, telling everyone in there that the food is almost ready.

“It’s fine.”

“You can admit it. You were jealous.”

“I was not!” Harry defends, feeling his face become warm and not just from the summer sun.

“You were making your frog face,” Louis accuses, pointing at Harry’s face with a smile.

“What?” Harry gasps. “I do not make a frog face.”

“Yes, you do. You do it when you’re jealous, but don’t worry, it’s kinda cute,” Louis says, laughing. Harry can’t be mad at that.

__________

__  
  


Louis is sitting on the grass watching fondly as Harry runs around with the twins and some of the other younger family members trying to catch fireflies and put them in a jar, Harry insisting, of course, that they release them as soon as they can see how many they can catch. Throughout the evening, Harry has made his way to each of Louis’ family members, charming them in a way that only Harry Styles can pull off. Louis has managed to evade Emily all afternoon. He thinks she may have already left, but he doesn't care because he is too preoccupied with watching Harry. His hair is pulled up in a bun, eyes twinkling in the twilight. He is beautiful, and Louis can’t bring himself to look away. 

“You’re in love with him, aren’t you?” Fizzy’s voice breaks into his consciousness, scaring Louis, causing him to jump. His heart rate goes up, but the change has nothing to do with her scaring him and everything to do with the question she asked. Is he that obvious? He doesn’t love a guy though, he just can’t.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he tells Fizzy, not looking at her. .

“Don’t play dumb with me, Lou. I can tell by the way you look at him, and you tease him in a flirty way. You guys constantly find a reason to touch one another. You think none of us notice, and you’re right. I don’t think the others have. He feels the same about you, you know,” Fizzy says softly, watching Harry as he plays with the kids. They have tackled him on the grass and have started tickling him. Louis laughs when Harry starts screaming for mercy.

“You know I don’t care right? None of us do. We love you regardless, and we want you to be happy,” Fizzy continues, laying her head down on Louis’ shoulder. He hugs his knees to himself, feeling very uncomfortable with the conversation. When did Fizzy become so smart and observant? When did she grow up?

“Well, I do care,” Louis finally replies, looking at Fizzy, his eyes start to sting with unshed tears. She suddenly looks so grown up, and Louis wonders where the time went. He hasn’t really allowed himself to think about what would happen after summer, but he knows he can’t be with Harry.

“Maybe you shouldn’t.” Fizzy shrugs, her comment hitting Louis in the chest like a bullet. She then adds, “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. Your secret’s safe with me.” Fizzy kisses him on the check, probably tasting the tear that has escaped his eye, then stands up to leave him alone with his thoughts. He wipes his eyes and looks back at Harry who is smiling and walking towards him.

“You okay?” He asks, sitting down by Louis, brows drawn in worry.

“Yeah. ‘M fine. Just a bit cold I guess,” Louis replies, hugging his legs closer to his chest, the conversation he had just had with Fizzy leaving him feeling exposed and raw.

“Here, take my flannel,” Harry says, already pulling the item of clothing off his arms and handing it to Louis.

“Thanks,” Louis replies, taking it and putting it on. The material swallows him whole, but at the same time makes him feel warm and cozy. It smells like Harry, making him feel so much better after his conversation with his sister.

They sit in silence for a long time, letting the moonlight wash over them and watching the kids as they continue to play. “You’re really good with them, you know? They love you,” Louis breaks the silence.

“Really? You think so?” Harry’s answering smile lights up the night more than the moonlight ever could.

“Yeah. I do. Daisy normally doesn’t take to new people easily, but she already loves you. You’re a natural,” Louis says, his brain betraying him by creating a brief image of Harry playing with their own kids. That couldn’t happen though, because they couldn’t have children since they are two men. His Mom would be devastated. 

“I’m glad. I really like them too,” Harry says, smiling again at Louis. It hurts his chest. They eventually get up off the grass to help Jay and Dan clean up and tell everyone goodbye. Fizzy is tasked with putting the younger twins to bed, while Lottie is asked to do the same for the older twins.

Finally, after what seems like the longest day in existence, Louis and Harry make their way up to Louis’ bedroom, the rest of the family already in bed. As soon as the door shuts, Harry starts kissing him, hurriedly pulling him onto the bed.

“Need you,” he mumbles in between kisses, his deep gravelly voice causing all of Louis’ blood to rush south. It must the blood shortage that makes Louis think this is a good idea.

“I’m exhausted and stinky, so nothing too invasive,” Louis chuckles, returning the kiss.

“You’ve had me on edge ever since we were in here the last time,” Harry says quietly, pulling his own flannel from Louis’ shoulders then pulling Louis’ shirt over his head in one swift motion.

“I know, me too,” Louis admits, starting to become as desperate as Harry. He pulls Harry’s shirt off of him then they both make quick work of their shorts and underwear, tossing them from the bed. He gasps when Harry takes his erection in his hand and begins firmly stroking.

“Gotta be quiet, love,” Harry chastises, suppressing his next moan with a heated kiss. Harry then pulls his body onto his side, and lines his own body so their dicks are touching as they kiss. Louis bites back a moan when he feels Harry take both of them in one large hand and starts jerking them off in tandem. The squeeze of Harry’s hand and the delicious warmth his own hard length pressed up against his is maddening. Louis makes the mistake of looking down and is met with one of the most erotic sights he has ever witnessed. Precome is beading at both of their tips, Harry’s hand moving in a slow and steady rhythm, the veins on the underside of their cocks are lined up and rubbing together with each stroke.

“Fuck Harry, I’m close,” Louis whispers, almost ashamed of how quick his orgasm has approached.

“Me too,” Harry replies, messily kissing him again, all tongue, teeth, and spit. He picks up the pace, and a few seconds or hours later, Louis’ whole body tightens with its release, moaning into Harry’s mouth. Harry cries out at almost the same time, his hot come coating both of their dicks, stomachs, and chest. They lay there kissing lazily and panting for a few seconds before Harry gets up to grabs a dirty shirt to clean off his hand and their bodies. Louis stands up too, putting his underwear, shirt, and joggers from their drive down back on.

“The girls will probably be in here bright and early ,and I don’t want them to see us naked in bed together. They are a bit young for that explanation,” Louis supplies at Harry’s confused look.

“Oh. I didn’t think of that. Fuck, I hate sleeping in clothes,” Harry pouts, then starts pulling on his own clothes. They both climb in the bed, the smell of home wrapping around Louis like a familiar blanket.

“Good night, Haz. Thanks for bringing me home,” Louis says into the darkness.

“Good night, Lou. Thanks for letting me,” Harry replies.

“Umm… Lou?” Harry says after a few minutes of silence. Louis’ eyes pop open.

“Yeah?”

“Can we cuddle?”

“‘Course, Hazza,” Louis replies, turning over and draping his chest over Harry’s back, pulling both of their shirts up just a little, providing some skin-on-skin contact. Harry tangles their fingers together, and after just a few minutes, they are both sound asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and Comments are always welcome!  
> Follow me on my social media for updates or just to chat xx  
> Twitter: @Wicked_Archer  
> Tumblr: wicked-archer


	11. Delicate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Harry surprise Jay and Dan with a proposition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a [Spotify Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/mmbrabd/playlist/3K8GDQgXDwKVDLVF6h3H1T?si=sgO-djloQzmO81_jPnYdYQ%20rel=) that will be updated weekly with the songs represented as chapter titles as well as any other songs that are featured in each chapter.

_ The closer I get to your paper heart; And the tighter I hold on   
_ _ Gently covered in paper cuts; I’m more stubborn than some  
_ _ You’re like the first day of winter; Everyday day of the year  
_ _ 'Cause you’re  too scared to let me in; Never close only near  
_ __ I’m just delicate, just a little more delicate than you- Janet Devlin

 

The next morning, Harry opens one eye, seeing sunlight streaming through a crack in the curtain, however, that is not what wakes him up. He feels an incessant tapping on his cheek. He is about to tell Niall to go away and leave him the fuck alone so he can sleep, but he quickly realizes that the hand is far too small to be Niall’s. With a sudden rush, he remembers that he is at Louis’ childhood home. He hears Louis groan beside him, one warm arm still draped over his waist.

“Wake up, Hazzy! Wake up, Lou-Lou!” A high pitched voice breaks through the haze of sleep. Before he has time to react, a small body lands on top of his, he can’t help but grunt form the impact. He cracks both eyes open in time to see Phoebe and Daisy getting to their feet and begin to jump on the bed, shaking both Harry and Louis in the process.

“What the fuck?” He hears Louis moan beside of him. He glances over to see that Louis has both hands over his face, rubbing up and down.

“Mommy told us to wake you. She says breakfast is almost ready, and you and Hazzy need to get out of bed,” one of them says, Harry isn’t sure which one since they have changed their clothes from yesterday. He makes a mental note to ask Louis who is wearing which outfit later.

“Fuck,” Louis says under his breath, and Harry agrees with the sentiment completely. He looks over at the clock in Louis’ room. It reads 6am, and he wants to cry.

“Stop cuddling and come down stairs,” the other twin says, plopping down between them and pulling at Louis’ arm to get it away from Harry. Her innocent comment makes both Harry and Louis freeze. They didn’t even think she would notice.

Louis recovers first when he grabs the still jumping twin and starts tickling her, prompting a shriek. Harry sits up and does the same with the other, both twins laughing hysterically by the time they are done. “Alright. We are up. You did your jobs.” Louis stops his tickling and looks at both girls.

“Yay!” They cheer then get off the bed ungracefully, then run from the room, leaving the door open.

“I’m still so tired. How do they have that much energy,” Harry sighs, covering his eyes with his forearm and collapsing on the bed.

“They’re eight,” Louis answers, tapping on Harry’s forearm to get him to start moving, then swinging his own legs out of bed. They both go to the bathroom to brush their teeth.

“I need to shower. I feel gross,” Harry declares, running his hand through his greasy hair. He quickly pulls it up into a bun, making it look halfway presentable.

“We can shower after breakfast. Lottie and Fizzy showered last night, so it shouldn’t be problem,” Louis replies as they make their way downstairs.

“Before we go down there, which twin is wearing what today?” Harry asks, not wanting to mix them up. He knows he would be upset if he was constantly mistaken for someone else, twin or not. 

“Phoebe is wearing shorts and Daisy is wearing a dress. Daisy tends to be a bit more girly than Phoebe,” Louis supplies, smiling at Harry’s question. Harry files that information away as they walk down the stairs.

Breakfast is just about as chaotic as Harry thought it would be. Everyone is crowded around the small table, plates piled high with food that was sat out before them. As soon as they enter the kitchen, Lottie hands Doris to Louis. The man takes her quickly without seeming to even think about it.

“Feed Dory. I’ll feed Ernie,” Lottie directs, picking the other child up from the floor. Harry didn’t even notice he was there, and panics for a moment at the thought of almost stepping on him.

“Where’s Dan?” Louis asks as Harry follows him to the table, squeezing himself between Louis and Fizzy.

“He’s mowing the grass. Wanted to get an early start before it gets too hot. He should be done soon,” Jay explains, plating the last of the bacon and sitting it down in the only empty spot at the table. “Dig in.” 

After Jay utters those words, it feels like The Hunger Games to Harry. Everyone reaches to grab whatever they want and put it on their own plates. Louis laughs at Harry’s reaction, and uses one hand to load both of their plates with various foods, the other firmly holding Doris on his knee between the two men. Louis looks so at home with the activity, it astonishes Harry.

Louis explains to Harry that Doris still drinks from a bottle, but she can also eat solid foods. She is apparently a bit of a picky eater though, according to Jay’s warning. Louis smiles when Harry is able to coerce the baby into taking a few bits of eggs and eating some pepper gravy off the tip of his finger, Doris smacking her mouth loudly at the taste, babbling and drooling all down her bib.  Harry is so delighted by this occurrence, he almost forgets to eat his own food. By the end of breakfast, Doris has managed to get as much food on herself, Harry, and Louis as she had gotten in her stomach.

“Now we really do need a shower,” Harry says, pulling a piece of egg out of Louis’ hair, both men laughing.

“You two are gonna make great parents someday,” Fizzy says quietly from beside them. Harry’s brows hit his hair line in surprise, but before he gets a chance to question her about her comment, she is already gone. He shoots a confused look to Louis, who seems to find the refrigerator quite fascinating. His cheeks are red though, so Harry is sure he heard the comment too. He can’t ask him because Jay is suddenly there to taking Doris from Harry’s hold (he isn’t sure when he became the one holding her) and shoos both him and Louis upstairs to take a shower, saying that she would clean up the kitchen. They take turns showering; Harry feels a million times better after washing away the trip and outdoor activities from the day before.

They spend the morning and most of the afternoon driving around town, Louis showing him different places that mean a lot to him including his high school, Liam’s old house, and even where he had his first job, a frozen yogurt place. They eat lunch at Louis’ favorite local restaurant, which Harry thinks is delicious. They even run into some people Louis knows, with Louis making small talk and introducing Harry. Harry finds that he loves learning about Louis and the places that shaped him into the person he has grown to love.

 

__________

  
  


“Hey Haz,” Louis starts, looking over at Harry in the passenger seat as they drive back to Louis’ parents house.

“Yeah?” Harry asks, catching his eye for a moment before Louis is forced to look back at the road.

“I wanna do something nice for my Mom and Dan, but I need to ask you about it first. Make sure you’re okay with it, since it may involve you,” Louis says, suddenly nervous about Harry’s reaction. It’s a lot to ask of someone who hasn’t been around children.

“Anything,” Harry replies eagerly, sitting up straighter in his seat and giving his full attention to Louis. Louis smiles because of how nice Harry is. He knows Harry has already made up his mind before Louis even asks, and he feels warm by the knowledge.

“Well, they don’t get to go out on dates very often, with six kids still living at home. I was thinking that maybe we could babysit while they go out for a nice evening tonight. It will just be both sets of twins. Fizzy is having dinner at a friend’s house and Lottie has a date,” Louis explains, rolling his eyes at the last part. He had gotten a chance to talk to Luke a bit more at the barbeque; Harry warning him to be nice. Luke is a decent guy, even though Louis would never admit that out loud.  

“I think that’s a great idea!” Harry exclaims, a smile lighting up his whole face. “It would be a great way to thank them for having me this weekend too.”

“You sure? I mean, I’ve done the whole babysitting thing before, and I know it’s not exactly an ideal way to spend a Saturday night,” Louis gives Harry one more chance to say no.

“It’s fine, Lou. I love your siblings. It will be awesome,” Harry says, and Louis actually believes him. When they get home, he explains their proposition to both his mother and Dan. Dan seems excited from the beginning, but Jay needs a bit more convincing. She doesn’t want Louis to have to babysit his siblings while he is supposed to home visiting. Louis and Harry both assure her that they want to do this, and she deserves a night off. Dan is finally able to persuade her by reminding her that they haven’t been on a date in ages, so after a few minutes of debating, she hesitantly agrees.

Louis and Harry watch the first Harry Potter movie with all of Louis’ siblings while Dan and Jay get ready for their date. Lottie eventually excuses herself to get ready too, Louis barely suppressing an eye roll at Harry’s stern look. Fizzy continues to make comments about the nature of his and Harry’s relationship, and Louis wants to strangle her. If Harry is confused, he doesn’t let on, so at least that is something. At five o'clock sharp, Dan and Jay walk into the living room. She looks lovely in a nice black dress, her hair pulled up into an elegant twist. Dan is dressed in nice black slacks, a button up, and a tie. Louis smiles when he sees them, both he and Harry standing from their place on the couch.

“Mom, you look lovely,” Louis greets her, kissing his mother on the cheek.

“Well, I guess this old woman can clean up nice every now and again,” she laughs.

“Louis. Harry. Thanks for doing this,” Dan says from behind her.

“Alright. Doris and Ernie go to bed usually around eight. If they get fussy, you may have to rock them to sleep. Phoebe and Daisy’s bedtime is nine pm sharp, don’t let them try to convince you otherwise. If they try to get out of it, read them a story. It usually puts them right to sleep. Make sure they take a bath before they go to bed…” Louis cuts Jay’s speech off.

“I know, Mom. I used to do this all the time with Fiz, and Lots when the twins were young. I am an old pro. Please go, and have fun,” Louis says, putting his hand on his mom’s waist and pushing her towards the door.

“Don’t rush me, Louis William Tomlinson!” she exclaims, turning back around towards them. “There is a lasagna on the stove, just put it in the oven…” Jay’s sentence gets cut off by Dan this time.

“Honey, I think Louis knows what he is doing. He is probably better at this than me. He certainly has more experience,” Dan chuckles, wrapping his arm around Jay’s waist and literally pulling her to the door. Louis hears Harry laugh behind him, probably being reminded of his own mother.

“Yes, Mom, listen to your husband. I know what I’m doing, plus I have Harry here to help, although he probably will be useless since he knows fuck all about kids,” Louis says, all three adults laughing at Harry’s outraged ‘Hey!’ behind them.

“Alright, Boobear. You know I trust you. We will be home around midnight probably.” Jay kisses Louis on his flaming cheek from her use of his old nickname. Gods, he hopes Harry didn’t hear it.

“Boobear?” Harry asks as soon as the door clicks shut. Louis turns around to seeing Harry with a shit eating grin on his face. Louis rolls his eyes.

“If you tell anyone, I will hang you from a tree by your toenails,” Louis threatens, but Harry just laughs.

“I think it’s cute,” Harry replies, looking around the room then wrapping his arms around Louis. “I think I am going to change your contact name in my phone to Boobear.”

“Don’t you dare!” Louis exclaims, slapping Harry’s muscled chest. Just as Harry’s starts leaning down to kiss him, he hears someone clear their throat behind him. Louis pushes Harry away from him like he’s been burned to see Fizzy smiling knowingly at them. He hates her.

“Well, I’m off to Alesha’s house! Don’t wait up,” is all she says then walks out the door, winking at Louis. Louis doesn’t have time to react since his heart feels like it might break his rib cage from beating against it so hard. He thought they were caught by Lottie or the gods forbid, one of the twins. Those little girls couldn’t keep their mouths shut for anything. He looks over at Harry who looks like he is about to say something when they are interrupted again, this time, by Lottie.

“Alright. I’m off to my date,” Lottie says, and Louis’ eyes widen when he takes in her outfit. She is wearing light wash, tight, skinny jeans with holes all over the material, and a light pink crop top.

“Not wearing that, you aren’t,” Louis stands in front of her, his arms crossed over his chest.

“Too bad you don’t get to decide what I wear,” Lottie shoots back, rolling her eyes, causing Louis’ temper to flare.

“You look like a stripper!” Louis exclaims, outraged by his sister’s behavior.

“I do not!” Lottie yells back, stomping her foot.

“Oh please! All you need is a pole and a name like Tits McGee!” Louis bellows. Lottie flinches at that statement, and good, he wants to get to her.

“Enough, Lou,” he hears Harry say from behind him, his voice steady. He rounds on Harry because how dare he intervene for the second time regarding his own sister.

“No! You don’t get to tell me what I can and cannot say to my sister.” Louis feels his anger boiling under his skin, burning him like lava. A hurt look passes over Harry’s features before he schools them into indifference and blinks at Louis, waiting for him to calm down.

“Lou, she looks fine. She looks like all the other girls her age. The outfit she wears does not determine her level of sexual activity,” Harry finally says very carefully and slowly, as if trying not to piss Louis off even more. He can feel his resolve softening, because it’s fucking Harry. He can’t be mad at him. He has tried, and his stupid face won’t let him. “Remember what I said about trusting your sister?” 

“Yeah. Yeah. It’s just hard. She’s my little sister. I don’t like the idea of her growing up and having a boy’s hands all over her,” Louis admits, his anger leaving him like air from a balloon.

“I know, love,” Harry says quietly. Louis can see Harry wants to reach out and hold him, but refrains because Lottie is watching them.

“Alright Lottie, have fun. Don’t stay out too late. Your curfew is midnight on the weekend,” Louis says, turning back to his sister who has her arms crossed in front of her chest, glaring at him.

“And?” Harry prompts.

Louis sighs because he really doesn’t want to do this, however he clearly hurt his sister’s feelings, so he needs to make it right. “And, I’m sorry for what I said. It was out of line. I know you’re a good kid, and I need to learn to have a little more faith in you.” 

“Thank you,” Lottie says, relaxing then hugging Louis, kissing him on the cheek. She then moves to hug Harry. Louis smiles at Harry’s surprised expression, then he quickly leans into the hug, wrapping his long arms around her body. The image does something to Louis’ stomach and leaves a warm feeling in his chest. She waves goodbye to them, then leaves them alone in the living room once more.

“Alright Haz,” Louis says, turning to Harry, breaking some of the tension in the room. “Go put the Lasagna in the oven. I am going to go check on the girls.” He glances at the babies in their playpen, babbling happily and playing with some toys. When Harry nods, he heads up the stairs, going into Phoebe and Daisy’s room, finding them stretched on the floor playing with Barbies. Phoebe currently making two of her Ken dolls kiss, which… okay?

“Alright munchkins, time to come downstairs. It’s just you two, me, Harry, and the babies tonight.” Louis smiles as both girls cheer then run downstairs, probably to find Harry. He follows after them, hearing them laugh at something Harry said.

“Oh! Oh! Lou! Can you paint our nails!? Please! Pretty please!” Daisy begs as soon as she sees her brother.

“Sure thing, go pick out a color. Pick out one for Haz, too. He wants his painted,” Louis says, winking at Harry who smiles.

“Really? He does? Boys don’t paint their nails though,” Daisy asks, her blonde brows drawn in confusion.

“Don’t be silly, Daisy. Boys can paint their nails if they want,” Phoebe replies, like her sister should know this information.

“Yeah. Boys can paint their nails too,” Louis assures his little sister. “Now off you go.”

Five minutes later, all four of them are sat on the floor with Louis shaking a bottle of light blue nail polish, Phoebe’s chosen color. Daisy chooses purple then they both choose pink for Harry, much to his pleasure. Daisy insists on Harry doing the painting of her nails even though Harry told her he isn’t very good at it. The TV is playing some cartoon in the background as they both get to work, Harry cursing under his breath when he messes up, prompting Louis to laugh and almost mess up himself.

“Your turn, Hazzy!” Phoebe exclaims once both her fingernails and toenails are blue.

“You know the drill,” Louis says, carefully taking Harry’s large hand his own, his body tingling at the touch since they haven’t had a lot of opportunity to publicly display affection around his siblings. Harry smiles as Louis starts to paint his nails a light shade of pink, with Phoebe and Daisy watching carefully.

“Done!” Louis announces once he finishes Harry’s pinky on his left hand.

“Thanks, Lou,” Harry says, admiring the new color, eyes sparkling with delight. Louis serves dinner and they all eat, Louis feeding Ernest baby food, while Harry feeds Doris, since he seems to have the magic touch. Daisy and Phoebe talk animatedly the entire time, excited for school to start soon, both wanting to see their friends and meet their new teacher. Harry, bless him, listens carefully replying at all the right moments while he tries to juggle feeding Doris and himself. He is a natural really.

“Alright. Girls, go pick a movie to watch while Haz and I clean up,” Louis instructs, gesturing towards the living room. They skip out of the room then he and Harry get to work. Harry loads the dishwasher and puts away leftovers while Louis tries to clean up the babies, listening for any arguments between his sisters. They make a good team. 

“What did you ladies decide?” Harry asks when he and Louis make their way into the living room, babies in tow.

“Tangled!” both girls exclaim simultaneously. They put both babies down on the floor, making sure the baby gates leading to both the stairwell and the kitchen are latched then Louis loads the blu-ray player with the chosen movies. Louis laughs through the whole movie, mostly at Harry and his sisters singing along to the music and dancing around the living room, mimicking the actions seen on the screen. He thinks Phoebe and Daisy are laughing almost as much as him when Harry attempts to sing a high note of Rapunzel’s, causing his voice to crack. By the end of the movie, Louis is pretty sure his little sisters are convinced that Harry is a Disney prince. He may even be convinced of that himself at this point.

“Can we watch another movie?” Daisy asks, turning big blue eyes towards him after Tangled ends.

Louis glances at the clock above the TV. It reads 7:30, which means they will barely have enough time for a Disney movie before the girls have to go to bed. He knows he shouldn’t, but he can’t stop himself from nodding his head. The girls cheer and pick Brave out of the stack of movies.

“Haz, can you look up how long this movie lasts? I left my phone in my room,” Louis asks, looking over at Harry who has one baby in his arms and the other crawling on his legs.

“My phone is right beside you. You can use it; you know I don’t care,” Harry says, smiling. Louis finds his phone and taps the home button to activate the screen. He freezes in surprise when he sees a picture of himself and Harry as the phone background. It’s a black and white selfie Harry had taken of them one day when they were out to lunch on the deck of a restaurant. Louis is wearing aviators while Harry’s curls are pushed back with his own set of sunglasses. Louis remembers the day quite fondly, Harry begging him for a picture and taking several with Louis making silly faces before Louis finally decided to be nice and kiss Harry on the corner of the mouth right as he snapped the picture. Louis’ heart drops when he realizes this is something that a couple would do, set a picture of them as their phone background. He feels sick to his stomach, but quickly wipes the shock from his face and looks up the time for Brave.

 

__________

  
  


Louis seems distant as they begin watching Brave, but Harry tries not to comment on it. He has no idea what has gotten into him, everything seemed fine during the first movie. They are about 15 minutes into the movie. Louis has a sleeping Ernie on his chest while he lays on his back on the couch. He sneaks a quick photo to capture the moment. Harry is rocking Doris gently, the baby almost asleep. They had already changed their diapers between movies, so they just need to get Doris asleep then transfer them into their cribs.

“Lou,” Harry whispers, well aware that the older twins are also almost asleep on the floor. “I think Doris is finally asleep.”

Louis looks over and smiles, and Harry thinks for a second that maybe they will be okay. “Let’s try to get them into the cribs without waking them,” Louis whispers back, carefully standing up from the couch. Harry follows him into Jay and Dan’s room where they very gently place the sleeping twins in their cribs. Harry is proud of himself for not waking Doris in the process. Harry tucks the little blanket under her chin and touches her soft cheek one more time before he follows Louis out. They go back in the living room, sharing a smile when they see both Phoebe and Daisy are asleep on the floor.

“Maybe we should just put them to bed and skip the bath,” Louis says softly, looking at Harry as if Harry has an answer. This is all new to him though.

“Up to you. I don’t want your mom to be mad,” Harry replies quietly, looking down at the sleeping girls.

“She’ll get over it. In fact, she would probably do the same,” Louis says with a shrug. He bends down to hoist Phoebe into his arms. She mumbles something under her breath, but doesn’t wake up. Harry does the same to Daisy, the sleeping girl feeling feather light in his arms. He carefully walks up the stairs and into the girls’ room, making sure not to hit her head on anything on the way up.

“Lou?” Daisy asks softly.

“No, it’s Hazzy,” Harry replies, looking down at the girl in his arms. She cracks an eye open and smiles at him as he lays her down on her bed.

“Will you read us a story?” Phoebe asks just as Louis lays her in her own bed.

“Just one,” Louis says, holding up one finger. Both girls smile and grab their stuffed animals as they snuggle down into their beds. Harry and Louis read them a story from the bookshelf in their room, making up funny voices for each characters, prompting the girls to giggle. Once the story is over, Harry watches fondly as Louis kisses each girl on the cheek and tells them good night. Harry also says goodnight, then they shut the door quietly behind them.

“I am pooped, and it’s only 9 o’clock,” Harry says, yawning when they are safely in the hallway.

“I know what you mean, and I'm kind of used to this,” Louis replies with a smile.

Louis and Harry go back downstairs and curl up on the couch together, cuddling under a blanket to watch the rest of the movie, Harry admitting that it’s his favorite Disney movie. Even though they are cuddling, things feel strange between them. Like there is so much going left unsaid. Everything feels intangible, like they are balanced on the edge, but can’t seem to grasp anything to stop the fall. At some point, Harry must fall asleep on Louis’ chest because he is roused awake by Louis’ soft voice.

“Ready for bed, love?”

“Hmm… Yeah. I suppose so,” Harry replies, sitting up and stretching, his back popping in the process. He looks at the clock. It is barely after ten. He must have slept through the end of the movie because Louis is currently watching something on Netflix. They slowly make their way upstairs and into Louis’ room. Once the door closes, Harry draws Louis into a deep kiss. He can’t help it. He just needs to know that Louis is there. Louis is still with him. That what they have is real and not just some incorporeal thing that will just float away in the wind. Louis returns his kiss after a few moments, things getting heated quickly.

“Do you have anything?” Louis asks, kissing down Harry’s neck.

“Yeah, in my bag,” Harry says quietly, pointing to his bag in the corner. “Wait, how will we know if the babies need anything?” Harry asks, eyes widening with the thought of forgetting about the younger twins downstairs.

“Relax, I have the baby monitor.” Louis holds up a walkie-talkie looking device in the shape of an owl, waving it in front of Harry’s face. Harry smiles because suddenly he feels like they are married and talking about their own children. He pushes that thought away and begins kissing Louis again with renewed passion. Louis moans into his mouth when Harry bites his bottom lip.

“We have to be quiet or we will wake the kids,” Harry tells Louis, smiling at him. Louis rolls his eyes, but smiles back, which Harry counts as a win. He goes to his bag and retrieves his lube and a condom, laying both items on the bed.  He looks up to see Louis staring at them, seemingly lost in thought, immediately filling Harry with worry.

“You okay, Lou?” Harry asks, rubbing one hand down Louis’ arms. His voice seems to snap Louis out of his haze.

“Yeah. ‘M fine,” Louis answers, rubbing a hand over his face, scratching his stubble. He looks at Harry one more time with an expression that Harry can’t read, but before Harry can question it, Louis’ mouth is on his in a searing kiss. Louis pushes him on the bed, falling down on top of him, not breaking their kiss. Harry automatically spreads his legs, to cradle Louis’ hips between them. Louis’ hands are all over him, searing his skin and driving him mad with lust. His cock is so hard in his pants that he is afraid it will pop the button.

Louis begins undressing him quickly, kissing him messily in the process, all teeth and spit. Harry does the same, ripping the shirt off Louis’ back then, using both hands to push Louis’ shorts down his legs, allowing Louis to kick them off from there. He moans into Louis’ mouth when their bare cocks touch, sending a spark of electricity through his whole body, reminding him of what happened last night.

“Fuck, Lou. Please,” Harry begs. He doesn’t know exactly what he is asking for. Perhaps Louis inside of him or perhaps a real relationship. Louis must think the first one because he gets up on his knees, takes Harry’s hips and flips him over on his stomach. Harry gets the idea and quickly pulls himself up on his hands and knees. Without warning, Louis’ slicked up finger is tracing his hole. Harry loves how confident Louis has gotten at this since they first had sex. He doesn’t even ask Harry first, instead just going for it.

Harry bites his lip to stop a moan from escaping when Louis pushes a finger in all the way down to the last knuckle. Louis’ finger feels so good, Harry could cry. Louis teases him with just the one finger for a little while, purposefully avoiding his prostate, driving Harry mad with desire.

“More. Fuck. Please more,” Harry begs, fisting the sheets below him.

“Okay, baby,” Louis soothes behind him, adding another finger and crooking it to touch Harry’s prostate sending a shock of arousal through his whole body. Harry chokes back a moan, knowing he needs to stay quiet if they are going to continue. When he starts fucking himself on Louis’ digits, Louis adds a third, stretching his hole, making him clench the sheets. The pain and burning are a welcome feeling to all the pleasure.

“‘M ready. Please Lou,” Harry chants, wiggling his ass at Louis. Louis doesn’t say anything, removing his fingers. Harry whimpers at the loss, but doesn’t get a chance to dwell on it because he can feel Louis’ hard length pressing against his rim. When Louis bottoms out, he bites his lip hard, trying to suppress a scream of pleasure. It has been a long time since he has fucked anyone doggie style, and it is almost too much.

“Want me to move, baby?” Louis asks when Harry starts rocking back and forth, trying to create some friction.

“Please,” Harry whispers, preening at the pet name. When Louis starts moving inside of him, the feeling is wonderful. He begins with an easys, steady rhythm, but it isn’t enough.

“Harder, Lou. Please, fuck me harder. I can take it,” Harry says, looking back at Louis who looks fucked out and disheveled. Louis nods once, grips Harry’s hips hard enough to leave bruises, then starts pounding in to him. Skin slapping skin is the only sound heard throughout the room. Harry realizes he is being pushed up the bed and away from Louis, so he braces his hands against the wall, timing it to push back against Louis’ thrusts, making everything rougher and burying Louis deep inside with every thrust. Harry is out of his mind with the need to come, so he presses his face into the pillow, letting his moans be muffled. He just feels so full. So full of Louis, he wants to scream. 

“I told you to be quiet, baby.” Harry hears Louis’ voice, quiet and raspy. He suddenly feels Louis’ small hand tangle in his hair, yanking hard, so Harry has no choice but to follow. His back is to Louis’ chest, their torsos aligning, a bit slippery with sweat. Harry cries out at the change of angle and pain, not able to stop the sound from escaping his red bitten lips.

“Guess, I’m gonna have to give you something to preoccupy that pretty little mouth with,” Louis whispers in his ear, his rough voice going straight to Harry’s neglected cock, making it blurt precome. Harry just nods, then Louis brings three fingers up to his mouth and shoves them down his throat, never stopping the motion of his hips. Harry does all he can do, he sucks on the fingers Louis has given him, moaning quietly around them with every thrust.

“That’s it. Good boy, being so quiet for me,” Louis says in his ear. Harry just nods around his fingers, continuing to get them wet with his own spit. He doesn’t think he has ever been so turned on in his life, his whole body feels like it is on fire all because of Louis. He can feel tears streaming down his face as Louis’ fingers hit the back of his throat again and again, matching the thrusts with his cock. He just doesn’t care; he has never felt so good.

“You’re so tight like this. You look so beautiful, all for me,” Louis growls in his ear, gripping his hip with his free hand and thrusting harder and faster. Louis removes his fingers and quickly wraps the wet hand around Harry’s leaking cock, matching the rhythm with his hips. Harry just leans back on Louis letting the other man support his weight, feeling too close to his orgasm to care.

“I’m gonna come. I’m gonna fill up your tight little ass with it,” Louis murmurs, biting Harry’s neck hard, sending him over the edge into bliss. He thinks Louis comes in the condom shortly after, but he is too busy openly sobbing from the intensity of it all. He collapses on his stomach, not even noticing the wet spot he is laying on.

“Baby, are you alright?” Louis’ worried voice breaks into his blissed out haze. He feels a warm hand on his back. If Louis didn’t sound so concerned, Harry probably would have ignored the question. As is, he presses his face to the pillow, attempting to dry his tears before he faces Louis, not wanting to freak him out even more.

“Yeah. I’m great,” Harry smiles at Louis who returns it with a bright smile of his own.

“Me too.”

“I think I’m dead,” Harry finally declares, rolling over. His limbs feel heavy; his head fuzzy and disoriented.

“That would make me a zombie fucker, and that just sounds unpleasant,” Louis quips, and Harry bursts out laughing, quickly covering it, trying to be mindful of the sleeping children across the hall.

“I think I ruined your comforter,” Harry grimaces at the wet spot.

“No worries. We will throw it in the corner, and I will put it in the wash before we leave,” Louis says, tapping Harry on the leg. Harry rolls his eyes, then gently gets out of bed. Louis pulls the stained comforter off and throws it in the corner. They both put some clothes on and climb in bed, turning off the light. Harry doesn’t even have to ask this time, because Louis pulls him close, spooning him against his chest as they fall asleep.

 

__________

  
  


Louis wakes up naturally the next morning, no small hands smacking his face. He creeps out of bed and looks at Harry sleeping peacefully. He is breathtaking bathed in the soft morning light, making caramel colors in his hair stand out. His face is relaxed, full lips a bit slouched, one hand cradling his chin. Louis thinks about last night and how well Harry interacted with his youngest siblings, warming his heart just a bit. He tries not to wake him as he takes his comforter down stairs to throw it in the wash.

“What are you doing?” He hears Jay behind him as he is loading the comforter, causing him to jump a mile into the air out of fear.

“Um… One of the twins spilled juice on it last night,” Louis lies.

His mom slants her eyes at him, giving him a questioning look before her features soften. “Okay. I will take care of drying it and putting it back on your bed.”

Louis lets out a breath he didn’t notice he was holding. “Thanks, Mom.”

Louis and his mom spend the rest of the morning talking and catching up. He has missed her so much over the past nine months, but it is almost as if he never left. As the morning goes on, different family members make their way in and out of the kitchen, grabbing whatever quick breakfast they want. Eventually Harry comes down, smiling and making himself a bowl of cereal. He also makes Louis one, per Louis’ request. Jay just smiles, but doesn’t say anything at the show of  domesticity.

The rest of the morning is spent just as lazily. Louis and Harry play with the babies, braid the twin’s hair, and talk to Lottie and Fizzy about Universities, and where they want to attend. Lottie informs them that she wants to go to cosmetology school instead of a four-year University. Fizzy explains that she would like to be a high school history teacher. Louis feels the remaining time with his family ticking by, feeling sadder by the second. Before they know it, it is after lunch and time for Louis and Harry to head out.

A feeling of melancholy washes over Louis as he and Harry pack up the Jeep, Louis’ entire family standing in the yard by the sidewalk to tell them goodbye. Louis doesn’t like long goodbyes, so he quickly hugs each and every one of his siblings, telling them that he loves them, and he will see them on his birthday. Phoebe and Daisy start crying, hugging him tightly, not wanting to let go. He barely stops his own tears as he pries their small arms from his legs. He hugs and kisses his mom, then finally hugs Dan, telling him to take care of them.

Harry starts by shaking Dan’s hand, thanking and hugging Jay, then hugging each one of Louis’ siblings, prompting the twins to start crying all over again. They really have become attached to Harry in such a short amount of time. Leaving them breaks Louis’ heart because they don’t quite understand why he has to go. Lottie says something to Harry, prompting him to smile. Louis thinks it probably has something to do with Harry standing up for her over the past few days. He watches as Harry whispers something into Phoebe’s ear then Daisy’s, both girls nodding their head vigorously. The last person Harry hugs is Fizzy, who is standing next to Louis.

“Nice hickey, by the way,” Fizzy says, loud enough for both Louis and Harry to hear as Harry pulls away from the hug. Harry quickly claps his hand over the very light mark from last night, blushing. Fizzy just smiles knowingly and winks at Louis. Louis wants to strangle her, but rolls his eyes instead. Harry looks shyly over at him.

“Thank you all for having me, I really had a lovely time,” Harry says to the entire group.

“We loved having you. Please, come back anytime,” Jay replies, wiping her own tears.

“That’s up to, Lou,” Harry answers, glancing over at Louis, conveying his double meaning. If Louis’ heart breaks a little more at the comment, he isn’t going to tell anyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and Comments are always welcome!  
> Follow me on my social media for updates or just to chat xx  
> Twitter: @Wicked_Archer  
> Tumblr: wicked-archer


	12. Eavesdrop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis takes Harry to the concert as the summer starts to come to an end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a [Spotify Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/mmbrabd/playlist/3K8GDQgXDwKVDLVF6h3H1T?si=sgO-djloQzmO81_jPnYdYQ%20rel=) that will be updated weekly with the songs represented as chapter titles as well as any other songs that are featured in each chapter.

_Oh, don’t say that it’s over_   
_Oh, no, say it ain’t so_   
_Let the stars watch, let them stare_   
_Let the wind eavesdrop, I don’t care_   
_For all that we’ve got, don’t let go_ _  
Just hold me- The Civil Wars_

“Shit!” Louis curses for the 147th time that hour as he removes his dish from the stove, almost burning himself in the process.

“I can’t believe you are cooking for someone,” Liam smirks, watching him.

“Fuck off, Liam. Don’t you have somewhere to be?” Louis glares at his friend, attempting to kill him with his eyes. He has no idea what possessed him to want to cook for Harry. He doesn’t cook. He is terrible at it and is always afraid of getting burned. He has been trying to distance himself from Harry since they returned from his parent’s house. He just needs to think, and the fall semester looming like a black cloud over him in the not so distant future is only making matters worse. A couple of his friends had texted him, already wanting to hang out since they are back in town. He has been avoiding them almost as much as he has been avoiding Harry, convinced that they will _know_ as soon as they see him. He understands how illogical that is, but he can’t help it.

He still hasn’t come any closer to a decision as to what to do about Harry. He doesn’t owe him anything. They had agreed from the beginning that it would be just an exploration thing, to scratch an itch, however he _feels_ like he owes him something. This thought has been keeping him up at night. He has somehow refrained from picking at his cuticles, but it seems as though it is only a matter of time before that will start to happen. His only other outlet for his recent unease has been soccer, but even that is not helping much.

“Yeah. You told me to get lost until six, so I am heading over to hang out with Niall, Cal, and Ash,” Liam states, bringing Louis back to the conversation.

“Well if I told you that, then perhaps you should, you know, fucking do it,” Louis snaps, poking the dish then immediately placing his burning finger in his mouth to soothe the sting.

“Testy. Testy.” Liam laughs, not taking Louis’ bad attitude to heart. Louis feels bad for snapping at Liam; he has just been so confused lately. More confused than at the beginning of the summer when he first met Harry. He doesn’t know how to voice this, so it comes out in anger and snarky remarks. Liam seems to understand this though, thankfully, and doesn’t push Louis to talk.

“So what if I am,” Louis says, glaring at Liam again.

“It’s okay to be nervous for a date, you know,” Liam soothes, eyes softening.

“It’s not a date,” Louis denies, feeling like he has already had this conversation a million times with his roommate. This is like the 36th occasion Liam has referred to him hanging out with Harry as a date.

“Lou, I have never seen you cook for anyone. Ever. If this doesn’t constitute as a date, then you’ve been doing them wrong,” Liam responds.

“I’m cooking. The world isn’t going to burn. Hell isn’t going to freeze over, and you tell me I’m dramatic.” Louis knows he isn’t really addressing the whole date thing, but he doesn't want to.

Liam rolls his eyes and attempts to steal a bit from the side dish, but Louis smacks his hand, hard. He made just enough for he and Harry; he didn’t need Laim trying to eat it. “With you cooking, the world may actually burn.” Liam chuckles at his own joke.

“Fuck off. I thought you were on your way out.”

“I am, but I am having fun torturing you too, you know. You’ve been acting so odd lately, everything okay?” Liam asks, soft eyes back in full force. Louis hasn’t talked to Liam about anything, knowing Liam and what Liam would say. He, frankly, doesn’t want to hear it.

“Yeah, I’m great. Just had a lot on my mind with the upcoming semester is all,” Louis answers, shrugging. He isn’t lying. He does have a lot on his mind; he just didn’t expand on it. He should have just lied to Liam though, because his friend looks skeptical.

“Nothing else?” Liam presses.

“Nope,” Louis says, popping the ‘p’, hoping Liam would get the fucking hint.

“Okay.”

“I am going to go change, and let this cool. You had better be gone by the time I get back,” Louis warns then walks out of the kitchen. He already has an outfit picked out, for once. The concert is outside, and it is shaping up to be a lovely night. The weather forecast says clear skies. By the time the headlining band comes out, it should be dark. Louis, as much as he doesn’t really like the bands playing, is sort of excited about it. He loves concerts, and he loves doing things with Harry, therefore it would be safe to assume that he is going to have a good time.

He goes into his room and changes into his chosen outfit, a pair of skinny jeans and a cut off t-shirt. He likes it because it shows off his tan and his tattoos. He checks himself in the mirror one more time before glancing at the clock. Harry should be here any minute now. He feels nervous about the meal he has prepared, knowing that Harry is actually a good cook. He doesn’t like when people judge him. It always makes him feel like shit, regardless of how nice they are about it. He can’t stand the thought of Harry criticizing him though.

He smiles when he hears the front door shut, signaling that Liam has finally left him alone. He then hears his phone vibrate from where he threw it on the bed, his brows drawn in confusion because nobody ever calls him, except his mom. When he grabs his phone, he sees her picture flashing on the screen. He almost ignores it, but thinks better of it and answers, since he hasn’t actually talked to her since they left on Sunday besides the mandatory ‘I’m home’ text.

“Hey Mom.”

_“Boobear! How are you!”_

“I’m fine,” Louis says, trying to hide the fact that he really isn’t fine.

_“I was thinking that maybe we could all get together for a Skype chat tonight? Phoebe and Daisy haven’t stopped talking about you since you left.”_

“I can’t tonight. I have a…” He almost says date, but bites his tongue, instead finishes, “Concert tonight with Harry.”

_“Oh! That sounds like fun. Come to think of it, Fizzy and Lottie mentioned it. We all loved Harry! He is a lovely boy, really. So well-mannered and quite handsome. Phoebe and Daisy keep asking when he is coming back. Fizzy and Lottie also seemed to like him a lot, too.”_

“Yeah, he’s great,” Louis says, ignoring the pang in his chest as he listens to his mother gush about Harry. He doesn’t think she has ever talked about any of his friends, girlfriend or otherwise, so fondly, except maybe Liam. He is well aware of how amazing Harry is and what he will be giving up if he can’t battle his own demons.

_“We are so glad you brought him home. I can’t believe he has never really been around kids before. He was so great with them. Please feel free to bring him back anytime. He seemed to really like you.”_

Louis freezes with her last comment. Does she know? She can’t know. He was so careful. Sure, Fizzy figured it out, but she is superhuman and quiet. His mom is so busy with everything else in her life, she barely has time to even glance in his direction.

_“Boo? Are you still there?”_

“Yeah. Sorry Mom, got distracted is all.”

_“It’s okay, dear.”_

“Well Mom, I’ve gotta go. Harry should be here any minute.” It wasn’t a lie, but he just kind of really wants to end this conversation. He wants his mother to stop talking about Harry and reminding him of how great he is.

_“Okay! I love you. Tell Harry we all say hi. Bye! Don’t be a stranger!”_

“Love you, too, and I’m sure he will be thrilled to hear it.” And with that, he taps the call end that pops up on his screen, letting out a deep breath, trying to tell himself that his mom doesn’t know what he and Harry are doing. He isn’t even sure what he and Harry have been doing. He runs his fingers through his quiff one last time when he hears a knock on the door.

“Fuck,” he whispers into the quiet of the room, letting out a deep breath, and walking towards the front door where his date for the night would be waiting. His date. His brain focuses on that word, turning it over in his mind, almost tasting it in his mouth, trying to come to a decision.

 

__________

 

It is the day of the concert, and Harry is nervous. It has been a week since they had gotten back from visiting Louis’ family, and Louis has been distancing himself more than ever. The situation sends a stabbing pain through Harry’s chest and makes him sick to his stomach. Louis had texted him last night and told him to be at his place at four, even though the gates for the concert don’t even open until six. Louis also told him to come hungry, so Harry is currently in his room, trying to decide what to wear.

With the fall semester being just over a week away, something about tonight feels final. It is a gnawing feeling in his gut that has been working its way up into his throat. He wants to cry because he doesn’t know what to _do_. He feels like the tighter he holds on, the more everything slips away. He has no idea where he and Louis stand. He is determined, though, to make the best of tonight.

“Why are you pouting? You should be excited about going to see one of your favorite bands,” Niall asks from the doorway, brows drawn in worry.

The question startles Harry out of his thoughts. He blinks away the tears that have formed in his eyes without him even realizing, and looks up at Niall. He has been avoiding talking to Niall about Louis and the way he has been distancing himself from Harry. Every time he even considers it, he hears Niall in the back of his mind telling Harry at the beginning of the summer not to fall for him. He just can’t bring himself to see the sadness on Niall’s face when Harry tells him that he has fallen for Louis, and Louis doesn’t feel the same.

“I am excited. I just don’t know what to wear,” Harry finally answers. It isn’t a lie. He is excited, underneath all of the anxiety, and he really doesn’t know what to wear. It’s just a concert. He will probably end up purchasing some merch when he gets there anyways.

“Why are you getting ready so early?”

“Oh. Lou told me to be at his place at four. I am guessing he wants to go grab something to eat before the concert.” Harry shrugs, studying his closet with a pointer finger resting on his chin. Niall comes in and mirrors his pose, causing Harry to chuckle at his best friend’s antics. Even though Niall doesn’t know it, he makes him feel better.

“Did you guys get your new class schedule worked out?” Niall asks, plopping down on the bed.

“Yup. Dropped all of my pre-law courses and added some suggested by my new advisor. I even managed to get Fridays off,” Harry tells him, smiling at the memory. It was the one day this week that he had gotten to see Louis. They met up in a public area with Wi-Fi, despite Harry’s proposal of making the adjustments at one of their apartments. Just another example of how Louis is distancing himself. Louis had been wearing his glasses, claiming his contacts were bothering him that morning. He looked so smart and cute typing away on his laptop, teaching Harry how to search for courses then add/drop each course using something called a CRN through the university’s registration page. Harry felt like a real adult, and Louis was so good at figuring out how all of the classes fit, giving him options about times and days of the week. Harry knew he couldn’t have done it without him.

“That’s great, Haz. I’m happy for you,” Niall says from behind him. He sees Niall smiling at him from the mirror on his closet door.

“Yeah. I’m glad, too.”

“Everything else okay?” Niall asks hesitantly after a few moments of silence.

Harry turns around so fast, he may have gotten whiplash. “Yeah, fine. Why?”

“I don’t know. You just seem off lately, is all,” Niall says shrugging, but Harry can hear the concern in his voice.

“I’m fine,” Harry insists, turning back towards his closet. He decides to go with what he always wears, a pair of black ripped skinny jeans and his favorite Rolling Stones t-shirt. He leaves his hair down, curling at his shoulders. He thought briefly about putting it up because he knows he will get hot in the venue, but he also knows that Louis like his hair down. Despite everything, he wants to please Louis. He wants to make this night great for him. He wants to forget about everything that has been happening the past week and close the distance between them.

“Wanted to let you know that I am going over to Ash and Cal’s to write tonight. Liam will be there, too. I will be home late or not at all, you know, if you just so happen to want to bring a certain boy home with you.” Niall winks obnoxiously, prompting Harry to smile. His smile is quickly replaced by a frown because he doesn’t know if he will bring Louis back here with him. He doesn’t _know_ anything right now, and it’s that thought that is driving him mental.

“Okay, thanks for the info,” Harry says, forcing a laugh as he changes his shirt. Niall doesn’t even bother averting his eyes, used to Harry’s nakedness now after living with him for over a year. He puts on his Converse, then grabs his keys, wallet, and charged cell phone, leaving the apartment. He decides to walk to Louis’ house, knowing they would probably drink at the concert. He already plans on taking an Uber. The walk doesn't take long and the fresh air helps to clear his head, cleansing him. When he walks up to the building, he sees Liam exiting, smiling and waving at him.

“Heading over to Cal and Ash’s?” Harry asks, walking up to the other man.

“Yeah. Lou told me to fuck off.” Liam chuckles, but Harry’s heart skips a beat. If they were just going out to eat, why would he tell Liam to leave? He doesn’t have much time to ponder this because Liam is saying something.

“What?” Harry asks, somewhat embarrassed that he isn’t paying attention.

“Oh. I just said that I think Louis is really excited for tonight. Don’t let him fool you with his bullshit,” Liam repeats, shaking his head.

“I won’t. I think I kind of know his antics by now,” Harry says, laughing when Liam nods his head. “I’m really excited, too. I have been wanting to go forever. It’s a small venue, since they aren’t that well known, so we should be able to get a good view of the stage.”

“Hey, listen,” Liam starts seriously, placing a hand on Harry’s bicep. Harry drops his hands immediately and makes eye contact with the other man. “I know Lou has been weird lately. Please don’t let that stop you from having fun. Keep pushing him. Maybe not a lot, but he needs you. You guys are good together; he just needs to realize it.”

Liam’s sentence shocks Harry to his core. He has no idea that Liam even knows what was going on, and he kind of believes that Louis is blind to his friend’s observation skills as well. He just nods dumbly because he is at a loss for words.

“Good. Have fun tonight.” Liam smiles then waves, and starts walking towards his car. Harry waves a little too late, so it is at his back. He closes his mouth, once he realizes it was hanging open, then makes his way towards the building, quickly finding Louis’ apartment. He knocks on the door, and waits for a few minutes, hearing Louis yell ‘just a minute’, a few curse words, then finally Louis pulls open the door, smiling and slightly out of breath.

“Everything okay?” Harry smirks, raising one eyebrow and suppressing an actual smile.

“Yeah. Sorry, I was just trying to get things ready. Umm… come in,” Louis says, stepping out the way of the doorway. As soon as Harry steps over the threshold, he is hit with something that smells delicious. Louis must have ordered takeout for them, or something. His mouth immediately begins watering. He hasn’t eaten properly since last weekend, always feeling too sick to stomach more than a few bites.

“What smells so good?” Harry asks, looking around. On the small kitchen table, two plates are sat each with a portion of something that smells divine.

“Um… well I kind of,” Louis starts looking down and rubbing the back of his neck, “Cooked us some dinner.”

“Really?” Harry doesn’t mean to sound and look so surprised, but he is. He is shocked. He can feel his eyebrows raise into his hairline and his lips forming a small ‘o’.

“Don’t look so surprised, Harold. I can cook, if the occasion calls for it,” Louis remarks, looking slightly offended.

“I’m sorry. I just didn’t realize the occasion called for it,” Harry says with a smirk.

“Well, it does,” Louis replies with a small smile, finally looking Harry in the eye.

“What is it?” Harry asks, going to the table and examining the plate. Louis also sat a glass of wine down beside it with flowers and a candle in the middle. It all looks very romantic, and Harry kind of wants to cheer.

“Go ahead, have a seat,” Louis responds, pulling out his chair for him. Harry sits down, and Louis takes chair opposite. “It’s not really all that fancy or anything. It is just chicken, stuffed with mozzarella cheese, wrapped in Parma ham, with a side of homemade mashed potatoes.”

Louis is blushing. Full on blushing. His cheeks and chest are red, and he isn’t making eye contact. It is fucking adorable. Harry nods at the words, knowing Louis is still looking at him from under his absurdly long eyelashes. He picks up his fork and knife, beginning to cut into the chicken. He can visibly see Louis holding his breath, not grabbing his own silverware or moving. He really cares what Harry thinks of this.

“If it’s shit, please don’t tell me. Just pretend you like it,” Louis says, breaking the silence.

Harry starts laughing, dropping his fork on the plate as he feels the tension somewhat leave the room. “I don’t think it’s going to be shit, Lou, if the smell is anything to go by,” he assures, smiling at Louis. The other man returns his smile, albeit a lot smaller. Harry then picks up his discarded fork and brings the bite to his mouth, placing it on his tongue. It’s good. Really good. He is kind of shocked. It’s not that he thought he was going to dislike it; he just didn’t think it would be this flavorful.

“So?” Louis asks, still not eating.

“This is really good, Lou!” Harry exclaims, eating a bite of mashed potatoes next. “You have to give me the recipe. I’m gonna have to make it for my Mom.”

Louis’ smile is brighter than the sun, it literally lights up his entire face. Harry thinks, for a moment, he could just live off it. Just spend all day basking in Louis’ smile. He certainly wouldn’t need any vitamin D. “Really? You’re not just saying that to be nice?” Louis asks noticeably relaxing and starting to cut of his own bite.

“Nope. It’s delicious. The mashed potatoes are so good.”

“Thank you,” Louis says shyly, finally taking his own bite. “I actually did a little trick of my mom’s. I added sour cream and cream cheese.”

Harry nods his head in response, not wanting to talk with his mouth full but also not wanting to stop eating. He finally gives up on the former, and he and Louis talk freely throughout dinner, laughing and joking. It almost feels like it did a month ago, before all the uncertainty. Harry loses himself in it. He always feels that way around Louis though. Losing himself in his eyes, his laugh, or just the moment itself. Louis has even gotten back to flirting with him, warming Harry’s heart and skin with it. He almost forgets they are going to a concert and is shocked when he looks at the time. Only half an hour until the gate opens. Louis must be thinking the same thing, because he stands up and begins cleaning up the table, with Harry insisting on helping him.

“Thanks for cooking me dinner, Lou, it was really great. Honestly,” Harry says, slightly pinning Louis against the counter. He really wants to kiss him, and a month ago, he probably would have without thought, but it’s been almost a week since they kissed, so he hesitates.

“You’re welcome, Haz. Glad you liked it,” Louis says, then to Harry’s surprise, he pushes up on his tip toes and lays a soft kiss on Harry’s lip. It is gone almost before it started, and Harry has to tell himself that it was real. That it actually happened. He feels like he has been telling himself that a lot lately when it comes to Louis. The whole thing almost feeling like a fevered dream instead of real life events. The summer heat getting to him.

Harry wants to kiss him again, but instead, he follows him into the living room where they both put their shoes on. Louis pats his pockets, making sure he has everything then smiles at Harry. Harry can’t help but smile back because Louis is just so fucking cute sometimes it hurts.

“I already called us an Uber. I know we may drink tonight, so I didn’t wanna take any chances,” Harry says. With Louis’ nod in acknowledgement, they are out of the door.

 

__________

  


Just like Louis expected, the venue is full of hipsters, but Harry looks like he is already having a great time. They make their way through the merchandise line where Harry purchases a T-shirt. He wants to buy Louis something, but Louis tells him no. He isn’t really much into the bands, so he doesn’t see the point. Louis goes and buys them beer, while Harry waits in line for the restroom, Louis gives him shit for not going before he left the house.

“There you are!” Louis exclaims as Harry makes his way towards him, politely saying ‘excuse me’ to every person he is trying to get past in the crowd. Louis rolls his eyes because he probably would have just told them to fucking move.

“Yup, got the beer,” Louis says, handing Harry one. They start making their way towards the stage, not many people gathered around yet, since they were early. More people will probably start to show up when the headliner’s set is about to begin. They listen to the other two bands, Harry seeming to know at least some of their songs, and drank as the night goes on. Louis has to admit, he is having fun. Most of the fun comes from seeing how happy Harry is. He feels like he’s got his own personal concert every time Harry leans down and sings a part of the song in his ear, giving him goosebumps. The beer is helping, he is on his 4th one, not including the wine they had with dinner. He is probably going to stop soon, wanting both he and Harry to sober up before they went home.

Harry cheers loudly when Arctic Rainbow comes on the stage, prompting Louis to smile. Harry positions himself behind Louis, swaying his hips and singing along. Louis is feeling tipsy and happy, so he finds himself grinding his ass on Harry’s crotch, feeling Harry’s hard on through the material. When Harry grips his hip, he smirks innocently at him. He doesn’t know why, but he wants to tease him. He has missed him this week, even though it is his own fault for trying to distance himself.

When the band starts playing a particularly sexy song, Harry begins grinding back, fingers digging into Louis’ hip. His deep gravelly voice is singing the filthy lyrics into Louis’ ear, causing his entire body to shiver with want. Louis can feel his dick hardening in his pants, which is bad, since they are in a crowd of people. The sun is long gone, so under the cover of the night, Louis can’t seem to care, wanting nothing more than to keep grinding his ass on Harry’s erection, making Harry growl in his ear. He wonders briefly if this is what it feels like for Harry when he teases Louis. If it is, it’s no wonder why he likes it so much. He feels powerful. It’s enticing.

When they begin playing a love ballad, Harry slows Louis’ movements down by placing one hand on either hip, the touch burning Louis through the fabric of his jeans. Now Louis is doing a slow grind, purposefully pressing Harry’s dick between his cheeks, the layer of their jeans the only barrier. Harry starts kissing down his neck, pausing to sing certain words in his ear. Louis doesn’t register the words though, too drunk on Harry and turned on by what he is doing to actually listen. He turns his head to the side to capture Harry’s lips in a heated kiss, not wanting the night to end, even though the concert is about to. They continue kissing throughout the last song and the encore, too engrossed in each other to pay attention to the fact that the venue was starting to get empty.

“Wanna go to my place?” Harry asks, between kisses.

Louis looks around to see that people have started to leave. He then focuses back on Harry’s question. Did he want to go to his place? He does. He really, really does, but he isn’t sure it is a good idea. The look in Harry’s eyes has him agreeing though, Gods help him. Harry takes his hand and begins leading them to where their Uber driver is now parked. Louis giggles when they get in the back, and Harry begins kissing him hungrily. They continue to make out, barely pausing for air as the driver takes them to Harry’s place.

“Don’t worry, bro, I’ll give you a good tip,” Harry says, patting the dude on the shoulder. He is taking too long, so Louis pulls him by the hand until he is forced out of the vehicle. They don’t even make it to the entrance before Louis can’t stand it anymore. He pushes Harry against the wall, raises up on his tip toes and kisses him again. He feels Harry’s hands snake down his body to grab his ass, gripping it hard and sending a thrilling shock through Louis’ system.

“Come on, before we are arrested for public indecency,” Harry says, gripping Louis’ ass again and lifting him up. Louis automatically wraps his legs around Harry’s waist, not protesting as Harry carries him inside. He just continues to kiss and bite Harry’s neck, anywhere he can reach, honestly. He is so turned on; he can’t think straight - pun intended. All he can think about is the fact that Harry taste like heaven. He doesn’t even notice that Harry has opened the door or walked them through his apartment. He does notice when Harry lays him down on his soft bed carefully, like he is made of the most precious glass.

Now that they are in the comforts of a bedroom, Louis wastes no time in pulling Harry’s shirt from body, running his fingers all over the warm skin, tracing the tattoos with his tongue. When Harry moans, he can feel it under his tongue, spurring him on even more. He pauses for Harry to remove his own shirt, Louis immediately pushing their torsos together, needing skin-on-skin contact as he works a mark into Harry’s neck. He registers briefly that Harry is laying between his legs, on top of him.

He blindly fumbles with the button on Harry’s jeans, not wanting to release his mouth from Harry’s skin. Harry helps him, and before he knows it, they are both naked. He starts to grind his dick on Harry, needing friction. He whimpers when Harry pulls away, actually whimpers. He feels completely sober now, but really fucking horny. He just wants Harry. Has wanted him all week.

Harry begins kissing him gently, down his torso. He kisses the tattoos on his chest, tracing them with one long finger. “You are so beautiful,” he murmurs, almost to himself. Louis blushes because Harry may be the only person in the world to have ever actually called him beautiful. Harry rubs and kisses all over his chest, over his small tummy, the part of his body he hates. He goes to cover it and stop Harry from kissing it, but Harry pulls his arms away.

“Stop. You're breathtaking. Everything about you is breathtaking.” Harry's eyes are so honest with the statement, it hurts Louis’ chest. Harry then kisses his stomach again, making his way down to his belly button, kissing the soft skin there, nuzzling his happy trail. He then kisses his hips, finally placing soft chaste kisses on the tip of Louis’ dick and down his shaft, causing it to twitch under his lips.

“So gorgeous for me,” Harry murmurs, picking up one of Louis’ legs and kissing from his inner ankle bone all the way up to his balls, nuzzling them then working his way down. Louis is squirming under the attention. He feels like he is burning alive, but doesn't halt Harry’s actions.

“Do you trust me?” Harry asks, looking into his eyes. Louis nods, not trusting his voice at the moment, suddenly feeling emotional. “Okay, love, get on your hands and knees.”

Louis freezes, a rush of fear going through him. Does Harry want him to bottom? He can’t? The most he has had up there is his own finger. That would definitely make him gay. Harry must be able to read the unease on his face because he is shushing him. “It’s okay, baby. We aren’t going to do anything you are uncomfortable with. I promise,” Harry soothes, running a hand up and down Louis’ arm. Louis wants to. With a nod, he turns over and gets on his hands and knees. He feels really exposed to Harry, and it kind of makes him want to cry, but not in a bad way.

Harry begins by kissing and licking his neck, occasionally nibbling the soft skin. He then kisses each vertebrae down his spine, Harry’s curls tickling him and making him shiver. After Harry has sufficiently kissed, rubbed, or licked every inch of his back, he kisses the very top of Louis’ crack, causing him to freeze. His senses are on fire, perfectly attuned to Harry’s every move, even though he can’t see him at all. Harry places small, feather light kisses on his butt cheeks, making Louis feel weird with the attention there.

“Okay, if you’re uncomfortable with anything, just tell me to stop, and I will stop, no questions asked. I promise.” He hears Harry’s deep voice behind him, breaking into his daze and calming his nerves in a way that nobody else could.

He feels Harry shuffle on the bed behind him, but doesn’t dare look back, almost not wanting to know what Harry is about to do. He feels Harry’s large palms on both of his cheeks, spreading them, making him shiver at the exposure. He feels Harry kiss both cheeks again, this time the kisses are wet and hot, heating the skin even more. He hisses out a breath in shock when he feels something wet on his hole. What the fuck? It didn’t feel like a finger. He chances a glance back and _oh_. That’s because it wasn’t a finger. Harry’s head is between his cheeks, his long ringed fingers gripping his cheeks, still holding him open. He smirks at Louis then carefully pushes out his tongue, licking another heated strip over Louis’ hole.

Louis has to physically stop himself from pulling away, the sensation almost unbearable. It feels so good that he doesn’t want it to stop, but at the same time he does want it to stop, because it’s too much. He can’t believe he is letting Harry do this, but he can’t find it in him to tell him to stop because it feels so _good_. He looks away, and drops his head between his shoulders moaning in abandon as Harry circles his rim with his pointed tongue, wetting the area.

 

__________

  


Louis looks so beautiful like this, laid out before him exposed in the best possible way. Harry places a kiss on his puckered hole, then sucks on the skin, pulling a deep moan from Louis, going straight to his own cock. Louis is tight, probably from nerves, but is slowly starting to relax, so Harry points his tongue and begins tracing around his rim, biting and kissing as he goes, getting it as wet as possible. He slowly pushes his tongue past the ring of muscle, then hears Louis scream into the pillow. He glances up to make sure Louis is okay. The other man is panting heavily, with his face buried in the pillow. Harry can’t see his face, but his body is tense. Almost like he is on edge.

Harry goes back to the task at hand, taking Louis apart with his tongue. He has never seen him react like this. It’s so beautiful Harry wishes he could take a picture and commit it to memory. Louis is flushed and breathing hard, screaming almost every time Harry swipes a tongue over his hole. Harry decides to push just a little bit further. He looks up to make sure Louis is still alive. When he sees that he is, in fact, still breathing, Harry lick a fat, hot strip all the way up his crack, prompting Louis to moan in bliss. He circles his tongue around the rim, then carefully slides the tip of his index finger inside. It goes easily, using his own spit for lube and the fact that Louis is relaxed.

He is not even sure if Louis knows he has a finger in his ass, but he continues to moan. Harry crooks his fingers and knows that he has found Louis’ spot when he screams into the pillow. Harry glances up to see there is a wet spot on the pillow under Louis face. He can’t see it, so Harry isn’t sure if it’s from slobber or tears, but he keeps going, knowing Louis is close from the way his entire body is twitching. He continues rubbing against Louis spot and licking around his finger, hearing Louis scream and moan. When Louis starts grinding his ass on Harry’s tongue and finger, Harry decides to reach around with his free hand and begins stroking Louis’ impossibly hard cock. That must be all he needs, because Louis screams his name, jet after jet of hot come spurting all over his hand and comforter. He works Louis through it, not removing his finger.

“Fuck me, Haz.” He hears Louis demand, and his head shoots up so fast, he thinks he may have hurt his neck. It has to be his imagination. Maybe he is just dreaming.  Louis couldn’t have just asked him to fuck him, could he?

“What?” Harry asks, slowly pulling his finger out.

“I said that I want you to fuck me,” Louis repeats, finally turning his face on the pillow to meet Harry’s gaze. Louis’ eyes are wet with tears, and he is physically shaking. He looks so fucking beautiful, it hurts Harry to keep looking at him, but just like the sun, he can’t look away. Harry isn’t sure what he should do. His cock is telling him to do as Louis asks and fuck him, but his mind is telling him to be sure.

“A-are you s-sure?” Harry stutters out, needing to know.

“Yes. Please. I need you inside me. I need to feel…” Louis trails off, a single tear rolling down his cheek. He doesn’t know what is wrong with Louis, but his heart breaks just a tiny bit for the man.

“Lou, that was the first time you even had a finger in your ass,” Harry starts but stop when Louis starts furiously shaking his head.

“No. Not the first time. I stuck my finger up my ass one day when I was masturbating to thoughts of you after the lake,” Louis says quickly.

“Oh.” Harry’s brows shoot to his forehead while his cock twitches in interest, images of Louis masturbating while humping his own finger filtering through his mind.

“Please, Harry. Please. I n-need- I need you,” Louis stutters out, looking into Harry’s eyes earnestly. Harry almost feels like he is looking into Louis’ soul. When another tear tracks down Louis’ cheek, Harry springs into action. He takes Louis’ body, and flips him over, wanting to see every moment of this.

“Baby, don’t cry. I’m here. I’ve got you. I’m gonna take care of you. It’s okay,” Harry soothes, kissing Louis’ cheeks and nose. Louis just nods, biting his lip. Harry wants to cry, but doesn’t. Instead he grabs the lube and a condom from the bedside table.

 

__________

  


Louis doesn’t know why he feels that if Harry doesn’t get inside of him soon, he may die. He doesn't know why he feels as though his emotions are choking him.  He doesn’t know why he is crying or an emotional mess. All he knows is that he needs Harry like he needs air. He needs to feel something other than this distant cold that has been settling in his heart, freezing him. Harry makes him feel fire. Harry can keep him warm. Harry who, just a minute ago, made him come apart on his tongue, and now he wants nothing more than to come on his dick. Those are the reasons why Louis needs Harry inside of him. The reasons why he begged just moments ago. He doesn’t want to think about the consequences. Fuck thinking. He just needs to feel, even if it’s for just one more night.

He watches Harry with wide eyes as he slicks up his fingers with lube. He opens his legs for him, feeling oddly vulnerable despite the fact that he was just grinding his ass on Harry’s face and finger. This just feels more intimate somehow. He feels Harry’s slicked up finger circle his already somewhat loosened hole. He hisses in a breath when Harry pushes one finger in all the way down to the last knuckle. When Harry’s finger touches his prostate, it almost hurts from being over-sensitive, but he can feel his dick twitch, starting to miraculously get hard again, despite the fact that he just came his brains out. After a few moments, he nods at Harry, telling him to add another finger.

“You sure?” Harry asks, concern marring his beautiful features.

“Yes. I’m sure.” Louis whispers like a secret. Harry looks surprised by the finality in put in the soft spoken words, but then his eyes darken. He doesn’t say anything, but Louis can feel it when he slowly, ever so slowly, adds a second long finger.  The stretch hurts and burns, his eyes sting, but Harry soothes him. His deep voice like a balm for his senses. Harry reaches one hand and begins slowly stroking his now semi hard dick. When the burn goes away, it starts to feel good again. He can feel Harry’ stretching him out, getting him ready.

Harry lays on top of him and begins kissing him sweetly. The moment feels so intimate, Louis wants to cry again. He feels it when Harry adds a third finger, but is too wrapped up in Harry’s kiss to register anything. When the pressure becomes too much, Louis starts fucking himself on Harry’s fingers, moaning into his ear and pulling his hair. It all just feels like so much, yet not enough. He needs more. He needs more of Harry.

“Ready?” Harry asks, removing his fingers and wiping them on the bedspread. Louis just nods, for once in his life, he doesn’t trust his own voice. Harry smiles down at him, then sits up on his haunches. “Okay, baby, it is going to feel weird for a little while. I will stop when you tell me to, and I won’t move until you tell me to, okay?”

Louis nods his answer again, the anticipation killing him. When he feels the head of Harry’s dick against his rim, he hisses out a breath, arching into it. Harry chuckles then slowly starts pushing inside. Harry is right. It fucking hurts, and it feels really weird, like he’s going to shit or something, but he grits his teeth, knowing that the pain would soon ease and the weird feeling would go away. About halfway in, Harry stops when Louis hisses out another breath, blinking away the tears forming in his eyes, not from the pain though.

“It’s fine. Keep going.” Louis hears himself say. Harry nods and keeps pushing in. When he finally bottoms out, it’s like an out of body experience. All he can feel is Harry all around him and _inside_ of him. He can actually feel Harry’s dick pulsing. Harry is gritting his teeth, probably from the need to move, but he is a still as a statue, allowing Louis time to adjust to his length. After a moment, the pain starts to subside. Louis wiggles his hips to experiment and a spark of electricity goes through him and straight to his dick. A low growl is released from Harry’s throat at the movement, green eyes almost completely black.

“Move, Harry. Fuck, move,” Louis moans, and when Harry does, it’s like he is seeing the world in color for the first time. He starts slow at first, just moving his hips in circular motions, trying to give Louis more time to adjust, and it feels so fucking good. He feels so full, he thinks he may die. He is gripping Harry’s biceps hard, but Harry doesn’t seem to mind. Harry brings one large hand up to cup Louis’ cheek, staring deeply into Louis eyes, pushing his sweaty hair from his forehead. He feels cherished when Harry looks at him so tenderly. “Kiss me,” He moans out when Harry gives a small thrust, pressing against Louis prostate.

Harry obliges, kissing him softly and building a gentle rhythm. Everything about Harry right now is gentle, like he doesn’t want to hurt Louis. He is murmuring words of praise into his ear between kisses... _You’re so beautiful like this. You make me so happy. I am so proud of you. You’re doing so well. You are lovely. You’re taking it so well. You are everything. I would damn the world for you. You’re my favorite person._ Harry’s whispered sentiments makes Louis’ eyes sting with unshed tears. His whole body is covering Louis’, cocooning him in warmth and emotion, fighting off the cold that seemed to have taken over Louis’ heart and soul. His senses are overloaded with Harry. His body is covered in Harry’s scent, he feels Harry’s hands all over his body, on his face, in his hair. He grips Harry, one hand on his bare back, the other tangled in his dark curls, because he needs to feel anchored to the very earth. Harry is his anchor. The gentleness of the moment is almost too much because he doesn’t feel like he deserves his concern.

“You feel so good, Harry. You make me feel…” Louis sentences trails off, or maybe that is just the end of it. Harry makes him feel. He no longer feels so far away, like he is floating. He is in the moment. He is grounded and whole. He feels a tear roll down his cheek, but Harry kisses it away. It’s still not enough.

“Please, Harry. Harder. I need more. I need you,” Louis begs when he feels as though he may explode with desire for Harry. His whole body is thrumming with energy. He needs to feel it. Feel this more than the emotions welling inside of him. Harry doesn’t stop kissing him, but grips his ass, almost pulling him off the mattress, and starts pounding into him hard and fast. Louis screams into Harry’s mouth.

He can feel his second orgasm of the night quickly approaching. His own dick is pressed between his and Harry’s stomachs, creating a delicious friction. He feels so full and so much, all he can do is scream and hold on. He is clutching Harry like a lifeline as he hurdles to the point of no return. He doesn’t even notice that he is crying again until he feels the wetness on his cheeks. He locks his legs around Harry’s hips, meeting his every thrust, kissing him hard. Trying to put everything he is feeling into the kiss, all of his anger, confusion, self-hatred, and maybe even love.

“Fuck, Harry. I’m gonna come,” he cries out, scratching down Harry’s back. Harry growls into his mouth, and starts jackhammering his hips so fast, Louis can’t keep up. He screams into Harry’s neck as he comes hard, his whole body tensing from his second orgasm. It is so powerful; it feels like it goes on for hours. He just clutches Harry like a lifeline, openly sobbing into his neck. He hears Harry groan in his ear, his hips stopping a few second later with his own release.

Louis collapses on the bed, naked and completely fucked out. He thinks he is still crying from the intensity of it all, but he isn’t sure. He has so many thoughts running through head, so many feelings. He has just never felt so _loved._ His entire body is numb and twitching. His limbs feel heavy, and he doesn’t think he can move. He vaguely registers Harry cleaning him up, wiping his eyes, replacing the tears with gentle kisses. Harry asking him questions, even though he isn't sure he answers.  Harry picking him up to place him under the covers. Harry turning off the lights. Then finally Harry climbing into bed with him, pulling him close to his warm body, whispering words of praise into his ear. The last thing he remembers thinking before he allows sleep to take him away is: _What have I done?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and Comments are always welcome!  
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> Twitter: @Wicked_Archer  
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	13. Hardwired

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis makes a decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a [Spotify Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/mmbrabd/playlist/3K8GDQgXDwKVDLVF6h3H1T?si=sgO-djloQzmO81_jPnYdYQ%20rel=) that will be updated weekly with the songs represented as chapter titles as well as any other songs that are featured in each chapter.

_Do you feel that hope is fading?_   
_Do you comprehend?_   
_Do you feel it terminating?_   
_In the end_   
_We’re so fucked_   
_Shit outta luck_ _  
Hardwired to self-destruct- Metallica_

The next morning, Louis wakes up in a panic. He doesn’t recognize his surroundings at first, but looking around the room he quickly comes to the conclusion that he is at Harry’s place, in his room, naked in his bed. Flashes of memories from last night play through his head. His breathing starts coming out in short ragged puffs, as he recounts the events. His own emptiness. Harry’s tenderness. His crying. Harry’s soothing. His demanding to be fucked. Harry being inside of him. The overwhelming love he felt from the other man, even though the words were never said.

What the fuck was he thinking last night? He can’t do this. He just can’t do this anymore. He can’t be what Harry wants or needs. He needs to get the fuck out of here. Out of Harry’s bed, that smells like him. Out of room where everything reminds Louis of him. Out of his life. He needs to run. It’s easier to run than face his demons. Than confronting the uncertainty. It’s easier to run than face Harry with his tenderness and understanding eyes. It is just so much easier to run.

He jumps out of bed on shaking limbs, trying to ignore the pain in his ass, a harsh reminder of what happened last night. Thoughts in his head are flashing like warning lights. Most of them are moments from last night, words that were murmured into the darkness. Some are foggy, like a dream. He wishes it was a dream, but some of it is also crystal clear. Mostly the feeling of emptiness that had hollowed out his chest and begging Harry to replace it with something _more_. Harry did, but at what cost?

He looks on the floor to locate his clothes. His eyes are dry and itchy from sleeping in his contacts, but he doesn’t think about that. All he can think about is the mistake he made. He pulls the items on with unsteady hands, his eyes stinging from possibly unshed tears or the dry contacts. He silently prays that Harry is in the bathroom, so he can sneak out and pretend this never happened. Never see Harry again. Go back to the semester and act as if the summer was just some dream.

As he creeps out of the room, he smells breakfast cooking. He closes his eyes to take some steadying breaths, willing himself not to cry. He feels so raw and open, the air touching his skin almost hurts. He has never had a moment like last night. A moment where he felt bare to someone. Like Harry could have reached inside of him and touched is very soul. Maybe he did. He doesn’t think he can face Harry. He doesn’t want to talk to him, but he can’t get to the door without going past the kitchen. He silently prays to a god that he doesn’t believe in, that he can sneak past.  No such luck.

“Lou! You’re up. I was just making us some breakfast,” Harry greets, turning to him with a smiling face. Louis watches as his expression falls, probably because of Louis’ own distraught appearance. Everything about the scene is familiar. Harry is wearing nothing but his underwear and an apron. Cooked pancakes lay in neat piles beside the stove, butter and syrup already laid out. Two steaming cups of coffee lay beside the plates, with creamer and sugar sat out. It is all so _domestic_. Bile rises up in Louis throat as he realizes that this is what people in a relationship do. They sleep with each other, share a bed, eat breakfast the next morning, drink coffee, and plan their day. Plan their life. Louis breaks.

He can’t breathe. Everything is too much. He can’t think. The room feels too small, and he feels too lost. Harry is looking at him with an expression that Louis can’t read. All he can think about is needing to get out. He is so confused. Confused about everything, but mostly confused about himself. He can feel his body start to shake harder, tears building up in his eyes, but he refuses to cry. Not again. Not about this. He has come to a decision.

“Everything alright?” Harry asks tentatively, deep voice making Louis flinch. Louis’ head snaps up to meet his gaze, Harry’s sadness boring into him. Louis’ heart breaks, but he has to do this. For his own sanity and for Harry.

“No,” Louis says honestly, watching confusion mare Harry’s beautiful face. “I can’t do this.”

“What do you mean? Can’t do what? Lou, you’re really worrying me,” Harry questions, his voice cracking with emotion. The nickname slaps Louis like a firm hand. He actually winces at the familiarity.

“This!” Louis practically shouts waving his hand between them. He has to make him comprehend. “You deserve more. You deserve _better_ ! And I can’t give you that. I can’t _be_ that for you. I can’t be your fucking boyfriend because I’m not gay. I am not what you need!”

“What? Where is all of this coming from?” Harry asks. Louis can see tears building in his green eyes. Louis’ heart breaks just a little more, if possible. The emptiness from the past week has returned tenfold. He feels like his heart is a void. He kind of just feels nothing, and it’s welcome. It will make this easier.

“I have been thinking it for weeks,” Louis admits, not looking away. He needs Harry to understand. He needs him to know that he is doing this for the best.

“P-please, Louis, d-don't do this. T-think about it,” Harry pleads, eyes shiny with unshed tears.

“I have thought about it,” Louis answers, trying to put a finality in his tone. Seeing Harry begging like this and still refusing is one the hardest things he has ever had to do. Everything hurts. It's like Louis’ whole body is protesting leaving Harry and not crying, so it's rebelling against him.

“No, Louis! No! I'm not letting you do this!” Harry yells, finally raising his voice just a bit, shaking his head viciously, making his curls fan out around him. “I'm not going to let you give up on me. On us!” A tear falls with Harry last word, but he furiously wipes away. Louis’ resolve almost crumbles seeing Harry look so sad and broken. Louis did that, but he is sure it is better this way. He will only be more sad and broken if they continue this charade, so he stands firm in his decision. It's better this way.

“Well, it's not your choice. It's mine,” Louis tells him, watching as a look of disbelief takes over Harry's features . He can't believe he said that to Harry, either, but it's done. Louis has to make him understand, so he will say whatever necessary, even if he doesn't believe it himself. His whole body is shaking now. He doesn't even know how his legs are holding him up, but he still stands firm, even though he wants to collapse into a ball on the floor and cry.

“Let’s talk about it,” Harry begs, his tears flowing freely now. Louis wants to grab him and wipe them away. Apologize even, but he doesn’t. He can’t. Instead he stills himself. Letting himself go distant like he has always been so good at doing. He removes himself from everything. He feels like he is an outsider looking in as he prepares himself for what he is about to say next. The final blow. The way to get him to realize this isn’t what Harry wants. This isn’t what Harry needs.

“I don’t want to talk about it. I want my life to go back to normal! I’ve made up my mind. This was fun and all. You were a great experiment and summer fling, but the summer is over. This is over,” Louis tell Harry the coldness in his tone shocking even himself. Somehow his voice doesn’t break, despite the shape his heart is in. He turns his back on Harry, hearing him let out a guttural sob, but he doesn’t look back. He can’t. If he does, he will regret it. If he does, he may pick Harry up and try to put the broken pieces of himself and Harry back together. He and Harry don’t belong together.

Instead, with his resolve still in place, he grabs the door handle, it’s cold on his skin, but he is so numb at this point he barely feels it. He opens the door, then with a resounding slam of finality, he walks out, hoping to never see Harry again. He doesn’t cry as he stumbles his way outside, into the light of the day. The light of the day that should have never seen his and Harry’s relationship, not that he is willing to label it that. He should have never taken it out of the darkness of the night where it belonged. Fevered summer nights where bad decisions were made, but never continued.

 

__________

  


It has been one day since Louis told Harry that what they had was over. It still feels like a bad dream. A nightmare that he can’t seem to shake himself from. He hasn’t heard from Louis since that fateful morning, and he still doesn’t know exactly what happened. Everything was a blur, but Louis’ harsh words rang out in his mind, clear as a bell. Niall found him on the floor of the kitchen, sobbing. He doesn’t really remember how Niall got him to his bedroom, but he knows that he ended up curled under his covers on a pillow that smelled so much like Louis, it physically hurt him. Niall didn’t question him though, just held him close as he cried, petting his hair and telling him that everything was going to be okay. That’s the thing though, it isn’t going to be okay. It feels like nothing is going to be okay ever again. Louis’ detached words keep repeating over and over in his head, driving him mad.

_I can’t be your fucking boyfriend because I’m not gay. I am not what you need._

Finally, Niall had given up trying to talk to him, but didn’t leave the apartment. Harry cried himself to sleep only to be woken up by Niall hours later with some water and crackers. Harry couldn’t eat though, but he did drink the water, knowing he was probably dehydrated. It still turned over in his stomach, making him want to vomit. Now he is lying in bed, having slept fretfully, staring at the ceiling trying to piece together the broken shards of his life. He wants to feel numb to all of this pain, but he doesn’t. Breathing hurts. Thinking hurts. Blinking hurts. Everything hurts.

 _You deserve more. You deserve_ _better._

He just doesn’t know what _happened_. Everything seemed fine leading up to that morning. They had an amazing time at the concert. After coming back to his place, they made love. He pauses at that phrase, but ultimately comes to the conclusion that making love is what had occurred. Harry has had sex before, but this time was different. This time was raw and passionate. He knows it’s cheesy, but time stood still. Louis was so open and bare for him, it almost hurt to see. He felt privileged, truly honored, to have witnessed Louis like that. He isn’t sure anyone else ever has.

_I want my life to go back to normal._

He will never, for as long as he lives on this earth, forget the look on Louis’ face when he came into the kitchen. He looked panicked, almost like a caged animal. He was shaking and his eyes were wild and watering. His breathing was uneven and ragged. He just looked so lost and broken, even more so than the night of their almost kiss. Fuck, that seems like a lifetime ago now. Everything has changed. He has changed. He has changed because of Louis.

_I’ve made up my mind. This was fun and all. You were great experiment and summer fling, but the summer is over._

Words from yesterday morning, which also seems like weeks ago, keep playing in Harry's head like a broken record. The entire scene is crystal clear in his mind, every heartbreaking moment.  Harry had wanted to reach out to him, to comfort him. Perhaps he should have, maybe he wouldn’t be this miserable. He wouldn’t feel this hollow. He just wants to escape from the pain, but he doesn’t think he ever will. He doesn’t think he will ever feel like himself again. He lost himself when Louis walked out of that door. He sighs when he hears a knock on his own bedroom door, but doesn’t answer, a single tear rolls out of the corner of his eye and into his curls that are fanned out across the pillow. The very same pillow Louis had slept on two nights ago. He honestly doesn’t know how he is still crying. He didn’t think he would have any tears left.

_This is over._

“Haz,” Niall says softly, peeking his head through the door. It stops Harry from continuing to relive the worst day of his life. Niall’s brows draw in worry when he takes in his friend’s appearance. Harry is sure he looks like shit. He hasn’t showered in over 24 hours. He probably has tears and snot drying on his face, and his curls are in tangles. He would be worried about himself too, if he cared. At this moment, though, he doesn’t care about himself. All he really cares about is Louis and working this out. Fixing it, because it is so broken right now. _He_ is so broken right now.

“Are you ready to talk about whatever happened with Louis?” Niall asks. Just hearing his name has Harry crying all over again. He still can’t believe it happened. Isn’t denial one of the stages of grief? If so, he isn’t sure he will ever leave this stage. Denial is safe. Denial makes him feel a bit better.

“No,” Harry answers, his voice hoarse from disuse and his sobs.

“Come on. It may make you feel better,” Niall tries, sitting down by Harry’s feet and patting his knee over the sheet.

“He told me it is over,” Harry finally answers, not looking a Niall as tears stream down his cheeks.

“Oh, Harry.”

“Save the ‘told you so’ talk for another time, Niall. I can’t deal with that right now,” Harry chokes out, still not looking at his friend.

“I wasn’t going to say that, Haz. I honestly thought Louis fell in love with you too,” Niall replies softly. Harry finally looks at him. Niall’s eyes are watery, his expression soft with concern, but there is an honesty there.

“Yeah, well I guess we were both wrong.” Harry chuckles humorously, pushing his hands over his face. It feels like the ‘Andrew situation’ all over again, but he wasn’t in this deep with Andrew. Sure he had some feelings, but they were nowhere near what he feels for Louis. What he thought Louis felt for him. But just like Andrew, Louis left him to be ‘normal’. What does that even mean? Maybe Harry just isn’t good enough. Maybe he doesn’t deserve love or a relationship. He always seems to fall for guys that could never love him back. Maybe there is nothing wrong with them but something wrong with him.

“You don’t know that, Haz. You said yourself that he is confused. I don’t know how I would feel if I suddenly started having feelings for a dude. Maybe this is just his way of processing,” Niall reasons.

“I don’t know. It just felt so… final. He said he couldn’t do this anymore. He couldn’t be what I needed or my boyfriend because he isn’t gay. He said it was fun for the summer, but now that the semester is starting, he wants to go back to his normal life. I guess that doesn’t involve me,” Harry tells his friend, playing the conversation over in his head. The coldness in Louis’ voice. How Louis wouldn’t meet his eyes. He feels another tear escape, and he furiously wipes it away. He is so sick of crying over someone who clearly doesn’t give a shit about him.

“Maybe you should write,” Niall suggest after a moment of silence, letting Harry’s words seep in.

“Yeah, maybe I will. That usually helps me feel better,” Harry agrees softly. He is hopeless.

 

___________

 

Louis is numb. That is the only way to describe this feeling deep inside of him. He feels nothing. He slammed Harry’s door two days ago, and he hasn’t felt anything since. He hasn’t cried. He hasn’t screamed. He hasn’t really even talked. He came home after walking around aimlessly for hours, contemplating the life choices that led him to his painful existence. He shut the door to his bedroom and the rest of the world out. He hasn’t eaten and has barely slept. He refuses to talk to Liam or really even look at his phone, other than to call off to work claiming illness. Harry hasn’t even tried to contact him; which Louis is both grateful for an upset by.

He is currently pretending like the entire summer was a dream. The memories too fresh and painful to recount. Every single thing he enjoyed this summer involved Harry in some way, so he is just going to act like the summer never happened. He will feel better once the semester starts Monday. He is silently counting down the days, convinced that everything will just fall into place. Courses will start and erase everything the summer had brought. He knows, logically, that isn’t how it works, but he wants to convince himself, even if it just for a moment.

He tries not to replay the scene in the kitchen over and over in his head, but he can’t seem to stop it. It is all so clear, that he wonders if he had watched it on a movie instead of experiencing it. Harry was so sad. Thinking about his beautiful features looking that distraught makes Louis sick to his stomach. He did that. He did that to Harry. Harry who would never hurt anyone. He really is a terrible person. He really doesn’t deserve to breathe the same air Harry does. He hates himself more than he has ever hated anything. All of this because he can’t seem to get over his own goddamn insecurities.

“Louis, open this door!” He hears Liam yell, pounding on his door. He had locked Liam out two days ago, both literally and figuratively. He has gone to the bathroom a few times, but managed to evade his roommate every time. Liam had tried to knock on his door several times begging to be let in, but Louis just ignored him. Ignored everything really. He thinks Liam is still yelling at him through the door, but he doesn’t really hear anything other than his own blood rushing through his veins, showing him that, somehow, he is still alive. He feels like he is under water again, but this time there is ice overhead, sealing him in to his fate. He will never break through the surface, see the light of day, or breath again. He is numb.

He looks down at his hands. They are shaking again. He isn’t sure if it is from everything that happened or the lack of food. He could kill over dead right now, and he would be perfectly okay with it. At least it would stop this emptiness. His fingers are bleeding. He must have been picking at them again; he just doesn’t remember. He doesn’t feel it. He doesn’t feel anything other than self-hatred. Self-destruction.

He looks up when he hears a loud banging noise, startled for a moment out his own despair. His eyes widen when he sees Liam there, standing in a broken door way. Liam broke down his door to get to him. Liam looks worried. His eyes are sad and his brows are creased together. Louis is sure he doesn’t look much better with bleeding hands and empty eyes.

“Fuck,” Liam whispers taking in the room and Louis appearance with sad brown eyes. He rushes to Louis’ side on bed and pulls him into a hug. The hug, while warm, does nothing to thaw his frozen heart. He doesn’t even hug back. He doesn’t have the energy. He wants to cry, but he can’t seem to. He is catatonic, falling between existence and fading away.

“God, Lou. What happened?” Liam asks obviously fearing the worst. He should, right? A normal person doesn’t act this way about a summer fling. Despite Louis’ final words, Harry is more to him than a summer fling. Harry is everything. Why couldn’t he just tell him that? Instead, Louis felt the need to destroy everything he held dear. To self-destruct.

“I broke it off with Harry,” Louis finally answers Liam’s question. He doesn’t recognize his own voice. Even it sounds hollow, void of any emotions.

“What? Why?” Liam asks. Louis can hear the alarm in his tone, but he still won’t look at him. He doesn’t think he can actually face Liam. Liam knows Harry. Liam will hate him for breaking Harry’s heart. Liam should hate him for that. Louis hates himself, after all.

“Because.” Is all Louis answers. In truth, he doesn’t know the reason anymore. He thought it was for the best. He thought he couldn’t be what Harry needed, but as it turns out Harry is what he needs. Harry is what he needs to give his existence meaning, a purpose.

“Because why?” Liam asks.

“I can’t be what he needs, Li,” Louis whispers, not wanting to say it out loud again. Even though Harry isn’t anywhere near him, it feels like the words still hurt him.

“Why not?”

Fuck Liam with all of his questions. He just wants to be left alone in his own misery. “He deserves a relationship, and I can’t be his boyfriend,” Louis answers using the same reasoning he had used on Harry.

“Why not?” Liam asks again. What is he, a fucking broken record? For the first time in days, Louis starts to feel anger build up inside of him. He welcomes it because at least he doesn’t feel so fucking numb.

“Because,” Louis spits out through gritted teeth.

“That’s not good enough,” Liam says. He isn’t angry, but there is a determination to his tone.

“Because people will look at me differently!” Louis screams finally looking at Liam. Liam flinches, but doesn’t leave. Louis realizes with clarity of what he just admitted out loud. He had been thinking it all summer, since this whole ordeal started with Harry. People will look at him differently.

“No, they won’t. They won’t care.”

“Yes, Liam, they will! Even if they don’t care, which they might, they will still look at me differently. I will never be the Louis they knew before. They may not even be comfortable around me. Even if I dated Harry, then we broke up for some other reason, and I started dating girls, they will still _know_ that I have been with a guy. They will never look at me the same way again!” Louis’ voice gets louder with each word. He can feel tears stinging his eyes, but he will not cry. He refuses to cry over this. Crying will not solve it. The only thing that will is distance away from Harry and getting back into the swing of things when the semester starts on Monday.

“I don’t look at you differently,” Liam says after having a staring contest with Louis for a solid two minutes.

“Yes, you do.” Louis laces the words with venom. Liam opens his mouth to argue, but Louis cuts him off. “You have to. I’m not the Louis I was at the beginning of summer.”

“Of course you’re not.” Liam scoffs, looking at Louis as if he has gone insane, maybe he has. “I’m not the same person I was at the beginning of summer either. We all change, Louis. Stop being so self-absorbed that you believe that you are different. You’re not. So what if you fell in love with a dude? Would it be any different if I fell in love with a chick?”

Louis freezes at the mention of love. Does he love Harry? He certainly wouldn’t be feeling this way over a summer fling, no matter how good it was. He has never felt this way before in his life. Maybe he did (does?) love Harry. Louis feels his rage dissipate, leaving him numb again. Liam is right. Everyone changes all the time. Most people just accept that change and move on, or get stuck in the past. Which is it going to be for him? He knows he will never ever be the same. Is that okay though? Can he live with never being the same again after Harry? Will he have to?

“I didn’t fall in love with him.”

“Oh please, Louis. Stop lying to me and more importantly, stop lying to yourself.” Liam rolls his dark eyes.

“Well it doesn’t matter because I broke it off,” Louis says, stubbornly. He starts picking his cuticles again, maybe he will actually feel it this time.

“Lou, you do realize that you have been dating him all summer, right? So you hadn't put a label on it, but he has been your boyfriend. You spent the summer with him. Deny it all you want, but he was your boyfriend. Did it really feel all that different?” Liam argues after a beat of silence, his eyes soft again.

Is Liam right? Has Harry been his boyfriend for a while now, label or not? Now that he thinks about it, it really didn't feel all that differently from dating a girl or whatever. It even felt more real, somehow, than all of the relationships he has had before. Louis’ head is starting to hurt from this discussion. He just wants go curl up in his covers and go back to hiding from the world. Hiding from his demons. Liam just looks at him sadly, like he wants to say something, but bites his tongue.

 

__________

  


When will he get to the acceptance part in the stages of grief? Harry thinks sadly sitting on the couch staring at the blank TV screen. He had every intention of coming in here and drowning his sorrows in Netflix, but he doesn’t have the energy. It is day four, and Harry still isn’t sure he has gotten past the denial stage yet. He still sometimes looks down at his phone expecting a stupid text from Louis. He briefly debates about opening a bottle of wine, but refrains. He knows alcohol isn’t the answer, although it is tempting.

His eyes feel dry and itchy despite all the tears. Some moments were better than others. Every now and again he would see or smell something that would remind him of Louis and start crying all over again. It is pathetic, really. When will the numbness kick in? Is it supposed to hurt this bad? Is Louis hurting this bad? He hates all of the endless questions without any answers. It seems hopeless which only makes Harry want to cry all over again.

If he closes his eyes, he can almost feel Louis all around him. He can see the sparkle in his blue eyes. Feel the flutter of his eyelashes on his chest. Smell his scent. Hear his raspy voice, or his high pitched laugh when he finds something particularly amusing. Hear his soft moans or words whispered like prayers deep into the night when he thought Harry wasn’t listening. The taste of his bare skin, the sheen of sweat coating his body in their moments of passion. He can _feel_ his small hands touching him. The blunt nails that left scratches down his back and sharp teeth that bit into his neck, leaving a mark. Now those marks are fading, just like his memories with Louis. A part of a distant past. Soon, he will have nothing left to show for the love he felt. Nothing left in him.  

He tells himself not to think about Louis, but he can't help but wonder what the other man is doing. Is he at home crying like Harry? Does he regret anything? Is he banging some chick and pretending he never slept with a man? That thought makes Harry sick to his stomach. He may have vomited if he had actually eaten anything that day. He pushes the image if Louis kissing a girl out of his head, but it keeps coming back, dancing in front of his eyelids like some kind of never ending GIF. One that you can't exit and will forever keep popping up in your day to day life.

“I come bearing news!” Niall shouts as soon as he opens the door to their apartment. It startles Harry out of his thoughts, and thankfully the image of Louis with someone else goes away, for the time being at least. Small favors, he thinks bitterly as he looks at his friend. Niall had gone to hang out with Cal and Ash claiming that Harry was bumming him out. Harry didn’t argue. Their next gig is set for Friday, but he couldn’t bring himself to practice. He knows it isn’t fair to his bandmates, but he doesn’t know how to force it. He has been writing though. Sure all of his lyrics have been fucking depressing, but at least he is doing something with music.

“What?” Harry asks, looking at his friend. Niall is smiling, which is weird given the melancholy mood that has settled in the apartment since Louis left Saturday morning.

“I talked to Liam. It seems that Louis is just as depressed as you. Liam actually had to break  down his goddamned door to get him to talk yesterday,” Niall reports. The mention of Louis’ name brings fresh tears to his eyes. He thought he was past this, but he is wrong. He is wrong a lot lately, it seems. Then Niall’s words register in his head. Louis is sad. What does that have to do with anything? Is that supposed to make him feel better, that Louis is just as miserable as he is? It doesn’t. He actually feels even wrose. He doesn’t want Louis to be upset. Louis should always be happy and smiling.

“I don’t get it,” Harry finally says still trying to figure out why Niall seems so happy.

“Jesus, Haz. Did all that crying do something to your brain? Louis is miserable. That means he misses you. That means he probably regrets what happened.”

Harry’s eyes widen with realization, making Niall laugh out loud. Niall’s words playing over and over in his head. Louis is miserable. Louis is depressed. Louis misses him? Suddenly an idea forms in Harry’s head. It is crazy, but it may be his last chance. His last opportunity to get Louis back. To make him realize that they are good together. That change can be good. That everything is okay.

“Fuck, Ni. Do you think you can get Liam to talk him into coming to our show on Friday?”

“Umm… are we going to our show on Friday?” Niall asks hesitantly.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t we be?” Harry’s brows drawn in confusion.

“Well, you’ve been so out of it lately, Cal, Ash, and I weren’t sure if we were going to have to cancel or not. You haven’t exactly been up to performance standards,” Niall says not unkindly. He is right. Harry’s hair is greasy from lack of showers. He has probably lost weight from not eating. His eyes are bloodshot from lack of sleep. His nose and lips are read from crying. It is a fair assumption.

“I want to perform. So, do you think Liam can convince Louis to come to our show on Friday?” Harry asks again, holding his breath waiting for an answer.

Niall tips his head to the side as if in thought. After a few moments he looks at Harry again. “I don’t know. He might. I guess it depends if Louis is ready to listen.”

“Okay. Do everything in your power to get him there. Tie him up and kidnap him if you have to.”

“What are you thinking, Hazza?” Niall asks, studying Harry’s face.

“I have a plan,” Harry answers with a small smile. If it doesn’t work, he may actually die. He has to try though. He can’t give up on Louis just yet. He can’t let Louis give up on them. He needs to fight for what he wants and what feels right. His heart is racing as he thinks about what he is going to do. It just might work, so for the first time in four days, he feels hope.

 

__________

  


Louis is still dejected. He still feels numb. He hasn’t really left his room other than a ridiculous attempt to prove his straightness. Weed didn't help. Alcohol didn't help. Nothing helps.  Liam had forced him to eat a few bites of food throughout the day, before Louis had pushed most of it away. The food curdling in his stomach. He is pretty sure he has lost weight. He thought that the further removed he was from Harry, the easier it would get, but that is proving to be wrong. So very wrong. He looks down at his phone, and for the 386th time in just five short days, he contemplates calling or texting Harry. He just wants to hear his voice. He isn’t sure what he would even say though. Would he apologize for being a fuckwit and actually tell him how he really feels? Would he tell him again that they are better off apart than together in their bed?

He glances at his reflection in the closet mirror. Gods, he _looks_ as hollow _feels_ . His eyes are red rimmed from lack of sleep, contrasting the darkness surrounding them. His cheeks are pronounced and bony, probably from weight loss. His fingers are destroyed, the cuticles sore and bleeding. He looks defeated. He feels defeated. Defeated and distant. All of the marks Harry had left on his body from their last night together have faded. Louis isn’t sure whether he is happy to no longer have the constant reminder of his misgivings or sad that they are gone just like Harry. He tells himself that it is the former. He doesn't need any more reminders of Harry. His room, his apartment, _everything_ reminds him of Harry. It’s ridiculous really, and somewhat pathetic. He did this to himself.

He briefly considers the fact that all of the marks he left in return on Harry are probably also gone. His claim to Harry is gone, along with the marks he had left on his skin. Everything has disappeared from his world, similar to how he feels he is fading from existence, on a plain between dead and alive. His body is alive, his basic survival instincts kicking in, but inside, he feels dead. Nothing fazes him. He feels nothing.

“Lou?” Liam’s voice breaks him out of his troubled thoughts.

“Yeah?” Louis answers, wincing at his voice, still sounding void.

“Umm…” Liam looks nervous. His gaze is on his feet as he shuffles through the doorway. They still haven’t fixed it since Liam broke it down to make sure Louis was alive. While he was thankful for such a great friend, he is still pissed because now he can't lock Liam out.

“What is it Liam?” Louis sighs, not really in the mood to deal with his friend at the current moment. He hasn’t been in the mood to deal with anyone all week. He finally went back to work. He tried to paste on a fake smile, but it was hard, pretending everything was fucking great.

Two nights ago, he went out with his friend Stan. He hadn’t seen him all summer, but everything just felt stilted. He ended up getting really drunk and attempted to make out with some girl. He doesn't even remember what she looked like, never mind her name. He just knows she smelled like cheap perfume and hairspray. It was all wrong. Everything about it just felt forced, but he still tried to power through, convincing himself that it was what he needed to get over Harry.

He almost emptied the contents of his stomach on the first kiss. The very idea of kissing someone that wasn’t Harry made him want to vomit, so he isn’t sure why he even tried. Maybe he thought making out with some random chick would help him get over Harry. It seemed to have the opposite effect though. He told Stan he wasn’t feeling good and stumbled his way out of the bar. The warm night air felt sticky on his skin. He bought a pack of cigarettes, not for the first time this week, and smoked them as he walked home. It didn't feel like home anymore though. He just felt lost. When he got there he laid in bed, still refusing to cry. He almost called Harry, but thankfully passed out before doing so with the last thought in his head: _Shit, maybe I miss you._

“Niall and his band are playing Friday night at The Gate. They want us to come,” Liam finally says. Niall _and his band_. Meaning Niall and Harry had a gig on Friday.

“No.”

“Come on, Lou. You can’t seriously expect to avoid him. Me and Niall are good friends now. Hell I am even good friends with Ash and Cal. Even Harry.”

“Have you seen him?” Louis asks quickly. He probably shouldn’t have. He has been trying not to think about Harry, but he just wants to know if he is okay.

“Who?”

“Bigfoot. Who the fuck do you think Liam? Harry. Have you seen Harry?”

“Oh. Yes…” Liam trails off.

“And?”

Liam doesn’t look like he wants to answer, but Louis fixes him with a stern gaze. He finally sighs then answers, “He looks bad. Miserable actually. So yeah.”

Louis’ heart thaws just a tiny bit, allowing it to break even more. He knows he hurt Harry, but hearing it confirmed by his best friend just does something to him. He rubs his chest, like it will make the ache go away. It doesn’t.

“Anyway, they want us to go. Will you at least think about it?” Liam gives him the puppy dog eyes, and Louis can feel his resolve crumble.

“Fine. I will think about it, but the answer will probably still be no,” Louis says feeling sad all over again at the thought of Harry. He couldn’t see him. Not after what he did and the things he said. Harry probably doesn’t even want to see him. He has probably already met some nice guy and they are riding off into the sunset. Fuck, he misses him. He just wants to hold him in his arms again.

He jumps when his phone starts ringing in front of him. It’s his mom calling him via skype. She has been trying to contact him all week, but he wouldn’t talk to her. He has pretty much ignored her, afraid that he would tell her everything. He and Liam both stare at it as if he may explode at any moment. It finally stops, then starts again immediately.

“You should probably answer that.” Liam’s voice breaks through the looming quiet of the room.

“I’m afraid I’ll break and tell her everything,” Louis admits glancing down as his phone stops ringing, and stills finally.

“Maybe you should.” Liam shrugs.

“I can’t.”

“You tell your mom everything, Lou. You know she won’t judge you. Maybe she can help or offer some advice. Your mom gives great advice,” Liam offers patting him on the leg then walking out of the room, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

With a sigh, Louis picks up his phone and presses the skype call button connecting to his mom before he loses his nerve. He takes a deep breath. She answers on the first ring. As soon as he sees her face, he burst into tears. Everything that has been building since Saturday starts streaming down his face in the form of sobs and snot. He can barely breath. All of the confusion and pain comes flooding back to him, replacing the numbness that has settled into his bones. Her brows are drawn in worry and confusion, but she just watches quietly as he cries, sensing he needs to get this out.

Once his tears start coming slower and his sobs quiet down, his mom finally speaks. “Oh Boobear, what on earth is wrong, love?”

“Mom,” Louis chokes out, holding back another sob. “I’ve fucked up.”

“It can’t be that bad. Tell me what happened?” His mom says gently, concern written all over her face.

Louis breaks. Through his tears, he tells his mom everything that happened over the summer between him and Harry, skimming over the sex of course. He does tell her that they have slept together, since he has been open with his mom about everything in the past. His mom doesn’t let anything she is thinking reflect through her expression, nor does she interrupt. She just listens and nods every now again. Louis finds it therapeutic in some ways, just getting it all out there, the secret he feels is swallowing him whole. “So I freaked out, and I broke it off with him,” He finishes weakly, scanning his mom’s features for any indication of disappointment or hate.

“Oh, love, why did you freak out?” She asks after a few moments. Louis is confused at first because out of the entire story, _that_ is what she chooses to focus on. Not the fact that her son has basically been in a relationship with a man. Not the fact that he has been hiding said relationship from her, even though they came and visited. He would have asked her these things, but he doesn’t think _now_ is the time for sarcasm. He always hides behind his sarcasm, and he really shouldn’t this time. Louis can see, even on his phone screen, her eyes are shiny with unshed tears. He isn’t sure if it is because her son is obviously hurt, or she is disappointed that her son may be gay.

Louis thinks about how to answer her question. He can’t exactly say ‘because, Mom, I felt empty the night before from pulling away from him, so he fucked me in the ass and made me feel incredibly loved and cherished,’ instead he goes for something close to the truth because, in all honesty, he is tired of lying. “The night before was… special… I can’t explain it. It was just… raw. I have never felt like that before, with anyone, so I just panicked. I felt like I couldn’t get enough air.”

“You need to talk to him.” He knew his mom was going to say that. He just wasn’t sure he is ready to hear it.

“I can’t, Mom, he probably hates me. I said some pretty terrible things,” Louis replies bowing his head in shame, fresh tears springing to his eyes at the memories.

“Louis William Tomlinson, you listen to me very carefully.” His mom’s stern tone forces his head to snap up. She only used his full name when she is pissed or is being very serious about a matter. “I didn’t know exactly what was going on when you came and visited, and I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you need to hear it, that boy is gone for you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean he is in love with you, Louis. He loves you. He looks at you like you hung the stars and the moon. I noticed it when you guys were here, but I didn’t say anything because I thought that maybe he just had a crush and it was unrequited, but now hearing you talk about him, and thinking back on your interactions together, you are just as gone for him. It is ridiculous really. I should have noticed it, but I was blinded by trying to find you a girlfriend. I’m sorry for that Louis. It sounds to me like you have already found someone.” She smiles. Louis’ mouth drops open in shock. It finally sinks in that his mom doesn’t hate him for being in a relationship with a guy. She doesn’t hate him for being gay or bisexual or whatever. He could cry tears of joy.

“I-I don’t know,” Louis stammers out because now his mind is whirring with what his mom said. Harry loves him, and she believes that he loves Harry. She is happy that he found someone, regardless of gender.

“My point is that he will probably forgive you because he loves you. You just need to talk to him. Why are you so scared?” His mom asks, and it is the million-dollar question, really. The very same question he has been asking himself since day one.

“I was scared that you would hate me, that my friends would hate me. I wouldn’t be able to give you grandchildren, and you know how much I want a big family, Mom. I also just didn’t want people to look at me differently. Everything changed,” Louis answers truthfully. Saying all of these things out loud has really helped his psyche. He feels like he can breathe again, that maybe he is finally punching his way through the ice and can reach the surface soon.

“Oh honey, I don’t hate you. I love you, and I am so happy you felt safe to share all of this with me. You know your sisters won’t hate you either. They loved Harry. They will probably just be happy that he will be around more. From what you’ve told me, Liam also doesn’t hate you. As for all of your other friends, if they don’t like you because of your sexuality, then they aren’t really your friends.” At that statement, Louis smiles because Liam said the exact same thing the first time he was freaking out over this. “Now, for your last point, there are other ways for you to have children. There are so many kids out there that need to be fostered or adopted. You could also look into a surrogate, one of your sisters may be even be a willing participate.”

His mom brings up a very good point. Louis has never even considered adoption or surrogacy. He knows, better than anyone, there is more than one way to become a father or to be a family. Getting a girl pregnant doesn’t make you a father, raising the child does. He still doesn’t know what he wants to do. He doesn’t know if he can actually be in a relationship with a guy, but he makes a decision right then and there.

“Thanks, Mom, for talking. I need to get off here. I’ve gotta tell Liam something. I love you.”

“I love you too, Boobear. Whatever you decide to do, know that I support you one hundred percent. Harry really is a lovely person, and I couldn’t have picked someone better for you if I had tried,” she says then blows a kiss to Louis. Louis returns it, and they tap the call end button at the same time, disconnecting them.

Louis sigh and falls back on the bed, feeling suddenly exhausted. He really hasn’t been sleeping very well, but right now, he feels like he could sleep for days. “Liam!” He calls, before he loses his nerve.

“Yeah?” Liam responds poking his head through the broken doorway.

“I’ll go,” Louis says. It is probably a mistake. He should probably not see Harry again, but his mom is right. He should hear whatever Harry has to say, since he obviously wants Louis there for the gig. He has no idea what he will say back to Harry though. He may tell him again that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship. The very thought of seeing Harry looking so hurt again makes Louis’ empty stomach turn.

“Really?” Liam’s face lights up with an expression somewhere between pleased and surprised. At Louis nod, he says, “Alright. I will let Niall know.”

 

__________

 

“I’m not going,” Louis declares stubbornly, sitting down on his bed and crossing his arms over his chest. This is a mistake. He can’t do this. He can’t see Harry. He hasn’t seen him in a week and school is starting on Monday. He should be concentrating on his upcoming classes, not listening to Harry try to convince him that they should be together. He isn’t even convinced of that himself. Since his conversation with his mom, he has fallen back into disassociation.

“Yes, you are. I already told them that you would.” Liam points threateningly.

“Well, I’ve changed my mind.”

“You are going even if I have to pick you up and carry you there myself,” Liam says sternly, and Louis believes him. He definitely wouldn’t put it past his friend to do that at this point. Liam has probably had it with Louis’ shit, so Louis can’t blame him. The cynical part of him, though, just wants Liam to butt out and leave him alone to wallow in his misery. Isn’t there a saying about digging your own grave and now having to lay in it?

“Fine.” Louis sighs, looking wearily at his closet. What does one wear to possibly break someone’s heart for the second time in a week? He doesn’t even know if that is what is going to happen. Maybe Harry wants him there to sing a song about telling him to fuck off or that he already found someone new. Maybe Harry wants to hurt him like he had hurt him last week. He deserves it.

“Wear this,” Liam says pulling a pair of skinny jeans and a simple tank top out of Louis’ closet. It was hot as fuck, being that it is August. It hasn’t rained in a week, the drought feeling like it is never ending.

“Okay,” Louis answers robotically because at this point there is no use in arguing. He is suddenly taken back to all those nights ago when Liam forced Louis to go to a party, the party where he met Harry. This is all Liam’s fault, really. If Liam would have just let Louis sit at home and sulk, then none of this would have ever happened. Would it have been better that way?

“Alright.” Liam’s voice breaks Louis out of his what-if scenario. “Change so we can leave.”

“Yes, Dad,” Louis replies, sarcastically, rolling his eyes and standing up. Liam stays in his room while he changes, like he doesn’t trust him not to jump out of the window or something. Louis doesn’t blame him though, he has considered it, after all. Once he is changed, he takes in his appearance in the mirror. He looks like shit, quite frankly. He has dark circles under his eyes from not sleeping. His fingers are dry and scabbed over from picking at them. His eyes are bloodshot. He runs his fingers through his hair, thinking that maybe he should have fixed it or something. At least attempted to make himself look half-way presentable. Too late now though.

They quietly walk together to the bar, the humid August air sticking unpleasantly to his skin, making him feel as though he is swimming instead of walking. They don’t talk much, and Louis kind of wishes they would because he can’t handle being alone with his thoughts anymore. The uncertainty of what is about to happen is killing him. His stomach churns like he may throw up. He hasn’t even had anything to drink yet.

When they get to the bar, Liam goes to order them drinks while he finds their normal table, near the front. He doesn’t know if he wants to be this close to Harry, but he may as well since this was inevitable at this point. He sips his drink as he and Liam watch the first few acts. He is impatient for Harry to come on, jogging his leg on the seat, fidgeting, or tapping his fingers on the table. He almost wants to get drunk, but he doesn’t think his stomach could handle that right now.

Louis holds his breath when the curtains open, and he sees Harry for the first time in a week. Harry looks about as bad as Louis feels. He has some dark circles under the same bloodshot eyes. He also looks like he has lost some weight, normally tight skinny jeans are just a tiny bit loose. He is wearing his trademark sheer blouse with only a few buttons done up. His hair is loose and curling on his shoulders, looking shiny and soft. It hurts Louis a bit to look at him because he just seems sad.

“Hello everyone,” Harry’s deep slow drawl comes out through the microphone, scanning his eyes through the crowd before they finally land on Louis. Hearing his voice and feeling intensity of his gaze makes Louis want to run away, but he feels a firm hand on his shoulder, stopping him from going anywhere. Fucking Liam.

“I’m Harry Styles, that’s Niall, Ashton, and Calum. Together, we are Temporary Fix. Tonight we will be performing a few songs for you, two of which are originals. One you haven’t ever heard before,” Harry says looking directly at Louis. Louis stops breathing. This is it. This is why Harry wants him here tonight. He wants to sing him a song. What is the song going to be about? Is it going to tell him to fuck off? Confess his undying love? Tell him that he never cared? Harry looks nervous standing awkwardly on the stage, toes pointing inwards and clutching his guitar so hard, he is visibly shaking. Louis feels that too as he concentrates on Liam’s steady hand, now rubbing his bicep, and breathing in and out. He can breathe; he has been doing it since he was born, after all.

The first song they perform is a cover of Natalie Imbruglia’s _Torn_ . Harry sings it with such passion and sadness, Louis wants to cry. The lyrics hit home for him, too.   _I’m all out of faith, this is how I feel. I’m cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor._ Fuck, Louis can feel Harry’s pain and sadness. His entire body hurts. He did that. He hurt Harry.

Next, Temporary Fix covers _Breakeven_ by the Script, and again, Louis finds himself relating with the lyrics. It’s like Harry picked the songs that have summed up his week. The opening lines are what kill Louis the most. _I’m still alive but I’m barely breathing, praying to a god that I don’t believe in_. Louis doesn’t even realize he is crying until he feels a warm drop on his fingers that are laying in front of him on the table. He looks around to see if anyone is paying attention as he quickly wipes it away. Harry probably notices since he has yet to take his green eyes off of Louis throughout the entire performance thus far.

The next song Harry introduces it as _It Only Hurts When I’m Breathing_ by Shania Twain. Louis smiles a bit at that, despite his current state of heartbreak, because he knows how much Harry loves the female country singer. Louis isn’t sure he has heard the song before, but again, the lyrics cut him to the bone. _And it only hurts when I’m breathing, my heart only breaks when it’s beating, my dreams only die when I’m dreaming, so I hold my breath to forget._ The heartbreaking way Harry sings the lyrics makes Louis clench his hand to his own chest. Harry even has to pause for a moment to take a deep breath, clearly blinking his own tears away.

After the final line, Harry turns away from the audience for a second. Louis can tell he is wiping his eyes, and Louis does the same because it seems he is crying again. When he turns back, Harry is smiling just a tiny bit, eyes still shining with tears. He looks so beautiful, Louis wants to jump up on the stage and just hold him, maybe even pet his hair. Comfort him in some way, but he can’t. He doesn’t deserve to since he is the reason Harry is hurting in the first place. The next song is more upbeat. Louis recognizes it right away from their last show. It is the song Harry wrote called _Happily._

“Alright, I feel like I should apologize for all of the depressing songs tonight. I am just going through some things, and I find music therapeutic,” Harry says into the mic after the last song is finished, avoiding Louis’ gaze for the first time since he has been out there. Everyone in the crowd shakes their head, seeming to agree with Harry’s sentiment. “We have one more song for you all. I actually just finished writing it this week, so please excuse us if it is a bit rough around the edges. It was very important that we performed it tonight, though. This song is dedicated to someone in the audience. I am not going to say a name, but they know who they are, so without further ado, this is _Something Great_.”

Louis took a deep breath, bracing himself for what is about to come. He barely registers Liam patting his back reassuringly. He can feel his breathing become more erratic, so he tries to slow it down. He can’t freak out now. He needs to hear this song. It almost feels as though his life depends on it. Harry looks directly at him as he begins to sing. Louis holds his breath; he doesn’t know if he can do this. Harry looks vulnerable, like he is getting ready to lay everything on the line. Maybe he is.

_One day you'll come into my world and say it all_

_You say we'll be together even when you're lost_

_One day you'll say these words_

_I thought but never said_

_You say we're better off together in our bed_

Okay, so the beginning lyrics already has Louis wanting to bolt because he does feel lost. So very lost, but Harry still believes that he can help him. He probably can’t though. No one seems to be able to, not even his mother. Louis can feel his hands start to shake, so he clutches the table until his knuckles are white.

_I want you here with me_

_Like how I pictured it_

_So I don't have to keep imagining_

_Come on, jump out at me_

_Come on, bring everything_

_Is it too much to ask for something great?_

He wants everything that Louis has to give him. All of his fucked up baggage and his inability to communicate his own emotions. Is it really too much to ask for something great? Louis finds himself repeating the question over and over in his head. The room feels like it is spinning and closing in around him. He wants to leave, but he can feel Liam grip his shoulder firmly, keeping him in place.

_The script was written and I could not change a thing_

_I want to rip it all to shreds and start again_

_One day I'll come into your world and get it right_

_I'll say we're better off together here tonight_

Fuck, is Harry saying that he wants to be a part of Louis’ world? When Louis told him he wants to go back to his normal life, is Harry saying that he wants to come into that world and get it right? Louis can’t process this. He just can’t. It’s too much. It feels like Harry is trying to tell him something through his own lyrics. Almost like he is making a promise. A promise not to give up. Louis isn’t sure he can make that same promise.

_I want you here with me_

_Like how I pictured it_

_So I don't have to keep imagining_

_Come on, jump out at me_

_Come on, bring everything_

_Is it too much to ask for something great?_

_I want you here with me_

_Like how I pictured it_

_So I don't have to keep imagining_

_Come on, jump out at me_

_Come on, bring everything_

_Is it too much to ask for something great?_

_I want you here with me_

_Like how I pictured it_

_Is it too much to ask for something great?_

The next few lines are a bit repetitive, allowing Louis to spiral even more. So many questions running through his head, possibly the same ones that Harry has been asking himself all week. Harry is asking him for something great, but in the end it is up to Louis to provide it. Up to Louis to get past his own demons and give Harry what he wants, what he deserves. In all honesty, to give Louis what he wants as well. With that realization, his breath is coming out ragged now, and the room is starting to close in, feeling too small and too crowded. He can feel the song coming to an end, so he braces himself.

_You're all I want_

_So much it's hurting_

_You're all I want_

_So much it's hurting_

The last lines ring out with no music played in the background, just Harry’s voice. It cracks with the word ‘hurting’, just like Louis heart. The pain and emotion he put into the lyrics hurts Louis’ soul. He sounds so raw and vulnerable; it brings even more tears to Louis’ eyes. Fuck this hurts. He does the only thing he can think of. He rips himself from Liam’s tight grip, ignoring his friend’s protest and lets his shaking legs carry him at full speed out of the bar. On instinct, he runs and doesn’t look back, like always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and Comments are always welcome!  
> Follow me on my social media for updates or just to chat xx  
> Twitter: @Wicked_Archer  
> Tumblr: wicked-archer


	14. Collide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter before the epilogue! I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> There is a [Spotify Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/mmbrabd/playlist/3K8GDQgXDwKVDLVF6h3H1T?si=sgO-djloQzmO81_jPnYdYQ%20rel=) that will be updated weekly with the songs represented as chapter titles as well as any other songs that are featured in each chapter.

_Even the best fall down sometimes_   
_Even the stars refuse to shine_   
_Out of the back you fall in time_   
_I somehow find_ _  
You and I collide- Howie Day_

Harry looks directly at Louis as he sings the final line, trying to get him to understand that this is how he feels. Louis is crying; he has been on and off for most of the performance, making Harry have to blink back his own tears. He has never seen Louis cry, and it is breaking his heart. He even had to stop at some point and turn away from the crowd to wipe his tears away with shaking hands. Ash silently asked him if he was okay. He nodded back, telling the drummer he wanted to keep going with the show. He honestly doesn’t know how he has made it this far into it, emotionally. His voice is miraculously holding up, even though it did crack on the final word. For some reason, this felt like the most important performance of his life. If it doesn’t work, he isn’t sure what is going to happen.

He sees the exact moment Louis decides to run. He has seen the look on his face two times before, so he is kind of expecting it. Louis’ tearful eyes are wide with panic, and he is physically shaking. As soon as he makes a break for it, Harry drops his guitar without thinking and runs after him, hearing the audience's confused gasp as he goes. He pushes his way through the crowd and sees the top of Louis’ head as he dashes out of the exit. Harry isn’t letting him get away this time, so he runs at full speed after him. He breaks into the humid night air, looking around frantically for Louis’ retreating figure. Instead he just finds him directly outside, standing in the pouring rain, staring up at the sky.

Harry takes in Louis’ appearance. His head is tilted towards the sky, eyes closed, and Harry can make out the faint outline of dark circles even in the dim light. Water droplets are streaming down his face, catching on his long lashes. Harry briefly wonders how much is actually water, and how much is tears. His clothes are soaked through already, and his arms are hanging loosely by his side. Harry approaches him cautiously, the rain soaking him almost instantly, but he barely feels it, too concentrated on Louis in front of him. He doesn’t think Louis knows that he has followed him since he hasn’t started running again.

Harry quietly clears his throat then falters, not knowing exactly what he wants to say. He’s thought about this moment all week, when he would finally get to speak to him again, but now that it's here, he is speechless. He already said it all in his song, but he feels like he needs to say something. Louis obviously still isn’t convinced if he ran again. Louis must not have heard him clear his throat because he is still in the same position, face turned up towards the sky as if he’s praying. Maybe he is, but it’s doubtful, since Louis isn't religious.

“What are you doing?” Harry’s voice shatters the quiet of the alley. Louis’ eyes snap open, and his gaze levels with Harry’s in one fluid movement.  Fuck he looks so beautiful in the rain; Harry aches just to touch him.

“Feeling the rain. It’s something different than the pain and sadness that I’ve been feeling all night. At least I feel something though, I didn't for a while,” Louis practically whispers. Harry has to step closer to hear him properly. He is so close now, he can almost touch him. Against his better judgement, he reaches one hand out to wrap it around Louis’ wrist. Louis flinches, but doesn’t pull away. He can't help it. He needs to touch him and giving Louis his space hasn't worked thus far.

“I know what you mean,” Harry replies, and he means it because he does completely understand wanting to feel something other than what he has been feeling. The rain is actually kind of nice, cooling his heated skin. It almost feels grounding. Like it's helping him wash away all of the sadness and negativity, leaving him with a clean slate to start again.

“I tried, you know, to go out and hook up with a girl,” Louis starts dejectedly, now staring over Harry’s shoulder. Harry feels like the air has been punched out of his lungs at Louis’ admission. He has already found someone new. A _girl_. Bile rises in Harry's throat at the very idea of Louis touching someone else. He wants to throw up, or cry, or both. Definitely both. Louis continues as if Harry’s world isn’t being flipped off on its axis. “I don’t even remember her name. That is how unimportant she was to me. She was barely a blip on my radar, forgettable at best. I just know even kissing her made me want to puke.”

“Why’s that?” Harry asks hopefully.

“Because she wasn’t you,” Louis answers meeting Harry’s gaze again for a brief moment. It was enough for Harry to see the truth behind his eyes.

“Oh.”

“Yeah. You really fucked me up. I can’t be with anyone else, but I can’t be with you.”

“Why can’t you be with me?” Harry asks, his grip on Louis’ wrist tightening, brows drawn in confusion.

“Because, Harry, I don’t deserve you. You are so caring and considerate. I have never met anyone like you, and I hurt you. I said some things that you will never forgive.” Louis’ voice is getting louder, almost shouting over the heavy storm that’s raging around them. Harry hates storms, but he is too focused on Louis to even give it a second thought.

“You don’t know that unless you apologize,” Harry reasons, dipping his head to look into Louis’ downcast eyes. He reaches for Louis’ other wrist; this time Louis doesn’t flinch.

“I just don’t know if I can do this.” Louis looks into his eyes, searching for something.

“I don’t know why though. We were doing it just fine.”

“Yeah, but there wasn’t a label. I know you wanted one, and don’t deny it,” Louis says pointing a finger accusingly at Harry. He knows Harry a bit too well, so Harry snaps his mouth shut and listens, waiting for Louis to continue. At least he is finally talking. “You just know who you are. You are so sure of yourself. I’m not like you. I don’t know who I am, or how I feel!”

“Lou, it took me a long time to get to this point in my life. I still sometimes don’t know who I am. Like with this whole major thing, I didn’t know who I was. You helped me get there. I want to be that for you.” Harry slides both hands down over Louis’ wrist and laces their fingers together, the water making the motion easier.

“I just… this week has been hell. I thought that what I was doing was for the best. That we are better off apart simply because I can’t give you want you need.”

“Yes, you can.” Harry puts a sternness in his tone, trying to get Louis to understand.

Louis ignores him and continues on as if Harry didn’t say anything. “I can’t continue to hurt you. I don’t know if I can accept this aspect of myself.”

“Louis, look at me.” Harry raises his voice for the first time, he wants to scream at him, shake Louis until he understands. He can feel himself getting angry, so tired of everything. When Louis eyes snap up to meet his, they look scared, but Harry doesn’t soften his tone. He needs to make Louis understand this. “I know what you are going though. I went through the same goddamn thing, but you have to get past it. You have to accept it, or it will eat you alive. There is nothing wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with _us_. I will fight for this. I will not let you just run away because you’re scared. If you can’t give me one good goddamn reason why we can’t be together that doesn’t involve your own fucking fear, then I will continue to fight for you. I will write you a million goddamned songs and sing them to you every single chance I get. I will do whatever I have to in order to make you understand that this, what is between us, is real. It isn’t just some summer fling, as you called it.”

Louis visibly flinches when Harry uses Louis’ own words from a week ago, and good, maybe he is getting through to him. Maybe he is making him understand. “Don’t you think I know that Harry! I was just saying those things to hurt you, to get you to see that we don’t belong together.”

“Well that is a pretty shitty thing to do, Lou.”

“I know. I am a terrible fucking person. It’s the only thing I know about myself right now!” Louis yells, hot breath hitting Harry’s lips. “God Harry, it was so fucking hard to walk away that day, so hard. I am so fucked up! Don’t you understand!”

“Yes! I do understand! Why don’t you get that? If anyone can understand what you’re thinking, it’s me. Instead you just fucking push me away. You push everyone away. Everyone who gives a fuck about you at least. You are so goddamned stubborn, I could fucking strangle you,” Harry exclaims releasing Louis hands and throwing his own up in anger.

“I don’t know how to stop!” Louis cries stomping his foot in the water pooled at their feet, causing little drops to splash up on their shoes.

“Let me in, Lou! Please, I am begging you, just let me in. Let me be there for you. Let me take care of you, for once! You take care of everyone around you, but you can’t seem to let anyone in. You have these walls built up around you, and every single fucking time I broke one down, you put another up. You pushed me away. You distanced yourself. All for what? Where did it get you?” Harry asks gesturing wildly with his hands. They are now toe-to-toe, face-to-face breathing heavily.

“Miserable. That’s where it fucking got me. I have never hurt this bad in my life. It is like my whole body hurts and is screaming at me to be with you! It fucking sucks how much I miss you, Harry! It just feels like I can’t be with you, but I can’t not be with you.”

“Here we fucking go again!” Harry cries thrusting his hands up in the air and turning away from Louis. He is so angry he is shaking. He doesn’t think he has ever been this angry in his entire life. He feels like they are talking in circles. He runs a hand through his wet hair, and takes a deep calming breath before he turns back around fixing Louis with an angry gaze.

“The only person stopping you from being with me, from being fucking happy, is yourself.” He points one long finger out and pokes Louis in the chest, punctuating the last two words. He watches as Louis expression goes from sadness to shock, then finally ends on something Harry can’t read. He holds his breath because he has no idea where they will go from here. The silence between them is deafening, only drown out by the steady rain.

“I’m sorry I hurt you, Harry,” Louis finally says after what feels like a lifetime of quiet. He looks into Harry’s eyes when he says it. Harry feels his anger dissipate, just like that, because he believes him. “I’m sorry I was so fucked up and wrapped up in myself that I couldn’t see a good thing in front of me. I am sorry I ever put you through this. I hate myself for it. I am not sorry that we met, though. Over the past few days, I found myself wondering what life would be like if we hadn’t, and I just couldn’t fathom a world without you in it. I told myself I had to though, that I needed to learn to live without you because it was for the best. That I didn’t deserve you, and I can’t be in a relationship with a man. I was wrong though.”

“What are you saying, Louis?” Harry asks letting hope lace through the question like sunlight through trees.

“I-I,” Louis begins then pauses, looking away from Harry probably trying to collect his thoughts. He finally meets Harry’s eyes again. His blue eyes are earnest; like he wants Harry to believe whatever it is he is about to say. Harry holds his breath, bracing himself for what is about to come. He has never felt so unsure of a conversation in his entire life. Louis reaches down to grip Harry’s hands tightly and whispers, “I love you, Harry.”

Harry’s breath whooshes out of him because he wasn’t expecting that at all. It feels like time is standing still, as though they are the only two people in the world to exist. He thinks he may have heard wrong. Louis couldn’t love him. Sure he was hopeful that Louis may want an actual relationship with him, but he really didn’t think Louis would say the words he had been thinking for months now. Louis is speaking again, so Harry tries to focus on that.

“Harry, I know it may be hard to believe because I have treated you like shit. I was a complete and total fuckwit. I am so, so sorry for everything, but you’re right. Fuck, you are right. The only thing stopping me from being with you and being happy is myself. I was just too fucking blind to see that.” Louis’ voice cracks, and Harry isn’t sure if it’s tears or just the rain. “I fucking love you, though, so much. More than I have ever loved anyone. I think that’s why I freaked out so much. You scare the shit out of me, Haz. I know it’s not an excuse, but I promise I will be better. I want this. I want us.”

“I love you too, Louis,” Harry whispers out, with tears in his eyes from emotion. He releases Louis hands and wraps his long arms around Louis’ neck so tightly, he grasps his own biceps. He never wants to let him go. He feels Louis’ arms come around his waist, holding him just as securely. Harry knows he is crying, but how can he not after Louis says something like that? They stand in the rain, just holding each other for a few moments, forgetting the entire world exists, then Harry is kissing Louis. Kissing him like his life depends on it, trying to put everything he is feeling into it. The kiss warms his cool skin and makes his entire body tingle. Louis returns it with a passion, lips smacking and fingers gripping, like he never wants to let go.

Harry pushes Louis against the wall of the bar, deepening their heated kiss. He can feel Louis’ strong legs wrap around his waist, their hard ons pressing together painfully. Louis laces his small fingers through Harry's long wet hair pulling his head back to bite and suck on his neck. In response, Harry grinds his clothed cock against Louis, making them both groan from the much desired friction. If he didn’t stop, he was going to let Louis fuck him in the dirty alley.

“My place?” Harry asks breaking their kiss, searching Louis’ blue eyes for an answer. His pupils are blown, and his lips are kiss bitten red. Harry reaches one hand out to trace his high cheek bone, memorizing the planes of his face. He still can't quite believe this is happening after the sadness of the past week. He can't believe he is actually getting to touch Louis again. Getting to kiss him and swallow his soft moans.

“Yeah. Yes,” Louis answers quickly, dropping his legs, breaking Harry out of his trance. They hold hands as they walk to Harry’s apartment, the rain finally stops and the sky clears, revealing a bright moon. They don’t talk much. It feels like they have said all they want to say for now, they just want to hold each other.

The cool air in Harry’s apartment makes them both shiver, so instead of leading them into the bedroom, they detour, and he pushes Louis into the bathroom. He turns the shower on, and lets it warm up as he slowly begins undressing Louis. Louis’ skin is cold against his fingers, but he just watches Harry with wide blue eyes as he removes his clothes, one item at a time, until he is naked. Harry spends a few minutes tracing over Louis’ tattoos. At this point, he could draw them in his sleep. Fuck, Harry missed him this week. He marvels at how some of them match his own, like they knew they were meant to be before they had even met.

In the harsh light of the bathroom, Harry can finally see Louis. He has dark rings around his eyes, and his fingers are scabbed. He also looks like he lost some weight, which he really didn’t have much to lose in the first place. Once Harry is done, Louis does the same to Harry. Slowly removing each item, then replacing it with a kiss. Tracing his tattoos, fingers lightly grazing his skin, tickling him. It is all very gentle, like Louis is scared to break the moment. Harry feels the same way, like this is all just a dream, and he is going to wake up tomorrow miserable.

They don’t speak as they step into the shower, warm water cascading over them heating their cool skin. Harry starts by washing Louis’ soft hair, much like he did with their first shower together. This time, they don’t giggle through it. They take turns gently washing each other, kissing and caressing the skin the water is touching. Louis bites Harry's shoulder, causing Harry to shiver with anticipation. His cock getting harder the more Louis washes him. He can feel Louis smile against his back as Louis begins washing lower, finally and carefully soaping up Harry’s cock and balls, using his small hands instead of the shower poof. Harry moans and bites his lip, grinding his hips against Louis’ now hardening cock.

“I missed you,” Harry says finally breaking the silence.

“I missed you too, Curly,” Louis replies from behind him, hot breath on his neck. Harry turns around, moaning when their hardened cocks graze each other, and kisses Louis. The kiss becomes heated in no time, all clashing teeth and tongues. Louis grips Harry’s hips tightly as he pulls away reaching around them to shut the water off. The renewed quiet in the bathroom feels electric. They are both staring at each other, wondering which of them is going to make the first move.

  


__________

 

Louis is so nervous about this for some reason, he has to physically stop his hand from shaking as he entwines his fingers with Harry’s. He suddenly realizes how well their hands fit together, almost like they were made for each other. His rope tattoo lining up with Harry's anchor. Symbolic really, because he knows Harry will always be there to anchor him when his own head gets in the way. Their tattoos match so perfectly, it's almost too weird to be a coincidence.

Harry looks at him like he has seen a ghost, big eyes and pupils blown. He pulls Harry hand so he steps out the shower. He finds two big fluffy towels and gently dries them both off. He feels a hundred times better after the shower and his discussion with Harry. He has never felt so sure of anything in his entire life, and it scares him. Instead of running, like he normally would, he decides to dive head first into the unknown. He, again, grabs Harry hand and leads him to the bedroom.

He swallows a lump in his throat, feeling like he hasn't had water in a decade. This suddenly feels like the first time all over again, but this time there is an underlying promise. His promise to Harry to not run away again. He lays down on the bed and pulls Harry with him, locking their lips a soon as Harry is laying over him. He runs his fingers all over Harry’s chest and back, reacquainting himself with every detail. He thought for a moment he would never get to do this again, to feel Harry’s soft skin against his own.

“Need you inside of me,” Harry whispers between kisses. Louis’ dick is instantly hard at the idea. He is honestly up for anything tonight. He kind of expected Harry to want him to bottom again, as a way to prove that he does want to be with him. He is pleasantly surprised by Harry's request, but will admit to himself, he is a little disappointed, kind of wanting Harry inside of him again. As long as he has Harry, though, he doesn't care.

“Are you sure? I know I didn’t exactly tell you, but I enjoyed being on the bottom last time,” Louis tells Harry, embarrassment from the admission heating his cheeks. Harry grins at him, then kisses each red cheek gently.

“I thought so, but yes I’m sure. It’s been too long, and I just want to feel you,” Harry replies sealing their lips in a heated kiss. Without breaking the kiss, Louis watches through half lidded eyes as Harry reaches into the bed side table and retrieves the lube, but no condom.

“Where’s the condom?” Louis asks brows drawn in confusion wondering why Harry didn't grab one when he got the lube.  

Harry bites his lip and looks down nervously. Louis takes a thumb and releases the lip, putting a finger under his chin to bring him to eye level, searching his gaze trying to decipher what Harry is thinking. “I wanna feel you, Lou. I promise, I’m clean. I’ve never done it without a condom, and I get tested regularly. Are you clean?”

“Yeah.” Louis finds himself agreeing before the rational part of his brain can tell him that this is a bad idea. He has never done anything without a condom, and got tested every time there was free testing offered at his school. He still he knows it's better to be safe than sorry, however his dick very firmly disagrees. Just imagining how hot and tight Harry would be without a condom, has his hard length spurting precome.

“Please then. Please, I just want to feel you. I need to,” Harry says biting his lip again. Louis knows that he trusts Harry to tell him the truth about this. He trusts Harry with everything, so he just nods dumbly, his dick twitching at the thought of being bare inside of Harry.

“We are going to Student Health and getting tested first thing Monday morning though,” Louis tells him, and Harry just nods and smiles. With shaking hands, Louis grabs the lube that Harry laid down beside of them. He repositions himself so he is kneeling between Harry’s spread legs on the bed. He coats his fingers with a fair amount of lube before he circles Harry’s puckered hole, spreading the cool liquid around. He carefully pushes the tip of his index finger through the tight ring of muscle, Harry hisses out a breath. Louis snaps his head up to look him, making sure he is okay. Harry just nods and bites his lip, pushing his hips so Louis is in to his second knuckle.

“Fuck, Lou. That feels so good; I missed you so much,” Harry moans when Louis starts thrusting his finger in and out. He leans down to kiss Harry because he can. He just looks so beautiful at that moment. Eyes closed in pleasure, drying hair fanned around him on the pillow like a dark halo, lips bitten red, and fingers clenching the sheets. Harry returns the kiss hungrily. Louis can tell by his moans when it is time to add a second finger. When he does, Harry grips his bicep so hard it may bruise, but Louis welcomes it. He wants to mark Harry, to let everyone know that Harry is his. He wants Harry to do the same to him, so with that he kisses down Harry’s neck, biting the juncture between his neck and his shoulder blade. Harry hisses out a breath as Louis begins sucking, marking the tan skin.

He adds a third finger when the skin under his mouth is bruised red, Louis kisses the mark then works his way down to Harry’s nipples, licking and biting them. Harry moans, but doesn’t make any move to change the position of Louis head. Louis leaves another large mark on Harry’s pec, just below the black swallow tattoo. He works his way up to Harry’s collar bones, licking and sucking the skin there. Fuck, what he missed most about Harry is his taste.

Harry is now whining under him, his dick red and angry, but he doesn’t beg Louis to get inside of him like he normally would. Maybe he can sense Louis’ need to take this slow. Maybe he also wants to memorize every single detail of the moment. Louis continues his work, creating marks all over Harry’s chest and neck, letting him know that he wants Harry to belong to him as much as he feels like he belongs to Harry. He finally removes his fingers and looks into Harry’s eyes one last time, asking a silent question.

“Yes. Yes, I’m sure,” Harry breaths out, spreading his legs wider like an invitation. Louis takes one last look at Harry’s certain gaze, then positions himself at Harry’s entrance. He slowly pushes in, and fuck, that feels so fucking good. Harry is hot and tight. The sensation more than Louis thinks he can handle. Harry’s hole is gripping his dick like a vice, seeming to pull it further into his heat.  Harry moans as Louis bottoms out. He grits his teeth, and stills his hips attempting to give Harry a moment to adjust. He knows it has been a while.

Harry taps once on Louis’ bicep, signaling him to start moving, so he does. He starts slow because, if he is honest, he is already dangerously close to his own orgasm. He tries to tamp it down, determined to make this good for Harry. He leans down and kisses Harry, taking his hands and pinning them above his head. Harry releases a deep moan in response, his hole tightening for a few seconds around Louis dick dragging him even closer to the edge.

Louis does what he always does when he is too close, he distracts himself by talking. “Fuck baby, you’re so tight for me. Haven’t been with anyone else since me, have ya?” Harry shakes his head violently, gaze never leaving Louis.

“Been such a good boy. I haven’t been with anyone either. No one could take your place, love,” Louis says, and Harry moans. He quickens his pace. Harry muffles his own moans by sinking his teeth into Louis’ neck and sucking on the soft skin.

“You’re so beautiful. My beautiful boy. I missed you so much. I missed this,” Louis says punctuating each word with a thrust, telling Harry exactly what he missed. Harry bites his way down to Louis collarbone, Louis positioning himself, so Harry can reach despite his bound hands. Louis can feel the marks that Harry has created on his skin, making sure that anyone who sees will know that Louis is taken. This idea turns Louis on even more.

“Missed you too, Lou. Missed you being inside of me, ah, filling me up,” Harry replies pausing his bites, voice gravely with arousal. When Harry talks, it does something to Louis. He starts pounding into Harry even faster, pushing Harry’s wrists into the bed using them as leverage. Harry closes his eyes and moans loudly, back arching off the bed, spurring Louis on.

“Fuck Harry. I’m close, are you?” He is aware that he is hitting Harry’s prostate with every thrust because Harry is screaming every time. “Think you can come untouched?” Louis knows it can happen, but he doesn’t know if Harry can actually do it.

“Yeah, fuck, just keep, ah, doing that,” Harry says nodding looking deeply into Louis eyes. Louis feels like, for a brief moment, he can see into Harry’s soul, and it takes his breath away. This. This is what it feels like to be in love. Moments like these that are so raw and passionate, it fills up your entire being, making you want to burst with the feeling.

“I’m gonna fill you up, baby. You want that? You want me to fill you up with my come?” Louis asks, spurring himself on almost as much as Harry because he really will be filling him up this time. He's not wearing a condom, so his come will actually be inside Harry. This thought pushes him impossibly close to the edge, just teetering on the verge of orgasm. He grips Harry’s wrist tighter, probably leaving a mark.

“Yes. Please, Lou. Need it. Need you to fill me up. Need to feel you, every bit of you. I need your come in me,” Harry pleads, tears streaming down his face.

Louis bends his head, capturing Harry’s lips in a heated kiss as he begins pounding into him relentlessly. He swallows Harry’s moans, with his own. He finally breaks away, then buries his face in Harry’s neck breathing in the scent. He is so fucking close, but he wants to get Harry there first, so whispers the only thing on his mind at this very moment. “Baby, I love you, so much. Come for me.”

Harry does, almost completely untouched, except for the friction that was being created by Louis’ stomach. His release paints both of their chests and stomachs with the hot liquid. It feels like it never ends, and it pushes Louis over the edge too, moaning with abandon as he climaxes, pumping Harry full of his own come. His orgasm also seems to be never ending, he can feel his own hot come around his dick, and he has never felt anything more pleasurable. After they both come down a bit, he releases Harry’s wrists and kisses him gently. They both hiss out a breath when Louis pulls out, looking down at Harry’s leaking hole. It may be one of the hottest things Louis has ever witnessed. He had no idea seeing his own come leak out of someone would turn him on so much, but here he is, his worn out dick twitching with renewed interest.

“Stay tonight?” Harry asks and there is a vulnerability in his tone that hurts Louis. It’s like Harry isn’t sure if Louis wants to stay, like he is still unsure of where they stand.

“Of course, love, but you have to answer a question for me first,” Louis says, meeting Harry’s eyes.

“Anything,” Harry answers confusion lacing his tone.

“Will you be my boyfriend?” Louis asks and watches as Harry stops breathing. His mouth is gaping open and his eyes are wide with surprise. Louis chuckles. “Breath, love.”

Harry blinks a few times, like he is trying to make sure Louis is real before a smile breaks his face open, dimples popping. He looks lovely. “Yes. Louis, I would love to be your boyfriend.”

“Good, because I may actually kill anyone else who would try to go for you. I’ve become quite attached, and I need to spend the rest of our lives making the fuckery of this past week up to you.”

“Rest of our lives, huh?” Harry asks with a smile nudging Louis in the ribs with his elbow.

Louis’ eyes widen when he realizes what he just said. He stutters for a second, not really knowing how to reply. Finally he goes with a simple, “Shut up, Styles.”

“Okay, whatever you say, love, for the rest of our lives,” Harry says easily, with a shit eating grin, before kissing him on the lips chastely, effectively stopping Louis’ reply. “I need to jump in the shower real quick. Wanna join me?”

“Sure,” Louis answers watching Harry wince as he moves to stand, cringing as the come trails down his long legs. Louis just smirks, because, well it’s kind of hot knowing that he has done something with Harry that no one else has done. They shower quickly, mostly just washing off their come. Harry rummages through the medicine cabinet to find Niall’s contact eye solution and a spare contact case. Louis didn’t know Niall wore contacts, but is grateful because his eyes are so fucking itchy. They climb in bed together, Harry instantly turning around so Louis can cuddle up close behind him. Harry feels so warm in his arms. He breathes him in, attempting to commit the moment to memory.

“I love you, Lou.” He hears Harry say, softly.

“I love you, too, Hazza,” Louis responds easily, kissing Harry’s temple.

“Promise me something?” Harry asks, voice soft as he falls asleep. His eyes are already closed and his features relaxed.

“Anything.”

“Promise that you will be here in the morning?” Harry whispers. Louis’ breath hitches in his throat. He swallows dryly, blinking away a tear that has suddenly formed there. He hates that Harry isn’t sure he is going to be there tomorrow, so Louis silently vows to himself, and to Harry that he will really spend the rest of his life convincing Harry that he is going to stay, forever.

He pulls Harry tightly to him, not that there is that much room between them to begin with. “Yes. Harry, I promise you I will be here in the morning. I’m not going anywhere.” Louis’ voice is thick with emotion. He barely hears Harry softly reply ‘good’ before Harry’s breaths even out, already asleep. Louis soon follows, a smile on his face, his chest feeling lighter than it has all summer.

 

__________

  


The next morning, Harry wakes to an empty bed. He panics for a moment before he remembers Louis’ promise. Louis’ side of the bed is still warm, so he couldn’t have gone that far. He looks up when he hears his door quietly open, and watches with a fond smile as Louis tiptoes through the room quietly, trying not to wake Harry, not realizing that Harry is watching him.

“Hey,” Harry greets groggily.

“Sorry, love, I really had to pee. I didn’t want to leave you though, but I felt like my bladder was going to burst,” Louis says with a smile, then climbs back into bed, pulling Harry so that his head is laying on Louis chest. Harry listens for a moment to the quiet beating of Louis heart, almost allowing it to lull him back to sleep. He hears Louis’ phone go off, startling him back into consciousness.

“Fuck. It’s my mom,” Louis says looking down at his phone.

“Answer it,” Harry replies sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

“You sure? She is probably just being nosy, trying to find out if I apologized to you.”

Harry’s eyes widen in surprise; he had no idea that Louis had talked to his mom about them. “Yeah. I’m sure.”

Harry watches as Louis accepts the skype call, waving and greeting his mom.

“Where are you?” He hears Jay’s voice loud and clear through the speakers on Louis’ phone.

“I’m umm…” Louis blushes furiously, and it’s so cute, Harry wants to eat him alive. “I’m at Harry’s apartment. Say hello.” Louis then tilts the phone so that both he and Harry are in the frame. Harry is surprised, but recovers quickly as he smiles and waves at Jay.

“Oh!” Jay exclaims her expression one of surprise.

“Yeah. Mom, I know you’ve already met, but this is my boyfriend, Harry,” Louis says with a shy smile. Harry blushes, but can’t deny he loves the way the word ‘boyfriend’ rolls off Louis’ tongue. His insides feel warm and fuzzy.

“We love you already, Harry.” Jay smiles happily. Harry thinks he can see tears in her eyes, but he can’t be sure with the quality of the call.

“I love you all, too. Send everyone my love. I can’t wait to see them again,” Harry says truthfully. Then he listens to Louis ends the call and sit his phone down. He doesn’t get a chance to say anything else because Louis’ lips are on his, locking them together in a chaste kiss.

“Ah hah!” He hears his door bang open causing both him and Louis to jump apart.

“What the fuck!” Louis yells as Niall comes waltzing in, like he owns the place, holding his phone out in one hand.

“I found them!” He says to the phone, gleefully, like he has discovered the Ark of the Covenant and not his two friends in bed together.

“Where?” He hears Liam’s voice through the speaker, looking over at Louis as he groans next to him.

“In bed, of course. It seems our two little love birds finally made up,” Niall says shooting them both a shit eating grin. Harry wants to die of humiliation.

“Fuck off, Niall.” Harry groans, placing his head in his hands, attempting to hide his face from his friend.

“Not until you tell us what is going on. You two disappeared  last night, so we were kind of worried,” Liam says through the speaker.

“Not that it is any of your fucking business, but if you must know, Harry and I made up. We are now officially dating. Please kindly fuck off, so I can suck my boyfriend’s dick,” Louis snaps causing Liam to stutter through the speaker and Niall to cackle. Harry’s face, if possible, goes even redder.

“Touchy. Touchy. Okay, I’ll leave you to it. Please no loud noises, I am trying to watch my morning cartoons,” Niall says turning to leave as Louis flips him off. Harry just laughs because everything about the morning has been perfect.

“So a blow job, huh?” Harry asks once the door is firmly shut.

“‘Course, I think I owe you a morning blow job, you know, to return the favor,” Louis answers wiggling his eyebrows up and down, prompting Harry to laugh in response. His laughter dies in his throat when Louis throws off the covers to reveal Harry’s already half hard cock. Harry moans as Louis slowly kisses down his chest then takes Harry into his mouth. Harry repositions himself, so he is lying flat on his back, grabs Louis’ hips and makes him straddle his face. Louis moans when he figures out what Harry wants, then sinks his hard length into Harry’s mouth.

The angle makes deep throating easier, as Louis’ curved shaft glides easily down his throat, choking him for a few seconds before he pulls back up. Harry pulls off for a moment to get his finger wet before he goes back to it, allowing Louis to control the pace. He puts one wet finger up to Louis’ puckered hole and applies a bit of pressure, not breaching the ring of muscle. Harry can _feel_ Louis’ moan around his dick, so he keeps going, working the whole digit into the tight opening, using his own spit as lube. Louis begins moaning in abandon, sending vibrations all the way up Harry's spine. He thrusts harder, working his way down Harry’s throat or back up on his finger. Harry loves it. He loves feeling used sometimes.

It doesn’t take long for both of them to be moaning around each other’s hard cocks, thrusting into the other. Harry is glad he is on bottom though, since he has less of a gag reflex, Louis’ position allowing for more control. Harry moans around Louis’ cock as he releases into Louis waiting mouth, prompting Louis to also orgasm. After both are finished, Louis carefully rolls off Harry, laying on the bed, feet to head.

“Not gonna lie, this morning is already better than the last time you slept over,” Harry says but instantly regrets it because he has no idea how Louis would take such a joke.

“Well, we will have plenty of mornings together to make up for that during the semester,” Louis replies sitting up and kissing Harry, both moaning when they taste each other on their tongues. “So, how about some pancakes like the ones you were making before I fucked it all up?”

“Sure. You didn’t fuck it up though. It may have taken you the whole fucking summer, but you eventually realized that you’re an idiot,” Harry responds rolling his eyes and dodging Louis’ attempt at tackling him. Yes, the semester was already off to a good start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and Comments are always welcome!  
> Follow me on my social media for updates or just to chat xx  
> Twitter: @Wicked_Archer  
> Tumblr: wicked-archer


	15. The Promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to take a moment to thank Dana for going back through this whole thing for me to edit it! She was a rockstar. Also Mari for being there for me while writing it! 
> 
> This is the final chapter. The Epilogue. I would like to take a moment to thank you, the readers, for staying with me throughout this entire thing. I really hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it. I never would have thought this would get so much attention. I never even intended to write a multi-chapter Larry fic, but here we are. So thank you, for everything. 
> 
> There is also a [Spotify Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/mmbrabd/playlist/3K8GDQgXDwKVDLVF6h3H1T?si=sgO-djloQzmO81_jPnYdYQ%20rel=) that will be updated weekly with the songs represented as chapter titles as well as any other songs that are featured in each chapter.

_I’m sorry but I’m just thinking of the right words to say_   
_I know they don’t sound the way I planned them to be_   
_But if you wait around a while, I’ll make you fall for me_ _  
I promise, I promise you I will- Sturgill Simpson _

 

**_5 Years Later…_ **

Harry wakes up to the feeling of warmth wrapped around his cock. He cracks one eye open to find his boyfriend’s head bobbing up and down, warm spit trailing down his shaft. He tries to move his hands, but finds they are bound to the headboard. He looks to see he is, in fact, tied to the headboard with a purple rope, one that is a part of his and Louis’ collection. He moans as his boyfriend takes him even deeper. Louis releases his cock with a wet pop, the sound resonating throughout the otherwise quiet of the room. Harry whimpers when the cool air caresses hard length, already missing Louis’ warm mouth. His gaze travels up to land on Harry, blue eyes stare at him intensely.

“No need to whine, love, we’ve got all morning,” Louis says, tracing the vein on the understand of Harry’s shaft with a warm tongue.

“What’s this for?” Harry asks, voice deep and gravelly from arousal and sleep.

“Missed you,” Louis answers going back to his task, taking Harry all the way down to the back of his throat in one swift movement. Harry moans out in shock, because he wasn’t expecting it.

“You were on tour with me, though.” Harry tries to reason, not taking his green eyes away from the erotic sight in front of him. Nothing looks better than Louis sucking his cock except maybe his cock inside of Louis. Louis’ lips are red from his ministrations, his cheeks hollowed out, his blue eyes dark with desire. If Harry could take a picture he would, but his hands are tied.

“Yeah, but we were cooped up on a tour bus with your bandmates and Liam. Couldn’t exactly have a ton of fun,” Louis replies, stroking Harry’s cock with a sure hand. Harry realizes it has been a while since they could let their kinkier side out. Temporary Fix, along with their managers Louis and Liam, had spent the summer months on a world tour. After Harry’s graduation, the band hit it big with their first single Sweet Creature. Louis and Liam became their managers, naming their company LiLo Management Incorporated. They had released an album and toured, all in the span of a year and a half, their lives changing with it. Harry feels so fortunate to have all of these experiences with the love of his life, but it didn’t lend them much alone time.

“If you don’t stop, you’re gonna make come,” Harry moans when Louis begins deep throating him, much improved since they began their relationship five years ago.

“That’s the idea Harold,” Louis replies rolling his eyes, a small smile playing on his lips. Harry loves that they can still banter like this, even after five years of being together. They still want each other in every way possible. Harry groans when Louis doubles his efforts. Louis bobs his head faster, hollowing his cheeks, flattening his tongue, and taking Harry deep. Harry desperately wants to reach out for Louis’ hair, to get a good grip, but he can’t. That only makes him more frustrated. He tries to buck his hips up into Louis’ waiting heat, but Louis uses to hands to grip his hips, probably marking him with small bruises, to sill his actions. Fuck, everything about this was hot.

Harry can feel his orgasm building in the pit of his stomach. Louis looks up through his long eyelashes to lock eyes with Harry, then takes him all the way down, going at an impossibly slow pace. Louis has made it very clear that he is in control here. He chooses the pace and when Harry comes. It is sexy as fuck.  Harry moans loudly when Louis takes one hand and starts playing with his balls. He then traces Harry’s rim, using his spit as lubrication. Frustratingly slow, Louis inserts his finger into Harry. Harry tries to buck to get him deeper, but Louis wouldn’t budge. He just leisurely kisses up and down his shaft as he works his finger in deeper.

Finally, Harry can feel Louis’ finger in him, stretching him open in the best possible way, but purposely avoiding his prostate. Harry could scream, but he knows if he does, Louis will just keep him on edge longer as punishment. He learned that lesson years ago, so he bites his lip and enjoys the sensation. After a few minutes, or it could be hours for all Harry knows, of torment, Louis crooks his finger, finding Harry’s spot immediately. At the same time, he pushes his head down and relaxes his throat, letting Harry’s shaft go deep. It feels so good Harry’s eyes roll back into his head as he comes hard down Louis’ throat, moaning as Louis swallows around him. Louis pulls of his now soft cock and kisses Harry’s lips hungrily, allowing Harry to taste himself on his tongue. Fuck he missed this while they were on tour. Quick blow jobs and quiet sex just wasn’t enough to satisfy them.

“I’m not done with you yet,” Louis says, with a wicked glint in his eyes, when Harry begins pulling on the constraints. Harry knows that look. Louis has something planned. Louis smiles and reaches for the lube they keep on their bedside table. Harry spreads his legs to give Louis access, but instead Louis turns around and straddles him so that Harry has an amazing view of Louis’ glorious ass. Harry’s eyes widen when Louis brings one slicked finger around his body to prod his own tight hole. Louis is going to open himself up, and not allow Harry to do anything but watch. He licks his lips, really wanting to taste. His spent cock twitches in interest.

Harry watches with wide eyes as Louis inserts a slick finger into himself, beginning to pump. Harry pulls at the restraints, wanting desperately to touch, but it is of no use, Louis knows how to tie a rope. “This feels so good,” Louis moans adding a second finger. “It feels better when you do it, love, but you are a bit tied up at the moment.”

Harry’s fists tighten at Louis’ words, his cock getting harder by the second. The man always did have a filthy mouth. Louis beings scissoring his two fingers, working himself open and moaning loudly with abandon. Harry watches as Louis inserts a third, a deep growl escaping from his own chest, his fingers itching to touch, to be the ones inside Louis. “Gotta open myself up good for that big dick of yours,” Louis’ raspy voice comes out breathy as he begins moving his hips on his fingers. Harry can feel Louis’ hard cock rubbing against his stomach.

“P-please,” Harry breaths out, so turned on he can’t think straight.

“Please what, love?” Louis asks turning to look at him again, not stopping his ministrations.

“I-I wa-want to,” Harry gets out, not taking his eyes away from Louis’ stretched hole.

“You want to what, baby? You gotta use your words.” Harry just licks his lips in response, Louis must understand because he shimmies his way further up Harry’s chest. He places his now fairly stretched hole directly in front of Harry’s face. Harry strains his neck to reach, but the moment his tongue touches Louis’ rim, Louis moans in bliss. Louis then starts grinding on Harry’s face. All Harry can do is stick out a firm tongue and breath through his nose. Occasionally, Louis would smother Harry’s face with his ass, not allowing for him to breath for a couple of seconds. He knows Louis counted in his head, but he is dizzy from lack of oxygen. His hands twitch from wanting to grip Louis’ ass cheeks, hold him open, and devour him. After a few moments, Louis pulls away and shimmies back down Harry’s torso, continuing to fuck himself with his nimble fingers.

Harry just watches as Louis’ slicked up fingers disappear in and out of his now loosed hole. He listens to Louis’ breathy moans. He can feel the ropes digging into his skin, but he doesn’t register the pain because he is mad with lust. He just wants to touch Louis, but he can’t. “Do you think I’m open enough for you?” Louis asks innocently, turning around to look at Harry. Harry’s cock gets impossibly harder when he takes in Louis’ fucked out appearance. His hair is messy, blue eyes dark with lust, his firm lips puffy and bitten red. Harry just nods dumbly, at a loss for words.

“Good,” Louis says swinging his leg around, so he is properly straddling Harry, looking him in the eyes. Louis reaches up with one hand to run his fingers through Harry’s now short curls. He looks at Harry for a long moment, an expression on his face that Harry can’t quite read. He bends down to kiss Harry’s lips sweetly, a direct contrast to the ropes biting into his wrist. “Gonna ride you,” Louis mumbles into Harry’s mouth.

Louis takes Harry’s hard cock into one hand, standing it up, so he can slowly sink down. Each inch is excruciating to Harry. He is over sensitive from just coming, and now wants nothing more than to fuck up into Louis. He bites his lip, hard, to stop himself. He doesn’t want to hurt Louis, and he will need time to adjust to his length. Once Louis has bottomed out, he steadies himself using Harry’s chest as leverage and closes his eyes. Harry will never get used to the feeling of complete bliss when he is inside Louis.

“Move,” Harry begs through gritted teeth; he can’t take it much longer. Louis is hot and tight around his shaft. Louis’ blue eyes snap open, gazing into his own green eyes with such love that Harry feels his chest may burst. Then Louis begins to move, and Harry’s whole world tilts. Louis places both hands on Harry’s chest, baring down, and begins rocking his hips slowly. His rhythm begins to speed up, moans coming out breathy. Harry loves it when Louis is like this. When he is so deep in his own pleasure, he can’t even form words or sentences like he usually does. Harry is proud that he is the only person allowed to see Louis like this, see him lose control.

Louis bends down and begins sucking and biting at Harry’s neck and collarbone. Harry knows that it almost killed Louis to not leave any marks while they were on tour. The whole world knows about their relationship, but the make-up artist wanted to murder him every time he would show up with a deep bruise. Harry moans at the pain to pleasure ratio, wanting more but not being allowed to hold Louis’ head there himself. Louis repositions himself, now he is hovering above Harry on strong thighs, holding himself so the head of Harry’s cock is just past his rim. He looks down at Harry and nods. Harry knows instantly what Louis wants him to do, and he is one-hundred percent on board with the idea.

Harry plants his feet on the bed for leverage, since his hands are still bound, and begins thrusting up into Louis. The change of angle must be exactly what Louis needs because he screams with the first thrust, falling down on Harry’s torso. Harry keeps going, thrusting harder and faster until they are both panting and moaning, screaming and biting at whatever skin they can sink their teeth into. Louis comes first, with a loud _fuck,_ coating their stomachs and chests with his come.

“Fuck, Harry. Your big dick feels so good, splitting me open,” Louis says straight into Harry’s ear spurring him on. Now that Louis has come, he knows exactly what Harry needs, so he keeps talking. “I need your come, Harry. I need it inside of me, filling me up so good.”

That does it. His hips stutter and loses their rhythm. The words send Harry over the edge into oblivion, pumping Louis full of his come as he screams Louis’ name. He doesn’t know how long it takes him to come down, but he feels it when Louis gingerly pulls off of him, then unties the rope, lightly kissing Harry’s bruised wrists. Harry is so fucked out he barely feels them though.

“Baby, are you okay?” Louis asks. Harry feels Louis fingers in his hair, scratching his scalp softly.

“‘M great,” Harry replies opening his eyes to look at Louis, giving him a dazzling smile, because he really is great. He couldn’t be happier with his life. Five years ago, everything felt so uncertain, but Louis has proven to him countless times that he really does want to make them work. He loves his job, and he loves his boyfriend. He couldn’t ask for much more.

“Good, I’ll be right back,” Louis says kissing him on the cheek then going to their ensuite. He returns with a wet cloth and wipes Harry down, careful around his sensitive cock. Harry feels so loved and taken care of, he just wants to go back to sleep.

“What are we doing today?” Harry asks stretching. He watches curiously as Louis freezes for a moment. If he didn’t know him so well, he probably would have missed it.

“Well, I’ve got some things to wrap up with Liam about the tour. We also have a meeting with your label to discuss the new album. You know, boring stuff,” Louis replies going back into the bathroom. Harry has a weird feeling that Louis isn’t telling him everything, but shrugs it away. Louis would tell him in his own time. “You can hang around here for the day. We don’t need you in any of the meetings.”

 

___________

  


Louis is nervous as fuck. The August sun is beating down on him making him sweat. He just left Harry in their house, lying to him, but it will be worth it in a few hours. In the meantime, he has a job to do. They now live in LA, so he had to arrange for his mom and Anne to do a fair bit of traveling for him to get this together. At this point, everything is done, he just needs to put it all together and drive Harry to the location.

Louis gets in his car, mind racing with the events planned for the rest of the day. He didn’t entirely lie to Harry. He really does have a meeting with Temporary Fix’s label to discuss the upcoming album, and he really was meeting Liam. However, they are not just going to wrap up some tour stuff. Liam is helping him. Louis is suddenly so very thankful for their family and friends.

Louis heads off to the record label’s building. The meeting, thankfully, doesn’t last long. Louis finds it hard to sit still during the entire thing. He feels jittery with nervous energy. They decide to try to get the band in the studio and begin recording three weeks from now, giving them all a small vacation. Louis is happy with that, since he is planning a trip out of the country for him and Harry tomorrow. When the meeting is finally over, he smiles and shakes their hands then quickly exits the building, not wanting to be caught up by anyone else.

He probably drives far too fast over to Liam’s house, but he can’t help it. He is anxious to get started. Liam greets him with a huge smile, motioning for him to come in. Everything has changed so much for them all in the past five years. Well two years really. Up until then, they were all poor, except for Harry, and living in shitty apartments near campus. Now, however, they each own a big house with all the latest appliances and gadgets. He and Harry started living together after their first year, Louis and Niall switching roommates. With their first big check, he bought his mom and Dan a bigger home, with more rooms so none of his siblings had to share anymore. It is nice being able to help his family. That is what he wanted to do all along. The only reason he had gone to college in the first place.

“Alright, got the stuff?” Liam asks, clapping his hands together and leading them into his office.

“Yeah. Right here,” Louis says holding up his precious flash drive. He has been hiding the damn thing from Harry, staying up late at night on the tour bus to add to it as his mom and Anne sent him material. He also had to do quite a bit of digging through Harry, Ash, Cal, Liam, and Niall’s social media as well as old photos saved on Harry’s computer for content. It is all very sneaky, and Louis hated lying to Harry, but it is necessary.

“Good!” Liam exclaims smiling and plugging the device in. They spend the next five hours with their heads bent over Liam’s computer, putting together their project. Louis pausing every so often to text his family or Harry’s seeing where they are and if they have made it to their hotels. He had to fly them in from home, but it would be worth it for them all to be there. They were such a huge part in making this happen, he wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Are you happy with this?” Liam’s asks stretching his back, the joints popping.

“Yeah. I think it looks great. Do you think Haz will like it?” Louis questions, nervously biting his lip. He studies Liam’s reaction to make sure he isn’t lying just to make him feel better.

“Lou, Haz is gonna love it. Stop worrying,” Liam answers with a huge smile, patting Louis on the back. Louis lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding.

“Yeah. You’re right; I’m just nervous,” Louis admits looking down at his clasped hands.

“I know, but you’ll be alright. We will all be there.”

“Okay. Are you sure you can take care of this?” Louis asks, gesturing towards the computer screen.

“Yeah, man, no problem. I got it. Niall is going with me, so just relax. All you need to worry about is getting Harry there,” Liam reassures, making the whole thing sound so simple.

“Yeah. Get Harry there,” Louis repeats. They talk for a few more minutes about what the label had to say, then Louis bids his friend farewell, knowing he would see him in an hour. He thinks about tonight and what he is going to say during the short ride back to their house.

“Hazza, where are you?” Louis shouts when he walks through the door, toeing off his shoes and hanging his keys on the hook.

“In here!” He hears Harry shout from the kitchen. Louis walks through the house and into the kitchen to find Harry making cookies. Harry smiles at him brightly, flour on his left cheek and the tip of his nose. Louis’ chest hurts with the overwhelming feeling of love. He knows how much Harry missed cooking and baking while they were away, so it isn’t surprising that Harry chose to spend his day off doing exactly that.

“Almost done? I have a surprise for you,” Louis tells him, walking up and giving Harry a chaste kiss on the lips then stealing a bite of cookie dough, which taste like heaven. Harry slaps his hand away, but smiles meaning that he isn’t really all that mad. Probably the opposite.

“Oh really? What is it?” Harry asks excitedly.

“It wouldn’t be a surprise then, so I am not telling you. Plus, I know you love surprises.” Louis smiles remembering all of the times Harry had surprised him over the past five years. Unlike Harry, though, Louis hates surprises, however, that didn’t seem to deter his boyfriend.

“I’m almost finished. I just need to pop these in the oven. By the time I shower and get ready, they should be ready to cool,” Harry explains as he picks up the pan and places it into the already pre-heated oven.

“I’ll shower with you, I still feel a bit sticky after this morning.” Louis winks then grabs Harry’s hand to lead them upstairs. They shower quickly, well aware of the cookies baking in the oven down stairs. They both wear shorts and a t-shirt, wanting to be comfortable since Louis knows they will be sitting for a while. He smiles thinking about what is going to happen in a matter of a few short hours.

 

__________

  


Harry’s curiosity is killing him as they drive to an undisclosed location. Louis is clearly nervous, his left leg is jogging and his right hand is tapping the steering wheel. He reaches over and grabs it to pull it into his lap, trying to relax his boyfriend. He has no idea what is going on, but it has Louis on edge. Louis shoots him a nervous smile, but doesn’t say anything as they continue to drive out of LA completely. After about another half an hour of pregnant silence, Louis pulls into an almost empty parking lot, which is strange since, given the huge fucking screen, they are obviously at a drive in theater.

“Thought it would be nice to kind of relieve one of our first dates,” Louis explains looking down shyly and turning off the ignition. Harry smiles at him because this is just so sweet and romantic. Louis’ gets out and goes around back to pull out two chairs, unfolding them. Harry smiles again because he is glad they aren’t sitting in the back of the car, as comfortable as that was.

“What’s playing?” Harry asks, sitting down.

“The Notebook,” Louis answers kissing Harry on the temple. The sun is starting to set casting an orange glow around Louis, like a halo. He looks breathtaking really. Harry watches as Louis produces a brown paper bag with a rose sticking out the top. He can’t help that his smile gets even wider because it is very much the same thing that Harry did for him during their date to the outdoor theater all those years ago. Louis then reaches into the bag and pulls out sushi.

“Just the Notebook?” Harry asks taking the offered chopsticks.

“No.” Louis pauses, then at Harry’s confused look quickly adds, “I think they are playing something else, but I can’t remember the other movie. I guess we will have to wait and see.” Harry thinks that is a really odd answer, but Louis has been acting odd all day, so he shrugs it off. He also thinks it’s strange that there aren’t many other cars there, maybe no one was really all that interested in watching a somewhat old movie.

They feed each other sushi and watch the movie, whispering between themselves. Louis laughs when Harry quotes certain lines, and Harry laughs when Louis tears up near the end because Louis, even after all of these years, hates showing his emotions. All in all, Harry couldn’t have asked for a better evening. It is exactly what he needed after such a hectic tour schedule. It is now dark, the area around them quiet, and Harry looks up at the screen when the next film starts playing.

Except it’s not a film, it starts off with huge white text across a blank screen that just simply says, ‘Something Great’ the title to the song Harry wrote for Louis to convince him that they needed to be together. Harry glances over at Louis, but Louis just nods towards the screen silently telling Harry to watch. Harry is now so curious it could kill him, so he just turns his head back towards the screen. He watches, with tears in his eyes, as images and videos from the past five years flash across the screen with music playing in the background.

It starts with old pictures of both of them, from their childhood, pictures with their families or just taken during special occasions like Christmas or birthdays. After the walk down memory lane, the film switches to the most recent era of their lives: a video of Temporary Fix’s first performance during their tour, backstage shots of Harry and Louis, selfies, and pictures with fans. Then it switches to videos and pictures from various vacations and time spent together over the years. Harry recognizes their skiing trip and laughs at the video of Louis falling down, and Harry helping him back up. Some of the videos he wasn’t aware actually existed, like the one where he, with fear in his eyes, jumped from a dock into a lake, Louis smiling proudly. He watches, with tears in his eyes, images of him and Louis and their life together thus far. So many pictures of them together, or with their family and friends.  

The screen then goes black with the words ‘Where it all Began’. In this montage, there are images and videos of their first summer together, some of which he didn’t know were even in existence. They start with the night of the concert then move to Harry’s first time visiting Louis’ family. Louis with a sleeping Ernie on this stomach. Harry braiding Phoebe’s hair with Louis directing him. Louis hugging Fizzy while they talked on the grass, watching as his siblings and Harry caught fireflies in the background. Then the movie switches to more photos of that fateful summer. The lake he and Louis went canoeing on. Harry on stage at The Gate. The picture that was taken at the top of Louis’ first roller-coaster ride; Louis’ eyes shut with fear, a tear streaming down his beautiful face. Harry looking at him worriedly, squeezing his hand. So many selfies that Harry had forced Louis in to taking at the ball game, during lunch or dinner, while they were out drinking at a house or club. Harry is now openly crying, the mini-movie of their relationship dancing in front of his eyes. Finally, the screen goes black again with white letters slowly appearing: ‘Will You Marry Me?’

Harry can’t breathe as he chokes on a sob. He just stares at the words, not sure if he is reading them correctly or if this is just a dream. He hears Louis clear his throat and looks over. Louis has gotten on one knee, an open velvet box with a rose ring held in his right hand. Harry puts his hands up to his face to cover his gasp. He can’t believe it. Louis is really doing this. He is proposing to him.

“Harry. I am so glad I met you that summer five years ago. To this day, I still regret how stubborn I was, but you never gave up on me. You never gave up on us. You changed my life for the better. You taught me so much about myself, it still scares me to this day. You made me question everything I thought I knew, and opened my mind to so many possibilities. You make me better. Over the past few years, I have found that a home isn’t a place, but a person. When I look at you I see the love of my life. I see a future. I see home. I fucking love you so much Harry, it hurts sometimes. I want to spend the rest of my summers with you, as well as autumns, winters, and springs. Always with you. Will you marry me?” Louis speaks, his own tears streaming down his face.

Harry is speechless for a moment, attempting to wipe the tears from his eyes, but it is of no use, they just keep coming. Just looking at Louis as he waits for an answer, clearly holding his breath. When Louis mouths the word ‘please’ it springs Harry into action. He can’t let Louis go on thinking he is doubting this, doubting them.

“Yes. I love you so much. Yes, Louis, I will marry you,” Harry answers through a sob. Louis beams at his answer, his smile lighting up the whole parking lot. Louis takes Harry’s shaking left hand, and slips the ring on it. Harry is no stranger to wearing rings, but it feels right being on that finger. Like it has been waiting for Louis to do this.

Once the ring is in place, Harry falls to his knees and dives into Louis’ arms, kissing him soundly. He vaguely hears applause around them, then opens his eyes to see everyone they know surrounding them and clapping. This causes Harry to start crying all over again because it is so thoughtful of Louis to do this. He kisses Louis one more time, then turns to look at everyone. His band is there, Ash and Cal smiling broadly at them. Liam and Niall are there, wiping their own tears. Gemma and Robin are hugging his Mom who is holding a wet tissue. Louis’ entire family is there, Fizzy smiling knowingly. Louis told Harry that Fizzy was the first in his family to figure it out.

Harry and Louis both stand up, accepting hugs and kisses from everyone crowded around them. The youngest twins cheering when they finally understand that Harry is going to be their ‘official brother’ now. Harry’s mom hugs him for what feels like ages, telling him that he found a good one. He and Louis then switch moms, and he finds himself wrapped tightly in Jay’s warm embrace. She whispers in his ear, telling him to take care of her son, and that she loved him from the very first moment they met.

“I can’t believe you are all here. You sneaky assholes,” Harry says to the group as a whole once he finds out from Niall and Liam that everyone had a part in creating the small film. The group laughs good-naturedly.

“Okay, everyone, if you will excuse us, we have a two week trip to Jamaica to pack for,” Louis says grabbing Harry’s hand. Harry’s eyes widen at that bit of information.

“Really?” He asks, eyes wide looking directly at Louis.

“Yeah, love. I figured you would want a break, and we need to celebrate! Don’t worry, we will have a few days before we leave to see our families before they fly home,” Louis answers with a smile knowing Harry would love to spend time with their families since they haven’t had a ton of time with them over the past few years.

“You’re the best fiancé I could ever ask for,” Harry says wrapping Louis in a tight hug, putting emphasis on the word ‘fiancé’.

“Good. I plan to be the only one you will ever have,” Louis replies hugging Harry just as tightly.

“I love you, Lou.”

“I love you, too, Curly.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and Comments are always welcome!  
> Follow me on my social media for updates or just to chat xx  
> Twitter: @Wicked_Archer  
> Tumblr: wicked-archer


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